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RonWelty
12-04-2008, 11:09 AM
Dexter is lazy to feed our needs of journal news. So i will take charge on that.


DAY 1 - 4th December 2008

Hey guys. It's Dexter here. I'm here in my hotel room, in Russia. Moscow is really cold these days.
Last night we did a gig. It went well. I tried to find Tijs on the crowd but i failed. I'm missing him.
Greg K. is still drunk. Berlin Killed him. He said hi last night to the crowd. I was blown away.
Today I saw some russian jet fighters in a local airport. They're pretty. I want one for my birthday. I think I will beg myself for one. Some guys like girls, some like guys and others, shockin news, like both. Your Dexter don't. I like planes. They're powerful and let me fly. When I'm on shower I sing that famous song of Nelly Furtado, you know? Decent lady. I would do her if she wasn't such a sex addicted. I like my private space.

Noodles and Pete are always fun and amused. They really love touring life. I stay most time in my room trying to make my hair appeal more cute. ANd i do check you guys on our BBS.

Now i have to quit, because i'm in charge to buy vodka for our party this night. Don't worry i'm not winning some bad ulcer. It's for them. I only drink gringo bandido.

So, i will take off.

Take care and see you tomorrow!

P.S: Tomorrow Last gig in Russia!


EDIT: WARNING: ALL MY POST ARE JUST PRODUCT OF MY INSANE IMAGINATION AND DO NOT REFLECT DEXTER'S or OTHER BAND MEMBER OPINION NEITHER MINE. I LOVE THEM DEARLY!

Sofinch
12-04-2008, 11:11 AM
Dexter is lazy to feed our needs of journal news. So i will take charge on that.




I thought you were Dexter :D
man this is GREAT!!! KEEP GOING !!

RonWelty
12-04-2008, 11:14 AM
I thought you were Dexter :D
man this is GREAT!!! KEEP GOING !!

That's what is cute on this situation. You'll never know what's true

dominoizzy
12-04-2008, 11:15 AM
I stay most time in my room trying to make my hair appeal more cute.

haha! 'more cute':D:D

~|Vredina|~
12-04-2008, 11:15 AM
Cool! At first I believed that Dexter really wrote it! :)
And by the way, it's not cold in Moscow these days actually. :)

RonWelty
12-04-2008, 11:17 AM
cool! At first i believed that dexter really wrote it! :)
and by the way, it's not cold in moscow these days actually. :)

bonekiller!

Tijs
12-04-2008, 11:18 AM
I tried to find Tijs on the crowd but i failed. I'm missing him.No wonder, I wasn't there! I miss you too pretend-Dexter! :(

RonWelty
12-04-2008, 11:19 AM
No wonder, I wasn't there! I miss you too pretend-Dexter! :(
Bad mojo dude, bad mojo.

hangovered
12-04-2008, 11:22 AM
Cool! At first I believed that Dexter really wrote it! :)
And by the way, it's not cold in Moscow these days actually. :)

If our LORD RonWelty vel Dexter Holland (Dexter Holland vel RonWelty?;)) says it's cold,then it is! ;)

This is awsome,keep writing pls!

Tijs
12-04-2008, 11:26 AM
Bad mojo dude, bad mojo.
I wasn't physically there? Is that what you mean?

_Lost_
12-04-2008, 11:27 AM
hahaha! Love it!

RonWelty
12-04-2008, 11:28 AM
if you like it that much i will continue. I will try to do one per day, when they're touring.

I got some inside information, that even Noodles, greg k. and Pete want to be part of this. But Dexter wants to do it all alone. He really loves to be the front man!

F@ BANKZ
12-04-2008, 11:36 AM
Hi Dexter, Fatz bank, I'm a big fan, Trust In You and everything, awesome man, that's awesome. Anyway I, I..I was wondering, could.. Could you please sign my Gringo Navidad Christmas Basket for me, please? It would, be like totally rad of you, to, do something awesome, like that, or something, man.

Rutegard
12-04-2008, 12:08 PM
DAY 2 DAY 2 DAY 2


why r portuguese ppl coming up with stuff like this? journal...stories...

holland25
12-04-2008, 12:12 PM
Actually I used to recieve PM's from users that thought I am Dexter when I still had that avatar from Ignition era. Good old times.

Awesome way to waste my 5000th post...

Redjie
12-04-2008, 12:12 PM
ahah, awesome!
one day I'll try something like this :p

but I'm sure you guys can do it better than me.
So.. Day 2, we are waiting :D

Sofinch
12-04-2008, 12:13 PM
Actually I used to get PM's that stated I'm Dexter when I still had that avatar from Ignition era. Good old times.

Awesome way to waste my 5000th post...

Congrats with your 5000th post!

RonWelty
12-04-2008, 12:14 PM
ahah, awesome!
one day I'll try something like this :p

but I'm sure you guys can do it better than me.
So.. Day 2, we are waiting :D

it«s done, but i think it's not right to put a diary of 5th december on 4th december...

Rutegard
12-04-2008, 12:14 PM
ahah, awesome!
one day I'll try something like this :p

but I'm sure you guys can do it better than me.
So.. Day 2, we are waiting :D

im still waiting for that story u promised ....

holland25
12-04-2008, 12:15 PM
Congrats with your 5000th post!

A nun? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Bipolar Bear
12-04-2008, 12:17 PM
Wouldn't it be hilarious if we one day found out that Cock Joke was Dexter all along?

Redjie
12-04-2008, 12:18 PM
it«s done, but i think it's not right to put a diary of 5th december on 4th december...

you're right :p

Edit:
Rutegard - one day, one day.. :D

_Lost_
12-04-2008, 12:20 PM
Wouldn't it be hilarious if we one day found out that Cock Joke was Dexter all along?

I would be forced to reevaluate my worship of the Offspring if Cock Joke turned out to be Dexter Holland.

RonWelty
12-04-2008, 12:20 PM
Because Tomorrow I believe i will be too far away of having the chance to uplead this, i will put DAY 2 live...

DAY 2 - 5th December

Well, hello again! It's your Dexter.
Let's see...

I woke up early in the morning to do some jogging. Burn some fat, you know what I mean? (russian chicks are hot)
Morning was wasted on some press interviews. I really hate that piece of SH**. Always the same questions, the same themes. They never ask about "economic crisis" or "how to land an airplane full of drunken music stars when the pilot is stoned too". Nevermind.
We lunched together and i did not eat mexican food. Kudos for me.
Noodles bought a Russian Ssh68 helmet. They were used during WWII by russian soldiers. He spent all evening acting goofy with that metal thing in his head. I believe comrades from KGB would prefer to suicide more, than watch that scene. Priceless.
We went to St.Petersburg for our show. In the past this city was called Leningrad. I rather prefer the new name.
Our show was what we expected. Hit songs and some newcomers, K. knows how to do a setlist, no doubt about that.
At the end of the show, Noodles sent out to the crowd some of his own tshirts "ANTI-BUSH" because soon they are useless. Russians really seem to dig it.
The real standout of this day was after the show.

We're on backstage, drinking beer and talking shit, when half of red army entered our little room. We were real afraid. I felt some yellowish water running down my leg.
But we got even more frightned when we found out it was PUTIN who entered the room. He was weird without his classic dark suite. He worn a Anarchy symbol white Tshirt and blue jeans. By the way he seemed heavy stoned, because he was all jumping and screaming: "OH MY GOD DEXTER you're so pretty". We talked about 30 minutes and now I can say He's the nicest guy on Earth.
He even will send me a new MIG just for me, Isn't he the cutest?

Well now i'm tired in my room. I will watch some OPRAH to relax a little.

And now ....

(RonWeltY: I was listening Dexter on the phone, because i'm not in RUssia and I need him to tell me what to write. After he said "and now" i listened a big weird noise..and the following action is the real true!")

DEXTER: WHAT THE FUCK!!!

Noodles: Give me that, man. I want to go home(he yells at me)

DEXTER: Я сказал вам, глупые глупцы, чтобы лапша сна
(I told you, stupid fools, to make Noodles sleep)

RUSSIAN ARMY MAN: Путину не нравятся его волосы. Он предпочел ваши волосы светлее (Putin didn't like his hair. He prefer your brighter hair)

NOODLES: Dexter man, are you a communist? I'm your fellow mate, dude? You can't trade me for a stupid plane

DEXTER: They're nice and make me happy...

(Greg K. Enters the room)

GREG K. : Stop you two

Dexter and Noodles: Yes chief

Greg K. : Dexter we will give Ron fuckin Welty to Putin in trade for you plane . Let's go. I have another babie to make!

Dexter: Скажите Путину, что я сожалею. Я пошлю Рон Welty ему так что он может сделать собачий стиль с американским парнем (Say to Putin that I'm sorry. I will send Ron Welty to him so he can do doggy style with an american guy)

RUSSIAN ARMY MAN: Это нормально, Долгая жизнь матери России. Спокойной ночи (That's fine, Long life to mother Russia. Good night)

Dexter: bye bye

(dexter again)

Sorry kids. I have to go back to bed. Daddy Greg always want to act like a father and sing me a story.

Take care and see you tomorrow

Rutegard
12-04-2008, 12:21 PM
Wouldn't it be hilarious if we one day found out that Cock Joke was Dexter all along?

or you ;) ....................

Bipolar Bear
12-04-2008, 12:24 PM
I would be forced to reevaluate my worship of the Offspring if Cock Joke turned out to be Dexter Holland.

I'd love them even more!


or you ;) ....................

Haha I wish!

Sofinch
12-04-2008, 12:26 PM
A nun? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

...beware of killernun, that's right, killernun protect your family, hide the bibles, get the guns...
reverse reverse holland25!!!

Sofinch
12-04-2008, 12:31 PM
RonWelty that was EXCELLENT again!!

Camilamazed
12-04-2008, 12:32 PM
Ron,

When you write Noodles', please, find a way to include something sex related about Fortaleza. That could be pretty funny. Specially because there wwas a street full of drag queens close to the hotel (if I'm not wrong haaha).

RonWelty
12-04-2008, 12:35 PM
Ron,

When you write Noodles', please, find a way to include something sex related about Fortaleza. That could be pretty funny. Specially because there wwas a street full of drag queens close to the hotel (if I'm not wrong haaha).

Noodles just phoned me, angry, because he wants to be in the limelight too. So i believe that even during today he will say something to us.

hangovered
12-04-2008, 12:36 PM
it«s done, but i think it's not right to put a diary of 5th december on 4th december...

I though you're from future?:p

http://www.offspring.com/forums/showpost.php?p=1223916&postcount=58

RonWelty
12-04-2008, 12:37 PM
I though you're from future?:p

http://www.offspring.com/forums/showpost.php?p=1223916&postcount=58

I'm in 2008 in this thread. But in that thread, I'm in 2030. Technology is amazing!

Sofinch
12-04-2008, 12:38 PM
http://images.filmmagic.com/images/tnm/1949124.jpg<"Hey Ron, Thanks dude!"

Rutegard
12-04-2008, 12:39 PM
http://images.filmmagic.com/images/tnm/1949124.jpg<"Hey Ron, Thanks dude!"

eheheheh i miss u dex

Camilamazed
12-04-2008, 12:39 PM
Noodles just phoned me, angry, because he wants to be in the limelight too. So i believe that even during today he will say something to us.

Hahaha and I am sure he will confess he got a drag after a lot of antarticas ;)

Rutegard
12-04-2008, 12:39 PM
Hahaha and I am sure he will confess he got a drag after a lot of antarticas ;)

that wouldn't be a surprise

RonWelty
12-04-2008, 12:40 PM
http://images.filmmagic.com/images/tnm/1949124.jpg<"Hey Ron, Thanks dude!"

Really funny. You won a big smile from me

RonWelty
12-04-2008, 12:41 PM
Hahaha and I am sure he will confess he got a drag after a lot of antarticas ;)

let's see what we want to tell us!

Redjie
12-04-2008, 12:46 PM
Day 2 was awesome!
Let's all wait to see what Noodles has to say now!

Kennytar
12-04-2008, 12:52 PM
Cool! At first I believed that Dexter really wrote it! :)
And by the way, it's not cold in Moscow these days actually. :)

Its not cold for us, but I guess it is for Dexter :cool:

Great journal, Ron!

Rutegard
12-04-2008, 12:57 PM
Its not cold for us, but I guess it is for Dexter :cool:

Great journal, Ron!

because dex has a californian ass, so, everything is cold for him!!

RonWelty
12-04-2008, 01:09 PM
DAY 2 - 5th December

EXTRA - NOODLES CALL

RonWelty: Hello?
Noodles: hello, it«s noodles. Are you RonWelty?
R: sure. So nice to talk to you. How are you?
N: Man, Dexter was insane. What was he thinking about...
R: yeah i know..
N: But there's something i want to talk about; that girl CAMILA from the boards. SHE's so wrong. I do not had any sexual activity with that things in the road next to my hotel in Fortaleza. But, and no one can know about this, I know a "respectful" guy who did that...
R: Who? Dexter?
N: Nahhhh that bitch only cares about planes and bacterias...
R: Pete Parada?
N: Pete is a nice guy. Not him. And not Andrew too
R. NOOOOOOO ! Can't be Greg K.!
N. you got it. That man has a rock. Why do you think he do that weird swing thing? to let his penis dance along the music.
R. He seems like a decent and right man
N. mannn you don't know the real Greg K. You all think that Dexter is the man! NOT TRUE! Greg K. is the one that really owns us. Dexter is a slave. He wrote all stuff so Greg K. as the enough money to make all the babies he wants.
R. Why he likes to have so many kids?
N: you know! He hates latex.
R. Well, this was supposed to be a diary... Something to us, fans, know a little more about you. Told me something interesting!
N: I'm drunk all the time!
R: That we all know!
N. Okay, let me think. I voted Obama but I think i regret it now. He called clinton for the job. That girl is a bonekiller man. I prefer Palin instead!
R. But she is a republican!
N: man in the bed they are all the same! It´s all about hard penetration!
R. You're saying things that most of your fans can't read!
N: Come ON! They all see pornography on the web! It's everywhere!
R. Sure, Well, last theme: what are you listening and what do you want for christmas?
N. Right, well i'm listening to new AC-DC's album. Hard Rock!
R: And the newest GnR's ?
N: I like IRS and the hit single. It was co-written by our good friend Freese
R. That did drums on your last two albums
N. Right! He is really good! Good rythm, good fill. We like to work with him!
R. And for Christmas?
N. I'm not into that!
R. Oh sorry! Do you want to say anything to all of your fans?
N: Fuck you!
R. Copy that. Strange my phone operator sent a message saying i'm owing 100 euros because of this connection! Didn't you called me?
N. errrmmm, I said concierge that it was up to you to pay the call...
R. Your little motheasda s fasdfsdfg deg w d sdfg sdfgh dfh dfagh
N. Bye everybody
R. asdfhdbgsdgsdgnjksdngcker

findout5
12-04-2008, 01:16 PM
Ron, you are very demented! I like it!

Rutegard
12-04-2008, 01:17 PM
Ron, you are very demented! I like it!

i quote this! bring it on! :D :D

RonWelty
12-04-2008, 01:19 PM
Ron, you are very demented! I like it!

I will read this as a positive comment :D

hangovered
12-04-2008, 01:50 PM
My net connection was dead for a while and I was terrified that Ron will write something and I won't be able to read this!:eek: Am I addicted already???:eek:

RonWelty
12-04-2008, 01:54 PM
My net connection was dead for a while and I was terrified that Ron will write something and I won't be able to read this!:eek: Am I addicted already???:eek:

I have a lot of more things in my mind. Should i write» I don't want to be boring!

Camilamazed
12-04-2008, 03:16 PM
Nahhhh that bitch only cares about planes and bacterias...

What the hell hahahahahahha

Greg is sooooooo naughty

]=D

Gustavo
12-04-2008, 03:20 PM
hahahaha, RonWelty, these journals rock!
Keep 'em up!


I have a lot of more things in my mind. Should i write» I don't want to be boring!

Yes, you should!
Definitely.

RonWelty
12-04-2008, 03:29 PM
Released the bull then!

:D

hshduppsnt
12-04-2008, 03:44 PM
id be excited to see if Dexter read this and made some sort of response haha

RonWelty
12-04-2008, 03:49 PM
I got a gift for you guys!

DAY 2 - DEXTER ON THE SONGS

hi again! I'm a bit bored here! Just snow outside and no Oprah or Jerry Springer in Russian television!

So, you always wanted a Dexter on the Songs. Here you have it!

I will do one "D on the song" for everysong! You ask why? No sex in Dexterland!

"Jennifer Lost The War"
Self-Titled

Well, this is obvious! It is about Jennifer! And that bitch lost the war and got raped and killed!
Of course Jennifer was a friend of mine and i didn't help her because i was too busy petting my "thief look a like" long hair. Yes, i have a weird fetiche about hair.

She and Kristy are all the same. I just changed names. I couldn't find other issue to that song on our newest album, and as i was so busy working on my Hot Sauce, fuck it, i will steal this time myself. Easy and safe.

Little girl was just six years old. That bitch stole my bike and my soccer ball. She was stronger than me. I was a tiny little white dork in that Garden Grove community. No one liked me. Even now they only talk to me because i got golden cojones (Yes, i had to take off my testicles and replace it by golden balls).

Then you have Phoebe. I was young and a believer. I thought: " I have to do a masterpiece". And you can't do a Masterpiece with only one character! Come on, that's obvious! So i figure out an odd name. Eureka! Phoebe it is!

I'm so proud right now, that with only 20 year I could lie that much, take a look at this line:

"When she lies silent in a morgue
And all our sorrows"

I was trying not to laugh. I was so happy about her death! That bitch stole my bike! And no one steal anything from me. Only "moi" can steal things! You Don't believe it?

In everysong i had created, except "When you're in prision" (which is the biggest pile of shit on God's Earth) there is something i had to steal to make it sound right. You all know that!

What you don't know, and this is true folks, is that i have a legal company that kills all those motherfuckers that try to do that to me ! Cool, Right? It's Punk-rock :D

Here it is a deep view on this subject: Jennifer Lost the War!

Later,

Dexter Holland

RonWelty
12-04-2008, 03:50 PM
id be excited to see if dexter read this and made some sort of response haha

hey dexter! Don't kill me! I love you!

WARNING: ALL MY POSTS ARE JUST PRODUCT OF MY INSANE IMAGINATION AND DO NOT REFLECT DEXTER'S or OTHER BAND MEMBERS OPINION NEITHER MINE. I LOVE THEM DEARLY!

hshduppsnt
12-04-2008, 04:22 PM
hey dexter! Don't kill me! I love you!

Haha nah man I'm sure he'll get a kick out of it

Camilamazed
12-04-2008, 04:35 PM
Hahahahahahaha

Dexter on song pwns!

RonWelty
12-04-2008, 04:49 PM
Day 2 - Dexter on the Songs

Elders
Self Titled

Now it's time for Elders! Do you like this song? I don't remember how it is. Let me download it.

(1 minute dowloading left)

I'm drinking hot chocolate with a bit of gringo bandido. Sweet.

Okay. I remember this song.
When you're a kid you have to be something! That's what she said.
You could be a medic, a teacher or a soldier. Doesn't matter. You have to be something to have a good life when you're elder, elder people say. You need VIAGRA, you need money to buy it. Thanks god you buy my music because Cialis cost a lot of money man.
This is a pretty simple song. Few elaborate words. I maybe wrote this one when i had that bad dhiarrea in 1988. Ate too much Tacos that day. Momma told me to stop but i was so blind...

I'm sorry now about this lyric. Seems like something some kid would do. But i was pissed with some old fuckers that lived in my borough. They told me i have to go to school to be rich! LIES LIES LIES LIES! See NoodleS? he uses a gold watch and did he went to school? no! Now people call me "Dexter". I would like to be called "Captain" or "Strike" or "Rambo". Now I don't care. Because of me, there are two shows in television with my nickname: Dexter Cartoon and Dexter the serial killer! People really love me!


By the way, saw "Blindness" last week. Hated it. Was hoping for a movie about a guy who is trying to be a pilot even if he is blind. I was told it was a Spielberg movie and i found out it's a movie made by some guy from South America. I thought that only Americans citizens were allowed to make movies.

I heard Ron Welty band is over. Now i can die happy

Later

Rutegard
12-05-2008, 02:13 AM
OH MY GOD dexter YOU ARE SO MEAN


AHAHHA DAMN U

dex, let's make babies and adopt ron welty shall we?

RonWelty
12-05-2008, 03:28 AM
DAY 2 - Dexter on the Songs

Out on Patrol
Self-Titled

Oh, i like this one. Fast shit.

Since i was a depressed child, i always wanted to be in the army: An Air Force Pilot.
As I failed in my exams cause they said I wasn't psychologic stable I tried to enter in the Navy Seals but it was another closed door too.
Anyway, song enters with that acoustic intro that gives that western theme. I always liked cowboys with their big guns! I love big guns too!

This song talks abouts our soldiers that go to foreign countries facing unknown, got beated by minor weak forces and have to wait Big Boys coming to rescue them. It's all about what US is now: We say we are the best but we never really win a war.
They put me out of the militar system, I treat them badly in my musical system.

Notice that "uno, dos, tres, quatro"? That guy that wrote Pretty Fly stole that from me! erm wait...that was me! What a coincidence!

Next soon!
Stay tunned!


P.S. -> I'm happy to announce that Dirty Magic Recorded will be on our website this Holidays season.

RonWelty
12-05-2008, 05:27 AM
Day 2 - Dexter on the Song

Crossroads
Self-Titled

I have to be honest, I just wrote shit about denial, rage and fear of the future on this lyric. Things that both my pets could had writen for me.

"I still want to know
Who can see for me
Crossroads tell me"

It's time to ask:

Why i wrote this shit?
Crossroads tell me

End of discussion..

Camilamazed
12-05-2008, 06:17 AM
I don't remember how it is. Let me download it.

haha, looks like it's not very far from the truth.


They put me out of the militar system, I treat them badly in my musical system.

My crystal ball tells me now who might be the shooter in Hammerhead.

*singing*

Rebel, rebel...

Sofinch
12-05-2008, 08:04 AM
RonWelty aka Dexter, you're great!!
you should write a book or something

holland25
12-05-2008, 08:06 AM
...beware of killernun, that's right, killernun protect your family, hide the bibles, get the guns...
reverse reverse holland25!!!

*freaks out and jumps out the window*

RonWelty
12-05-2008, 08:15 AM
RonWelty aka Dexter, you're great!!
you should write a book or something

No, No. I write for you guys!

Next update soon|

Sofinch
12-05-2008, 08:18 AM
No, No. I write for you guys!

Next update soon|

... Hehe that makes it even more awesome to be an Offspring-fan :D

RonWelty
12-05-2008, 08:40 AM
Day 2 . Dexter on the Songs
Demons (Mexican Fiesta)
Self-Titled
Hi guys! What's up?
This track is one of my all-.time favorites! You want know why? All right let's go!

MELODY

Nice bass Intro, with decent drums. Guess who found out this? Some guy i had stolen :D.
Fast pace and some small guitar solos made by our friend Noodles. I believe chorus's catchiness is really great. But what really stands out for me is that small part between: 1:53 and 2.20. That was all made by me, so Kudos for me.

LYRICS

It's about Demons, that lovely creatures that i control at night to taunt people i hate. Can you figure out anyone?

This songs reflects how i fuckin lived that days. At night i painted my long hair black and my face was covered with some kind of white cream. I looked like Havoc's in a good day. Don't see him in a bad day. He really eats people. That's not Urban Myth,

At cemetery I did nasty thing! I even sung. Imagine dead people's pain!

The person i offered that night was Judy, old girlfriend. She said my penis was flacid and little. Come on. You can't say that to me. Fuck you!

"I‘ve loved you before, in other lives
But you‘ve never meant as much to me
Never meant as much to me as now"

In fact I believe I only dated girl just to kill after some buddy calls. I was young. Now i date girls because I need someone to cook for me. But my Tacos are the best. Ask Jordan. Oh! He died last week. Food poisoning is a dark bitch.

MAIN REASON

But the main reason that makes me really love this song is all that history references!
It's like I'm a young Graffin, selling odd words to slob people. I call it Public Service. Without that voice that resembles Fran Fine of THE NANNY(i loved that show).

See ya "All along the way"
P.S. - Pete Parada sent a big hug to all of you people that had a great night in Berlin. And Greg is still waiting your booze.
P.S. - "all along the way" Another piece of art that i stolen. I'm Evil genious.

Titus
12-05-2008, 09:26 AM
I LOL´d in both days

hangovered
12-05-2008, 11:34 AM
RonWeltys Dexter is becoming a real freak,I'm loving it:D

_Lost_
12-05-2008, 11:39 AM
There is nothing that I would love more than the REAL Dexter reading this and responding! That would be AWESOME!!! AHAHAHA! :D

Rutegard
12-05-2008, 12:19 PM
There is nothing that I would love more than the REAL Dexter reading this and responding! That would be AWESOME!!! AHAHAHA! :D

:) or noodles!! pretending he is the REAL dex, NOW THAT would be sweet!!

hangovered
12-05-2008, 01:32 PM
:) or noodles!! pretending he is the REAL dex, NOW THAT would be sweet!!

Yeah,maby Greg pretending that he's Noodles pretending to be Dex?And on the end of the day it would turns out that it was just Ron again:D
(i feel i don't understand what i just wrote...)

Rutegard
12-05-2008, 01:34 PM
Yeah,maby Greg pretending that he's Noodles pretending to be Dex?And on the end of the day it would turns out that it was just Ron again:D
(i feel i don't understand what i just wrote...)

do NOT forget about Andrew, and Dewey (dex's dog).

actually my dog is saying that he loves dewey dearly (they r both gays)

RonWelty
12-05-2008, 01:46 PM
There is nothing that I would love more than the REAL Dexter reading this and responding! That would be AWESOME!!! AHAHAHA! :D

yeah Dexter. COme on! Invite me to a "tete-a-tete" fight :D

RonWelty
12-05-2008, 02:02 PM
Day 2 - Dexter on the Videos

That's right folks. I would do a REAL review of our Videos. No bullshit, no lies, no nice words. Expect the worse here

Come out and Play VIDEO
Smash

1994. Year that Punk Broke, some people say.
1994. Year that we released Smash. Coincidence? I don't Believe.

Smash started with this hit single: COME OUT AND PLAY. I will talk about it later on "Dexter on the songs".

Let's focus on video.
It cost around 1000 dollars. 899 on beer and 100 on that coloured papers. 1 dollar for that guy that says "keep em separated". He's some garden grove jerk.

That garage was in Greg's house. I wanted to do a multimillion dollars video, but that gay, sorry, guy from Epitaph....what the hell...Brett said to get the fuck out. So he gave me 1000 dollars. True story.

I was all morning cleaning that garage. Full of used condoms and traces of blood of some hardocore sex acts that Greg likes to do some time. he is really better now, he takes some medication.

As i was saying, I cleaned that Garage ALONE. We didn't have money for a new videocamera so we had to shot that with that stupid colour distortion. No one notices right?

I wanted to use a executive suite to show everybody that i was doing big, but one more time again, Mr. Greg told me to use some old shit and some cap. And you all know how I look ugly with hats.

There's no plot, no goal no inspiration for this movie. It's just some stoned dudes playing a song in a suburban garage. No girls with big boobs and no planes. It's Plain and simple.

What really scared me that day is that Ron all spent previous day on masturbation ( because he finally could afford to rent a Playboy VHS). Consequences: He damaged his wrist. I don't remember which one now. Doesn't matter. Greg yelled a lot at him.

So, here is the true story around our first video.

Sayonara everybody!

TRIVIA: that dog is dead. I like to have some action with my riffle, you know what I mean?

Cock Joke
12-05-2008, 02:10 PM
^ That was funny!

zendor
12-05-2008, 02:23 PM
TRIVIA: that dog is dead. I like to have some action with my riffle, you know what I mean?

Yeah I think a story like that will be written by me one of these days, not that I'm a dog murderer, I wouldn't ever kill a dog!

My thoughts were blackened right down
v
v
v
WTF where are the bullets?

Gustavo
12-05-2008, 03:07 PM
Hahahaha, RonWelty, what an awesome story!
I laughed my ass off reading it.

You should write something about Higgins leaving the band. lol

RonWelty
12-05-2008, 03:26 PM
Day 2 - Dexter and the B-Sides

Hi guys. It may seem that I was all this day here on computer but it's too many cold out there.

So, new stuff now.

Here it is a song i worked on some years ago.

It's called American Citizen

I will show the Chorus:

" I wanna be a new american
I wanna spit bombs on every asian.
On a big truck or on a biz jet
living american is all i wanna get

Don't fear the unknown of tomorrow
don't waste your tears on sorrow
Because you're an American.
Don't let your brain rule your action
We all know thinking is science fiction
start doing it
Then you're an truly American"

Do you like it? is that any good?

bye bye.

hangovered
12-05-2008, 03:36 PM
[B]
" I wanna be a new american
I wanna spit bombs on every asian.
On a big truck or on a biz jet
living american is all i wanna get

Don't fear the unknown of tomorrow
don't waste your tears on sorrow
Because you're an American.
Don't let your brain rule your action
We all know thinking is science fiction
start doing it
Then you're an truly American"


u r genious,i just can't find words to discribe how addicted of this stuff i already am:)

RonWelty
12-05-2008, 04:15 PM
DAY 3 - 6th December

02:50 AM
RUSSIAN AIRSPACE
LIVE ON ANARCHY AIRLINES

RonWelty: ...está?
Dexter: Hello. It's Dexter Here.
R: oh, it's you. I was sleeping.
D: yes? sorry. I'm flying drunk and i need some help.
R: Flying Drunk? are YOU INSANE? DO YOU WANNA DIE?
D: I want to be famous like Kurt. Do you know how to land a plane by phone?
R: NO! Are you alone? No one knows you there?
D: yes. I have some sleep deprivation when in europe. I think it's because i'm missing some Fajita. Well do you play Flight Simulator or something?
RUSSIAN CONTROL TOWER: ANARCHY AIRLINES, Here is Boris Kretzev, of Moscow Center, are you there? OVER
D: FUCK YOU COMMUNIST! NOT OVER
RCT: ANARCHY AIRLINES, This is Boris Kretzev from Moscow Center, you have to land you plane right now.
R: Dexter? Do what that guy says, please
D: shut up R.
D: Hey Boris, send some Migs please. I want some action
R: Hey, Hey Dexter. Think about your fans and mostly about your family
D: I just care about me! I want to play with these russian bastards
RCT: Anarchy Airline, Moscow Center gives one more opportunity before 2 Migs arrive on your back to destroy you on air. OVER
R: Dexter Come on! descrease Throttle and ask that guy the coordinates to the next available runway.
D: Hey Krunchy, when can i sat down my plane? OPEN eheh
RCT: ANARCHY AIRLINES, 145 degrees left, descend 2000ft to 3500ft. Then contact 101.98 to MOSCOW AIRPORT EMERGENCY LANDING SUPPORT.OVER
D: hasta la vista MOSCOW CENTER FUCKER
R. Good boy, now put that information on your monitor. Put AP mode On and call that frequency
D: you seem greg K. right now. I hate you too!
R. come on...
MOSCOW AIRPORT EMERGENCY LANDING SUPPORT: Anarchy Airlines, you are in position for a emergency landing on rw22 left to right. Descend to 2000 ft and say when ready.Over
D. go down boy! good boy.
D: I'm in Position MOTHER RUSSIA!
MAELS: Now you're free to land.
D: That«s what i like
D: R do you want to drink a cup of Mukuzani with me?
R: I'm in portugal..
D: you«re a sissy.
Dexter's airplane computer: 50.40.30.20.10...
D: touch down! I'm the best!
D: "para bailar la bamba se necessita una poca de gracia"
R: oh no...
D: "MACARENA lalalalalal MACARENA lalalal MACARENA"
MAELS: taxi on right and wait for emergency units arrive.
D: NO PROBLEMO. You know who you are?
MAELS: ANARCHY AIRLINES, You're facing legal problems in Russia. You can't Fly in that instable state.
D: I'm fine! UPPPSSS Sorry about that ambulance.
MAELS: Stop your plane and get out with you hands up in air, please.
D: i have to close our connection R.
R: Call your manager!
D: Fuck my manager. He only cares about money.

(2 minutes interval)

D: hello R
R: what happened?
D: I phoned Putin..
R: and what happened?
D: he«s the best. He ordered them to give me a ak47 and let me kill them. Of course i couldn't say no too such a important personality
R. You were my Idol. How can you did that?
D: come on. Give me a break. If i play Lightning Rod in my next show do you forget this?
R; SURE. igustavo will love this
D: oh that guy in brazil that our securety made some harm?
R: yes. You should be ashamed! That guy really loves you...
D: Say to him ,that I'm sorry and that i want to give him a Hug
D: Have to go. Tomorrow I'm finally leaving this God's forgotten place.
R. You russians fans will not like to know you think that about their homeland.
D: they'll never know....

(connection lost)

chicapowerpunk
12-05-2008, 04:21 PM
They were out of ideas.

RonWelty
12-05-2008, 04:22 PM
They were out of ideas.

what? i dont understand

Gustavo
12-05-2008, 04:25 PM
Holy shit, RonWelty! You're getting me addicted to this stuff...
haha, yeah, Dexter, please play Lightning Rod!!!
Tell Dexter I want to hug him too! <3


Not in a gay way.

Marco
12-06-2008, 07:33 AM
lol I LOVE this "journal":D

RonWelty
12-06-2008, 08:12 AM
Day 3 - 6th December

Leaving Russia

Здравствуйте петух присоски.
Can anyone figure out what this mean. It's a nice compliment in Russian.

Wow. We're leaving Russia today. One long trip in my own plane to get home, to Sunny California.

I did a lot of shopping today. Bought some vodka, some whine, some cigars and some russian weed. They say it's the best around. I will tell you if it's true later.

As you know, yesterday we did our last song here and i had that little problem with ATC of Moscow Airport. Now It«s all solved. Dead People can«t speak right?

I was thinking what to tell you in this journal. And i Figure out i never told what kind of underwear I like.
I like to wear strong pink G-String with planes drawn on it. Some times, for special events, I use small thongs. But what I really love to use is something I bought when is Japan: Fundoshi. Man, it's awsome. I feel like I'm a rich Borat. And we all love to be Borat in someday of our life.

Well, sorry about such a small update but I'm Tired.

Hasta,
Yours Dexterosky

Sofinch
12-06-2008, 08:22 AM
Day 3 - 6th October



October? :D

RonWelty
12-06-2008, 08:27 AM
October? :D

sorry....thanks

Grimesy da Offspringfan
12-06-2008, 08:32 AM
D: FUCK YOU COMMUNIST! NOT OVER


Damn, i'm gonna sue you, you almost killed me, i was laughing so hard i couldn't breath :D:D

RonWelty
12-06-2008, 08:42 AM
Damn, i'm gonna sue you, you almost killed me, i was laughing so hard i couldn't breath :D:D

Want my full name? ;)

Blitzkrieg Bop
12-06-2008, 08:51 AM
Hahaha ... all I can say is Genius :cool: Keep them coming.

RonWelty
12-06-2008, 09:34 AM
DAY 3 - Dexter on the B-Sides

PASS BY ME Folks!
Here it is your most expected day!

Check out chorus lyrics:

"Gonna let the world Pass By me
being such a whotard
What you Think doesn't really matter to me

At 7, I was doing my first bid
You say I'm under control of mine hidden id
Shut up, now
your Wise words pass by me.
I'm not gonna let this pass me bye, oh no
What you say doesn't matter to me."

I will be in our next Album. Stay tunned for more.

RonWelty
12-06-2008, 03:35 PM
DAY 3 - DEXTER ON THE SONGs

Canadian Airspace

Dexter, that's me, picked up for today BEHEADED. One of fans' most wanted.

Well, Dexter, that's me, really likes it too.

As you can see, I was a serial-killer by these Self-Titled days. Some people say that I'm ZODIAC, but you can´t buy everything people says. It's obvious that the real ZODIAC copycat my awesome criminal acts.

Well, let's go:

"Mommy doesn‘t have her head any more
Keep it underneath my bed on the floor
Well that‘s all right though
That‘s OK
She never really used her head anyway"

Well I hated and still hate my parents - They got brothers to me. And Dexter hate to share things. Dexter likes to be the one. Dexter is like Mourinho, that european (spanish maybe?) soccer manager. Dexter now talks in 3rd person like star basketball players. Keep it cool, ya bro?

So, She get pregnant? I killed her. No hard feelings.

"Daddy called me a silly bore
Bet he won‘t say that any more
Because the way his body’s severed in two
His vocal chords are gonna be hard to use"

My daddy, father of Dexter, that's me, was everytime talking about I, Dexter, should be working on my future and be a medic. I was tired of that nonsense, i always wanted to be a slob and eat pancakes everyday. I like pancakes. With Peannut butter please.

"Beheaded
Watch you spurt like a garden hose
Beheaded
Bloody mess all over my clothes"

I love garden hoses. They are pretty.
I love Clothes. They're pretty.
But i, Dexter, like them more with blood on it. It gaves a nice visual effect on your birthday's party. Try that at home. It's 100% safe.

"Watch my girlfriend come to the door
Chop off her head, she falls to the floor
Watching my baby‘s jugular flow
Really makes my motor go

Wrap a towel around the bloody stump
Take my baby‘s body to the city dump
Then wipe the mess off the bloody axe
Scoop all the heads in my burlap sack"

Another girlfriend. As you should know, I love to murder girlfriends. I hate to have sex with them but when i kill them i get a really strong orgasm.

Well no story here: She enter my room, i chop off her head and she falls on floor. Then blood got out of her jugular. I picked my best glass and mixed some of that blood with diet coke and drank it. I'm thinking of making a new drinking brand: Killer Bandido - Blood Coke

So i got off to nearer city's dump and said good bye to her in silence. You have to show some respect.


Now comes the best part of this song:

"All my collection
Adorns my room on bamboo poles
Use to be a little
But a little got more and more
Now I‘m craving yours

Night brings bad dreams
Bad dreams with guillotines

Off with her head

Find another victim for my machine
Put him in a homemade guillotine
Blade falls, gonna need a casket
Watch the head plop in a wicker basket

Leave the house at a quarter to four
Come back with sixteen or more
Cause the more I want, the more I see
I got a funny feeling coming over me"

If someone finds the big house where Dexter, that's me, lives, I, Dexter, will show you my secret room.
Some of you have a secret room too: for quinky sex shit or to save all your BD's zines. I will not criticize you. But I really have a secret room for a special reason: That's where I save my victims's heads in Bamboo sticks. Why should i need Playboy tv when I have such an exciting view so close.

For last, I have a weird will in my body to kill more and more. It's bad for my social status and I take some medication to ease that. But sometimes during a long tour session far away from home i forget to take them. Here is my warning: If Dexter, I, invites someone to go to backstage. Be afraid. Your life is over.

Ciao

P.S. - Don't forget my birthday this month. Who wants to be my next victim? If a lot of people wants to be the one you can start an Offspring fan reality show.

Rutegard
12-06-2008, 03:40 PM
P.S. - Don't forget my birthday this month. Who wants to be my next victim? If a lot of people wants to be the one you can start an Offspring fan reality show.

LOLOL :D brilliant!
now!! ME AND MY OLD LADY plz dex plz dex?

YES we would like nominate some forum members (including u of course), then put them in a house, with cameras everywhere! and every week we would choose one member to die (by dex's hands)

:) LOVELY

RonWelty
12-06-2008, 03:42 PM
LOLOL :D brilliant!
now!! ME AND MY OLD LADY plz dex plz dex?

YES we would like nominate some forum members (including u of course), then put them in a house, with cameras everywhere! and every week we would choose one member to die (by dex's hands)

:) LOVELY
Let the polls begin!

LETS GET READY TO RUUMMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

hangovered
12-06-2008, 04:44 PM
My daddy, father of Dexter, that's me, was everytime talking about I, Dexter, should be working on my future and be a medic.


Man you created a real psycho, I love it:)

Being killed by Dexters hands can be really great experience...Too bad that it would be the last experience...For me at least...too bad I wouldn't be able to talk about it on bbs...But there's nothing for free...

RonWelty
12-06-2008, 05:14 PM
Man you created a real psycho, I love it:)

Being killed by Dexters hands can be really great experience...Too bad that it would be the last experience...For me at least...too bad I wouldn't be able to talk about it on bbs...But there's nothing for free...

Maybe he likes to tape it. We have to ask him.

Rutegard
12-07-2008, 05:24 AM
Maybe he likes to tape it. We have to ask him.

exactly, then we could rewatch it! and feel amazed

Blitzkrieg Bop
12-07-2008, 10:49 AM
YES we would like nominate some forum members (including u of course), then put them in a house, with cameras everywhere! and every week we would choose one member to die (by dex's hands)

:) LOVELY

ROFL ... That would really be something, an adventure of a lifetime. Don't forget we need to challenges to win Dex's favour ... and stay alive in the process ;)

Rutegard
12-07-2008, 11:57 AM
ROFL ... That would really be something, an adventure of a lifetime. Don't forget we need to challenges to win Dex's favour ... and stay alive in the process ;)

indeed! the fan who gets to know him the best, and please him the best, would win :) and the others would just be killed *evil laugh*

Duba
12-07-2008, 01:50 PM
:eek:
This thread is insane...
I love it. :D

RonWelty
12-07-2008, 02:52 PM
7th December - Huntington Beach

Hi guys. I'm back home. How are you doing? My staff told me this thread is already a huge hit. I'm so happy about it.

Well, today i bought drums set for Rock Band game. You know what it is? check it out! It's pretty cool.

I like to play there because it's where i learn to play guitar. I spend all my days when I'm at home trying to beat my own songs in medium difficulty. It's really hard. Specially because I do guitar playback live. You didn't know it right? But It«s true.

Anyway Pete Parada is here setting the game right and we will stay all night playing this. A party game to celebrate our last mini EUROPEAN TOUR. And we will be playing LIPS. I really suck on singing but who cares? It's a party bitch.

I'm writting a song about being a fan of a band, for our next record. It's about how we are so dependent of band's music to move on our life. I will dedicate it to you guys. Hope you like it.

here's a sad story: a friend of mine that is a drag queen, last week tried to have sex with me. I was tempted to say yes but I thought about how my ass's mucosa is so inflamated because my diarrhea that i had to say no. But he/she got so mad that he got off my home in a stunning hurry and went to some local bar and drank 1 litre of pure VODKA. I had to pick him up and sent him to nearest hospital. And u know what he said to police man who came to talk to him? That I tried to put him drunk so we could have some forced(by me) sexual session. In the following day he died but that cop is blackmailing me! He wants 250.000 dollars to shut the fuck up. I don't know what to do! Send me some money if you really like me.Thanks

Gotta go.
Thanks

Conspiracyof1000
12-08-2008, 01:37 AM
I don't know what to say.
This is the funniest damn thing I've read all year, and I've read a lot of things. :D

hangovered
12-08-2008, 01:42 AM
Hey Ron can I use some fragments to my signature?

RonWelty
12-08-2008, 03:00 AM
Hey Ron can I use some fragments to my signature?

yes sure dude

RonWelty
12-08-2008, 03:01 AM
I don't know what to say.
This is the funniest damn thing I've read all year, and I've read a lot of things. :D

thanks. it's a good help to make me continue.

Rutegard
12-08-2008, 03:10 AM
dex, im holding a scissor, so...when will you write somthing bout me and my old lady?

*shakes the scissor*

RonWelty
12-08-2008, 10:58 AM
8th December - DEXTER ON THE VIDEOS
the true story of "SELF ESTEEM VIDEO"

blablablablabla bla bla blablabla

Well for this video i think i changed tshirts like 100 times during recording. I have HyperHidrosis! It's fucked up! That's why i have that cooling system on our shows.

It was a bad hair day, but with a little of lotion it went okay.

I thought for this videoclip a plot full of sex, fighting and tears but Greg K. was tired that day and then we had to record ourselves playing and call some kids and that Hooker girl (that plays that pink guitar) to do some stupid stuff. One point that got me mad is that little hooker played guitar better than me. I had to ask her how and where to put my fingers on guitar to make it feel real. I'm an ass I know, but as long you're still paying, I'm playing. Playing with you, your fools!

I stolen that Sex Pistols Shirt from Greg Graffin's condo when he gave out a party there. That's why he hates me!
It was another cheap clip. Our fault this time, cause we wanted to save some money for tea and french croissants. That were good times, ya know?

That alien shit: i was into X-files that time. I called myself by that time "Mulder, Dexter Mulder". So it was a natural thing to add something alien's stuff to that video. Trying to explore new markets(new planet's music stores, new planet's MTVs etc). It's business.


That skeleton is from some dude I mudered that week. Don't mind asking what is his name because i will not tell if it's some smash's bad reviewer. It can't be proven, allright? And yes, that shirt without sleeves looks ugly. I look like a dug addicted. Maybe I really was... Who knows?

Sorry I'm too uninspired today. Missing my crowd, I believe. You know i love you,right? (suckersss)

For last, I know this songs sucks! It's about nothing and riffs are as bad as a Mike Myers rock song. And he neves does Rock and Roll songs, so you can figure it out. We never play it online so be calm. You can watch a live show of The Offspring and your ears will be safe. No self-esteem to ruin your life. Except if you go to Japan. That creepy dudes loves to listen Self-Esteem. THat's maybe because they have such tiny dicks. Believe me, I know.

See ya

RonWelty
12-08-2008, 11:02 AM
dex, im holding a scissor, so...when will you write somthing bout me and my old lady?

*shakes the scissor*

"Dear Rutegard, NO I will write niente . You want to know why? Because I want to see your blood slowly getting off of you arm. At the same time I will be next to you with a champagne's special glass ready to suck all your blood off. So forget about having me writting that.
Yours
Dexter"

Rutegard
12-08-2008, 11:14 AM
"Dear Rutegard, NO I will write niente . You want to know why? Because I want to see your blood slowly getting off of you arm. At the same time I will be next to you with a champagne's special glass ready to suck all your blood off. So forget about having me writting that.
Yours
Dexter"

oh you sucking my blood is so sexy, but no. im holding the scissor READY to CUT your ridiculous hair!! :D

wanna try again :p

RonWelty
12-09-2008, 07:15 AM
9th December - DEXTER's JOURNAL

http://www.findgift.com/cgi-bin/Gift_Wizard.cgi?m=Show_Gift&genid=301&whoid=1750&ageid=613&occid=6170&sr=1&gpp=24&p=1&RURL=%2Fcgi-bin%2FGift_Wizard.cgi%3Fgenid%3D301%26whoid%3D1750 %26ageid%3D613%26occid%3D6170&pid=36697

This is how I do my hot sauce. Now you don't have to buy Gringo Bandido and my brand's value will crash. But who cares? I love you guys

Yours
Gringo Dexter

hangovered
12-09-2008, 02:18 PM
Aaawww...First time you said you love us and didn't call us suckers or something...we love you too...sucker... :p

srlsly: I love this therad,I just can't wait for the next "day" in journal:)

Kennytar
12-09-2008, 02:31 PM
Great journal, Ron!

Good to just kick back and relax and enjoy ur writing, lol!


We love you too sucker..eeerrr...Dexter :D

Ninty Man
12-09-2008, 02:35 PM
MMM... hey Dex, could you tell me when you will come to Mexico? If you guys come to play, I will show you a nice place to kill people

hangovered
12-13-2008, 01:51 PM
Now you Ron are the lazy one:cool: ;)

RonWelty
12-13-2008, 02:01 PM
Now you Ron are the lazy one:cool: ;)

Tijs does not let me !

hangovered
12-13-2008, 02:03 PM
Tijs does not let me !

:confused::confused::confused::confused:

Tijs
12-13-2008, 02:22 PM
I asked you not to take it too far. Not everyone reads this thread and when you're posting in other threads saying Dexter told you stuff, or that you are Dexter, people might actually believe what you say and take what you say as a fact.

RonWelty
12-13-2008, 03:47 PM
"Hey dude, how's it going?

I just wanted to tell you not to take that pretend-Dexter stuff too far, people might actually believe it... "

That's what you sent to me. I understand as i should stop doing this because people may start to believe it. I stopped. Period.

Redjie
12-13-2008, 03:54 PM
I don't think you should stop doing this :p
We like to read it, it's just entertainment. Though I can understand that take this to other threads, might be a bit out of limits. we know it's all related but there are tons of users in these bords that aren't always checking on the boards. Just because like Tijs said, some people may start to believe it if they read your posts isolated. And let's face it, you haven't created the sweetest Dexter ever :D
In this thread specifically, you said in the first post this was just product of your imagination. And I do believe everyone reads at least the first post of any thread :p

Just my humble opinion (:

RonWelty
12-13-2008, 04:14 PM
I don't think you should stop doing this :p
We like to read it, it's just entertainment. Though I can understand that take this to other threads, might be a bit out of limits. we know it's all related but there are tons of users in these bords that aren't always checking on the boards. Just because like Tijs said, some people may start to believe it if they read your posts isolated. And let's face it, you haven't created the sweetest Dexter ever :D
In this thread specifically, you said in the first post this was just product of your imagination. And I do believe everyone reads at least the first post of any thread :p

Just my humble opinion (:

I don't want Dexter to kick my butt. Hey DEXTER DO YOU WANT ME TO RESUME THIS? SAY SOMETHING!

brothadave79
12-13-2008, 05:25 PM
I honestly don't think Dexter is going to tell you to keep writing it. He probably doesn't care one way or the other. At best.

RonWelty
12-13-2008, 05:28 PM
I honestly don't think Dexter is going to tell you to keep writing it. He probably doesn't care one way or the other. At best.

I was joking, lol. I don't care too about if he asks or not.
I only care if he tries to kick my ass. If so I will have to order to kill him. I would be so sad to do that.

brothadave79
12-13-2008, 05:51 PM
I don't think he would:


What's wrong with Dexter??? Everyone says what a great guy he is. Even his friends call him Gandhi. It's not just me, everyone says how nice he is. That is all. Thank you.

hangovered
12-14-2008, 03:19 AM
I was joking, lol. I don't care too about if he asks or not.
I only care if he tries to kick my ass. If so I will have to order to kill him. I would be so sad to do that.

lol,or some crazy fun, some maniac without sense of humor will cut your head,not only kick ass...
There's no possibility to find out if Dexter likes it or wants to kick your ass, unfotunately, for me it's funny and everybody knows that this is not how we see Dexter,how u see him,so don't worry;) But if u think that someone can feel offended,than don't start it again (:()

Rutegard
12-14-2008, 10:52 AM
i guess everyone understand the fact that ronwelty is indeed noodles, and dexter is redjie and i am dex's dog...right guys?

huummm i wish u could have written me and my old lady :p

clocks_R_slow
12-15-2008, 08:19 AM
haha this is funny :D

RonWelty
12-15-2008, 08:27 AM
"15th December - Huntington Beach

Hi, How are you? No more shows this year. Soon we will update tour dates. Stay Tunned.

Well, KROQ AAC was fine. I saw an actress from tv show "THE HILLS" backstage. She stared at me and said:" If you were a little thinner i would do you". I felt good :D.

Anyway, here's something I want to say:

DONT TRHOW ONE SHOE TO ME! AT LEAST THROW THE TWO OF THEM. SO I CAN USE THEM. OR SELL. And I prefer Vans. I don't like Nike! Thanks.

OKAY?

See ya"

iPunk247
12-16-2008, 07:38 PM
are the guys paying ya nice dineros for this shit or what is the fucking delio here :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused: imma no sucker just ignorant. sometimes though. anyway, well....great story telling &&&& A+ 4 u xD keep it up because it is quite interesting in a intelligent level so to speak.

RonWelty
12-17-2008, 08:30 AM
are the guys paying ya nice dineros for this shit or what is the fucking delio here :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused: imma no sucker just ignorant. sometimes though. anyway, well....great story telling &&&& A+ 4 u xD keep it up because it is quite interesting in a intelligent level so to speak.

I dont understand interely but I believe it's a good comment so thanks!!!

iPunk247
12-18-2008, 10:01 PM
I dont understand interely but I believe it's a good comment so thanks!!!

sorries for my lack of poor grammar. so much for school and stuff. lucky enough i am still working my jobs pay lol 4 sure ur welcome. take care CYA xDxDxDxD

SK8rocka
12-18-2008, 10:14 PM
iPunk247 RULES!!!!!!!!!
did i say that out loud

iPunk247
12-18-2008, 10:17 PM
YES. ya did and i like it!!! thanx. i love u always and forever. take care. cya xD

SK8rocka
12-18-2008, 10:20 PM
YES. ya did and i like it!!! thanx. i love u always and forever. take care. cya xD


*Melts* 10 characters

iPunk247
12-18-2008, 10:22 PM
iPunk247 RULES!!!!!!!!!
did i say that out loud

the offspring guys should bless me with a reward for being a softcore fan wOOt

SK8rocka ownz!!!

iPunk247
12-18-2008, 10:26 PM
*Melts* 10 characters

http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e343/syamsulmaarif/Smilies/smoker.gif
http://i175.photobucket.com/albums/w139/nicolamca/Smilies/catch.gif
http://i175.photobucket.com/albums/w139/nicolamca/Smilies/kisses.gif
http://i175.photobucket.com/albums/w139/nicolamca/Smilies/c4657cb349d869e3a2826fbc07a3d4c8.gif

SK8rocka
12-18-2008, 10:29 PM
h3h3h3h3, dat is liek siiick ayyyy

iPunk247
12-18-2008, 10:36 PM
tight slang!! omg, i can read. Yay xD hooked on cronic works 4 me. hahahaha

Tijs
12-19-2008, 02:50 AM
And now it's time to get back on topic, people.

hangovered
12-19-2008, 10:18 AM
And now it's time to get back on topic, people.

Now it's time for RonWelty. Come on Tijs, let him write!

I know, I know, u never interdicted him from writting.

Or maybe it's not becouse of Tijs, maybe it's becouse..."Dexter" is... LAZY ASS???:p

RonWelty
12-19-2008, 10:59 AM
Now it's time for RonWelty. Come on Tijs, let him write!

I know, I know, u never interdicted him from writting.

Or maybe it's not becouse of Tijs, maybe it's becouse..."Dexter" is... LAZY ASS???:p

LOL: I wrote something this week. Check it out!

hangovered
12-19-2008, 11:02 AM
LOL: I wrote something this week. Check it out!

I know, I've seen it, yet i'm your biggest fan:D But u know, it'll never be enough:D

RonWelty
12-19-2008, 11:09 AM
I know, I've seen it, yet i'm your biggest fan:D But u know, it'll never be enough:D

soon I will add something more. This weekend :D

RonWelty
03-17-2009, 11:34 AM
"17th March, 2009.

Hi guys! I took a long time to write some new shit hum?
So by now, you just found out one of the dates of our next tour! You're very clever! Cheers.

Well now I have something for you! Some more dates, good right?

Well, we will start touring in May, we will do Green Day's tour opening spot, because I am such a fan of Billie Joe, I really think he is the best singer all time of a punk band. I'm so modest that I didn't consider myself in the top10 of that list. (because i'm above god)

In june, we will be doing some small shows in mexican restaurants because i just love Mexican food and i want to be that fat again! Some people told me i was quite thinner than last year! no way! I want to look healthy and pretty, and you all know that today "Fat people is fashion".
In july i will head to be a roadie of the GUNS AND ROSES's stadium tour. Since I was a kid it has been my greatest dream. I will love to meet Axl and his braids, that by the way, are so much cooler than mines.

Well, and because I need money, just because of that, we will do some stupid shows for that stupid europeans. They're too stupid but they pay!And this is business people!
I'm glad that European people don't have internet to see this. Don't tell them! It's our secret!

I hope I see you all, all along the way!

(I just love to steal other people's lines!)

Emily_offspring_fan
03-17-2009, 12:17 PM
LOL that was funny:D you're great!

bouncingcoles
03-18-2009, 04:35 PM
why do i even go on these boards.......

hangovered
03-18-2009, 04:45 PM
How could I not notice a new note? Thanks Ron, I know why I join that boards;)

RonWelty
03-18-2009, 05:00 PM
How could I not notice a new note? Thanks Ron, I know why I join that boards;)

thanks ;) i will try to do this more often

RonWelty
03-20-2009, 03:52 AM
I was reading all my false journals and forgive me but they are so fuckin funny! Should I do this more often?

Rutegard
03-20-2009, 04:12 AM
I was reading all my false journals and forgive me but they are so fuckin funny! Should I do this more often?

your ego is really high today huh?

(just today....lol)

RonWelty
03-20-2009, 04:17 AM
your ego is really high today huh?

(just today....lol)

No my Ego is really High everyday, but at least I'm clear about that and I have some facts to sustain that.

Rutegard
03-20-2009, 04:19 AM
No my Ego is really High everyday, but at least I'm clear about that and I have some facts to sustain that.

at least in some of them, yeah :P i agree with you
but if ya wanna know my opinion....just keep fucking writing, u should also perform some stories instead just journals, thats my advice :p and try to move to noodles and the rest of them, should be funny too.

hangovered
03-20-2009, 04:34 AM
I was reading all my false journals and forgive me but they are so fuckin funny! Should I do this more often?

How many more times should I tell you I can't wait for next part of Dexer's journal?

Ruty, no offence, but no Noodle here-it's Dexter's only(oh,our fake Dexy and his megalomania) :p

Rutegard
03-20-2009, 04:37 AM
How many more times should I tell you I can't wait for next part of Dexer's journal?

Ruty, no offence, but no Noodle here-it's Dexter's only(oh,our fake Dexy and his megalomania) :p

u dex dependent lovers, shame on u guys lolol :PP

hangovered
03-20-2009, 04:43 AM
u dex dependent lovers, shame on u guys lolol :PP

Im addicted of loving Dexy, shame on me :p

Trek
03-22-2009, 03:17 AM
Why so negative to Europe? Cool journal anywayz, fingers crossed to see them live this year.

RonWelty
03-22-2009, 03:49 AM
Why so negative to Europe? Cool journal anywayz, fingers crossed to see them live this year.

I'm just kidding! i'm an European too.

iPunk247
03-24-2009, 06:35 PM
methinks you should win an award for all of your journals or something like dat.an oscar one HAHA it still makes me smile and laugh and just simply beautiful.

RonWelty
03-24-2009, 06:38 PM
methinks you should win an award for all of your journals or something like dat.an oscar one HAHA it still makes me smile and laugh and just simply beautiful.

It would be nice if dexter posted something.

iPunk247
03-24-2009, 08:22 PM
It would be nice if dexter posted something.

then there you go. anything is possible. =) =) =) xD