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View Full Version : Job Hunting with Jakebert.



Jakebert
06-26-2009, 02:11 PM
So, this summer, I've decided to live away from home, staying in Akron (where I go to school) and looking for a job because the only jobs at home are farmwork and fast food. I have done farmwork for the past 5 years, and despite the fact that I was getting 10 an hour under the table, I felt it's time to expand my horizons.

A month into the search and I have found absolutely nothing. I mean literally, nothing. Most places end with the exact same conversation:

Jakebert: Hello! I am here to inquire if your excellent establishment is hiring at the current moment in time?
Manager: No we are not! In fact, we're laying people off. But here, have an application.
Sad, Despondent Jakebert: Thank you for your time.

And so on. At this point, when I go into a place to get a job, I no longer feel bad about getting tihs reaction, but more or less feel guilty about wasting someone's time and reminding them that they could get laid off in about a week.

After almost an entire month of solid disappointment and fast food binge eating, I have decided to resort to Craigslist, and have made a few discoveries:



Most Craigslist advertisements for office jobs are scams that are either trying to get you to buy a cell phone or steal your money.
Physical labor jobs and yardwork advertisements are kinda creepy.
Vector Marketing, a pyramid scam, is apparently 100% legal and loves to advertise under different names.
Reading personal ads for casual sex is an amazing way to kill time. Also that all women on these advertise themselves as BBW.
All factory jobs apparently have horrible hours for college students.


So here I am yet again, trying to scramble money and job applications together to last me yet another week without my parents cutting me off for not making progress. I would enjoy hearing horror stories, fun stories, or anything entertaining about the job hunting process to take my mind off of this. Thank you for your time, and I hope you will hire me.

Sidewinder
06-26-2009, 02:25 PM
The camp counselor job I normally get in summers was taken by middle aged peeps out of work. :(

Don't suppose you're lifeguard certified, they generally hire anyone who's legal.

ninthz
06-26-2009, 02:27 PM
The best way to get a job is to have an in with one of the owners or higher-ups at the establishment. Like, I just got a job at a local liquor store because I talk to the owner on a regular business while buying from him. I found a stack of applications about 20-30 deep pre-dating when I approached him about a job (which made me feel pretty baller). So yeah, probably something you've already attempted, but try getting on at a place you frequent.

coke_a_holic
06-26-2009, 02:30 PM
The best way to get a job is to have an in with one of the owners or higher-ups at the establishment.

This is true! I was hired at an ice cream place even though they weren't hiring just because I'm friends with one of the guys who's been working there for two years. And now he and I make the exact same amount of money.

This is described as winning.

Jake: ask your friends if their current workplaces are hiring or just apply there and add your friend as a reference.

nieh
06-26-2009, 03:21 PM
Put in an application at a few temp agencies. That's like applying at 10 different company's at once. It'll all mostly be lame things like data entry or things of that nature, but it's a job.

jacknife737
06-26-2009, 04:57 PM
Alumni connections; seek them out.

Also, if you don't care where you work, just lie on your resume. Ever poured a beer before? Now you have bartending experience...

GreenTerror
06-26-2009, 05:09 PM
Concerning Craigslist:
Today was my first time browsing that place, may have found a replacement vehicle for the piece of shit we have now. Awesome.
The missed connections are either really depressing or really creepy.


Job Hunting:
Fucking hell. I have no real job experience, that really is not very helpful at all. I must have filled out a million applications in just the first few months and have gotten no calls back at all, even after calling these places, or stopping by when I can to ask about my application or if anyone's looked at it.

I have no advice, and any advice anyone's given me has not worked.


Jakebert: Hello! I am here to inquire if your excellent establishment is hiring at the current moment in time?
Manager: No we are not! In fact, we're laying people off. But here, have an application.
Sad, Despondent Jakebert: Thank you for your time.

"We're not hiring, but here, waste your time filling out an application for no reason!"
I get this a lot and never understand why they even bother giving me an application.

Jakebert
06-26-2009, 09:03 PM
Put in an application at a few temp agencies. That's like applying at 10 different company's at once. It'll all mostly be lame things like data entry or things of that nature, but it's a job.

Yeah, a temp agency is my next move if these don't work out. I don't mind data entry at all, and the idea of working in a cubicle or desk by myself doing a repetative task is just fine with me at this point in time. I'm actually hoping I would get that over other things. Plus, some of those jobs let you wear headphones and listen to music!


Alumni connections; seek them out.

Also, if you don't care where you work, just lie on your resume. Ever poured a beer before? Now you have bartending experience...

A few graduate brothers from my fraternity (YEAH, GO AHEAD AND LAUGH JERKS) have big connections on campus and could get me a pretty decent office job, but I feel bad using them to get jobs because I know they get at least 2-3 calls a week about it. Plus I don't know either of them well enough to use it.

Of course I lie on my resume. I say I have all kind of kitchen experience and serving experience from high school band fundraisers, which while I did work at, I did not cook or serve. And I don't list them as fundraisers, but as charity events.

sKratch
06-26-2009, 09:24 PM
I've always been terrible at finding jobs. My first job was through a connection and it was hilarious - I worked the front desk at a Chinese restaurant as the only white guy in there. I applied to a couple of jobs like Circuit City, Best Buy, EB Games, etc back in the day and never heard back from them. I think the first almost legit job I scored was being a tutor as an undergrad. The interview was, I think, mostly for show and I didn't even answer a question or two quite like he wanted me to.
My hugest disappointment:
A good friend of mine worked at an indoor rock climbing gym and was about to move out West for the indefinite future (he's still there after 2+ years). He was pretty tight with the whole work force, and told me I could probably fit the opening when he left. I even went in and he showed me some basic stuff that would get me on my way to being "trained" to do the job. He scored me an interview and the manager kept asking if I had worked with kids. I hadn't ever worked with kids but I would somehow try to relate to things that were sort of like working with kids. I ended up not getting the job because, I suppose, I hadn't worked with kids. I was really pissed because it would have been a rad (yeah I said rad) job.

_Lost_
06-26-2009, 10:12 PM
Most Craigslist advertisements for office jobs are scams that are either trying to get you to buy a cell phone or steal your money.
Physical labor jobs and yardwork advertisements are kinda creepy.
Vector Marketing, a pyramid scam, is apparently 100% legal and loves to advertise under different names.
Reading personal ads for casual sex is an amazing way to kill time. Also that all women on these advertise themselves as BBW.
All factory jobs apparently have horrible hours for college students.

I found the two good jobs I've been able to land on craigslist. Mad Science is a lot of fun and I love my EMT job where all I do at night is get paid $11 an hour just to sit and wait in case something happens.

On the finding a job thing, an easy way to pretty much be guaranteed a job is to get some kind of continuing education certification at a community college. You can do 'em in like 1-3 months (especially in the summer), they are pretty cheap (EMT course $90) and it will show your parentals that you are really taking some initiative. Plus a lot of these jobs are in fields that aren't going away.

EDIT: My favorite part of craigslist is the Best of Craigslist, but the personals are where I've whiled away many a boring night. I really can't bring myself to believe they are all real. The best part is when I'm IMing someone and find one worthy of linking without giving them fair warning about what it is.

I ended up not getting the job because, I suppose, I hadn't worked with kids. I was really pissed because it would have been a rad (yeah I said rad) job.

When I interviewed at Mad Science (afterschool program for elementary kids that puts the fun back in science), they asked me the same thing. My "experiece" with working with kids was my playing with my dad's friend's children and young cousins. I don't think I've ever even baby sat anyone before. I really haven't.

Thomas
06-26-2009, 11:13 PM
My only advice? Make sure your fly is NOT open when you walk in for your interview. I speak from experience.




Reading personal ads for casual sex is an amazing way to kill time. Also that all women on these advertise themselves as BBW.


I'm so glad to hear that I'm not the only one who does this from time to time.

mr munkee
06-27-2009, 12:12 AM
I just got a job as a janitor, it's boring and repetitive but it sort of makes me feel cool because noodles was one as we all know. :P

though i'm not a school janitor, that would be way cooler than my janitor job right now.

Vera
06-27-2009, 02:54 AM
I'm eternally puzzled how I landed my current, pretty okay customer service job. I was late for the interview, awkward on the phone whenever they called (which is not a good sign considering the job is a PHONE job)... But I guess I showed some prowess in customer service, said the right things, maybe they didn't have a wide pool of applicants etc.

Finland doesn't really have an application culture .. like if you want a job, you have to apply at the right time, usually online, and then call them to pitch yourself further or whatever. Some stores give you applications but rarely does anything result from it.

I think universally applications might just exist to get rid of people who ask for them. Which kind of sucks but there you go, I guess.

wheelchairman
06-27-2009, 07:23 AM
I work a shit job in a medicinal warehouse and I hate every minute of it.

Also I have two bosses, so like in Office Space, if something isn't right I get hassled by two people.

It's too bad they pay so well, and the more you work the higher your hourly wage goes up, those smart fuckers.

Rag Doll
06-28-2009, 11:17 AM
I've been unemployed for about 5 months. 4-5 years retail management experience, office experience, 2 college degrees....and i barely get call backs. It's just *REALLY* shitty right now for finding jobs. I've even been trying for retail jobs, but nowhere is really hiring.

I finally have an interview tomorrow, but I don't think it's gonna work.

Little_Miss_1565
06-28-2009, 04:52 PM
I got through a 4 month stretch of unemployment working temp jobs (seriously, don't wait, call agencies) and working at a concert venue. Stuff like that?