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View Full Version : Funerals: Tips Needed



MrJoe
02-17-2008, 06:00 PM
Sadly just over a week ago one of my best friends died tragically in a motorbike accident. I'd known him since I was about 5 and have been friends with him all through both schools and particularly well the last couple of years.

His older brother and parents have asked me to write a tribute speech to read at the funeral which is this coming wednesday - I've nearly finished what I'm going to say.

However, although I've managed to cope pretty well so far having had to keep so many people updated with arrangements and take them to the accident site to leave flowers and last respects, I am unsure how I am going to be when reading out my speech.

If anyone has done this before or could offer me any tips or advice on best preparing myself it'd be greatly appreciated!

That is all - hope we all had a good weekend!

Andy
02-17-2008, 07:04 PM
Avoid the phrase, "So when's this all kicking off then? I fancy a beer"

I learnt that the hard way at my gran's funeral.

Oh, and whatever you do, don't watch the Coupling episode that deals with the "Giggle Loop".

the_offsprings_monkey
02-17-2008, 07:14 PM
Avoid the phrase, "So when's this all kicking off then? I fancy a beer"

I learnt that the hard way at my gran's funeral.


I love you Andy! I don't tell this enough!

Andy
02-17-2008, 07:18 PM
To this day I still don't know why I said it. Maybe I thought it would be funny? Either way it just made me out to be a heartless shit*. I said it to my mother, which was a bad call in anyone's books, seeing as it was her mother who kicked it.

*Which is true.

Lizardus
02-17-2008, 07:18 PM
Just write from the heart.

Or

Steal the corpse while screaming "He's still alive!".

Wolfbutter
02-17-2008, 07:25 PM
Wow, you guys sure are hilarious.

....

Anyway, just stay calm. I know it's really hard to do when you're nervous, but there isn't really much advice to give. And while they tell you to visualize people naked, that doesnt work; if you end up trying to hard, you'll look like a fool. Also, try not to cry; while it is surely acceptable, it is pretty dumb for a man to cry, except if his dog dies. Don't practice your speech to much, or it will sound too rehearsed, and that is a bad thing for a funeral. Good luck with your speech, I hope it turns out fine. :)

Andy
02-17-2008, 07:31 PM
I just read the first post, and the only thing I can think of is be natural. You've just lost a good friend and if you break down you break down, nobody will begrudge you it.

Jakebert
02-17-2008, 07:39 PM
To this day I still don't know why I said it. Maybe I thought it would be funny? Either way it just made me out to be a heartless shit*. I said it to my mother, which was a bad call in anyone's books, seeing as it was her mother who kicked it.

*Which is true.

God, they're right, you ARE an asshole.

Andy
02-17-2008, 07:43 PM
I know:( :( :(

I just don't act well in those situations. When I'm uncomfortable I say stupid, stupid things.

Mota Boy
02-17-2008, 08:04 PM
Give it to a mutual friend to look over and make suggestions. Practice reading it a few times to yourself in the mirror. Think about what you want to say and how you're going to say it. Imagine reading it while you're there, that way it might be easier to face when you finally read it, though it will be hard to prepare for the full weight of the moment when it arrives.

Best of luck.

sKratch
02-17-2008, 08:15 PM
As has already been said, you lost a really close friend. If you break down, I don't think anyone can blame you for it.

Lizardus
02-17-2008, 08:40 PM
As has already been said, you lost a really close friend. If you break down, I don't think anyone can blame you for it.
Very true, sometimes tears speak louder than words.

JohnnyNemesis
02-17-2008, 08:41 PM
As has already been said, you lost a really close friend. If you break down, I don't think anyone can blame you for it.

Actually, if he breaks down, it might even be celebrated. It'll only show how much emotion is involved.

mrconeman
02-17-2008, 09:04 PM
There's nothing wrong with breaking down at a funeral, don't worry about that.
Sorry to hear about your friend.

Wolfbutter
02-17-2008, 09:24 PM
Alright, yeah sorry. I just thought it would be really awkward. =\

Rag Doll
02-17-2008, 10:22 PM
l. Also, try not to cry; while it is surely acceptable, it is pretty dumb for a man to cry, except if his dog dies.

false.

anyways. i'm so sorry =(. a close friend of mine died when we were 16. it's wayyyy hard to deal with and way hard to have to like.....write a speech about someone so young dying. just speak from the heart, and if you end up crying/being nervous...it's not a big deal. like, really, people certainly wouldnt fault you for it/remember it/notice. good luck.

MrJoe
02-18-2008, 03:47 AM
Thanks for all the comments and suggestions so far.
I'm glad people don't think it'd be awful if I did break down, I mean I've been pretty good so far but with the whole occasion and everything it'll finally properly sink in.

I definitely think I'll read it a couple of times before the funeral, just so I know roughly how its going to go, but when the actual time comes I'm gonna make sure I have a bottle of water with me, grit my teeth and get on with it.

MrJoe
02-20-2008, 12:01 PM
Well, if anyone cares, the funeral was today.

I wasn't too nervous before my speech although just before I went up I kept needing a piss real bad. But I held it off.

Did my speech, wasn't too nervous, made people laugh, got through it. Mine was the longest one as well.

For people who said to me that you find strength from somewhere to get on and do it and now get upset, I see exactly what you mean.