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killer_queen
09-15-2007, 02:52 PM
Are there any jealous -I mean really jealous in an annoying way- people here? Well, I'm sure there are not. You all seem to be nice people. Well then, how tolerant are you to jealous people? Because I'm about to admit that I'm one of them.

I'll assume that most of you know I don't really love my country and its traditions. I have always thought that it could be nice to live somewhere else. I had spent 18 years here and it's more than enough.

Anyways, I had one of these friend groups when I was in high school. You know, classmates that you don't really love but somehow enjoy talking to. As you can guess we're not seeing each other that often any more but we generally know what the others are doing.
So, this guy, who was a part of this group, went to US this summer with that Work and Travel bullshit. Which was something I really wasn't jealous of. I mean, I was a spoiled little girl. I don't want to sound annoying but I can't imagine myself carrying people's bags for spending a couple of months in abroad.

But now, I think he has finished the working part because he's traveling. Traveling all over the USA, seeing the places I've never seen, meeting lots of people and I feel..I don't know, betrayed.

I've always thought that I would be the first one who do that in the group. Hell, I was the one with the best English, I had the green passport that allows you to go anywhere without needing visa and I was the one who really wanted to travel the world. And this is unfair, I feel like my dreams have been stolen from me. I should have been the first one to do that.

What's worse is I used to have a friend who was so jealous that she once got literally sick because someone started to play violin before she did. And I guess, I'm no different. I'm not sick or anything but have this weird feeling on me.

The point is...there's no point. I don't have a livejournal account so I tell about my problems here. I hope I don't bore you.

wheelchairman
09-15-2007, 03:40 PM
I'm not that jealous. I guess I'm more focused on myself. If I want something I'll find some way to do it. Or make a note to find a way to do it when I have more means.

I guess I just find it pathetic when people don't bother to do the things they want to, but instead focus on how they can't. I mean what's stopping you from going to the US? Or India? Or anywhere? The most likely answer is lack of will. Then I guess you really can't want it that bad. I know there are certain cultural restrictions where you are, but that shouldn't make an impossible obstacle in your position. I know a Turkish woman from Yzmir going to study in the US right now, and she worked hard to do it.

killer_queen
09-15-2007, 04:01 PM
Well, I'm pretty much like you. I never whine about the things I want but can't get. I can go to anywhere I want right now and I'm sure that my family will support me. The thing is, I have priorities. I really want to study medicine. Actually, I've never wanted something so bad. If I go and waste 3 months in US it would be impossible for me to get in a good university.

Seriously, nothing stops me but that's not I want. This guy will be back in April, he'll graduate in a couple years and probably will have a shitty job that will allow him to go abroad once in a year or something. No, thanks. I want a safe future with a job I love. I wouldn't want to be in his place. I'm just jealous because he did it before me.

By the way, I thought studying in US would be cool too but unfortunately only people who graduated from college/university whatever it is can study medicine there.

wheelchairman
09-15-2007, 04:27 PM
Taking a break for 3 months would prevent you from ever getting in a good university? wtf?

Anyways good luck, but be careful. Youth is the time when you have the least obligations. You will eventually be rooted somewhere, and it will be harder to get out then. You spend all college studying hard and not enjoying life and you will end up finished with a good job and having missed out on those years of joy. I've seen it happen and it's real bitter.

JoY
09-15-2007, 04:38 PM
you've never been boring, Gulsah.

as friendly as I am, I tolerate jealous people. even very jealous people.
hahaha, I can't believe you even questioned that, like people don't understand the concept of jealousy. it's not in how strong the jealousy is, understanding the concept of it should really be enough. don't be so idealistic (though it's adorable!), because jealousy gets the best of every one of us every once in a while. even if you're quicker to feel jealous, or are more jealous usually than others, it never stops being an understandable concept for every single human being. & if anyone says it isn't, he's absolutely, definitely, without question, lying.

jealousy is an unwanted emotion, that forces itself on you, it sucks, it tastes bitter & it reminds you of all the things you don't have, even if you have so much going for you.

I'm usually not easily jealous. not that I'm so content, but when others accomplish something great for themselves, it's usually not the same thing I would've wanted for me. & if it is, when I know how long & difficult the road to that accomplishment was, I'm not entitled to jealousy, but only amazement & pride that someone I know pulled it off. because obviously, apparently, I didn't walk that same long & difficult road. but hey, I can be a jealous bizotch about it aswell. suuure.

I usually don't really have the right to be jealous & I guess it helps being aware of that. I really do have it easy in comparison. I already have so much, that I didn't necessarily deserve.

I'm the girl who wants to see if she could get a third chance, after she's gotten a second one. I guess it's because I'm spoiled. it's in some ways incredibly disgusting. how much do I need to do, or not do, to lose it? how stable really is my position? am I entitled to be happy with how things are, or could it slip away at any moment? so most things do slip away at some point thanks to that attitude. although I learned to hold on to some things.

so mostly, when others had something good, great, or even perfect going, I never thought the honours should've been mine, but I always wondered how the fuck they pulled it off. to walk the ENTIRE road & stay on it so loyally. of course some things just have to do with luck & opportunity, but I bet that I sometimes get unique opportunities too, that I possibly overlook. or skip for something else & in that case it's really my own choice. & of course some things will just never be for me, but those are things I'd rather not waste energy on. it's hard enough for me to stay concentrated on what I want & to stay focussed.

one day I might, possibly, probably, hopefully learn not to loosen my grip after I've got what I was after. it's not about the chase, if it eventually leaves you empty handed.

HeadAroundU
09-15-2007, 04:52 PM
I have been to USA with that Work&Travel bullshit. Prnk on U :d

HornyPope
09-15-2007, 05:06 PM
If you have grown up spoiled and usually getting what you want, I think it's pretty normal that you are not satisfied with being #2. It's not as much jealousy as the shock to find yourself bested by someone else. Get used to it though because as you grow you will experience more and more of it. For example, one of your friends could become an english professor and suddenly you're not the expert in languages anymore.


I guess I just find it pathetic when people don't bother to do the things they want to, but instead focus on how they can't. I mean what's stopping you from going to the US? Or India? Or anywhere? The most likely answer is lack of will. Then I guess you really can't want it that bad.

I agree with that.

JoY
09-15-2007, 05:14 PM
I know this is not about me, but maybe it's because I'm the youngest of 2, that I don't mind to be #2 a whole lot, except when I really really really really REALLY feel I deserved to be #1. ooh ouch, that can be such a bitch. injustice (or when you feel it is) is the most frustrating thing I know.