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View Full Version : Dealing with the loss of a pet



KHWHD
03-16-2009, 10:06 PM
My Mom has to put her cat Morris down tomorrow. He's nearly 17 but it kills me to think how different it will be when I go to visit my parents and he's no longer there. Mom said he's puking a lot and pee'ing all over the place so she figures it's his time to go.

How do you deal with the loss of a pet? It's heartbreaking.

Llamas
03-16-2009, 10:09 PM
I try to decide which sides I think it'd go best with.

KHWHD
03-16-2009, 10:13 PM
I try to decide which sides I think it'd go best with.

Huh? :confused:

Al Coholic
03-16-2009, 11:27 PM
Alcohol....

Thomas
03-16-2009, 11:34 PM
Yeah, my 20-year old cat died a few months ago, but we all knew it was coming and that it was his time. I don't think there was too much sadness around it, only for the fact that he wasn't too happy anymore.

Llamas
03-16-2009, 11:39 PM
Alcohol....

Are you saying that alcohol goes well with cat... or that you get drunk to deal with the loss? :P

Outerspaceman21
03-17-2009, 03:34 AM
Well, I cried when my dog died when I was 13.

My mom got this bunny and we had her for like 4 years and it died last december. She was balling. I've never seen her so sad.

I don't what I would do if I lost my cat because I've had her for like almost 10 years.

T-6005
03-17-2009, 12:33 PM
My grandmother's cat died a few years back. It was born before I was and actually managed to make it to 20, but by the end of its life it was blind and just wasn't really doing anything but knocking into shit and getting sick all the time.

I was sad when my grandmother put it down. My family's cat on the other hand I still somehow don't consider dead. I moved out a year or so before it died and it died of snakebite - it feels pretty far removed from me.

Anka
03-17-2009, 12:46 PM
My dog died last week. He was relatively young, just 6 and half years. It was terrible, the worst was, that he died in my hands and I couldnt help him. My mother said, that she has never seen my father crying before. But time heals, slowly, but it does. And we have a new puppy since saturday and it helps quite a lot...

bighead384
03-17-2009, 01:02 PM
I try to decide which sides I think it'd go best with.

What the hell does this mean?

Flux
03-17-2009, 03:37 PM
I try to decide which sides I think it'd go best with.

:p Donít forget the Hot sauce!

_Lost_
03-17-2009, 03:58 PM
i cried when each of the 4 cats that my grandparents had died. especially with daisy and andre. especially with andre. people would always comment about me and that cat because i was the only one he'd let pick him up and carry him around.

my friend's dog got hit by a car a couple years ago. he was the sweetest pomeranian i've ever met. she called me after it happened and i cried. that dog was really really great because he used to like to ride around in the car ALL the time and he would sit in my lap sometimes.

my dad's dog is 16. she's really starting to show her age. she and i have been super close since my bro up and moved out of my dad's house. I'll probably flip when she goes. totally broken heart when we lose her.

my mom's cats and my dog are all still young so I can't even begin to contemplate what it would be like to lose them.

Flux
03-17-2009, 04:02 PM
My Fishi died. He went down the toilet to fishy heaven (my mother tossed him on the fire!). I cried. I took the day off school and ate chocolate.

Rag Doll
03-17-2009, 05:05 PM
It's incredibly hard when a pet dies. My cat died in January 2009. He got very sick out of the blue and we had to put him down. I was so upset. I'm really going to be lost when my dog dies though - she's the most beautiful little creature in the world in my eyes and I love her like a child. She's pretty old (going to be 12 in a few months), so I'm kinda trying to prepare for it...

I'm sorry, Shank =\

KHWHD
03-17-2009, 05:54 PM
It's incredibly hard when a pet dies. My cat died in January 2009. He got very sick out of the blue and we had to put him down. I was so upset. I'm really going to be lost when my dog dies though - she's the most beautiful little creature in the world in my eyes and I love her like a child. She's pretty old (going to be 12 in a few months), so I'm kinda trying to prepare for it...

I'm sorry, Shank =\

It sucks, I know. I was just talking to my Mom and she said that Dad and a friend of his are going to take him to the vet first thing in the morning hopefully before Mom wakes up. She said she'll think it'll be easier to deal with if he's gone before she wakes up. She said he's eaten' maybe a half of a teaspoon of food all day. It's really hard to think about all the times I had to take him to the vet (years ago) because he was declawed and fixed and Mom was always too scared to take him. It's like a piece of my heart is going with him. Sounds stupid, but it's true. :(

bighead384
03-17-2009, 07:43 PM
My cat is about 12, so I've kinda been thinking about what it's going to be like when she's gone. I won't be too sad if she dies peacefully at an old age, but I'm very concerned about the whole euthanasia process. My cat is extremely anti-social and actually pretty hostile towards people she doesn't recognize. I'm afraid the veterinarian will be too rough with her and her last moments in life will be terrible. I hope not though.

Lol. Nothing more manly then crying over a cat.

Rag Doll
03-17-2009, 07:45 PM
Bighead, I know our vet lets you hold/pet the animal while they are euthanizing them so the animal isn't scared.

Llamas
03-17-2009, 08:01 PM
What the hell does this mean?


:p Donít forget the Hot sauce!

Flux gave an appropriate response.

It's a stab at the incessant jokes people make... I probably experience them more cause I own rabbits. But every time I talk about my pets to certain people (who always tend to be men) they ask what I plan on cooking them with, or tell me what to feed them for maximum flavor. I figured such was more typical and it was more an "in before ____" joke, but apparently it must just be because I own rabbits.

My chinchilla died. I was upset for about a week. My mom bought me a rabbit to replace her, but I hated rabbits. Now I adore rabbits and probably will never get another chinchilla (no matter HOW soft they are).

Bipolar Bear
03-17-2009, 08:12 PM
I lost a dog. It was pretty sad, you do grow attached to these animals.

KHWHD
03-17-2009, 08:15 PM
Bighead, I know our vet lets you hold/pet the animal while they are euthanizing them so the animal isn't scared.

Yeah, our vet is the same. Very nice, compassionate people.

Jebus
03-17-2009, 08:16 PM
I haven't had to deal with anything more tragic than a few hamsters so far. Wasn't that long ago that my brother bought a couple dogs into the house and the female ended up getting pregnant with 6 pups. Although half of them have already been adopted, I'd kill me if anything happened to them. When they were a few months old, they all ended up contracting parvo, which is supposed to have a high mortality rate. Lucky, they all survived.

Rutegard
03-18-2009, 07:32 AM
i dunno. never experienced that....yet!


but, probably im gonna do something stupid....

bighead384
03-18-2009, 02:53 PM
Bighead, I know our vet lets you hold/pet the animal while they are euthanizing them so the animal isn't scared.

I think that might be even worse for me, to actually see it die. I could be wrong though. Maybe I just have to accept that it totally sucks and that's just how it has to be.

Bipolar Bear
03-18-2009, 07:52 PM
I think that might be even worse for me, to actually see it die. I could be wrong though. Maybe I just have to accept that it totally sucks and that's just how it has to be.

I don't see an inconvenience. If I was dying, I'd want my relatives with me. It's really sad though. It's one of those times where you have to not be a pussy and start crying in front of the vet.

Rag Doll
03-18-2009, 07:59 PM
It may suck for you, but your pet would be less scared, as long as you keep from crying. You know? I'd rather make their last moments a bit better for them than for me.

Bipolar Bear
03-18-2009, 08:01 PM
It may suck for you, but your pet would be less scared, as long as you keep from crying. You know? I'd rather make their last moments a bit better for them than for me.

Yeah, exactly my thoughts. It seems respectful for the pet. Dumping it at the vet to get killed then running away is pretty lame.

bighead384
03-18-2009, 08:26 PM
Yeah, you're right. I'll just have to deal with it when the day comes.

Bipolar Bear
03-18-2009, 08:44 PM
Yeah, you're right. I'll just have to deal with it when the day comes.

Yeah, good luck man. I'm not especially looking forward to it either. Thankfully my dog is only 7. I'll miss it when it dies. Usually, I think it's best to get a new pet right away. It's the best way to deal with the grief.

Bipolar Bear
03-18-2009, 09:01 PM
not crying? ....good luck.. : (

I thought that I was tough as nails, but
when it comes time,, it is harder than I imagined.

It seems every OTHER time ALSO comes up..
surging up.... from my gut..and it hurts so bad,
it never gets easier.....

The only thing you can do, is face it as best you can,
and know it is hard, and KNOW, that no one is
worthy to judge you,,ESP NOT THE VET ..

I have held all of my freinds as they went....and...it is bad.

I personally believe it takes 3 days for the soul to leave
the body, so I always lay my friends out on a favorite towel,
and I make sure they "are gone" before I bury them.

PS
I invented a drink called "cats milk"
It is 1/2 Absolute vodka, 1/2 Bailys irish cream,
with a splash of water .....slam it...slam 4-5 of these,
it is ok to numb the pain...maybe it is : ( I dont know....but it helps me..

I hate death of others..
I dont care about me going..that will be easy.

At the risk of sounding gay, I want to hug you.

KHWHD
03-18-2009, 09:28 PM
I hate to sound insensitive but I had my dog (Sheba) "put down" and cremated in 1998 and she was 7. God damn cancer. :mad:

http://img22.imageshack.us/img22/281/50368288.jpg

http://img25.imageshack.us/img25/9606/83538026.jpg

http://img17.imageshack.us/img17/4223/50447744.jpg

Rutegard
03-19-2009, 04:03 AM
oh Shank i could never do that. i guess that when my dog dies im so gonna "hide" everything related to him. no frame pictures, no more this username, no more photos of him, no dog stuff that was his in the house...i think it will be better for me. i guess.


edit: just thinking about that possibility makes me cry like a baby, how would i keep myself from crying if im standing by my dog when he's been euthanized? and i dont wanna cry in front of him. but on a second guess, they know everything so if im really really sad and trying not to cry, he would know that either way! im such a loser.

Paint_It_Black
03-20-2009, 01:14 AM
My Mom has to put her cat Morris down tomorrow. He's nearly 17 but it kills me to think how different it will be when I go to visit my parents and he's no longer there.

No, it kills Morris.

Have you considered taxidermy?

Flux
03-20-2009, 10:53 AM
When people/family/pets die, I run away. So it’s obvious I would suck for advice in this thread.


At the risk of sounding gay, I want to hug you.

You can hug me. You know? If you aint busy or anythin'....

Bipolar Bear
03-20-2009, 05:35 PM
Yeah, of course, I'm never busy when it comes to hugging the needy.
..you did lose a pet or something like that guy right? :rolleyes:

JoY
03-20-2009, 05:47 PM
you must be kidding me. if you can't deal with the loss of a pet, how are you planning on dealing with greater losses in your life? it's inevitable. I understand you don't live to that day & constantly prepare yourself for the logical loss of everything you love that is mortal, but to some level I think it'd be wise to realise from time to time things like these happen. it's just nature.

if a pet is worth so many frowny faces & mourning, it must've been one hell of a pet. & it must've had one hell of a life, with people loving it so dearly, probably spoiling it like crazy. right? the joy the pet gave you, the great life you were able to give it, the fact you got to spend it's lifetime with it.. those are things to keep in mind & to remember.

although my initial reaction may have come across as cold & harsh (& I meant it mostly in a "come onnn girl, you can handle this!"-kind of way), I have a huuuge soft spot for every pet we've ever had. when my parents put down our dog a few years ago, I definitely had to swallow a heavy lump in my throat & sometimes I still come home, expect the sweetheart to greet me & look disappointed at the spot where she always used to sleep. that dog, oh man, I probably sound the same as anyone about their own pet, but that dog was absolutely brilliant & fantastic & yes, I still miss her sometimes. the same goes for the dog we had, before we took her in as a little pup. but logically seeing, you know there'll be a time to say goodbye. & the way I see it, I wouldn't ever would've wanted to miss out on the pets we had. it probably sounds strange, but those pets & I, as long as every one of their lives lasted, we had a fantastic time & I'm happy for having spent their lifetime together.

Bipolar Bear
03-20-2009, 06:06 PM
you must be kidding me. if you can't deal with the loss of a pet, how are you planning on dealing with greater losses in your life? it's inevitable. I understand you don't live to that day & constantly prepare yourself for the logical loss of everything you love that is mortal, but to some level I think it'd be wise to realise from time to time things like these happen. it's just nature.

if a pet is worth so many frowny faces & mourning, it must've been one hell of a pet. & it must've had one hell of a life, with people loving it so dearly, probably spoiling it like crazy. right? the joy the pet gave you, the great life you were able to give it, the fact you got to spend it's lifetime with it.. those are things to keep in mind & to remember.

although my initial reaction may have come across as cold & harsh (& I meant it mostly in a "come onnn girl, you can handle this!"-kind of way), I have a huuuge soft spot for every pet we've ever had. when my parents put down our dog a few years ago, I definitely had to swallow a heavy lump in my throat & sometimes I still come home, expect the sweetheart to greet me & look disappointed at the spot where she always used to sleep. that dog, oh man, I probably sound the same as anyone about their own pet, but that dog was absolutely brilliant & fantastic & yes, I still miss her sometimes. the same goes for the dog we had, before we took her in as a little pup. but logically seeing, you know there'll be a time to say goodbye. & the way I see it, I wouldn't ever would've wanted to miss out on the pets we had. it probably sounds strange, but those pets & I, as long as every one of their lives lasted, we had a fantastic time & I'm happy for having spent their lifetime together.

Some people have little else. I remember knowing a little girl that got beaten by her grandfather. All she had in her life was her dog. Her grandfather lived with her family. They wouldn't even allow her to go to school; she got homeschooled. They also pretended not to believe her when she said she got beaten. Her mom denied it to whoever she tried to tell it to.

When she lost her dog, she lost her best friend. It was horrible for her.
I got her to call the cops, though, about the grandfather. She's okay now.

I guess what I mean is that it's relative. Some people value their pet a lot more than others, we shouldn't judge them for it.

JoY
03-20-2009, 07:05 PM
examples really just don't work in emotional issues. emotions are subjective, they can't be compared between two seperate beings. there's no way of meassuring an emotion & there's no way to tell if it's even really the same emotion. emotions are different in everyone & are different for everyone. so how much a pet means to you & which part it has in your life is only relevant to the owner of the pet. like it's only relevant for me what my dog specifically meant to me & what part she had in my life. it isn't relevant in this conversation, because it isn't relevant for anyone else, since I can't put my emotion in someone else to feel what I feel & see who's more entitled to their love & grief. love & grief are things you can't help but feel, you can't rationally justify them. the fact you feel these things automatically justifies them, since you just can't help it.

aside from that, this is not about who feels the most of a strong emotion (like love for a pet, sadness over losing a pet), this is about dealing with a strong emotion.

beside that point, most pets won't outlive their owner, rationally seeing. I think it's something that's reasonable to take into account, when you let it into your life & into your heart. you can pretend it's going to live forever, but is it rational, is it reasonable? can you demand such a thing from a creature that's just mortal? I know it's hard in emotional issues not to lose track of reason, but it's pretty much for your own good. because how can you find any acceptance in your life & overcome loss, if you never stop to think about how special time you spend with your pet, or any mortal creature you love, actually is? the realisation doesn't only help with coming to a state of acceptance & overcoming a loss, it also helps with appreciating the time you have with something/someone, as long as it lasts.

ps. again, I know I probably came off cold in my first post here, but that's not because I don't recognise & acknowledge you can feel sadness after losing a pet, or because I don't think anyone's entitled to feel emotions like that. it's because a loss like this is inevitable & comes with owning a pet. it's because I feel you shouldn't wade around in negative emotions for too long, before dealing with them & assembling yourself again.

JoY
03-21-2009, 08:01 AM
hmmm. *sighs*

you can't value between individuals who "values" their pet more. there are many different kinds of love & love as an objective emotion has a different effect on each individual & is only subjectively experienced.

again, everyone is entitled to the love they feel for their pet & for the grief they feel over the loss of it, because you can't help but feel the emotions you feel. they don't have to be logically analysed, rationalised & justified, because emotions & logic/reason are two seperate things. that's why the word "value" seems a bit misplaced here. you can't objectively determine, or estimate the worth, or value of a pet in someone's life.

having said this, I would never judge anyone for feelings they have for their pet, or after the loss of a pet. I didn't mean to say Shank isn't intitled to her feelings & shouldn't feel bad for having lost her pet, what I said was more of a heads-up. asking a message board how to deal with the loss of a pet after all isn't really the most constructive approach, when it comes to actually dealing with the loss of a pet, since it implies inability to accept death & loss.

you have me for someone I'm not. aside from what I just said, I can't put into words what our last dog meant to me & I totally understand a pet can be of great meaning in someone's life.


right. I really don't want to go into this any further. I came back to this topic, because I wanted to ask Shank to tell us more about her cat.

KHWHD
03-21-2009, 08:25 AM
I came back to this topic, because I wanted to ask Shank to tell us more about her cat.

Morris was 'put down' on Wed. morning. Everyone seems to be dealing with it ok. Mom said that their dog (Luckie) is missing him. He always used to play with him after he ate and is noticing now that Morris is gone. Mom said last night that both her and Dad said that they heard a cat "meowing." But there isn't a cat there anymore. Weird. Maybe they're just thinking they're hearing him. Thanks for caring.

JoY
03-21-2009, 09:18 AM
Morris was 'put down' on Wed. morning. Everyone seems to be dealing with it ok. Mom said that their dog (Luckie) is missing him. He always used to play with him after he ate and is noticing now that Morris is gone. Mom said last night that both her and Dad said that they heard a cat "meowing." But there isn't a cat there anymore. Weird. Maybe they're just thinking they're hearing him. Thanks for caring.

what kind of cat was it & colour did he have? do you have a picture?

Rutegard
03-21-2009, 02:23 PM
what kind of cat was it & colour did he have? do you have a picture?

does it really matter? :P

and...i guess she was trying to see if anyone else had gone trough the same or something...and if they could eventually help her out by telling her their experiences. sorry Shank not really my case. i wish i could help.
just, get another cat!

KHWHD
03-21-2009, 07:43 PM
what kind of cat was it & colour did he have? do you have a picture?

This pic. was taken of him about a week before -- you know.

http://img6.imageshack.us/img6/4015/morris.jpg

JoY
03-22-2009, 03:37 PM
does it really matter? :P

and...i guess she was trying to see if anyone else had gone trough the same or something...and if they could eventually help her out by telling her their experiences. sorry Shank not really my case. i wish i could help.
just, get another cat!

naaaaw, you can't just replace a pet like teaspoon!

& sure, why wouldn't it matter what her cat looked like & was like? *pssst* telling specific details about your pet reminds you of the pet itself & moments you had. it really makes you appreciate all those times that much more. for instance, when I tell about the last dog we had, I always mention she was a black big pile of goodness, always aiming to please you. I always include the fact she was black & big. like, it was part of the whole animal, together with all the other good stuff.

Rutegard
03-22-2009, 03:41 PM
naaaaw, you can't just replace a pet like teaspoon!

& sure, why wouldn't it matter what her cat looked like & was like? *pssst* telling specific details about your pet reminds you of the pet itself & moments you had. it really makes you appreciate all those times that much more. for instance, when I tell about the last dog we had, I always mention she was a black big pile of goodness, always aiming to please you. I always include the fact she was black & big. like, it was part of the whole animal, together with all the other good stuff.

but you are strong.
and it works just fine with you.

it wouldn't work that well with me. if my pet dies one day, just even pronouncing his name would make me cry like a baby. i know it. i feel it. so, really, asking me how my dog looked like when he is already dead? it would be tortuous! does that make any sense?

JoY
03-22-2009, 03:48 PM
sometimes torture is extremely healing.

Rutegard
03-22-2009, 03:49 PM
sometimes torture is extremely healing.

i would be severely dehidrated before the healing thing comes and get me. :P

JoY
03-22-2009, 03:51 PM
people can handle more than they think they can. believe me, I've handled more than I ever thought I could.

Rutegard
03-22-2009, 03:53 PM
people can handle more than they think they can. believe me, I've handled more than I ever thought I could.

that is actually what keeps me going. maybe i will surprise myself one day. in a positive way. yeah, if others can, why can't i?