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Rutegard
09-11-2008, 01:38 PM
alright guys

this is for all of you out there...

i'm gonna post those that have already been posted (greg and dex (part I and II)),

and in collaboration with another portuguese girl (selF_LexA), we shall post some more from now on...

is that cool enough?


(well, mainly this is because noodles can't stay without a story about him and i had no place to post that one LOL)

Rutegard
09-11-2008, 01:39 PM
Greg

one day Greg woke up and needed a shave...so he went to see Sweeney Todd, however when he realized how twisted he was, he used Sweeney's towel to smother him! (but he managed to be shaved before that)

when he left Sweeney Todd's place he realized his car has been stolen, he phoned Horation Cane, this was the conversation:
"-H?
-Oh Mr Kriesel good to hear from you, what can i do?..
- My car has been stolen..
- Where are you?..
- Can't you just trace my call?
- Yes Sir, yes, i'm sorry...
- i won't wait too long...*hangs up*"

Horatio arrived in 4 minutes, and started immediatly to work on that case, ONLY on that case, and before Greg said something he was already on the move hunting down the jackass!

after this Greg calls Dexter, his bandmate!
"- DEXTER!! Where are you?
- home...why?
- I need your car
- what for?
- get your fat ass over here and don't ask me stupid questions?
- where are you?
- can't you trace me!?!?
- what?!? how would i do that?
- oh forget about it...i'm near Sweeney's place, by the way, that freak is dead!
- erm...ok...i'll be right there..
- hurry up i got better things to do!!!
- ok..ok..!!
- *hangs up*"

after 15 minutes Dexter arrives, Greg is mad for taking so long, Greg pushes Dexter leaving him on the ground, and take off at maximum speed!!
he drives back home, where his dog is sick! the dog presented unusual symptoms during morning time, so since we are talking about Greg's dog and not another random dog, Greg took his dog to see Dr House.

"- Hey Dr. House!
- oh what's that? your ultimate toy?
- *staring*
- nice dog you got there...what can i do for you?
- my dog's sick...
- huuuummm too bad i'm not a vet!
- i know you are an idiot!!
- what makes you think that?, is it my leg?, my miserable life?
- oh shut up, i want you to fix it!!
- i'm kinda busy you see....Cuddy decided to give me extra hours...
- i don't care, i want you to cure my dog!, you got 2 days! (Greg gives the dog to Dr House)
- HEY!! i don't even know how to care of an healthy dog!!
- that's not my problem... (looking back)
- yeah...i suppose it is not...grrr..."

Greg is driving Dexter's car, not really paying attention to the traffic neither caring about the car, when Horatio calls him

"- Mr Kriesel?
- yes Horatio...got news for me?
- hell yeah...it turns out that the guy that stole you car was Joker...
- JOKER?!?
- yes...we already spoke to Batman... we hope he's gonna catch him!
- BATMAN?!?
- yeah...do you got his number?
- of course...*hangs up*"

Greg didn't like to hear that, he hates Joker but he's not a big friend of Batman either...he decides to talk to him..

"- Hey Batman it's Greg here...
- i know who you are..i heard about your car..
- yeah that's bad...hey listen...
- yeah...
- i want Joker..
- yeah tell me!
- no seriously, i wanna catch him!
- i can help you
- NO! you freak!! i don't need help...
- hey Greg forget about it..it's just a car...
- MY car!! ya know i can't live without it...i'm driving dexter's car right now...it's so terrible ya know?...i hate this piece of metal!
- yeah....life sucks indeed...
- ok so i want you to back off ok?
- well,...it's your call, but if things go wrong don't expect me to be there and save you..
- that won't be necessary... *hangs up*"

Greg speeds...but Dexter's car won't reach high velocity so Greg starts to fell kinda grumpy, then he spots Joker, greg stops the car, and get out
they look at each other
Joker starts laughing
Greg is very serious!!

"- why so serious greg?
- oh hey Mr Joker, here let me take you this little bug you have here on your shoulder...
AND .............................................Joker 's dead!..................................."

(just like that?....hey listen...we are talking about Greg right?)

Greg gets in his car, very happy, and leave dexter's car open up and some vandals just start to tear it up!!!

after all, Greg WON!

Rutegard
09-11-2008, 01:39 PM
Dexter

PART I

“………………after Greg left Dexter on the ground……..”

Dexter gets up, he makes himself tidy (with special attention to the hair), he shakes off the dust from his pants, he looks back trying to see Greg leaving with his car, but right now Greg is too far away….

HOWEVER…. he spots someone…some group….it’s the punk gang (Raptor88, Bipolar Bear, Iamstupid, iPunk247, bighead384, Cock Joke and JohnnyNemesis)!!

Dexter waves! They approach him…

iPunk247 – II LOOOVVEEE YOU DEX!!!! (hugging him really hard)
Cock Joke- Hey Dexter!!
Bipolar Bear – ….what the hell are you doing here?
Dexter- Greg left me behind…
Bipolar Bear – ahahahah
Iamstupid – we can give you a ride!
Dexter- nah that’s ok….I’m waiting for Noodles anyway!
bighead384- Noodles is not here, didn’t you hear?
Raptor88 – yeah I guess he’s in Portugal, right?
JohnnyNemesis – whatever..come with us Dexter!!
Dexter- well, could you take me to Greg’s house?

(During all conversation iPunk247 kept staring at Dex, hardly breathing)

Dexter was thinking about some sort of revenge, however he didn’t had anything in mind yet…

And ya know how those big American houses are, right?...very cool and stuff but they look all the same! Instead of dropping Dexter in the nº 69, the driver (Bipolar Bear) left Dexter in the nº 71!! And of course…Dexter didn’t notice that!

The punk gang – Bye Dexter….
iPunk247 – BYE BYE DEXTER!! II LOOOOVVEEEE YYOOUU!!!!!
Dexter – Bye and thanks for the ride!

He was about to knock on the door when he suddenly sees this very big Rottweiller, MOMENTS OF FEAR!, Dexter starts running (too bad, we should never run) but the Rottweiller bites his leg, he screams, someone hears and appears on the door…it was yellow!

She looks to the dog and says…SHUU!! The dog leaves immediately!

yellow – are you ok?.....OH MY GOD YOU ARE DEXTER HOLLAND!!!
Dexter- Hy….autch….hey…autch autch

yellow takes him inside, where she and her friends (Shank, dr.vanessa, mrs_hollandova, lost_nvrfound, -L-; drummerbecca and Conspiracyof1000) were having this tupperware meeting at yellow’s house (number 71, remember?)

….as soon Dex walks into that door, Shanks collapses, dr.vanessa panics, mrs_hollandova starts screaming, lost_nvrfound screams even more, -L- screams very loud, drummerbecca screams even louder and Conspiracyof1000 just passed out.

Dexter starts to feel very uncomfortable and embarrassed and smiles a little bit and then blows a kiss!

After a quick recovery, Conspiracyof1000 sees that Dex is bleeding from his leg (the right one), and offers immediately help! Actually, in a matter of seconds, all these girls surrounded him!

However, some neighbour (not Greg though, he was on his move trying to get his car back) heard all the screaming and called the cops!

Police arrives, they got 4 cars and bring even more dogs!! They stop their cars, the unknown neighbour talks to them explaining he heard girls screaming from the inside of that house, and another unknown neighbour says she saw an unknown man entering into the house!!

The cops tear down the door and see Dex with 8 girls around him all covered in blood! He looks very scared, the girls look very confusing and tired, and some of them are trying to catch their breath.....

Rutegard
09-11-2008, 01:40 PM
Dexter

PART II

He’s arrested and the girls are taken into the hospital for a check up. They are in so bad shape that can’t even talk to explain the situation, Dex tries though but no one believes him!

While at the police station, Dex makes his phone call, he calls to Tijs!

Dexter- hey Tijs, it’s Dexter here….
Tijs – hey how are you?
Dexter – well….i’ve been better…
Tijs - what happened?
Dexter – long story…Listen, I need you to call Noodles and tell him to pick me up at police station ok?
Tijs – I’m sorry dude…Noodles is not here..
Dexter – where is he?
Tijs - he’s in Portugal, surfing with the Portuguese gang and Oxygene and RGR22!

((Small note, the Portuguese gang is: Redjie; m.offspring.r; RonWelty; The Search Button and selF_LexA!))

Dexter – Fuck!...
Tijs – relax…I’ll call Blitzkrieg Bop!
Dexter – ok thanks, bye..
Tijs - bye!


Blitzkrieg Bop arrives the police station (no clue how she got there, neither how she knew exactly where to go) to pick up Dex. He thanked her. They hug each other….in a sweet way. She looks seriously at him, and then he says “a dog bitten me…”. He asks her to leave him at his house.


Dex is alone again. He just knows what to do, a few years ago he invented something like a GPS, but in a more sophisticated way, so sophisticated that he is the only person that knows how to work with that!! He installed one in his car, he starts to press some buttons (we will never understand that black science), now he just knows the exact location of his car. He drives. (he has more than 1 car ya know?)


When he arrives, he sees the horrific picture of his car broken into small pieces! Luckily Jojan, SpLinteR, jacknife737, holland25 and medi01 were there, and they managed to save 2 wheels and this rear view mirror. Dex thanked them…


After this Dex is really mad and sad, he drives back to Nitro Records, they are having a party over there! A birthday party!
Dex arrives just in time to eat the cake. (it’s Stylie, Capricorn4 and Nitro Punk’s birthday – they are twins!) He wants to give them a nice present, however the only thing he has with him are the 2 wheels and the mirror… Stylie, Capricorn4 and Nitro Punk loved the presents!!


Dex has some spare time and he sits next to some good friends of him (The_Noose, offspring_freak_3, Free?, disclaimer_07, cool 2 hate 681, Sofinch, iGustavo, Szandi, Camilamazed, and Drafan) to talk about whatever! They chat for 3 hours!

It’s night now, Greg arrives and sees Dex. They take a good look at each other, like lions before the fight!

Greg approaches and sits next to Dex. No one talks for a few mintues, until Greg starts talking in a very peaceful way…

Greg- you won’t believe the twisted day I just had…
Dexter – oh yeah?...try me! (saying this while revealing his right leg….)


------------------------------------that’s all folks---------------------------------------


I’m sorry if your nickname is not on this story, and I’m also sorry if it is

selF_LexA
09-11-2008, 02:01 PM
Yeah, we'll be posting the continuation here from now on, and if any of you wants to contact Steven Spielberg or somthing to turn 'em into a movie, go for it!:D Just kidding, contact Tim Burton

drummerbecca
09-11-2008, 02:02 PM
Yaaaaay! :D

Conspiracyof1000
09-11-2008, 02:03 PM
I’m sorry if your nickname is not on this story, and I’m also sorry if it is

Why are you sorry if you included it? This is great! :D

dr.vanessa
09-11-2008, 02:26 PM
hey u promised me girl Ruty......;):D

Rutegard
09-12-2008, 03:02 AM
Why are you sorry if you included it? This is great! :D


ahha i was kidding


hey u promised me girl Ruty......;):D

:D i know...just wait and see




BY THE WAY!!

don't any of you want to write something down too!??!

seriously!!!

Blitzkrieg Bop
09-12-2008, 04:15 AM
This is a great idea, looking forward to more stories :D

Rutegard
09-12-2008, 04:27 AM
This is a great idea, looking forward to more stories :D

you can start writing too :D :D

yellow
09-12-2008, 05:20 AM
great story. lol and smiling

Blitzkrieg Bop
09-12-2008, 06:32 AM
you can start writing too :D :D

Remember our agreement:

Me, the idea person
You, the talent :D

Rutegard
09-12-2008, 06:35 AM
Remember our agreement:

Me, the idea person
You, the talent :D

HHAAH

mmaaannnn
you always have something to say uh?...

what a smart kid you must have been throughout your childhood :D

Blitzkrieg Bop
09-12-2008, 06:37 AM
HHAAH

mmaaannnn
you always have something to say uh?...

what a smart kid you must have been throughout your childhood :D

Hahahaha

This is quoted as the truth - 100% :D

Rutegard
09-12-2008, 06:39 AM
Hahahaha

This is quoted as the truth - 100% :D

parent's nightmare AHAHAH


well.... the noodles part might take a while...cause i've been sleeping quite well these past few nights eheheh

Blitzkrieg Bop
09-12-2008, 06:42 AM
Just take you time and post when it is ready, I'll only bug you once in a while about this :)

What do you mean: parent's nightmare :D

dr.vanessa
09-12-2008, 07:30 AM
what's goin' on here?:confused::p

Rutegard
09-12-2008, 07:32 AM
what's goin' on here?:confused::p

we are waiting for the next story to come....about noods this time :D

Blitzkrieg Bop
09-12-2008, 07:35 AM
what's goin' on here?:confused::p

It's called passing the time :D

On Topic: Story about Noodles coming soon ;)

KHWHD
09-12-2008, 07:37 AM
Ok, so this isn't an actual story. I had a dream last night, but only Dexter and Pete were in it. I only remember bits and pieces cause I woke up... dammnit!

I was with someone (maybe my sis?) And we were at a small plaza, kind of like the one across the street from my house. We went to walk around the corner and we almost walked into Pete. I remember yelling at my sister to run home and get my camera... lol. I remember Pete sitting down in a chair (like a patio one) outside. Then as he sat, I guess he pee'd his pants a little bit and was laughing about it. Then I went to walk around the corner again and there was Dexter. I just stood there looking at him and my eyes started filling up with tears. Then I woke up. :(

Rutegard
09-12-2008, 07:41 AM
Ok, so this isn't an actual story. I had a dream last night, but only Dexter and Pete were in it. I only remember bits and pieces cause I woke up... dammnit!

I was with someone (maybe my sis?) And we were at a small plaza, kind of like the one across the street from my house. We went to walk around the corner and we almost walked into Pete. I remember yelling at my sister to run home and get my camera... lol. I remember Pete sitting down in a chair (like a patio one) outside. Then as he sit, I guess he pee'd his pants a little bit and was laughing about it. Then I went to walk around the corner again and there was Dexter. I just stood there looking at him and my eyes started filling up with tears. Then I woke up. :(

WOW

big emotion huh? :D

Biggest offspring fan
09-12-2008, 08:05 AM
Great Rutegard !

Rutegard
09-12-2008, 08:15 AM
Great Rutegard !

thanks

well, do you wanna write about pete? :D

go for it, seriously :D

randman21
09-12-2008, 09:49 AM
Hehe, I just read the Greg one and enjoyed it. But before I go on, I'm wondering what the heck is going on here. :confused: Did I miss something? How did the whole story thing start?

lost_nvrfound
09-12-2008, 09:56 AM
It started in the whole Greg K is a badass thread if i'm not mistaken.

We can't start on our own stories until you finish yours rutegard!

This whole thing soo reminds me of that episode of the simpsons, where bart gets in trouble with the mob, marge steals a car, lisa misses the science fair (oh no!) and homer gets his thumb cut off...my favorite episode.

iPunk247
09-13-2008, 05:50 AM
yet another wicked killer story by none other then teh one and only beautiful author RUTEGARD.

in another note: there's already a dream about the offspring thread but mines are all lol
totally sexual ones and twisted ones and emotional ones and happy camper ones.

Free?
09-13-2008, 07:23 AM
I was with someone (maybe my sis?) And we were at a small plaza, kind of like the one across the street from my house. We went to walk around the corner and we almost walked into Pete. I remember yelling at my sister to run home and get my camera... lol. I remember Pete sitting down in a chair (like a patio one) outside. Then as he sat, I guess he pee'd his pants a little bit and was laughing about it. Then I went to walk around the corner again and there was Dexter. I just stood there looking at him and my eyes started filling up with tears. Then I woke up. :(

Pete pee'd. I can certainly see a connection ;) . Peed Parada :D What a wonderful dream :), typical combination of nonsense, like dreams use to be.

Rutegard
09-13-2008, 07:37 AM
It started in the whole Greg K is a badass thread if i'm not mistaken.

We can't start on our own stories until you finish yours rutegard!

This whole thing soo reminds me of that episode of the simpsons, where bart gets in trouble with the mob, marge steals a car, lisa misses the science fair (oh no!) and homer gets his thumb cut off...my favorite episode.


yeah it started because one night i couldn't sleep and i thought about it...then i wrote it...then i posted it...and ppl even seemed to enjoy!! great thing :D


huuuuuum ok ok -...i'll write this one about noodles :D (he stills in portugal surfing ahahah) then you can write yours :D (just gimme some time...)


and i remember that episode :D i loved it

Rutegard
09-13-2008, 07:38 AM
yet another wicked killer story by none other then teh one and only beautiful author RUTEGARD.

in another note: there's already a dream about the offspring thread but mines are all lol
totally sexual ones and twisted ones and emotional ones and happy camper ones.

did ya know that rutegard is my dog?! eeheh.....

Free?
09-13-2008, 05:06 PM
did ya know that rutegard is my dog?! eeheh.....

Whoa! We all thought that you are a genius dog! I'm shocked, that was totally 100% unexpected, Dam, I was soo sure... I even wanted to offer you a nice bone... :))))))))))))))))) 8===8

iPunk247
09-13-2008, 05:25 PM
did ya know that rutegard is my dog?! eeheh.....

RUTEGARD ROx me Sox!!!! give ur dog my bone lolololol

Ryder1234
09-13-2008, 06:12 PM
In the noodles one, you should include the band taking revenge on Ron for leaving. (include me! :D)

Rutegard
09-14-2008, 06:49 AM
Whoa! We all thought that you are a genius dog! I'm shocked, that was totally 100% unexpected, Dam, I was soo sure... I even wanted to offer you a nice bone... :))))))))))))))))) 8===8

ehehehehehehe


In the noodles one, you should include the band taking revenge on Ron for leaving. (include me! :D)


well...let's see about that lol

Rutegard
09-18-2008, 11:20 AM
NOODLES

PART I

So here we are back in Portugal...that small country that stays right between Spain and Atlantic Ocean!

Let’s just focus now on this not-so-fancy Hotel room where Noodles is doing some crazy phone conversation while laughing his ass off!

He hangs up; clearly you can see a smile on his face; he puts his yellow, orange and green Aloha shirt on and a necklace with a small surf board (a red one). He’s ready to surf!

While leaving the hotel, he throws some guitar picks (of course with offspring-ish artwork on them) over the balcony but the housekeeper yelled at him, so he has to pick all of them.

He hears someone behind him…

dr.vanessa – I’d love to have some of those…
Noodles – “looks back”…
dr.vanessa – Hey!
Noodles – Hey great! How are you? (giving a kiss and everything – just the way he is)
dr.vanessa – Eh I’m fine, thanks for asking, you?
Noodles – I’m about to surf, wanna come?
dr.vanessa – No thanks I have an exam…
Noodles – Ok, good luck then! Take care!
dr.vanessa – You too Noodles, nice to meet ya! Love you!
Noodles – “waving a lot”

Noodles is on the beach right now. It’s a hot and sunny day, very paradisiacal actually! He’s about to take off his Aloha shirt when two guys (one holding a camera) approach him!

Reporter – Good Morning, I’m Mike, you are Noodles right?
Noodles – Erm yeah….I am…..
Reporter – “makes signs to the cameraman”
Noodles - How can I help you?
Reporter – Yeah we are from Extreme Sports channel and we are here to record your day!

(you might be asking what’s wrong with me…well…I saw the other day some guys doing this surf trip on the Extreme Sports channel, and one of the guy was known as Noodles eheheh)

Noodles – Why? My day? How come? No one told me anything about it!
Reporter – “makes more weird signs to the cameraman” Listen all I know is that I have to get on tape Noodles’ day for this surf trip that is going to be aired at the Extreme Sports channel…
Noodles - I’m afraid I am not the person you are looking for..
Reporter - Oh really? How many surfer named Noodles do you know? Huh? Yeah I thought so..”he smiles while making some even more weird signs to the cameraman”
Noodles – I’m telling you, I play in a band, I’m a guitarist, I got nothing to do with that channel!
Reporter – Listen, all I know is that I have to get on tape Noodles’ day for this surf trip that is going to be aired at the Extreme Sports channel……
Noodles – I know! You already said that!
Reporter – “looks back at the camera and smiles”
Noodles - Just leave me alone

Noodles starts walking but those guys just won’t go away. So he runs! He runs a lot! He passes trough this esplanade and manages to take a beer from someone’s table, ya know, for some extra energy! He runs even more. Then he stops and looks back just to make sure the other guys are really far away from him! He takes a deep breath!

While standing there, trying to recover from the marathon, he looks up and sees this small plane with a message attached to its tail, it reads “NOODLES AND BEANS. TONIGHT. BEHIND BUDWEISER.”


....
EDIT: gotta thank Blitzkrieg Bop for all the support on this one too :D

m.offspring.r
09-18-2008, 01:08 PM
nice story...

So... Where is the story with Pete Parada?

lost_nvrfound
09-18-2008, 03:20 PM
geeze! let her finish the noodles story first! :rolleyes:

Ryder1234
09-18-2008, 03:45 PM
Plz involve me! :D

Rutegard
09-19-2008, 02:55 AM
that was a very small part wasn't it? LOL

AAHHA cool

next part in 8 hours? maybe?

Blitzkrieg Bop
09-19-2008, 04:29 AM
next part in 8 hours? maybe?

Not maybe, definately :p

dff_punk
09-19-2008, 04:45 AM
I kinda liked this Noodles one so far.

Rutegard
09-19-2008, 06:09 AM
I kinda liked this Noodles one so far.

this is so uninteresting...really...i shouldn't have divided like this..

SORRY i just couldn't wait...

PART II


He totally gets the message. It’s Dexter for sure making some plans for that night, behind Budweiser warehouse! He’s just not sure who the hell Beans is….
He knows Dexter is coming because he spoke to Greg this morning and he was told Dexter was flying to Portugal. Noodles thinks Dexter is really a great guy, always having cool parties and stuff. He can’t wait!

Meanwhile, he manages to surf a little bit, while drinking lots of wine. He even sees a big Rottweiler with its owner.

Noodles - These dogs are great…
Owner - Yes they are, this one is very nice!
Noodles – “he was about to cuddle it but then he remembers what happened with Dexter…”
Owner - That’s ok…she won’t bite!
Noodles - Yeah it’s just that I have a friend who was bitten by a Rottweiler..
Owner - That’s bad…probably the dog just didn’t like him, ya know how animals behave.
Noodles – “ he laughs and leaves”

It’s around 8:00 pm and Noodles is on his way to the Budweiser warehouse. He just can’t wait to tell everyone the weird day he has just had.

Everything is quiet but there are some guys in the back, he’s not really sure who they are because it’s night time and he can hardly see. He tries to approach but he’s rapidly throw down by someone. In a matter of minutes he’s inside some warehouse (too bad it’s not the Budweiser’s he thinks). He knocks on the door ordering to be let go. Some big guy with a gun opens the door and tells him to be quiet in a very rude way!

Noodles is now a hostage of the Italian Mafia. He thinks that this scene is so surreal! It’s not that uncommon, weird stuff has happened to him but not this weird! No, sir!

He decides to sit down and wait, there’s nothing he can do about it. He almost laughs at that not so friendly-Dexter-message! Abruptly he hears a suspicious sound from the outside… someone’s approaching….the door opens and two more guys are now tossed into the weird warehouse, just like he was. Noodles take a good look at them. He recognizes them. It’s James Hetfield from Metallica and MacGyver.

They immediately start talking, almost whispering….

Noodles – Hey James, what the hell are you doing here?
James - Long story…and I ask you the same…
Noodles – Yeah weird story too…Hey MacGyver I thought you were done with this type of adventure!
MacGyver – Nah…they still pay me good money ya know?
James – Awesome!
Noodles – Yeah now get us out of here! I need a drink!
MacGyver – Alright let me think! Give me one minute…

---------------------------------“they all wait for one minute”----------------------------

Rutegard
09-19-2008, 06:19 AM
PART III


MacGyver – OK! I need a bubblegum, some hair, something tasty and something cool!
Noodles – I got the hair and something cool!!
James – Well I got the bubblegum and something tasty!
MacGyver – Well then, Noodles I’m gonna cut off a small part of your hair and James gimme your bubblegum.

*MacGyver makes some weird noises as if he was invoking great old ancient spirits, by this time Noodles and James were not so sure anymore……*

James - hey dude what are you doing?
MacGyver – A bomb…
James – A BOMB?!?
Noodles – Cool….a bomb!
MacGyver – Listen… do you want to get out of here or what?
James – Ok, ok…cool then..
Noodles – Can’t wait for that beeeeeeerrrrrrrr…
MacGyver – Relax Noodles, it’s almost done, now gimme the something cool..
*Noodles takes off his red surf board*
MacGyver – Splendid!! It’s RED!! It will give us more power then…

*James has the WTF?!? face expression and Noodles couldn’t care less*

MacGyver – Now I need something tasty for the last touch…
*James takes from his pocket a Gringo Bandito bottle*
MacGyver – I don’t know this stuff…is this tasty?
Noodles and James – Oh yeah!

*MacGyver is still making those weird noises but in a few minutes of bubblegum, hair, surf board and Gringo Bandito and even some bizarre noises mixed together he gets his very own bomb!!*

Now they just trigger the bomb and get out of there as fast as they can.

While on the run they spot what it seems to be KITT, the Knight Rider’s car! They get in and KITT says Hey! They all answer back except for Noodles that stares at the car thinking how the hell it is possible for him to be drunk if he hasn’t had a drink for so many hours?!?

Noodles is now used to the talking car, still, he needs a beer! KITT takes them back to Noodles’ hotel where Dexter is waiting in the front door. He’s very surprised to see his band mate with MacGyver and James from Metallica driving KITT! Still, he keeps his posture of a not-so-finished-PhD! (ya know…like a guy who basically knows almost everything that’s worth knowing)

Noodles get out of the car; says goodbye to the three of them; says hello to Dexter at the same time as he hugs him..

Dexter – Dude, you stink!
Noodles – That’s because I have Gringo Bandito all over my clothes you asshole.
Dexter –What?
Noodles – Let me just grab a beer, and I’ll tell you everything.

*Noodles goes to the Hotel’s bar and Dexter just follows him*




-------------seriously it's done :D-------------

way to go Noodles :D

Blitzkrieg Bop
09-19-2008, 07:16 AM
I kinda liked this Noodles one so far.

The rest of the story should interest you ... it has beer in it :D

dr.vanessa
09-19-2008, 10:02 AM
HAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WOOOOOOOW they were all AWESOME!!!!!:D:cool:

P.S.1:Thanx for putting me in the story:D

P.S.2:In fact if Noodles asked me to go with him i would absoloutely f**k the f**king exam....hehe:D

dff_punk
09-19-2008, 11:21 AM
The rest of the story should interest you ... it has beer in it :D

Yes it did indeed :)
And why the hell would some mafia kidnap Noodles, James Hetfield and MacGyver? :D Weird combination :D

Rutegard
09-19-2008, 11:23 AM
Yes it did indeed
And why the hell would some mafia kidnap Noodles, James Hetfield and MacGyver? :D Weird combination :D

just to fuck up with our minds :D

i mean....he was kidnapped because he was in the wrong place LOL

misunderstood that message :p

m.offspring.r
09-19-2008, 01:21 PM
yyeeaahhh James Hetfield and MacGyver hurraahhhhh

the_real_potomek
09-19-2008, 03:14 PM
wooow, these stories are kinda weird but cool:D

I had some freak dreams with them some time ago:D

Rooster
09-19-2008, 03:37 PM
Yes it did indeed :)
And why the hell would some mafia kidnap Noodles, James Hetfield and MacGyver? :D Weird combination :D

Yeah, why on earth would you kidnap MacGyver? If you ever kidnapp MacGyver, you'd better keep him away from any swiss army knife. You should also keep him away from orange juice, sugar, hair shampoo and matches because he would probably find a way to produce napalam and burn your dog's house with it...

anyway, i have to take more time to read all these stories...:D

Rutegard
09-20-2008, 06:15 AM
Yeah, why on earth would you kidnap MacGyver? If you ever kidnapp MacGyver, you'd better keep him away from any swiss army knife. You should also keep him away from orange juice, sugar, hair shampoo and matches because he would probably find a way to produce napalam and burn your dog's house with it...

anyway, i have to take more time to read all these stories...:D

indeed LOLOL

and away from gringo bandito :D


HEY

i'd really appreciate some new stories..from someone else huh? what do you say?

Stylie
09-20-2008, 06:43 AM
anyway, i have to take more time to read all these stories...:D

Same here. :p Probably very good stories, haven't just had time to read it (uh, haven't had? ôô).

Rutegard
09-20-2008, 07:00 AM
Same here. :p Probably very good stories, haven't just had time to read it (uh, haven't had? ôô).

then don't!!

time is money!!

:D go make some money

i'm freaking out right now....

I NEED SOME POPCORNS :(

selF_LexA
10-25-2008, 12:15 PM
One nice day in Orange County, Dexter got off bed with the sound of his doorbell.
He answered the door and there where 2 police officers looking straight at him
- Mr.Sir...we have some questions for you about the murder of Mr.Kenny...
- Mr.Who?!
- Mr.Kenny, Mr.Sir...from South Park...
- Woa, I haven't done anything to Kenny from South Park, and stop calling me Mr.Sir.
- Fine, Mr.Doctor, can we come in?!
- Sure...
So they both got in and they all sat down and they started asking questions.
- Okay, where were you on the 29th december 1965^?
- Getting born. Is this a joke?!
- Mr.Scientist... we don't joke. This is as serious as George W Bush. We believe you have a wife...
- Yeah, she's upstairs.
- Can we take a look at her?
- I guess...
They went upstairs and Kristy was still sleeping. They pulled the sheets and started talking to each other.
- We should note...this is an awfull pijama.
- Yes this may be a reason for the murder.
Dexetr interrupted very disturbed.
- Excuse me, I don't see how one thing relates to the other.
- Mr.Gentleman, we are the authority...don't question our work please! We have worked in these cases for ever...and this is the typicall murderer's wife we are looking at... Now be nice to the authority and go get us some beers.
So Dexter started walking down the stairs and he noticed that they were following them, so he stopped and looked back. They seemed a bit stumbled and one of them quicly grabbed a candle near by...
- Huum...care to come along?-asked Dexter.
- Oh no no! We're just...admiring...this...candle...Has never been lighten...lack the romance? A bit of...intercorse? That seems a pretty good reason to kill someone.
Dexter just rolled his eyes up and continued walking towards his bar.
- HA HA! we secretly followed you here! So you have a bar! I bet this is where the victim was murdered!
- Oh yeah?! And how could that happen here? - asked Dexter waiting for the stupidest answer.
- Happening...-said one of them.
- Shut up! I do this part! You know I'm the smart one! Okay...I bet the victim was here and asked for some innocent juice, and you only had beer and alcoholic drinks and you killed him.
Dexter tought for a bit, then asked.
- So...I killed him because I didn't have any juice?
The police officer though for a bit.
- No...
He looked around and he saw a guitar.
- I though you played drums...
- I play guitar and sing...
- So...you're not Ron Welty?
- Hum...No...
- Oh...
The two officers mumbled for a bit.
- So...It's getting a bit late, we're...gonna get going...bye...Oh, and nice bar. And i'm taking the candle because i'm the authority.

Rutegard
10-25-2008, 12:17 PM
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

nice job girl :D :D :D


i'm glad you posted!!



now.....we want more :D

selF_LexA
10-25-2008, 12:17 PM
This is probably the stupidest story you'll ever read:D

dr.vanessa
10-25-2008, 12:34 PM
:D :D :D :D very funny LOL

Cock Joke
10-25-2008, 06:50 PM
One day little Timmy was being sexually molested by his Uncle Ben, when one day his uncle hung himself by a noose. After that, little Timmy went for a walk in the woods and he saw Ron Welty.

"I'm a big Offspring fan!" said Timmy.

"Oh, yea..." said Ron. "Those guys..." He became frozen as he recalled that horrendous fight between him and the band members before they started working on Splinter.

"What's going on with your new band?" asked Timmy. "Stoddy...Gruel? Silly Putty? Slinky Sock?"

"IT'S STEADY GROUND, YOU RETARD!!! STEADY FUCKIN' GROUND!"

Ron Welty shot little Timmy in the nut sack and went back home.

He later heard that Axl Rose was finally releasing Chinese Democracy in one month and decided to speed up working on his album. HINT HINT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The End

selF_LexA
10-30-2008, 04:00 PM
Ok...it's official then...Ron hates South Park characters...:D

Bipolar Bear
10-30-2008, 07:09 PM
One day little Timmy was being sexually molested by his Uncle Ben, when one day his uncle hung himself by a noose. After that, little Timmy went for a walk in the woods and he saw Ron Welty.

"I'm a big Offspring fan!" said Timmy.

"Oh, yea..." said Ron. "Those guys..." He became frozen as he recalled that horrendous fight between him and the band members before they started working on Splinter.

"What's going on with your new band?" asked Timmy. "Stoddy...Gruel? Silly Putty? Slinky Sock?"

"IT'S STEADY GROUND, YOU RETARD!!! STEADY FUCKIN' GROUND!"

Ron Welty shot little Timmy in the nut sack and went back home.

He later heard that Axl Rose was finally releasing Chinese Democracy in one month and decided to speed up working on his album. HINT HINT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The End

That my friend is a genius storyteller.
My stories never make sense somehow..


Why won't Dexter exercise? Why can't Dexter triumph throughout the hated recipient? Dexter rates the chicken. Noodles surrounds Dexter. Dexter runs beside Noodles. The crisis dedicates the lion. Over Noodles cries Dexter. How does a prohibited arena minister to Dexter? How does the smart theater buck opposite Dexter? The exponential percentage announces Noodles against each copper. A unusual teapot designs Noodles. In Noodles paces our obnoxious card. Every separated lip disappears around this office. Dexter associates with Noodles next to its easier solicitor. Dexter negates a motive chamber. Dexter cautions. When can Dexter institute a tragedy? The supplier alleges Noodles in each image. Dexter hacks Noodles before the arch directive. Does the favorite exit syndicate Noodles?

_Lost_
10-30-2008, 08:35 PM
wow. I think you get an A for the effort you put into that totally not making sense. Quite honestly. Its an art I have yet to perfect.

SK8rocka
10-31-2008, 12:21 AM
Story:


one day dexter was walking and he seen a fish, it blew up and he took a picture?

after that joan jett said hi to greg k and greg k was badass,

later that day dexter was walking home and he seen ron weltly,
then dexter kicked ron down a drain so he can get eaten by sharks in the ocean,
and dexter said 'thats for not being too good at drumming'(situation needed)

so dexter went home and listened to lady gaga

Grimesy da Offspringfan
10-31-2008, 09:22 AM
Story:


one day dexter was walking and he seen a fish, it blew up and he took a picture?

after that joan jett said hi to greg k and greg k was badass,

later that day dexter was walking home and he seen ron weltly,
then dexter kicked ron down a drain so he can get eaten by sharks in the ocean,
and dexter said 'thats for not being too good at drumming'(situation needed)

so dexter went home and listened to lady gaga

What about Noodles and Pete? They were having unprotected anal sex with each other, or what? :p

SK8rocka
10-31-2008, 06:35 PM
What about Noodles and Pete? They were having unprotected anal sex with each other, or what? :p

well noodles was sleeping and pete is gay so yeah

Grimesy da Offspringfan
11-01-2008, 02:29 AM
Sooo, Pete raped Noodles? Kickass :cool: :D

Rutegard
11-01-2008, 02:51 AM
Sooo, Pete raped Noodles? Kickass :cool: :D

no i guess noodles wasn't REALLY sleeping, so HE raped pete instead

Grimesy da Offspringfan
11-01-2008, 02:52 AM
no i guess noodles wasn't REALLY sleeping, so HE raped pete instead

Yeah, that's more possible...