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Harleyquiiinn
07-26-2009, 03:17 PM
So I had a talk with my grandmother yesterday (isn't that a great way to begin a thread ?)

And now I wonder: why do hate speeches and words often come from people who suffered from the thing they hate ?

So our conversation was about "living together without being married". She said it was disgusting and that it wasn't like that in her time and blah blah blah (Disclaimer: I actually really really love my grandmother... I doubt she ever comes on the board, but you never know... she didn't want to give back an iphone the other day...). And it drove me crazy because her marriage went completely wrong ! She was almost forcely married to that guy 10 years older than her who actually drank way too much, was sleeping around, was a gambler and occasionally liked to use his wife as a punching ball...
Yet, she can't understand why 2 people don't rush into a marriage and she even judges it, saying how disgusting she thinks it is.

Also, I had this old and crazy teacher once. I clearly remember her telling me that writing with my left-hand wasn't right because it was the hand of the devil (Ah ah...) BUT she was left-handed too and forced to write with her right hand when she was little...

Finally, internships... i'm sure that some of you already experienced the happiness of being a trainee and therefore, being treated like shit. When you confront the people who treats you like shit, or even talk to people who went through the same, you always have that kind of answer "hey... you know... everybody had to go through this. This is normal.just take it and stop complaining"
What the hell is "normal" about treating anyone like crap ?

So I am wondering about that paradox... is it that when you suffered from something, you feel you are authorized to judge that said thing ? :confused:

AllIn All It's Not So Bad
07-26-2009, 03:23 PM
i think that it's better to leave the past alone. it's kinda like black people in america. they feel inferior because they still think that the "white man" is trying to keep them down(which really he isn't). In cases like these it's better to give advice and not try to shape a person's future because of your past:)

about your grandma's marriage; would you marry a guy 10 years older/younger if you knew he was husband material?(by that i mean responsible, caring, passionate, loving with a nice attitude)

Harleyquiiinn
07-26-2009, 03:28 PM
I actually don't see the link celarly in your example. I agree about your conclusion though, but it doesn't explain why most people do that...

(Also, I don't like the title of my thread, I think it doesn't fit, but i can't change it :( )

AllIn All It's Not So Bad
07-26-2009, 03:30 PM
Also, I had this old and crazy teacher once. I clearly remember her telling me that writing with my left-hand wasn't right because it was the hand of the devil (Ah ah...) BUT she was left-handed too and forced to write with her right hand when she was little...


Ah ah! This is like way down the line and hypocrisy mixed together

KHWHD
07-26-2009, 03:33 PM
Also, I had this old and crazy teacher once. I clearly remember her telling me that writing with my left-hand wasn't right because it was the hand of the devil (Ah ah...) BUT she was left-handed too and forced to write with her right hand when she was little:

I didn't think that people said stuff about that in like hundreds of years. I'm left handed, and have never been told by anyone (my parents, teachers, etc.) that I had to write with my right hand. That's crazy.

Harleyquiiinn
07-26-2009, 03:36 PM
Ah ah! This is like way down the line and hypocrisy mixed together

Yes... well actually, it used to be the common belief... that is why left-handed were forced to write with their right hand...

Shank> Yes... It's the only one I ever heard telling me that though... Some old people simply thinks it's weird when I write but the only time I heard something really not nice about being left-handed was from someone who was left-handed... crazy...

Free?
07-26-2009, 03:48 PM
Tag added, now posting.

Because it's the way it goes. I don't do that. I mean I totally don't make intentionally suffer somebody from some past bad experience that l've had, especially if it left a scar in that kind of situations you described.
I know that some don't do that, but humans always had, have and will have toooo daaamn thick skin. Everyone has his own process of self-education-and-perfection, but it will not likely bring you to the point when you'll evaluate before acting, when it comes to "treating a newbie like a crap" and such because your social life constantly curve you in the opposite direction. You NEED to walk your way alone, find your direction and figure answers by yourself, otherwise it won't work. Just like forced high-morale things like "turn the other cheek". God bless Offspring for being a crossroad of change for me.

RageAndLov
07-26-2009, 04:04 PM
She is just very conservative, and all of us will probably be as conservative when we are old.
And lol at the tag!

Harleyquiiinn
07-26-2009, 04:12 PM
She is just very conservative, and all of us will probably be as conservative when we are old.
And lol at the tag!

I am not sure it is only that you see... She is conservative for sure (although... not on everything but anyway) but don't you think that being a conservative is all about that ? "I suffered from something so I don't see why you shouldn't suffer from it." or "It's always been that way, why should it be different and better for you ?"

About what Free? said, I don't think the process is intentionnal... it is what makes me wonder...

I liked the tag by the way ;)

RageAndLov
07-26-2009, 04:36 PM
Everyone should be like Napoleon - learning from others mistakes. It makes you preventing them.

Free?
07-26-2009, 04:57 PM
I am not sure it is only that you see... She is conservative for sure (although... not on everything but anyway) but don't you think that being a conservative is all about that ? "I suffered from something so I don't see why you shouldn't suffer from it." or "It's always been that way, why should it be different and better for you ?"

About what Free? said, I don't think the process is intentionnal... it is what makes me wonder...

I liked the tag by the way ;)

Yes, I wanted to say "consciously" instead of "intentionnaly" there, my mistake.:o

Rutegard
07-27-2009, 01:15 PM
good luck carla...good luck


really.

AllIn All It's Not So Bad
07-27-2009, 01:17 PM
good luck carla...good luck


really.

you got it wrong
and she also hates it when people misspell/confuse her name

Rutegard
07-28-2009, 04:48 AM
you got it wrong
and she also hates it when people misspell/confuse her name

oh fuck

u r right

its clara LOOOL

(there is a carla name here :P)

Budzy
07-28-2009, 05:05 AM
Your Grandma was simply brought up that way. That's the way it was back in those days. My Grandma's original husband died and she married a second one quick fast, because she had 6 children and no means of income. He was a drunk, and there was a suspicion (spelling?) that he was sleeping around. That's just the way it was back then, and it probably just seems so alien to her that people can live together without being married. I think back then marrying was more a means of survival, you weren't too fussed about finding that 'perfect' partner, you just found someone reasonable who could provide for the family.

As to the second one, your teacher was just a crazy old bat, but once again, that's how she was brought up.

And to the last, treating a newbie like shit is just tradition. And when that newbie becomes the experienced one, and a new newbie comes along, he will do the same, because he earnt his right to pick on the newbie. That's the way I see it anyway.