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Lodat225
07-13-2008, 07:17 PM
... Aheaheadedaedae

Jakebert
07-13-2008, 07:22 PM
You got a girl pregnant?

Little_Miss_1565
07-13-2008, 07:22 PM
It's not okay to be with someone under false pretenses, so he needs to be honest with his girlfriend. However, your friend might also be attracted to this new girl because he's afraid of the new responsibilities he'll have with the kid on the way and not really because he's genuinely in lurve. Regardless of what your friend ends up doing, your friend is obligated to do the right thing by the mother of his child and by the child.

Llamas
07-13-2008, 07:37 PM
Your friend also needs to learn from his mistakes. He probably knew it wasn't a good idea to risk getting a teenager pregnant, but he did anyway. If he ends up dating the new girl, or anyway ends up leaving the girl who's having his baby, he needs to not allow himself to repeat this mess.

And yes, 1565 is correct. He needs to do what the mother needs him to do no matter what.

Little_Miss_1565
07-13-2008, 07:45 PM
He needs to do what the mother needs him to do no matter what.

That isn't quite what I said. By do the right thing I mean share responsibility for the kid, both financially and in terms of time and childcare.

Endymion
07-13-2008, 07:49 PM
i read the first post, none of the replies, so i don't care if someone already said this:

a) it doesn't matter who your friend goes out with so long as that baby is removed ASAP.
b) i know you said no "high school crush" bullshit, but that's all it is. make sure that chick gets rid of that soon-to-be kid quickly, then it doesn't matter who your friend goes out with because it won't last.

Little_Miss_1565
07-13-2008, 07:55 PM
a) it doesn't matter who your friend goes out with so long as that baby is removed ASAP.
b) i know you said no "high school crush" bullshit, but that's all it is. make sure that chick gets ride of that soon-to-be kid quickly, then it doesn't matter who your friend goes out with because it won't last.

dude, she's 36 weeks pregnant. As in...if she hasn't popped already, she might pop in 5 minutes. Unless you mean adoption, in which case, that is generally a good option for teen parents.

Rag Doll
07-13-2008, 08:03 PM
I agree with everything 1565 said. Good luck to your friend and the girl.

Endymion
07-13-2008, 08:06 PM
dude, she's 36 weeks pregnant. As in...if she hasn't popped already, she might pop in 5 minutes. Unless you mean adoption, in which case, that is generally a good option for teen parents.

i was pretty certain that they don't perform eight and a half month abortions.

Little_Miss_1565
07-13-2008, 08:17 PM
i was pretty certain that they don't perform eight and a half month abortions.

I wasn't sure from what you said if you'd seen the part where he mentioned how far along she was.

Lodat225
07-13-2008, 08:29 PM
i read the first post, none of the replies, so i don't care if someone already said this:

a) it doesn't matter who your friend goes out with so long as that baby is removed ASAP.
b) i know you said no "high school crush" bullshit, but that's all it is. make sure that chick gets rid of that soon-to-be kid quickly, then it doesn't matter who your friend goes out with because it won't last.

Lol, seriously?

I know people who have married their High School sweetheart, even though I already graduated HS...

But if you say so ...

Jakebert
07-13-2008, 09:39 PM
Like everyone else has said, your friend has to be there for the kid in any ways needed. I don't know if that's possible to do without staying with the mother since I've never been in that situation, but if it is possible, I don't think it would make your friend as bad person as long as he does his share to raise the kid, or at least deal with the situation in a mature manner.

But yeah, this is a touchy situation. I have 2 cousins who got girls pregnant in high school, and it appears that those kids are going to be very maladjusted in the future. One of the kids hasn't seen the dad in years, and the other cousin pawns the kid off on his parents. <3 my family.

Nicole
07-13-2008, 10:21 PM
What a pickle. I think your friend needs a bit of a headcheck. Of course this other girl seems fantastic, she's a nice form of escapism and probably seems unduly perfect. Exactly like 1565 said.

Now the other point I'm going to have to make is that this girl that he's knocked up has been his friend since about forever and from what you've said is a good person, they're in a good relationship. I mean from what I can see your friend is probably learning a little early on that good things do take work and its not all about love, it's also about a shit-ton of responsibility and dealing with things you don't always want to. He got her pregnant, and it's not like she's some random hussy he met in high school, they've got a lot of history.

So I suggest your friend man up and take some responsibility because this situation is not going to go down well. This other girl is either inherently mean because she's waiting for this other dude to break up with his pregnant girlfriend to be with her, inherently stupid because who would date a guy who would dump his pregnant girlfriend for you, or just ignorant of how much her degree of friendship with him at the moment is probably unhealthy given he has a girlfriend and is falling for her.

Yes, it is terrible to stay with somebody when you're not that into them anymore. But when a girl is about to drop a kid is not the time. It's obvious the kid is coming regardless so my advice is to stick it out and wait until the birth and the first few weeks and wait and see how he feels then. With all the hormones and impending responsibility flying around the air, it is not the time to be making a decision as big as this.

Llamas
07-14-2008, 08:41 AM
That isn't quite what I said. By do the right thing I mean share responsibility for the kid, both financially and in terms of time and childcare.

That's what I meant. I probably just worded it wrong.

Anyway, I hope Lodat- I mean, Lodat's friend- will actually take the advice given this time... unlike in the past.

Oxygene
07-14-2008, 09:08 AM
I don't wanna sound mean or anything, but your friend has to do the following in my oppinion.

First off clear his head. Get away, go to the mountains or the steppe or whatever.. alone. Or with a best friend. For 3-4 days. Get hammer/stoned.. ease the pain a little. Then sober up, and do some serious thinking and talking.

Pretext:

If your friend fucks the little kids life up, because he's a cowardly pig he deserves to die. You need to take care of your kid, and sacrifice. You friend has already made his "well educated" choice, so the deal is done.

As for the girl (the mother):

During this thinking phase your friends needs to decide wether he can stick it out with this chick for atleast 20 years or not...

If not, and your friend wants to go the "new pussy" route, that's fine, but the mother needs to be told NOW.

You don't have a whole lot of time.

As for adoption.. that's a tough call. It's better than the kids life going down the shitter, BUT it'll scar everyone (including the kid) for life... I think it's better to stick it out, and live up to the challange. If your friend is a decent guy, he should be able to provide and hold down a job and the kid should miss out on nothing....

Anyway what others neglected: a choice needs to be made and it needs to be made now and it needs to be final.

wheelchairman
07-14-2008, 09:29 AM
Well maybe your friend is going through a funk in his relationship and is looking at other women. He might grow out of that.

Maybe the relationship with the pregnant woman is going nowhere.

I would say the child should go up for adoption. Or what 1565 said, split the custody and financial expenses of the kid. Staying together for the kid might not help it at all.

You know what's annoying? How come your friend couldn't figure out the concept of birth control. The Western countries with the highest rates of teen pregnancy are what...Ireland and the US? Mostly due to the social (religious conservative) stigmas around pre-marital sex.

Ugh whenever I think about I realize I generally hate teen pregnancies.

Little_Miss_1565
07-14-2008, 09:38 AM
You know what's annoying? How come your friend couldn't figure out the concept of birth control. The Western countries with the highest rates of teen pregnancy are what...Ireland and the US? Mostly due to the social (religious conservative) stigmas around pre-marital sex.

Ugh whenever I think about I realize I generally hate teen pregnancies.

Gotta agree with you here. There's just no reason for it at all. It's so easy to prevent pregnancy.

Lodat225
07-14-2008, 09:57 AM
Yeah, I know. My friend was stupid, I guess. He did pull out and he thought nothing was going to happen. Either pulling out didn't work, or somebody else impregnated. The latter which I highly doubt.

My friend and his girlfriend have thought about adoption the whole time. They think it's cute to raise a kid but adoption is the only option. They don't have the financial necessities or maturity to raise this kid. They have both been accepted to decent universities and taking care of this kid would ruin everything. She was planning on going to California to study but ... if we keep the kid, I don't see how that's an option.

And my friend's going to think about what most of you have said ..

Little_Miss_1565
07-14-2008, 10:01 AM
Yeah, I know. My friend was stupid, I guess. He did pull out and he thought nothing was going to happen. Either pulling out didn't work, or somebody else impregnated. The latter which I highly doubt.

*screams*

When they say use two forms of birth control every time, they do not including pulling out and prayer. PULLING OUT DOESN'T WORK. IT. DOESN'T. WORK. Your friend is in a prison of his own design and I hope he realizes that.


My friend and his girlfriend have thought about adoption the whole time. They think it's cute to raise a kid but adoption is the only option. They don't have the financial necessities or maturity to raise this kid.

Cuteness and the romantic notion of raising a kid is a terrible reason and I think you've made the case for them putting the kid up for adoption already.

Rag Doll
07-14-2008, 10:32 AM
My boyfriend's friend got a girl pregnant by pulling out. He had just finished bragging to all his friends, "god, why use condoms?! it doesn't feel as good. i just pull out and it's fine!"....all the while, that egg was a-growing and a-growing in his then girlfriend's uterus.

i definitely think adoption would be a good idea for your friend and his lady. and then once that is taken care of, see what happens. a pregnancy when you aren't ready for it can definitely, uh, take the spark out of a relationship, i guess. but wait and see once everything goes down, don't run off just because of this other girl. like what was said before, she may only seem so great because she isn't pregnant.

Endymion
07-14-2008, 10:52 AM
if we keep the kid

come on man, you almost didn't slip up.

also, why wasn't the coat hanger tango an option seven months ago?

KyleW
07-14-2008, 07:32 PM
They think it's cute to raise a kid

This really scared me.

Seriously though anyone who thinks its cute to rasie a kid really needs to consider adoption or some form of getting rid of it because trying to raise it if you think its cute just wont work.

Bipolar Bear
07-14-2008, 09:16 PM
My boyfriend's friend got a girl pregnant by pulling out. He had just finished bragging to all his friends, "god, why use condoms?! it doesn't feel as good. i just pull out and it's fine!"....all the while, that egg was a-growing and a-growing in his then girlfriend's uterus.

i definitely think adoption would be a good idea for your friend and his lady. and then once that is taken care of, see what happens. a pregnancy when you aren't ready for it can definitely, uh, take the spark out of a relationship, i guess. but wait and see once everything goes down, don't run off just because of this other girl. like what was said before, she may only seem so great because she isn't pregnant.

Wow that really makes you think twice, doesn't it. Is there any risk for pregnancy amongst gay couples because I've pulled out of Cock Joke :eek:

OffspringFreakess
07-14-2008, 09:32 PM
They have both been accepted to decent universities and taking care of this kid would ruin everything.




then your friend should've thought about that before this happened. and like littlemiss1565 said, it doesn't work!


i myself am a result of a teenage pregnancy, and my parents admitted to me they considered adoption or abortion, but they quickly decided that i was worth it and they both turned out a-okay. both of my parents have great jobs and live in nice homes with no college experience (sad they're not together anymore, but they were high school sweethearts). so it doesn't always turn out as bad as it seems to be. you can get by.

it's really up to them. if they want the baby and develop feelings for it (i.e.- she gets excited when the baby kicks and they have an emotional moment) and she WANTS to be a mother, then they should keep it. but if they want nothing to do with it and have thought about giving it up for adoption 36 weeks in the pregnancy, then they should give it away. it's not fair to their child if it has been unwanted the whole time.

good luck to them, though. i'm sure it'll work out in the end for them.

adombomb222
07-14-2008, 10:44 PM
Did anyone else know that Lodat and a penis? Oh I mean Lodat's friend?

HornyPope
07-15-2008, 08:37 AM
You don't really have a lot of choice. If you're the father, you're going to have to support the kid one way or another so it's best you tie the knot for good and stick with that role. Having another girlfriend on the side is just waaaay too expensive at your age and time. I'm not saying you shouldn't fuck her if you're into that kind of stuff, but quit the relationship bullshit.

nameless
07-16-2008, 02:53 PM
hes must take responsibility for the child. seeing as he has known her for so long, id say stay with her as they obviously have something good going!

wheelchairman
07-16-2008, 03:56 PM
Ultimately it's his decision which he'll balance on more factors than we're aware of. It's a question of how good a parent can you be as a teen to how good a parent can you be for an orphan?

ad8
07-17-2008, 10:38 AM
Hm... this will probably sound harsh to you, but this is what I think: In my opinion, it will be hard to raise the kid in a normal way. The financial problems combined with the maturity thing will have an impact on the childs character. If your friend and his gf don't do their best to raise the kid well then it will have (psychic) scars that might ruin his life. So it's all about making up for the big mistake now. There is no ideal solution any more. The ideal solution would have been avoiding the child before she was pregnant.

Btw, I think I'll always ask myself why men don't use condoms and why women don't use the pill if their boyfriends have not used condoms. I mean, there is enough educational advertising and stuff. Men and women should both have interests to not get her pregnant/get pregnant(except he is just an asshole and leaves her after making her pregnant), so why the fuck?