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View Full Version : Something Thats Been Bothering Me



_Lost_
06-04-2009, 10:41 PM
So I close at night with the same lady at work nearly everyday. She's a nice lady and we work well together, but something she's said more than once recently had really been bugging me.

So she's this middle-aged black lady. There was this black guy who came in and asked for something we aren't allowed to give him. She even asked the manager who promptly said "no" and walked away. He got mad and walked out. He came in a few days later and was kind of rude to her, so I made his food and he was perfectly pleasant with me. I've heard her tell two other black customers about him. Both times, she ended the story with "My own kind... can't even stick together"

I just keep going over it in my head. WTF does she mean by that? She seems to be implying that since they are both black, they must like each other and get along. So like... every black patron that goes to any store anywhere should do their damnedest to be polite and pleasant towards any black person that works there? Because otherwise they are going against their own race? And they don't have to worry about politeness if the person working at said theoretical store if they aren't black?

What the fuck?

I halfway considered changing this thread idea to my dislike for "This will be good" "I can't wait to see this thread unfold" "*bag of popcorn*" comments, because when a thread looks promising and people post that, the thread inevitably goes nowhere and we don't get brought the funniez that the thread originally had potential to bring. You guys are killing the funniez! Knock it off!

Al Coholic
06-04-2009, 10:54 PM
I halfway considered changing this thread idea to my dislike for "This will be good" "I can't wait to see this thread unfold" "*bag of popcorn*" comments, because when a thread looks promising and people post that, the thread inevitably goes nowhere and we don't get brought the funniez that the thread originally had potential to bring. You guys are killing the funniez! Knock it off!

The fact that you even have to write shit like this makes the internet predictably gay sometimes.


In any case... I don't know, there's a lot of winks and nods amongst my ethnic community. We seem to hire our own and stick together. I sort of see it and I'm especially excited when I meet someone of the same background as it's not too common. I don't see anything wrong with being prideful and supportive of one's own community, so a little forced curteousness once in a while aint a big deal(although the hiring thing goes too far).

However, it does raise the question... if we're supposed to be a progressive society that treats eachother fairly and equally, it's hypocritical to treat one's own better. Just change the people in your scenario, and picture a white guy saying "I could understand if he was black or something, but he was white too! Can't even get along amongst our own kind." Sound a bit racist?

JohnnyNemesis
06-04-2009, 10:57 PM
I hate when people on this BBS try to talk about race...

IamSam
06-04-2009, 10:58 PM
Damn whitey.


I hate when people on this BBS try to talk about race...

Although when speaking of certain parts of the male anatomy and certain male members of the BBS, it is a welcome conversation.

Al Coholic
06-04-2009, 10:59 PM
It is a circular topic that once you talked about too long everyone either sounds like a liberal yuppie or an ignorant idiot.

_Lost_
06-04-2009, 11:01 PM
The thing that bugs me though is that's she got such a stick up her butt about this black guy that was rude to her, but when a white person or whatever is rude, she fumes for like 5 mins and gets over it. She was talking about this yesterday and that guy came into the store TWO WEEKS AGO.

Little_Miss_1565
06-04-2009, 11:04 PM
Any group that has been historically systematically prevented from rising to the same level of success as other groups tends to feel a responsibility to stick together (except, for reasons beyond my comprehension, women, but for the purposes of this argument, whatev). I suspect your co-worker was remarking on the same thing that I feel when I see someone like my old roommate conspire to undermine and cut down any other woman. Like, why?

JohnnyNemesis
06-04-2009, 11:10 PM
Although when speaking of certain parts of the male anatomy and certain male members of the BBS, it is a welcome conversation.

This is also untrue (unless you do it <3).


It is a circular topic that once you talked about too long everyone either sounds like a liberal yuppie or an ignorant idiot.

Oh god, this. This this this.

General protip: If you don't know what it's like to be a different part of society, it's ok. There are things you cannot, and never can, understand about the way other people live. And with that I retire.

Jebus
06-04-2009, 11:16 PM
People of the same race are more likely to get along with each other due to sharing a common culture. (ethics, religion, etc..) This is true for any race. I don't think she was implying that she should specifically treat black people better than white people. From what I gather, she was trying to say "If we can't get along with our own brothers, then what hope is there for the rest of the world?"

EDIT: Wait, Al Coholic, you're not white?

_Lost_
06-04-2009, 11:26 PM
Jebus, she says it like its a crime against her race. The way she says it, her tone, and her attitude lead me to feel this way.

I was going to reply to you Ricky, but that would probably just make me look like a douchebag white kid pretending to know what its like.

Al Coholic
06-04-2009, 11:53 PM
JN: You have no idea what it's like to be the majority. You cannot imagine the occasional awkwardness we run into when discussing matters of race and the slightly higher expectations people have of us to be politically correct. The minorly higher scrutiny we recieve in our treatment of other races is something you just can't imagine. And it's comments like that enforce the somewhat uncomfortable feelings we get about race every once in a while.

T-6005
06-04-2009, 11:59 PM
Race and racism are ridiculously complex topics which tend to get oversimplified by a majority of people - of course, the people who make a career out of studying racial identity and such often complicate the process so much that it becomes difficult to relate to real-world events at times.

What I'm trying to say is that it's extremely difficult to have any sort of meaningful discussion on the topic of race because there are so many levels of understanding involved in it.

I really have nothing meaningful to add to Lost's example.

darea
06-05-2009, 02:52 AM
When you think that a century or two ago, race was attached to what class you were in like the upper-classes versus the lower classes, and race was about belonging to the most important families etc... race has changed a lot.

And of course the real thing is we all belong to the human race and so we're all the same.

But it is annoying talking about race. And I think things are just so different depending on what country you live in. Like in France, it is not always easy to see who is entirely french, because where I live, a lot of people have spanish or italian origins, some recent some not so recent, yet they sometimes complain about strangers.
Some people talk about "their people" according to their town/village or even department (or county or state) like in rap its all about "the 9.3." or "the 13" whatever "departement" people are from.

There are a lot of racists in france, unfortunately, but I think race issues are so much different from in the states that it's difficult to compare.

A black person shouldn't expect another black person to be friendly with them because we're all human, and as much as one white person doesn't specially respect another white person, one can't expect all black people to get along. If we take France, in the Moroccan community they are already racist amongst themselves because they call "bledards" those who were born in morocco and come to live here, and they think that they who are born in France are better....

I guess I'm going off-topic, but I understand what you mean Karin, it can be annoying specially if she keeps going on about it 2 weeks after it has happened.

Oxygene
06-05-2009, 03:24 AM
(except, for reasons beyond my comprehension, women, but for the purposes of this argument, whatev). [...] Like, why?

Because women hate each other.

Blacks, Gays, Jews etc etc don't.

ad8
06-05-2009, 05:57 AM
Should there be actually be a discussion about race at all?(since the term of race shouldn't exist in my opinion)

AllIn All It's Not So Bad
06-05-2009, 01:39 PM
(since the term of race shouldn't exist in my opinion)
i agree with you. it's that word race that separates us form each other. people want to treat everyone with respect and say everyone is equal, but when you label people buy color, religion, ect, it separates them by making them feel like they belong to a certain group even though we are all human.
African, white, and Hispanic months shouldn't exist because it gives different ethnic groups a sense of a different, separate community, instead of a single unity as humans

Llamas
06-05-2009, 01:42 PM
I've noticed in gay society that people try to be united and supportive of each other, but the moment anyone "different" from THEIR type comes in, the unity is gone. This includes bisexual or transgendered people. If you're strictly gay, it's cool, but anyone else, gtfo.

Anyway, I do feel a bit of a pull with people I know who are gay. I guess I'm more prone to like them or something, or just be interested in talking to them. But it would be beyond weird to expect every gay person to be nice to me.

As far as being a woman goes, there's absolutely none of this. Women do not give a shit about each other.

The only reason I bring this up is because of the comments about how a white person couldn't understand this type of situation. There are other ways people have been repressed, or are different parts of society. Of course there are always differences, but I always think it's interesting to discuss this stuff. ESPECIALLY in ways that I don't already understand.

Llamas
06-05-2009, 01:48 PM
i agree with you. it's that word race that separates us form each other. people want to treat everyone with respect and say everyone is equal, but when you label people buy color, religion, ect, it separates them by making them feel like they belong to a certain group even though we are all human.
African, white, and Hispanic months shouldn't exist because it gives different ethnic groups a sense of a different, separate community, instead of a single unity as humans

I'm of the opinion that the term "race" is heavily flawed and that there are better ways to define people, but I disagree with this. There ARE differences among humans, and trying to get rid of all definers works to destroy culture and history and who we are. My culture is a part of who I am, but I wouldn't say that it's white culture... but maybe American culture. I don't like absolute labels, and the idea of trying to put things into categories, but people are a group that it is necessary for. The world would be so flat and boring without ethnicities, cultures, nations, etc. If we just said everyone is human and nothing separates us... it would suck.

One awesome thing about the US is that you CAN be of any race or nationality yet call yourself an American. You can come here from another country and become an American. In most countries, if you move there, you never become that nationality. I move to Germany, and I'll never be a German. I guess this isn't really that related because it doesn't have much to do with race, but it's a cool thing.

Llamas
06-05-2009, 02:07 PM
Oxygene: women hate each other?

...

Seriously, now? I've got AWESOME female colleagues: they're young, beautiful, dynamic, vivacious. We stick together and even try and protect each other from domineering male colleagues who try to "boss it". The only women we don't like - and aren't liked by - are the hags, with sagging breasts and evil breath. They're way past their prime in both a private and professional sense. And they tend to gossip away the hours around the water-cooler.

You must be absolutely out of your mind to make such sweeping statements.

I think you confused Oxy and me. :P

I love girls. Most of my friends are girls, and I mostly get along with them. But, for the most part, there is MUCH less of a communal unity among women than among gays (and, from what I hear, minority races).

Oxygene
06-05-2009, 04:13 PM
Deep down women despise eachother. I don't really know why but it's the way it is... I have a few theories, but I think that's why the unity that Sarah is missing isn't there. And ESPECIALLY compared to other "victim groups".

When's the last time you heard a woman say "Yeah I helped her out 'cause she was a woman.."

Llamas
06-05-2009, 04:28 PM
Oh I just realized that Oxy said women hate each other, too. :)

Oxygene
06-06-2009, 02:17 AM
Maria, I didn't say you hate all women, and I didn't say every woman hates every woman. What I said is women hate eachother in general. What that means is, if a jew sees a jew a gay dude sees a gay dude or a black dude sees a black dude, they are happy to see eachother off the bat. When a women meet eachother, don't know eachother they are negative to at best neutral from the get go. You see other women as people who - if they want to - could fuck your boyfriend in a heartbeat, or I dunno. Point is, there is no brotherhood (sisterhood) there at all. If a black dude ran into another black dude at a bar in Greenland he'd shit his pants he'd be so extatic. If you ran into another women you wouldn't be.

I'm not saying mothers hate daughters real true girlfriends hate eachother. It's kind of like saying right wingers hate left wingers.. that doesn't mean there aren't any friends or family members who are right and left wingers and truly love eachother.. but that doesn't change the fact that right wingers hate left wingers .. you know?

The Talking Pie
06-06-2009, 04:34 AM
I came across something similar(ish) a couple of years back. It really disturbed me, as it was the most extreme form of verbal racism I'd seen or could imagine.

In a nutshell, I admined a BBS, doing all their coding. It was an 'Urban Discussion Board', which basically meant 'Black Hangout'. As one of the only white guys there, everyone was super nice to me. They were also very kind to the one gay guy. However, who they weren't kind to were each other. Primarily, the lighter-skinned black folk.

The interesting thing is that it wasn't the mixed-race members there tended to be ill-will against, but just the born-and-bred, pure-black, slave-descended members who just happened to not be as black as night. Some of the talk was petty bitchiness, but some of it wouldn't have sounded out of place at a klan rally. I remember one conversation about the Fresh Prince of Bel Air, and how they would refuse to watch it because the second actress to play Aunt Vivian wasn't as black as the first one and then all these words like 'traitor' and whatnot flying around. And that was one of the nicer conversations on the subject.

I always hoped those folk were just a minority (ha, the irony), but my whole experience there really disturbed me. I just don't get it.