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Linda
09-19-2007, 12:56 PM
I just got this in email and thought some of you may enjoy reading.
If you've seen it before, I apologize.

She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes
of her young granddaughter as she'd done many times before. After she
applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But
Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!"

#####

My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He
asked me how old I was, and I told him, "62." He was quiet for a moment,
and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"

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After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old
slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard
the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin.
Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room,
putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she
heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"

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A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own
childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing
made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our
pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was
wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten
to know you sooner!"

#####

My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know
how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo while I asked,
"No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.

#####

A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word
processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he
asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

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I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I
decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it
was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I
continued. At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, "Grandma, I
think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"

#####

When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the
lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects.
Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy
whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming after us
with flashlights."

#####

When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not
sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised. "Mine says I'm
four to six."

#####

A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother,
"Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The
grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool.
"That's interesting," she said, "how do you make babies?" "It's simple,"
replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."

#####

Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a
teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder
pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you
know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy
confidently. "It means carrying a child."

#####

A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids
home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of
the truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's
duties. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one child. "No," said
another, "he's just for good luck." A third child brought the argument
to a close. "They use the dogs,"she said firmly, "to find the fire
hydrants...

KyleW
09-19-2007, 01:06 PM
Hehe... Some of these actually made me laugh.

nameless
09-19-2007, 03:53 PM
id never heard those before, they were really good!

Paint_It_Black
09-19-2007, 10:56 PM
A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word
processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he
asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

I sort of liked that one.

Sin Studly
09-20-2007, 04:30 AM
lol, Linda is old.

mrconeman
09-20-2007, 09:25 AM
In before Linda is old enough to have grandchildren.
Hey, I thought it, but have no real reason to say it myself.

Some of those got a laugh out of me.

Linda
09-20-2007, 10:42 PM
lol, Justin will never make it to old age.

coke_a_holic
09-20-2007, 11:03 PM
lol, petty arguments.

HeadAroundU
09-21-2007, 03:45 AM
lol, Justin will never make it to old age.
lol, good reply.

lol, let me predict his future. He will be beaten to death by some nazi half-Maori/half-Polynesian drug addict.