PDA

View Full Version : The official woman-troubles thread



Al Coholic
06-02-2009, 07:39 AM
I noticed a lot of you have problems with relationships (men and women) and start your own threads where you recieve terrible advice from people who have no place giving it; various virgins and people with extreme social awkwardness(so awkward it shows through on the internet). Ask here, Al's got you.

Outerspaceman21
06-02-2009, 07:42 AM
Thats Al for you. Always thinking of others.

Bipolar Bear
06-02-2009, 09:25 AM
Good thing we have Al, a real expert. What would we do without him?

_Lost_
06-02-2009, 10:15 AM
I've found myself in a bit of a predicament. I've got this online friend. She's 41 and I'm 19. We've been friends for quite a while. The problem is that right now she wants me to come over to her house and sneak in through her bedroom window because her kids are still up. I don't know what to do here. I'm sitting outside her house right now. She's smokin' hot and all my friends are telling me to go for it, but I don't know if she's got a husband in that bedroom or what. What should I do?

I caught the start of Loveline last night. This was the first call they took. :-/

Oxygene
06-02-2009, 10:37 AM
I've found myself in a bit of a predicament. I've got this online friend. She's 41 and I'm 19. We've been friends for quite a while. The problem is that right now she wants me to come over to her house and sneak in through her bedroom window because her kids are still up. I don't know what to do here. I'm sitting outside her house right now. She's smokin' hot and all my friends are telling me to go for it, but I don't know if she's got a husband in that bedroom or what. What should I do?

I caught the start of Loveline last night. This was the first call they took. :-/

suck the husband off and smear his cum all over your chest


next question

T-6005
06-02-2009, 10:56 AM
That was a disturbing twist on some otherwise harmless fun.

_Lost_
06-02-2009, 11:23 AM
That was a disturbing twist on some otherwise harmless fun.

no kidding...

Outerspaceman21
06-02-2009, 11:53 AM
This girl I'm stalking bumped the restraining order from 50 feet to 150 feet. Is there anyway I can bring it back down?

Llamas
06-02-2009, 11:56 AM
I agree with Thibault...

Oxygene
06-02-2009, 12:14 PM
This girl I'm stalking bumped the restraining order from 50 feet to 150 feet. Is there anyway I can bring it back down?

Get them to change over to the metric system...

then smear some cum all over your chest!

Next question :)

Little_Miss_1565
06-02-2009, 12:36 PM
Too raw, Oxy! Too raw!

Oxygene
06-02-2009, 12:43 PM
Too raw, Oxy! Too raw!

I know I know.. =)

IamSam
06-03-2009, 12:29 AM
Was I the only one who found the plot to "PS I Love You" somewhat creepy?

Budzy
06-03-2009, 01:25 AM
Good thing we have Al, a real expert. What would we do without him?

Kill Jews?

Rag Doll
06-03-2009, 06:42 AM
Was I the only one who found the plot to "PS I Love You" somewhat creepy?

Is that the one where he dies and leaves letters to her to open as time passes?

If so, yes, you are. I can't even watch it because I know it'll be so sweet and sad that I'll cry until I drown.

Offspring-Junkie
06-03-2009, 09:02 AM
This thread is so awesome. I lol'd so hard. :D:D:D

IamSam
06-03-2009, 09:28 AM
Is that the one where he dies and leaves letters to her to open as time passes?

If so, yes, you are. I can't even watch it because I know it'll be so sweet and sad that I'll cry until I drown.

Haha ok just checking.

Al Coholic
06-03-2009, 09:45 AM
I've found myself in a bit of a predicament. I've got this online friend. She's 41 and I'm 19. We've been friends for quite a while. The problem is that right now she wants me to come over to her house and sneak in through her bedroom window because her kids are still up. I don't know what to do here. I'm sitting outside her house right now. She's smokin' hot and all my friends are telling me to go for it, but I don't know if she's got a husband in that bedroom or what. What should I do?

I caught the start of Loveline last night. This was the first call they took. :-/

Well since you have her whole family there you'll need to keep this quiet. Go in through the window and strip down naked. When she walks in, without saying a word, take all of her clothes off. Then, go on opposite ends of the room and quietly have cybersex with eachother. All night. If you don't have two computers then get a piece of paper and pass it back and forth.

Outerspaceman21
06-03-2009, 10:41 AM
Well since you have her whole family there you'll need to keep this quiet. Go in through the window and strip down naked. When she walks in, without saying a word, take all of her clothes off. Then, go on opposite ends of the room and quietly have cybersex with eachother. All night. If you don't have two computers then get a piece of paper and pass it back and forth.

Would that still qualify as cyber sex?

Bipolar Bear
06-03-2009, 11:44 AM
Would that still qualify as cyber sex?

No, the handwriting is too Real, also, human contact may be involved in the brushing of hands as the sheet of paper is passed back and forth. What are you trying to make them do, catch AIDS? This is too real, they invented the interwebs for a reason bitch.

Ninty Man
06-03-2009, 12:45 PM
I... have a situation since last year.

I live in a department, and since I live here, 4 years ago, I used to go to buy magazines and comics to a guy in the avenue near my house. Well, one day, I came to there and I noticed a girl, cute- according to my taste- and I tought she was the dude's daughter, or nephew, some shit like that, because he's middle age, and she was like 18 years old.

Suddenly, she spoke to me, cause I was wearing a mask... don't ask, and I knew that that dude was her boyfriend, and he's 37 years old- got the shit till here??? good- and I was OH SHIT... but I like her, and I wanna ask her out...

So... one day she was lonely there - you know, I wouldn't ask in front of her boyfriend- I ask her out, which she accepted to my fucking surprise LOL. And then, she passed me her cell in front and her boyfriend was arriving- yes, laugh-

so... we got out, and it was a really good date- movie, alcohol, kisses, GANJA KISSES- But I couldn't get her out because he became more and more jealous -and that she loved him... apparently- and I was a friend -which I guess... ok, at least I got a kiss from a cute girl, and ganja :D- so, this became a weird relationship, because she flirted on me, and I was scared of her boyfriend reaction- so she got to left to Chiapas- near guatemala-, and I just was like OK, she's gone

But, we had kept contact in messenger, and since this things became more... interesting, since she passed me pictures of her naked, and I will go eventually to Chiapas, to vacations with her... I'm virgin, not shame of it, I have my reasons- not religious- and she know it, but men, cyber sex is pretty fun XD

So... should I stay or should I go -kudos who got this!

_Lost_
06-03-2009, 12:51 PM
Well since you have her whole family there you'll need to keep this quiet. Go in through the window and strip down naked. When she walks in, without saying a word, take all of her clothes off. Then, go on opposite ends of the room and quietly have cybersex with eachother. All night. If you don't have two computers then get a piece of paper and pass it back and forth.
finally some real advice! I've still been sitting here waiting. she'll be so pleased.

wheelchairman
06-03-2009, 05:53 PM
Joke Q&A about sex on the internet was funny back in the '90's. Now it takes some effort which is unfortunately lacking.

p.s., I like how this girl I know recommended that I see P.S. I Love You. At first she didn't think I would like it, but then she must've thought "this movie made me so touched that you'd have to be inhuman not to be moved."

Now I'm not one who is unmoved by films, the first 5 minutes of the new Star Trek film get me EVERY SINGLE TIME (well twice so far), but PS I Love You sounds like... well let me translate my favorite Danish term ever, "Feelings Porn".

Bipolar Bear
06-04-2009, 01:28 AM
I have a question!!

when you kiss do you have to wear Tongue Condoms ?_?

kthx that's bout it

ad8
06-04-2009, 02:48 AM
I have a question!!

when you kiss do you have to wear Tongue Condoms ?_?

kthx that's bout it

I think female condoms could just work for the mouth as well.