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Davo
06-25-2008, 07:18 AM
Do you want to win a picture from Davo?
Write a short story about The Offspring to this thread.
Good luck. :)

Hypodermic_89
06-25-2008, 07:26 AM
A picture of what? Your genitals? No thanks.

Biggest offspring fan
06-25-2008, 07:27 AM
Wtf!????????????????????

Davo
06-25-2008, 07:34 AM
A picture of what? Your genitals? No thanks.

My genitals are very nice, but it isn't a picture of my genitals. :D

Hypodermic_89
06-25-2008, 07:37 AM
My genitals are very nice, but it isn't a picture of my genitals. :D
Well then what is it?

Davo
06-25-2008, 07:41 AM
It is a surprise. ;) You must write a story and maybe you will win it! :D

Steph
06-25-2008, 08:33 AM
Once upon a time...
Sure sure, it's my biggest dream to win it...whatever it is:p

RazielSR
06-25-2008, 08:55 AM
hahahaha
"Davo, from Offspring forums"
:D
XDD

Free?
06-25-2008, 09:07 AM
Here's my story.
Once upon a time I was an ordinary teenager, I didn't pay much attention to music and when I bought my first stereo I needed a cassette to listen to, so I bought Americana and started to listen. The most of my attention went to Pretty Fly because it "was cool and was on TV". After few months of digging Americana I started to be obsessed with The Offspring. Some time later I've bought the rest of albums and started try and figure out what were lyrics about. I've changed alot. After 10 years I've became to what you can see on my avatar. The Offspring changed my life. End.
Now others may copy my story and use as their own (which wouldn't be wrong), but it was me, the first one, so I hope to win the prize.

ad8
06-25-2008, 09:09 AM
Once upon a time, Noodles visited the BBS again...
...and he viewed a thread, created by a childish poster from Slovakia. He got pissed because that guy from Slovakia never posted anything about the Offspring and just trolled around. So Noodles was angry and let the admins ban the guy. End of story.

Pringlos
06-25-2008, 09:11 AM
Once upon a time there was a band called The Offspring. They tossed out guitar picks to the crowd, with offspring-ish artwork on it.

Hypodermic_89
06-25-2008, 09:33 AM
Once upon a time, Greg K used to talk.

Enjoi
06-25-2008, 09:34 AM
Once upon a time a band called The Offspring changed drummers like 20 times. :)

dff_punk
06-25-2008, 09:52 AM
Once upon a time, about two years ago, Davo created a thread in a czech offspring forum about a competition to win a picture from him, and he annoyed loads of people there by it. Two years have passed, and Davo, unoriginally, made a thread of the totally same kind at the official Offspring BBS, recieving wtf's from other members.

Moral of the story: Davo, try something more original next time! :)

Hypodermic_89
06-25-2008, 09:54 AM
Once upon a time, about two years ago, Davo created a thread in a czech offspring forum about a competition to win a picture from him, and he annoyed loads of people there by it. Two years have passed, and Davo, unoriginally, made a thread of the totally same kind at the official Offspring BBS, recieving wtf's from other members.

Moral of the story: Davo, try something more original next time! :)
Seriously? He did that?

dff_punk
06-25-2008, 10:00 AM
Yup. Sorry Davo to reveal the truth :) But you need more vitamins to create more original threads ;)

EDIT: There was one little difference, there he asked people to write how much they love The Offspring, and here he asked people to write stories about them... So this argument has passed, Davo :p

The Search Button
06-25-2008, 12:31 PM
....in the end Greg, Noodles and Dexter lived happily ever after.

Hypodermic_89
06-25-2008, 12:51 PM
....in the end Greg, Noodles and Dexter lived happily ever after.
With The Aquabats.

Cock Joke
06-25-2008, 02:56 PM
When I saw the thread title, I read it out loud in Strongbad's voice from the early emails.

Rafa88offspring
06-25-2008, 04:21 PM
Once upon a time a band called The Offspring changed drummers like 20 times. :)

I knew that story but with a different name, it was "once upon a time a band called the offspring stole Alkaline Trio's past drummers and plan on taking over the whole band... hopefully... and why not? the vandals too"

holland25
06-26-2008, 12:34 AM
Do you want to win a picture from Davo?
Write a short story about The Offspring to this thread.
Good luck. :)

No, we don't. Idiot.

Budzy
06-26-2008, 02:26 AM
The Puppy Who Lost His Way
There once was a puppy named Thomas who loved a boy. The boy was his best friend. The boy's name was Johnny. Every day Johnny and Thomas would go to the backyard and play until it got dark.
One Saturday morning the golden sun was up, and it was very hot. Johnny wiped the sweat off his face, and went to get Thomas. Johnny began to throw a ball to Thomas. Thomas chased after the ball and grabbed it between his teeth.
The sun was shining. It was a hot summer day, and the heat began to make them tired.
"Hey Thomas," Johnny said. "Want to go get some ice cream?"
Thomas replied by letting his tongue pant.
Johnny began walking to the ice cream store with Thomas by his side. Johnny read a sign that said: "No Pets Allowed!"
Johnny looked at Thomas and said. "I'll be right back."
Johnny tied Thomas to a pole. He then went inside to buy some ice cream.
Thomas was sniffing around, but then he saw a big dog.
The big dog began barking, and chased Thomas off. When Johnny walked back outside, he went down many streets looking for Thomas, but couldn't find him. He then returned home and began to cry.


Thomas ran and ran, and was able to escape from the big dog; but, by that time he had lost his way. He had no idea where he was! It was getting dark, and it began to rain. Thomas whimpered, but had spotted a place to stay dry. He climbed in a mailbox and slowly fell asleep.

When Thomas woke up he began to search for Johnny. He barked for hours and hours hoping to find the boy.
Johnny had been calling for hours and hours looking for his best friend. After a very long time both began to give up. Thomas began to whimper from sadness again. A cat heard him whimpering, and recognized Thomas because they were neighbors.
The cat named "Frisky" asked Thomas, "Why are you crying."
Thomas looked up and said. "I'm lost and I don't know how to get back."
Frisky felt sorry for Thomas, and knew the right thing to do.
"I'll take you back home. Follow me."
Thomas followed Frisky all the way back to his home. Johnny saw Thomas running toward him, and they ran toward each other until Thomas was safely in Johnny's arms.
Thomas vowed to stay next to Johnny, and never get lost again. Thomas lived happily ever after with his best friend, Johnny.

NOW WHERES MY GODDAMN PRIZE!
(and if you just read through that i feel so sorry for u and ur life)

Conspiracyof1000
06-26-2008, 02:34 AM
Was that about The Offspring or a puppy?

MY STORY
By me

The Offspring were born. They grew up and made music. One album made millions of dollars talking about gangs and violence and SMASH, and they became famous. Then they made more albums and became more famous by writing about fly white guys and jobless bitches and AMERICANA. After that they wrote about random stuff in different styles but nobody liked that album so they became less famous.

Then they tried to be serious again but everyone hated that album because it sucked. They released a greatest hits with a new song and everyone thought they were going to go into acting because of it. Then they wrote a new album and it took them 5 years but they finally got it out. People hated it, but most people liked it.

Now who knows what The Offspring will do.

THE END

SkunkIt
06-26-2008, 02:36 AM
Away in a far town near a trench, lied a cowboy named DEXTER HOLLAND. The ladies loved him and the men feared him. The children would run away and cry, but with a smile and a bottle of rum he sang this lullaby, "Now listen here you dirty ol' tramp I want you to bake my pie, now excuse me while I piss on a bush and teach a bird to fly". So he dragged up a vamp right under his belt and gave a good ol' sigh. He paid her with tips, rode off on his horse, quiety chanting, "Tai Ai!"

Budzy
06-26-2008, 02:37 AM
Was that about The Offspring or a puppy?



no idea. i was thiking billymadison so i googled the puppy who lost his way and found that. hahaha

Davo
06-26-2008, 04:59 AM
Some stories are interesting. :cool:


Once upon a time, about two years ago, Davo created a thread in a czech offspring forum about a competition to win a picture from him, and he annoyed loads of people there by it. Two years have passed, and Davo, unoriginally, made a thread of the totally same kind at the official Offspring BBS, recieving wtf's from other members.

Moral of the story: Davo, try something more original next time! :)
You forgot write that there was competition where you could write poetry... :)


No, we don't. Idiot.
I agree that you are idiot... :D

holland25
06-26-2008, 06:39 AM
So that means my story is the best.

Davo
06-27-2008, 03:27 AM
Your story? HAHAHA!!! :D

Next stories, please...:)

Free?
06-27-2008, 03:30 AM
Come on, Davo, choose one author and give him the prize already!

Davo
06-27-2008, 03:35 AM
Here is a few stories...

Hypodermic_89
06-27-2008, 05:29 AM
You suck Davo.

Why would anyone want to win something completely unknown from a completely unknown person from Slovakia?

Why the hell keep it a secret? It's probably just some shitty Offspring wallpaper you made on MS Paint.

Smash punker
06-27-2008, 06:04 AM
Maybe Davo wrote a book and heīs gonna give one piece to da winner?! :D

Budzy
06-27-2008, 06:09 AM
why in fucks name havnt i won yet?

Camilamazed
06-27-2008, 08:59 AM
I can't figure out what is worse.

The thread, or people (like me) wasting time replying to it.

=\

BuckyO'Hare
06-27-2008, 10:55 AM
You guys are taking Davo and the BBS too seriously.

I think the original post was pretty damn funny :D I mean " Win a picture of me!!!"

Steph
06-27-2008, 11:01 AM
Maybe Davo wrote a book and heīs gonna give one piece to da winner?! :D
Yes, with an autograph of an author:)
"I ♥ YOU! I fuck YOU!"

Paki7491
06-27-2008, 09:38 PM
Once upon a time i had sex with my girlfriend in her house downstairs on her couch while her parents where home, her dad walked down and caught us in the act. Greg K then said, damn kid you have a big dick, but not as big as mine. My girlfriend's dad then cut off my penis, and the offspring autographed it and sold it on ebay to help me raise money for a penis reconstruction surgery. End.

**True story, till Greg K shows up

LEOFLOYD
06-27-2008, 09:48 PM
hahahaha lol

Conspiracyof1000
06-27-2008, 09:50 PM
I say Paki7491 wins.

Ryder1234
06-27-2008, 10:58 PM
It's probably just some shitty Offspring wallpaper you made on MS Paint.

you mean like this?

http://www.offspring.com/forums/picture.php?albumid=104&pictureid=539

Conspiracyof1000
06-27-2008, 10:59 PM
Or this:
http://i243.photobucket.com/albums/ff77/coensfangirl/untitled-1.jpg
Oh that sucks...:o

Hypodermic_89
06-28-2008, 07:13 AM
you mean like this?

http://www.offspring.com/forums/picture.php?albumid=104&pictureid=539
Exactly. omglol

Budzy
06-28-2008, 06:24 PM
you mean like this?

http://www.offspring.com/forums/picture.php?albumid=104&pictureid=539

LOL that is gold!
thnx for my new wallpaper.
simplistic and yet meaningful. i like it.

Davo
07-04-2008, 06:33 AM
More stories, please. Maybe nice picture is waiting for YOU! :)

Smash punker
07-07-2008, 07:39 AM
No more stories, please :D

Budzy
07-07-2008, 07:46 AM
The Three Wise Men.

3 men walked into a bar.
What a bunch of fuckheads.

THE END

REVIEWS:
A fantastically presented story, with great wording and a wonderful morale.
10 out of 10.
-The Times

Meaningful, sad, dramatic. Clearly one of the better stories going around. Will be a best seller 'fo sho'.
11 out of 10.
-The Local Telegraph

holland25
07-07-2008, 08:15 AM
Once upon a time, one idiot bought a ticket to Rock for People to see his favourite band. He got ill the day before the festival. He hates himself.

Smash punker
07-07-2008, 08:17 AM
But thatīs a true story :D not a fantasy or shit. You won! :D

Stylie
07-07-2008, 08:21 AM
Hahah, that one was actually good. ^^

Drafan
07-07-2008, 10:46 AM
Once upon a time there was a band called The Offspring. They tossed out guitar picks to the crowd, with offspring-ish artwork on it.

Amen! You win. But the price is not valuable.

Davo
07-08-2008, 05:34 AM
Nobody wins, yet!!! More stories, please.

Rooster
07-08-2008, 06:46 AM
one day there was a lunatic, called Raptor88. He went to check his e-mail box, to see if he got any new mail. He read a few new mails, and then he almost had a heart attack. He opened an e-mail from a music store, only to find out that THE STORE FINALLY GOT RFRG ALMOST A MONTH AFTER IT'S RELEASE! He couldn't believe his eyes and immediately ordered the CD, which should arrive this thursday, or maybe even tomorrow. And he lived happily ever after.

Damn, i can't believe that you dumbfuckz actually read this piece of crap story, although it's based on true events...

Gustavo
07-08-2008, 07:13 AM
Once upon a time there was a kid who liked to visit The Offspring's official forums, then he saw this topic and got a little bit confused and still he doesn't understand what's going on :)

Bipolar Bear
07-08-2008, 11:11 AM
A valve decides? Noodles cracks his teenage under the household. My linguistic autumn pours Dexter inside the told therapy. Noodles companions Dexter. Dexter bounces on top of Noodles. Why won't Noodles offend his finished tongue? How does the grave assert a culture? Dexter chops the according myth after the rampant conflict. Dexter threatens the guideline. The drinking conflict queries an experimental bulb. Dexter boils near the provocative dive. Should Noodles abort? A package envisages Dexter. Dexter suspects opposite Noodles. The wisdom shifts next to the mother. Noodles slashes the code. Why does Dexter pump before the unavailable seventh? The ashcan rules! A monkey breaks Dexter next to the poke.

F@ BANKZ
07-08-2008, 01:27 PM
Story about The Offspring?

You gotta keep 'em separated.

Davo
07-17-2008, 05:16 AM
I am reminding you to write stories about The Offspring.;)

I am very :eek: that thare are so many stories. :D

Blitzkrieg Bop
07-17-2008, 05:31 AM
Davo ... Are you ever going to let the cat out of the bag and let us in on your little secret ;)

Sam The Shadow
07-17-2008, 08:22 AM
Five years of waiting. My god, i was lost in the paraller. I have made my choices and I have lived by them. Like Half-Truism said, "and if we donīt make it alive, itīs a hell of a good day to die". And I did and I was. Never I was pushed aside as much as I was. But thank god Trust in you came along. I found my soulmate, my precious, my home and my wife. Indeed, the forest life might scare a few people, but we managed to survive. We went far, like Youīre gonna go far, kid. My mother did not told me this when I was a young boy but to my child, I will. After the invasion of maggots we had to make a choice. To be or be beaten. We chose Hammerhead. Like a hammer on our muscles we hammered down some ground rules for the people and only for the people. The destruction was long before forgotten and made itīs debut. A lot like me, it was centered on the world crisis. I was Him and Him was I. We argued all the time, everywhere and nothing was captured. Unfortunately for the camera. With the picture in my hand I knew it would takes me nowhere. But where i asked. Nobody told me, so i was rejected for the application. I was mad and pissed of to the world. It reminded me of my childhood and my neighbour, Kristy. Are you doing Ok, I asked her all the time becouse she was a sad girl. I donīt think I saw her smiling, not even once. But she was my friend and I cared for her. At the age of 10, Kristy moved with her family to another town. After that, my life became boring. I realised that Kristy was my only friend. This town, this Nothingtown was filled with egos that i just did not liked. All the pretty boys and girls that hanged around each others. I was a reject. Stuff is messed up, i wrote on the local newspaper. I wanted to become a journalist and go around the world. To be famous, rich and to find Kristy, my lovely Kristy. The newspaper send me an answer to home. It said, "thanks for writeing us about the stuff is messed, sadly it will not be published. It had too many scrooge loose, like in youīr head. Thanks anyway...LOSER". I wish I could fix you and I wish you could fix me. I was crying. What was wrong with. Why all my dreams were crashed. Why, Oh why. I went home and straight to my fathers beer bottle. Letīs hear for hard rock bottom, i said. It was disgusting but i had to take another one. I felt my inside wanting to come out. I wanted to feel pain. I took another sip and then it exploded. I was laying on the kitchen floor. Blood came through my mouth. I was looking the broken bottle next to me. My life, Rise and Fall, Kristy...Oh Kristy, why did you had to go. We could have been something together. We could have made it. Itīs all your fault. This is all your fault, Kristy. You made me. Becouse of you I am like this. But I still love you. Next day the newspaper made a story about a tragedy in the town. I guess I finally made it. I was the story for that day...The Offspring - Rise and Fall, Rage and Grace 10/10...RoCCCk...CaRRRamba

holland25
08-10-2008, 03:48 AM
I win.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQq97eDJ-Gk

Period.

Rooster
08-10-2008, 04:16 AM
I win.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQq97eDJ-Gk

Period.

HAHAHA :D

The legends of excessive drinking...

Blitzkrieg Bop
08-10-2008, 05:18 AM
I win.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQq97eDJ-Gk

Period.

ROFL ... What can I say that I haven't said before :D

Free?
08-10-2008, 06:28 AM
I win.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQq97eDJ-Gk

Period.

LMAO, EPIC!

SK8rocka
08-11-2008, 01:33 AM
Once upon a time, Greg K used to talk.

Hahahaha

once apon a time, dexter had dreads, then he didnt, now his hair is medium.
then pretty much nothin else

SK8rocka
08-11-2008, 01:37 AM
When I saw the thread title, I read it out loud in Strongbad's voice from the early emails.


YES! YES!! Homestar runner lives on.
TROGDOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rutegard
08-11-2008, 06:47 AM
Hahahaha

once apon a time, dexter had dreads, then he didnt, now his hair is medium.
then pretty much nothin else

ahahahahaha

excellent!!

nice bed story :D

Davo
09-29-2008, 10:01 AM
You have last opportunity to write some story, then I will publish the winner. ;)

holland25
09-29-2008, 11:08 AM
And what if we don't want to know the winner?

mrs_hollandova
09-29-2008, 11:09 AM
And what if we don't want to know the winner?

Hehe, like the winner of Hammerhead video contest :p

Cock Joke
09-29-2008, 08:29 PM
You have last opportunity to write some story, then I will publish the winner. ;)

One day, in a far away land, Dexter Holland was walking around, when all of a sudden...he saw...A UNICORN! The unicorn said "OMG UR FROM TEH BACKSTREET BOIZ!!!" Then Dexter said "STFU N00B! IM FROM TEH OFFSPRNGZ N DONT U 4GET IT!"

Dexter kicked the unicorn in the gonads and it ran off crying. All of a sudden Ron Welty came along and was like, "LOL HAI! CAN I JOIN TEH BAND AGAIN!?" And Dex was like, "UUUUUUUUUUUH OTAY!!!" They skipped along the wide open field holding hands and singing "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go." Pete came along and was like "OMG WTF U CANT LET HIM BACK IN BCUZ IM TEH DRUMMER NOW!" "OH SHIT!" said Dexter, "WE'LL HAVE A FIGHT TO DA DEATH!"

Ron and Pete started slapping each other and Gerg (His name will be Gerg in this) said "LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL U CAN BOTH BE DRUMMERZ!" They all celebrated as they danced like fairies and shouted like morons. Noodles came with a six pack of beer and was like "LMAO DONT TELL NE1 ROFL!" Then Dexter said "You know you don't have to be sneaky when buying us alcohol anymore, Noodles, we're old enough now."


-The End-

offspringing
09-30-2008, 12:50 AM
http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q105/labelwhores_photos/gaythread2.jpg

Grimesy da Offspringfan
09-30-2008, 01:56 AM
http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q105/labelwhores_photos/gaythread2.jpg

LOL!!! XDXD

Stylie
09-30-2008, 03:04 PM
http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q105/labelwhores_photos/gaythread2.jpg

Hahahahha! :D

Cock Joke
09-30-2008, 03:37 PM
http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q105/labelwhores_photos/gaythread2.jpg

lololololololololololololololol!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Budzy
10-01-2008, 06:38 AM
http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q105/labelwhores_photos/gaythread2.jpg

LMFAO
saved.

Davo
10-03-2008, 05:06 AM
Congratulation, Cock Joke!
You are the winner!


One day, in a far away land, Dexter Holland was walking around, when all of a sudden...he saw...A UNICORN! The unicorn said "OMG UR FROM TEH BACKSTREET BOIZ!!!" Then Dexter said "STFU N00B! IM FROM TEH OFFSPRNGZ N DONT U 4GET IT!"

Dexter kicked the unicorn in the gonads and it ran off crying. All of a sudden Ron Welty came along and was like, "LOL HAI! CAN I JOIN TEH BAND AGAIN!?" And Dex was like, "UUUUUUUUUUUH OTAY!!!" They skipped along the wide open field holding hands and singing "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go." Pete came along and was like "OMG WTF U CANT LET HIM BACK IN BCUZ IM TEH DRUMMER NOW!" "OH SHIT!" said Dexter, "WE'LL HAVE A FIGHT TO DA DEATH!"

Ron and Pete started slapping each other and Gerg (His name will be Gerg in this) said "LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL U CAN BOTH BE DRUMMERZ!" They all celebrated as they danced like fairies and shouted like morons. Noodles came with a six pack of beer and was like "LMAO DONT TELL NE1 ROFL!" Then Dexter said "You know you don't have to be sneaky when buying us alcohol anymore, Noodles, we're old enough now."


-The End-


Here is your award:

http://www.offspring.com/forums/picture.php?albumid=171&pictureid=1176

holland25
10-03-2008, 05:16 AM
I'm so proud I didn't win...

Free?
10-03-2008, 05:18 AM
Yeppp, I have to agree with some Slovak people on this forum and say "DAVO SUCKS". A very predictable shitty reward and a longtime, several times bumped by it's starter thread, fail.

Davo
10-03-2008, 05:25 AM
Don't worry holland25.
Your story is on the second place!


Once upon a time, one idiot bought a ticket to Rock for People to see his favourite band. He got ill the day before the festival. He hates himself.

Your Award:

http://www.offspring.com/forums/picture.php?albumid=104&pictureid=539

Sponsored by Ryder1234.

Davo
10-03-2008, 05:27 AM
Yeppp, I have to agree with some Slovak people on this forum and say "DAVO SUCKS". A very predictable shitty reward and a longtime, several times bumped by it's starter thread, fail.

Unfortunately, everyone can't win. :(

Zee
10-03-2008, 11:31 AM
Dei-vouu! Fuck the Hammerhead contest, this one was better. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to enter this one, but I'm sure the master Davo will come out with something else.

dff_punk
10-03-2008, 11:41 AM
Dei-vouu! Fuck the Hammerhead contest, this one was better. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to enter this one, but I'm sure the master Davo will come out with something else.

Don't ever say anything like that twice!

Cock Joke
10-03-2008, 03:34 PM
iwoniwoniwoniwoniwon!!!!!

Ryder1234
10-03-2008, 03:52 PM
Holland25 be proud you got second, cause you won my picture! Is better.

Steph
11-29-2008, 04:45 PM
Well, finally, after some five months of pitched battle :Dwe have the winners

Davo
11-29-2008, 05:16 PM
Yes, Cock Joke is the best!!!

Cock Joke
11-29-2008, 09:56 PM
Yes, Cock Joke is the best!!!

You rock, amigo!

SK8rocka
11-29-2008, 10:37 PM
Cock joke rulz,

here is celebration

http://www.sexyemilie.com/?id=103320

Cock Joke
11-29-2008, 11:08 PM
Cock joke rulz,

here is celebration

http://www.sexyemilie.com/?id=103320

Hahahaha! We gotta click that about several more times so we can get more photos of her!