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View Full Version : Happiness and how its gauged.



Omni
06-01-2009, 03:10 AM
I was thinking about something that I think crosses everyone's mind several times in their life, and something we all have to make relative peace with: What will ultimately make each of us happy, and how/if we wanted to be remembered.

I am honestly really perplexed by how vastly differently two people can think, especially about something as important as this. A lot of people seem to have big dreams of being a rockstar or something to that effect, and seem like they'll never be truly happy until they get it. Other people seem just fine with living the quiet life in the middle of the woods somewhere. Why do you think it is that some people pity those who get married and think they've wasted their lives? I think fame is more of a disease, personally. And I also realize that a lot of people like me say stuff like that because they've come to terms with the fact that they'll never attain fame/vast riches/the supermodel girlfriend/whatever else they crave so they tell themselves they never wanted it in the first place, but I honestly do think I wouldn't be happy if I were famous. I'd have to live with the constant paranoid thought that all of my relationships are a lie, and that all my friends are superficial. The constant lack of privacy would also be a huge issue.

So what do you guys think? What are your ultimate goals in life? Do you think things like having a family are a complete waste of time? Do you want to be millionaires? And another thing, what's your take on things like pregnancy very young? When someone between the ages of 17 and 21 become pregnant, the outlook is almost always bleak. People will always talk about how their lives are ruined, how they're stuck with one person forever, or how they'll never get to do anything they wanted. I mean, surely it can't be that bad for these people, right? I know lots of people who had children very young, and some of them seem pretty content.

Truthfully, even though being born around the Age of Information means we have access to all sorts of nifty things, I kind of regret being born in this era. It really sucks to sit down and question things like this, and the levels of stress that common people deal with these days is mind boggling. I kind of do wish I came from a simpler time, when me and everyone I knew could be happy owning a farm or something.

WebDudette
06-01-2009, 03:15 AM
I will definitely read this in the morning when I am not drunk. But I want to point something out. People always comment 'how can so and so commit suicide they have such a good life compared to africans straving to death etc. etc.' It is not based on the overall quality of life, it is based soley on thier life, and how they feel and what not. Ugh, explaining shit when I am drunk is bad. I'll try to elaborate tomorrow.

ad8
06-01-2009, 03:38 AM
lol. This is pretty much material for three threads, but whatever. I'll comment on the famous/happy life thing.

I think it depends mostly on the perspective. If someone is born in the woods and is growing up without the mass media, he might just be happy when he can lie in the sun for 2 hours a day. If someone is born in a city and grows up with other people around him, there is always pressure and dreams constituted by the ideology of the culture.
I am pretty much an unhappy person because I always think that my life sucks and I'll never accomplish my goals in life, but when I sit down and think about it, I always get to the thought of "Whatever, the only rule of life is that everyone has to die at some point, so decide what you want to do before."
I might as well buy a hut in the mountains and live happily until I die, but I always liked the thought of gloriously fighting against the problems and not running away better. I guess I'm just too fucking romantic;)

Rag Doll
06-01-2009, 10:17 AM
I was thinking about something that I think crosses everyone's mind several times in their life, and something we all have to make relative peace with: What will ultimately make each of us happy, and how/if we wanted to be remembered.

I am honestly really perplexed by how vastly differently two people can think, especially about something as important as this. A lot of people seem to have big dreams of being a rockstar or something to that effect, and seem like they'll never be truly happy until they get it. Other people seem just fine with living the quiet life in the middle of the woods somewhere. Why do you think it is that some people pity those who get married and think they've wasted their lives? I think fame is more of a disease, personally. And I also realize that a lot of people like me say stuff like that because they've come to terms with the fact that they'll never attain fame/vast riches/the supermodel girlfriend/whatever else they crave so they tell themselves they never wanted it in the first place, but I honestly do think I wouldn't be happy if I were famous. I'd have to live with the constant paranoid thought that all of my relationships are a lie, and that all my friends are superficial. The constant lack of privacy would also be a huge issue.

So what do you guys think? What are your ultimate goals in life? Do you think things like having a family are a complete waste of time? Do you want to be millionaires? And another thing, what's your take on things like pregnancy very young? When someone between the ages of 17 and 21 become pregnant, the outlook is almost always bleak. People will always talk about how their lives are ruined, how they're stuck with one person forever, or how they'll never get to do anything they wanted. I mean, surely it can't be that bad for these people, right? I know lots of people who had children very young, and some of them seem pretty content.

Truthfully, even though being born around the Age of Information means we have access to all sorts of nifty things, I kind of regret being born in this era. It really sucks to sit down and question things like this, and the levels of stress that common people deal with these days is mind boggling. I kind of do wish I came from a simpler time, when me and everyone I knew could be happy owning a farm or something.

I was actually thinking about parts of this last night, lying in bed trying to sleep with the boyfriend snoring in my ear.

On Wednesday, we are going to be house and dog-sitting for my former professor/mentor and her husband. She is a decently famous feminist scholar who currently teaches college. He works a 9-5 with no recognition, but makes good money and is happy. They have no children, just the dogs. They live in the middle of the woods in northern NJ...in fact, she just sent me an email to warn me about the bears they've had in the yard lately. Basically, they have the life we want. EXACTLY the life we want. They are extremely happy. And we get a slight taste of that this week, minus the job thing. And I think this *would* make us really happy.

I guess that really describes my ultimate goals. I want to be a professor and a decently famous feminist scholar. He wants to be a school psychologist. We both want to make a lot of money. We want a big house that has a lot of property, but not so far away from "civilization" that there isn't anything to do. We want dogs, but not kids. I don't necessarily view a "family" as a waste of time. I kind of understand why people would want children, I guess. However, I view him as my "family" and I don't feel a need to have kids (though, if that eventually changed, we'd adopt).

As for having kids young....not for me. I'd rather have kids young instead of old, however you also need to be able to provide for them which can be very difficult at a young age...

Outerspaceman21
06-01-2009, 10:45 AM
My goals right now is to finish college and get a steady job. For longterm, I really want to be a writer and a musician.

I've wanted to be a writer ever since I was a little kid. It's something I knew I was good at and it made me feel like I was worth something. I want to tell interedting story and have the feeling of people saying, "Hey, I read you story and it was really good."

As for music, I've wanted to be in a band for a long time. When I was sophmore is high school, a friend of mine took me to his band free show at his house. I was genuinely inspired and since then I've wanted to start a band and make music.

If I can make these things happen, I will reach where I wanna be in my life.

Bipolar Bear
06-01-2009, 10:53 AM
I will definitely read this in the morning when I am not drunk. But I want to point something out. People always comment 'how can so and so commit suicide they have such a good life compared to africans straving to death etc. etc.' It is not based on the overall quality of life, it is based soley on thier life, and how they feel and what not. Ugh, explaining shit when I am drunk is bad. I'll try to elaborate tomorrow.

Poor people in Africa can be happier than some wealthy people here. Wealth does not necessarily lead to happiness. You get used to what you have anyway.

But I think you meant the ones which literally starve, though, which are another matter entirely, where poorness directly to leads physical suffering. And even then, those people may love life more than a wealthy suicidal person and want to continue it, and fight against their problems.

You've got two situations: someone fighting against an imposed death, and someone wanting to die. There are people frustrated against suicidal ones for not appreciating their life when others are losing their life and would desperately want to keep it. The thing is, if someone commits a suicide, it doesn't negatively affect the life chances of another, so it's kind of irrelevant. You can't force someone to like something, and he's not taking away anything from anyone, except maybe saddening people who knew him.

It's not like, "by taking away your life you're hurting the people who want to keep theirs." It's really a personal choice.

RageAndLov
06-01-2009, 11:24 AM
I wish that when I'm older I will not have a regular job. I would like a life where I can do what I want, and perhaps live off the things I do.

I saw an interview recently of a band that has just released a new album. They are super-rich and have been that for 15 years. When asked if being in a band and making records and touring felt like a job, all the bandmembers easily said no. And that is something I get really jealous of! I also want to do something I really like without feeling it as a job.

Working a 9-5 job is not my way, but the older I get the more I realise that is probably what I will end up with. I hope I just will really like the job I end up with.

I don't think I need much money to be happy, just enough to live a decent life doing what I want.

AllIn All It's Not So Bad
06-01-2009, 01:42 PM
I wish that when I'm older I will not have a regular job. I would like a life where I can do what I want, and perhaps live off the things I do.I saw an interview recently of a band that has just released a new album. They are super-rich and have been that for 15 years. When asked if being in a band and making records and touring felt like a job, all the bandmembers easily said no. And that is something I get really jealous of! I also want to do something I really like without feeling it as a job.Working a 9-5 job is not my way, but the older I get the more I realise that is probably what I will end up with. I hope I just will really like the job I end up with.I don't think I need much money to be happy, just enough to live a decent life doing what I want.

i know, man! growing up to graduate from collage and then get a job with a wife and 2 kids,seems boring. if i we were rich i would raise a family cuz u get to do exciting things like goinng to exotic places, surfing, jumping off from a plane, bungy junping etc. i wouldn't mind raising a family as long as i have something fun to do. if i was famous i wouldn't care cuz with fame comes money, and with money comes a budget for interesting activities and surprises

Skinny
06-02-2009, 08:02 PM
I'm generally a fairly private person, I mean I don't shut myself into a room and close all of the blinds, but I appreciate the privacy of normality. That being said, a 9-5 job isn't something that would deeply interest me or keep me content. My dream is of becoming a professional athlete (basketball) but as I get older I realize the chances of this are shrinking.
I'm not really interested in any careers, and am still unsure of my plans for the future. I would obviously love to play in the NBA and to have the financial benefits associated with the profession. I wouldn't want my family to feel limited by finacial well-being, but I am well aware that the chances of making it are small.
In conclusion.. I have the 'ultimate goal' but no back-up plan. I'm still young however and in the future I may find something else that interests me.

WebDudette
06-02-2009, 08:25 PM
Poor people in Africa can be happier than some wealthy people here. Wealth does not necessarily lead to happiness. You get used to what you have anyway.

I agree with you, I don't know how I came across. But that is basically what I mean. 'Why are all these dentists committing suicide, but people with AIDS are fighting on?' Suicide isn't a relative thing. Hmm... I'm still now sure I am getting my point across.

Free?
06-03-2009, 02:27 AM
Happiness = when you are what you want to be, have what you want to have (include family, relationships etc here), do what you want to do and still you have some goals to achieve. There's no exact definition because it depends on person's inner world and the world around him/her.

Offspring-Junkie
06-03-2009, 10:08 AM
I don't want to become famous. I want to become average Joe with wife and kids and boring job. Well, not too boring, but boring compared to rock star life.
But happiness is different from person to person. Freddie Mercury enjoyed every second beeing a famous entertainer while Kurt Cobain shot himself although beeing rich and famous.

I once met a doctor a few years ago. He studied a different subject although he already finished medicine and was practicing as a doctor. So I asked him: "Why do you do that? You already have a good job." He replied: "Well, imagine you were finished with your education and would have a good job. What would you do afterwards?" I had no clue what he was talking about. Now I think I understand.

[[Meli.x]]
06-03-2009, 04:29 PM
I am nearly 17 and studying for my A levels in college... I want to go to university and get upto a Masters Degree in Forensic Psychology, but before i die, i will complete a PhD in the subject. I hope to become a Prison Psychologist, hopefully working with more... extreme cases.

I will be happy working all day and night, because it is something i love. However, i want at least 2 children, and to look after my prospective husband, but i want to have financial security before i do. When i do have children, i hope to be a classic housewife. My partner is adiment in joining the fire service, and i would like to be the type of woman that every man wants... i want to cook for him and to wash his clothes and to raise our children respectively. But i also want the career, so i have the option to go back to it when the children are old enough.

I want a normal life, with a family and a job.
Fame is my worst nightmare.. really, it is.