View Full Version : Happy birthday, AMERICA!

07-04-2008, 09:16 AM
This is ouuuuuur cooooountry.

07-04-2008, 09:22 AM
But...I declared it communist-punching day weeks ago.

Anyway, happy birthday! I'm gonna celebrate by eating way too much.

Mota Boy
07-04-2008, 09:25 AM
Today I will declare my independence from sobriety.

/After marching in the local 4th of July parade, of course.

07-04-2008, 09:26 AM
How about making it punch a communist while drinking bourbon and eating fried chicken day?
Hell yeah! Let's set things on fire, too, just to be sure.

The Search Button
07-04-2008, 09:37 AM
1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America.....do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

Happy birthday crazy puritan infidels!!!

07-04-2008, 09:43 AM
It wouldn't quite be America Day without 8-year-old e-mail jokes.

All hail the U.S. of A.!

07-04-2008, 09:46 AM
God bless America.


07-04-2008, 09:55 AM
Happy birthday America! I can't afford a country at this moment in time so I got you a smilie: :)

Rag Doll
07-04-2008, 11:41 AM
i'm celebrating with copious amounts of alcohol and beer pong. woo.

happy birthday, let freedom ring, blah blah blah...

you should've posted the pic of mark bryan 420 with sean hannity.

07-04-2008, 12:17 PM
That was Sean Hannity? I don't think I ever realized that.

07-04-2008, 12:48 PM
yay! happy birthday2u!


i'm celebrating by getting blasted, eating popcorn, cotton candy and popsicles in unholy amounts, and then watching fireworks from my rooftop (that is, if they're visible from here... but they should be!)

07-04-2008, 01:41 PM
Oh yeah, that reminds me: Canada Day was 3 days ago. Woops.

07-04-2008, 01:53 PM
Here's a touching little tribute to AMERICA, courtesy of the Muppets:

07-04-2008, 02:24 PM
A great man once said ...

America is the greatest, best country God ever gave man.

Only a godless commie would argue against that.

07-04-2008, 02:26 PM
America, fuck yeah. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWS-FoXbjVI) Coming again to save the motherfuckin' day yeah!

07-04-2008, 02:38 PM
Does AMERICA receive a hawt Endymionphoto too?

07-04-2008, 04:23 PM

07-05-2008, 03:18 AM
Happy 4th of jew-lie!

ps: yes, that is a hannah montana keychain sticking out of my pocket:

07-05-2008, 03:20 AM
Some girls get all the fuck.

07-05-2008, 09:14 AM
This year, I beat my slaves to celebrate the holiday.

07-05-2008, 09:22 AM
I am not slave.

07-05-2008, 12:20 PM
no no, his penis is referred to as "slaves"

07-05-2008, 04:47 PM
You are penis.

07-05-2008, 04:50 PM
As long as it's an American penis, we should have no problem with it.

Yes I realize that it's no longer July 4, but I'm declaring Manifest Destiny on the whole weekend.

Cock Joke
07-05-2008, 06:31 PM
All I wanna say is yesterday was the best "America Day" ever!!!