View Full Version : Texts From Last Night

05-07-2009, 12:47 PM
A new addiction (http://textsfromlastnight.com/)

05-07-2009, 01:36 PM
I love it. thanks for sharing that link!

05-07-2009, 01:41 PM
Oh my god. My dreams have come true:eek::D

05-07-2009, 01:43 PM

(678): why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
(770): I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle

05-07-2009, 01:56 PM
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Oh my god there's just too many for my signature:(

05-07-2009, 02:48 PM
I don't understand this at all? What are this site supposed to be about?

Bipolar Bear
05-07-2009, 02:49 PM
I don't understand this at all? What are this site supposed to be about?

Funny cell phone text messages

05-07-2009, 02:53 PM
Funny cell phone text messages

I kinda figured that out, but... Ah, nevermind.

First time I've been sigged btw :p

05-07-2009, 02:54 PM
A new addiction (http://textsfromlastnight.com/)

oh lord.. this is awesomeness! :)

Bipolar Bear
05-07-2009, 03:21 PM
First time I've been sigged btw :p

Your post was too hilarious and clever to ignore!

05-07-2009, 03:43 PM
I find this in every way preferable to FML.

(631): He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on

Rag Doll
05-07-2009, 04:04 PM
(619): I want to have your abortion

is that someone from here?

05-07-2009, 07:40 PM
Heres a funny one

(209): dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
(1-209): nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all

I have a friend like this, doesnt care whatsoever, he did a mexican prostitute on a bed with no sheets.

EDIT: about 10 minutes after his buddy did the same thing.

05-07-2009, 08:34 PM
oh man oh man oh man. why'd you have to show me this ricky??

05-07-2009, 08:35 PM
I like this. It is better then FML, and I love FML.

05-07-2009, 08:46 PM
hey, this one is awesome *-*

(917): what time did you get home last night?
(1-917): SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
(1-917): He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott

05-08-2009, 08:07 AM
(619): I want to have your abortion

is that someone from here?

Unfortunately Fight Club is what made it famous.

05-08-2009, 03:23 PM
(540): I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.

(615): drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.

(610): can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
(1-610): who is canola oil?
(610): you're an idiot.

(413): I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on

(206): I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
(425): There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian

(309): dude do u know what u did last night?
(1-309): do i wanna know???
(309): you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...

(517): dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..

(216): Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
(440): Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
(216): Holy shit r u serious? How?
(440): Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.

(814): I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive

(646): party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.

(636): dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
(1-636): when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced

(570): why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
(1-570): you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911

(281): ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
(214): Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.

(757): DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
(703): I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.

(330): I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.


(512): Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer


(860): I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
(860): fuckk wrong person
(1-860):.. who was that for? a girlscout?

(201): whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc

(417): He has such a weird drunk-voice.
(1-417): dude, he's deaf.

(480): U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together

(804): Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
(1-804): wow, that really makes you stop and think.

(410): Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was

(913): i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
(816): i think im in thre room next to you

(203): I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.

(546): Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.

(925): This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class

(561): Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.

05-08-2009, 07:17 PM
I'm glad you all enjoy this! I don't even have to contribute now :P

05-08-2009, 08:12 PM
I say we start a thread titled "YOUR texts from last night" where we post funny texts we receive. it has the potential to be either amazing or just horribly wrong

05-08-2009, 08:23 PM
(650): from now on my penis is your penis
This is better than bash.

(843): the red head has a bf
(1-843): just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score

This is sadly true for me:

(305): Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.

(201): now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone

05-08-2009, 08:31 PM
I say we start a thread titled "YOUR texts from last night" where we post funny texts we receive. it has the potential to be either amazing or just horribly wrong

Yes yes yes yes.

05-08-2009, 08:35 PM
.. well im not doin it haha

05-08-2009, 08:55 PM
Yes yes yes yes.
I concur.

(202): He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I was in a conversation the other day involving this sentence.

05-08-2009, 10:14 PM
Mann I dont know if anyone is going to want to admit to their messages, or if they are anything like mine, it will be like

Me: skdjfsd lkjfaksjf lskdjfldskjf!!!! :):):)

Friend: okay?

05-08-2009, 11:08 PM
Yesterday I spent my whole day reading those. I had to write my Bachelor thesis but I couldn't. Thank you Ricky for me being late.

05-09-2009, 02:17 AM
(646): ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
(812): ?
(646): Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?

I've done something to this effect before.

05-09-2009, 02:32 AM
(619): I want to have your abortion

is that someone from here?

oh my god! I mean, oh my god!! hahahahaha!!!!!

05-09-2009, 02:47 AM
Unfortunately Fight Club is what made it famous.

you just entirely ruined it. *frownieface*

05-09-2009, 11:10 AM
(203): I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.

05-09-2009, 11:42 AM
(763): Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.

05-09-2009, 01:34 PM
(703): Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight

If anyone is interested, my name starts with a j and i have sociopathic tendencies.

05-09-2009, 01:38 PM
If anyone is interested, my name starts with a j and i have sociopathic tendencies.

I don't see how that's funny.

05-09-2009, 05:20 PM
(217): What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.


05-09-2009, 10:28 PM
I don't see how that's funny.

I kind of regret posting that.

I'll go put my face in the wall of shame now.

05-09-2009, 10:33 PM
(507): I want your puppy
(507): I meant pussy
(612): I would rather you take my puppy

LOLOLOL soo awesome.

05-11-2009, 10:22 AM
Here are some newer ones:

(989): Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.

(909): dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.

(919): great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with

(508): If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it

(702): I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.

05-12-2009, 10:22 PM
(919): What are we going to do tonight?
(704): What we try to do every night. Take over the world
This! I want to shake this person's hand.

05-13-2009, 02:43 AM
This! I want to shake this person's hand.

It must be Tijs.

05-13-2009, 05:49 PM
(269): Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to

(650): Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?

I have the feeling these two are related.

05-15-2009, 03:32 AM
This! I want to shake this person's hand.

I had to contain a full on laugh to avoid a class of people staring at me.

I dont think I get this site though :S So people post in the text in their inbox/outbox the morning after? Or do they send the text to the website or what? Someone care to break this down real easy for me?