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pArAda
08-04-2009, 03:19 PM
why do people do it? Why do they bully poor helpless people? :(

it already started in elementary school..I always say I was not bullied in elementary school and I was no outsider in elementary school...but I somehow was..compared to what happened to me later it was weak though.
I was just different than the other kids. I had different interests, preferred to play other things and was maybe not as corrupted as they were.
There were some things I had big problems with : drawing, working with scissors, with colours, with glue, opening/closing jacket, tying schoes e.t.c ....I could do all those things not as good as the others and was worse than them in it. I was very bad in sports. I lost my pencils and my other stuff very often and confused rooms e.t.c
I wrote numbers and letters backwards and thought it was right this way.
But then again, I was much better than them in nearly all subjects. (besides sports and arts back then...and later mathematics)
Classmates were making fun of me bcz of various things...I was also teased because they were allowed to stay up much longer than me and they watched horror movies I never heard of and would prolly never be allouwed to watch at that time.
Not to forget the swearing ! When I was 6 I wasn't as corrupted as the other kids my age and I didn't know words like ****, cock, ***** e.t.c though they were using those things all the time...when a girl called me "****" once I didn't know what this word meaned and asked my teacher what this word was about to mean.
I think I dont even have to mention that I still believed in santa clause and didn't know what sex was when i entered school..all this was like..prey for them.
They'd say ambigous things about sex and ask me questions and laugh about me or my answers.
Violence was another factor. I never defended myself and always tried to discuss everything from early on...well, the others were beating me and I didnt defend myself..I just said how stupid they were because they were not able to discuss a problem...they were always laughing at me after i said such a thing because they simply didn't understand..and when I ran to the teachers telling them who hit me they simply were like "Solve your problems yourselves".

nieh
08-04-2009, 03:23 PM
Are you an outkast?

JoY
08-04-2009, 03:27 PM
you HAVE to be kidding me.

this for real???!

jacknife737
08-04-2009, 03:29 PM
Come on dude, nobody wants to pay the troll toll.

dexter12296566
08-04-2009, 03:30 PM
I like this thread considering I get beat up and bullied practically as soon as I step outside and it has been that way for me for 11 years now.

pArAda
08-04-2009, 03:33 PM
no i'm making it all up :rolleyes:

:mad:

yes, I was bullied. I was beaten a lot, I felt bad everytime i had to go to school and my stomach was aching when I had to get up. Every morning when I came to school they were welcoming me with "You suck!" or "You are a piece of shit" instead of "good morning!".

They were saying stuff to me like: you're fat and ugly and extremely stupid and so on...me being fat was the running gag through all the years I was in school.

They were playing stupid games with me..like..they were throwing my pencil case somewhere..and when I was about to get it I couldn't get back to my seat because they blocked the way with chairs and so on...those games happened a time nearly everyday...i had to crawl to get to my seat or..i had no chair because it was standing on the cupboard or my pencils were in the water or all over in class. Or when they were playing ball in class..they were always throwing the ball very hard at me...they were saying stuff to me like:
"Die ! Kill yourself !" "You are worthless, kill yourself" "You don't deserve to live"
"You are no human being, because human beings can think..you are stupid and you cant think therefore you deserve to die" "You are mentally, physically and psychologically weak"
"You are a fat pig and deserve to be slaughtered" "You have no friends..guess why..you are stupid and ugly"

why did I have to go through this?
did anyone have to go through this? how does one forget evertyhing that has happened? :confused:

pArAda
08-04-2009, 03:33 PM
go to hell jacknife
i hope you get bullied
but i suppose you're the bully aren't you

dexter12296566
08-04-2009, 03:35 PM
go to hell jacknife
i hope you get bullied
but i suppose you're the bully aren't you

alot of ppl here are and i wouldnt do a thread like this cuz when i bring up stuff about me getting beaten up they hate me here too. jacknife is mean sometimes

Llamas
08-04-2009, 03:37 PM
It happens because you allow yourself to be affected by it. Bullies don't target people who don't react; people who realize that the insults are not personal, but just blanket statements they make to anyone who responds to them. If you're a whiner about being bullied, it's gonna keep happening.

pArAda
08-04-2009, 03:43 PM
look, that's what i tell myself all the time. but it's different when you are thinking it in the safety of your home. am i supposed to beat up everyone in class? do you think if i were to say something back that they would leave me alone? no, they'd just hit me stronger. there's no escpaing this. i don't really know :(

Skinny
08-04-2009, 03:46 PM
Every morning when I came to school they were welcoming me with "You suck!" or "You are a piece of shit" instead of "good morning!".
"Die ! Kill yourself !" "You are worthless, kill yourself" "You don't deserve to live"
"You are no human being, because human beings can think..you are stupid and you cant think therefore you deserve to die" "You are mentally, physically and psychologically weak"
"You are a fat pig and deserve to be slaughtered"
This shit happened to you in elementary??
Dude, you obviously went to school with little fucking Nazi's.

Llamas
08-04-2009, 03:50 PM
look, that's what i tell myself all the time. but it's different when you are thinking it in the safety of your home. am i supposed to beat up everyone in class? do you think if i were to say something back that they would leave me alone? no, they'd just hit me stronger. there's no escpaing this. i don't really know :(

What? Hit them back? Insult them back? I said NOT to respond. DON'T react. They love it when you react and they can tell it bothers you. I used to roll my eyes and smile at bullies. They stopped bothering me because my reactions bored them.

Jakebert
08-04-2009, 03:50 PM
Come on dude, nobody wants to pay the troll toll.

I love you.

You gotta pay the troll toll,
If you want the boy's hole.

JoY
08-04-2009, 03:52 PM
I call Vlad. anyone?

pArAda
08-04-2009, 03:58 PM
look, i think that i have tried doing that. i have kept my head down and didn't listen to them. they went on and on. i don't think that i actually believe this thing about how ignoring bullies makes them leave you alone. it's difficult to smile when there are tears in your eyes or when you are on the verge of tears.

JoY
08-04-2009, 04:00 PM
dammit. I retract that last call & am now genuinly concerned about to which degree this is for real.

Skinny
08-04-2009, 04:01 PM
What level of schooling are you in pArAda? Elementary, Junior High, or Highschool?

pArAda
08-04-2009, 04:05 PM
[quote]This shit happened to you in elementary??
Dude, you obviously went to school with little fucking Nazi's.\quote

no, this happened a year ago, not in elementary.

pArAda
08-04-2009, 04:07 PM
I have just finished junior high. in any case i hope that this is the end of it.

Skinny
08-04-2009, 04:11 PM
The teachers didn't do anything when you came to them for help?

pArAda
08-04-2009, 04:18 PM
well, they helped a bit. but I never told the whole truth so it never went as far as it should have. i guess I have myself to blame for that. I was ashamed and afraid, what can I say?

Skinny
08-04-2009, 04:24 PM
Well.. that's the past and there's nothing you can do about it now:(.. All we can do is hope that this doesn't continue into your highschool years.

The Talking Pie
08-04-2009, 05:36 PM
did anyone have to go through this? how does one forget evertyhing that has happened? :confused:

I did. Know what I done? I grew up. And I forgot all about it. As in, I repressed all of those horrible memories like an alzheimers sufferer. I'm still mentally scarred, though; I can't be out in a crowd without feeling physically sick.

Although, at the end of school, I got some respect by lifting weights. The 'hard' kids (who never bullied me, but were still further up the ladder than the bullies) started to respect/fear me after I beat the 'hardest kid in school' in a bench-pressing competition, so as a consequence people started to leave me alone. Just too bad that happened five years too late.


alot of ppl here are and i wouldnt do a thread like this cuz when i bring up stuff about me getting beaten up they hate me here too. jacknife is mean sometimes

That's not at all the reason people here hate you. Many people have told you explicitly why they take issue with your comments; please take some of that advice on-board.

Llamas
08-04-2009, 06:41 PM
I honestly was bullied for years. I learned to ignore it and not respond to it, which caused people to stop being such dicks. But I did hate high school and it doesn't feel good to go back there. Even if they stopped bullying me, people still definitely didn't like me for whatever reason. I think it's important to just be yourself and do whatever you can to not take that shit personally.


I had a kid in my class last week, Juliet... Juliet is 10 and has a physical disability (seems like a muscular problem to me). She's a nice kid, but is very socially odd and kids don't like her. She has two sisters who are super cool and sweet, and everyone likes them. On our 4th day of class, we had to pick groups of 3 to launch rockets... they were a really good group, so I let the kids pick their own groups. Two kids were absent of 12 kids, so I said we need 4 groups of 3, so today we need 2 groups of 3 and 2 groups of 2. The kids formed 3 groups of 3 and Juliet was left alone, incredibly sad. I didn't realize nobody liked her, and had no idea this would happen. I could've dealt with it better in retrospect, but I told the kids this wasn't going to work, we needed 2 groups of 2, and one of her sisters said, "Juliet can work with the absent kids when they come tomorrow". Juliet almost started crying... and I said "Someone is going to leave their group to make the groups even or I'm picking your groups for you", and a girl came over to join Juliet. Had I known she was disliked, I would've played a more active role in groups being chosen.

The point here is that, after class, Juliet went to her mom extremely sad and told her that nobody likes her and nobody wanted to work with her. Her mom said, "That's not true. And I like you!!" and hugged her. Her mom clearly wants to hide this fact and try to convince her daughter that she's liked... Her daughter of course will always see through that and I think it's a horrible idea. I really wanted to pull Juliet aside and tell her to be herself and not try to get people to like her... not to let people's opinions affect her, and that it all gets better with time. But that would've been conceding to her that she isn't liked, and that was against what the mom was trying to do.

I generally think it's important for kids to be themselves and worry less about what others think. Sometimes I see kids in public who are clearly outcasts in school, but they look happy. I saw this girl last week probably 13, wearing a green fleece jumpsuit, with extremely greasy blonde hair that was poorly cut. She didn't seem to have any sort of disorder, and she seemed fully comfortable with who she was. People will make fun of you no matter who you are... it's a matter of how you deal with it.

Greg-K's-PENIS
08-04-2009, 06:47 PM
why did I have to go through this?
did anyone have to go through this? how does one forget evertyhing that has happened? :confused:


my brother comes home crying all the time telling us what this person did or what these people said about him, we've told him countless times to just keep a low profile and it will eventually stop! tho he doesn't cos he is one of those kids who puts them self in spotlight without noticeing:(. i know this don't work for all people but it did for me. and it's how i deal with bullies.

Homer
08-04-2009, 06:57 PM
I totally know what you're going through, man. I was always just doing my own thing growing up, and I was always insulted and picked on for it. Waking up every day knowing that there would be more and more **** I would have to wade through. Countless years spent hiding, spent living with fear and sadness. Feeling alone in a world crowded with those who just never understood. But, even through all of this I knew that there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and in my second year of high school, I did something about it. I brought a gun to school. Once the first bully confronted me, I showed him it and told him to stop picking on me. For the rest of the day, and consequently for the rest of the year, I was never picked on again. Finally, I could live without all of the sorrow.

jacknife737
08-04-2009, 08:29 PM
See, Homer had the right idea. Kid, if you don't have access to any firearms, may i suggest carrying a switchblade?

mrconeman
08-04-2009, 08:34 PM
You kids went to some fucked up schools. I was never bullied, at least, whatever happened to me in school I never considered it being bullied. Everyone in my school ridiculed each other equally, friends and foe alike, and sure I got in a few fights (physical and verbal) had some losses and some victories of both description. But no, that's life, not being bullied.

nieh
08-04-2009, 08:52 PM
Yeah, I was bullied when I was younger. In fact, once my friend Daniel and I were at Starbucks today doing our casual smoke and drink a cappuchino bit before work. Me wearing my Fall Out Boy hoodie and girl pants,and Daniel in his Taking Back Sunday hoodie and camo's. Well,this preppy chick and her 2 friends came up and was like "Hey look its the emo brothers. Why don't you go cry somewhere huh?" to that I kicked my chair back making her jump and I was about a foot taller than her,I said "Why don't you go fuck your damn father! Maybe he'll buy you another fuckin Benz! HELL make him scream while he cums and he'll buy you a whole new mansion!". She started crying and ran away. It was a well-deserved yelling at. Even though I hate to see girls crying at my own words I felt good this time. They never picked on me again after that!

jacknife737
08-04-2009, 09:02 PM
Yeah, I was bullied when I was younger. In fact, once my friend Daniel and I were at Starbucks today doing our casual smoke and drink a cappuchino bit before work. Me wearing my Fall Out Boy hoodie and girl pants,and Daniel in his Taking Back Sunday hoodie and camo's. Well,this preppy chick and her 2 friends came up and was like "Hey look its the emo brothers. Why don't you go cry somewhere huh?" to that I kicked my chair back making her jump and I was about a foot taller than her,I said "Why don't you go fuck your damn father! Maybe he'll buy you another fuckin Benz! HELL make him scream while he cums and he'll buy you a whole new mansion!". She started crying and ran away. It was a well-deserved yelling at. Even though I hate to see girls crying at my own words I felt good this time. They never picked on me again after that!

Good for you.

Llamas
08-04-2009, 09:06 PM
Yeah, I was bullied when I was younger. In fact, once my friend Daniel and I were at Starbucks today doing our casual smoke and drink a cappuchino bit before work. Me wearing my Fall Out Boy hoodie and girl pants,and Daniel in his Taking Back Sunday hoodie and camo's. Well,this preppy chick and her 2 friends came up and was like "Hey look its the emo brothers. Why don't you go cry somewhere huh?" to that I kicked my chair back making her jump and I was about a foot taller than her,I said "Why don't you go fuck your damn father! Maybe he'll buy you another fuckin Benz! HELL make him scream while he cums and he'll buy you a whole new mansion!". She started crying and ran away. It was a well-deserved yelling at. Even though I hate to see girls crying at my own words I felt good this time. They never picked on me again after that!

<3333333333 omg.

Thomas
08-04-2009, 09:34 PM
hoooooooooooooooooly crap, nieh wins this thread.

RickyCrack
08-04-2009, 10:07 PM
You have to pay the troll toll, if you want inside of this boys soul. hole? soul? hole? yea hole.

Little_Miss_1565
08-04-2009, 10:27 PM
Come on dude, nobody wants to pay the troll toll.

Though Nieh is made of purest gold, this is probs my favorite one.


am now genuinly concerned about to which degree this is for real.

I find myself doing that more and more every day.

But seriously, if you are being bullied the best thing to do is not react, as it's been said.

_Lost_
08-04-2009, 11:11 PM
Some guys at walmart called me and my boyfriend "fags" a couple weeks ago. I'm no guy. :(

Budzy
08-05-2009, 03:29 AM
I disagree with the 'don't react' business. Turn around and punch the fucker in the face. Who cares if you end up losing the fight, as long you get one good hit on them they'll think twice about it next time.
I never really got bullied, but I remember one time some kid had some personal vendetta against me. Just the same old kid would always try to stir me up. I'd play it cool and drop a few good calls as calm as anything, but then one time I snapped and dropped the prick.
The teacher called it off before I got my ass kicked, but he stopped after that.

Grimesy da Offspringfan
08-05-2009, 03:38 AM
I was never bullied, (in fact i'm still in high school but whatever..) but i'm not really like anyone around me. Usually everyone is equally bullied but there are about 2 or 3 kids who are being bullied all the time, like, kids stealing their stuff and hiding them, so they go crazy and almost crying and stuff but that's a common thing here (...) and when someone does it to me i usually don't give a fuck, or when someone tries to make fun of me for some reason, i start making fun of myself either . You only get embarrassed about something if you also think it's embarrassing

JoY
08-05-2009, 05:19 AM
Josh rocks.


I did. Know what I done? I grew up. And I forgot all about it. As in, I repressed all of those horrible memories like an alzheimers sufferer. I'm still mentally scarred, though; I can't be out in a crowd without feeling physically sick.

Although, at the end of school, I got some respect by lifting weights. The 'hard' kids (who never bullied me, but were still further up the ladder than the bullies) started to respect/fear me after I beat the 'hardest kid in school' in a bench-pressing competition, so as a consequence people started to leave me alone. Just too bad that happened five years too late.


Dave... seriously? jeez, fuck, come here cutiepie. *hugs*

I guess everybody who is picked on needs someone to hang out with them. I usually hung out with people who got picked on. usually the people who got picked on in my class were the most interesting ones, who had a shitload to say. most of them were going through incredibly tough times at home, which made them function less well in a social setting, but one on one they'd mostly be a better conversation partner than the rest of them, because conversations often ran deeper.

plus, what the hell? friendships were completely shallow when we were kids anyway & whoever was left out, usually was bullied without a single good reason, so why not be friends with someone who gets bullied? I could never see any clear difference between the kids being bullied & the rest of them. maybe a couple of differences, but not a clear difference. I don't see the fucking point of making someone miserable. I had friends, why not share them with someone with no friends. & maybe my friends will find a new friend in the kid that usually gets bullied, who they otherwise never had talked to. after you get to know someone as a person, all the trivial reasons for bullying someone usually fade to nothing.

I don't know any trics & tips that actually work against bullying, but I think I would try to find a friendly face among my classmates & get to know them, so they get to know me. I think it might work to talk to someone one on one, who doesn't participate in the bullying & is friendly, yet not someone who gets bullied him-/herself. also, most kids I knew who got bullied, didn't participate in sports, or any hobbies other kids shared. I don't think isolating yourself, even if it's to avoid bullying, is the solution. you're just singling yourself out, making you even more prone to bullying, plus no one has a chance to see you in multiple settings outside of school, to get to know you for who you are. like soccer, or baseball, judo, whatever. that's where you meet people who share the same interest outside of school. some of them might be from your school, but a different setting creates a different situation.

randman21
08-05-2009, 07:15 AM
Listen to JoY on this one. Really good advice there. You're just starting high school, so this can be a time for new beginnings. Heh, I think Budzy's suggestion is okay, too, as a last resort kinda thing. I don't think ignoring it is at all in this case. Not only would it be ineffective, but also impossible. The damage has been done.

dexter12296566
08-05-2009, 07:38 AM
look, that's what i tell myself all the time. but it's different when you are thinking it in the safety of your home. am i supposed to beat up everyone in class? do you think if i were to say something back that they would leave me alone? no, they'd just hit me stronger. there's no escpaing this. i don't really know :(

Everything he is saying is totally true. I have been told not to respond so many times, so when I finally stopped responding the beatings got worse. You can only understand something like this if you have been through it yourself, which, evidently you guys on here haven't.

Free?
08-05-2009, 09:23 AM
pArAda could you please change your avatar? The thought of little and helpless Pete complaining about being bullied on the offspring boards makes me feel uncomfortable.

ad8
08-05-2009, 11:27 AM
Damn, nieh. <3

And pArAda:
If you are intelligent enough to realise that others are too stupid to discuss things with you(eventually they aren't too stupid but only too lazy) then you should also be intelligent enough to realise that you can't fit in with those people the way you are. You should either try to imitate what they like so they'll be like "Well, maybe this guy is not so bad after all" or just not care about them and isolate yourself. Of course the picking will go on but you should just either ignore it or scare them (like Budzy suggested).
Why don't you look at it the other way and say to yourself "I'll have to be smart enough to make them not bully me any more"? That would be the most productive way to solve your problem, I guess.

The Talking Pie
08-05-2009, 11:34 AM
You can only understand something like this if you have been through it yourself, which, evidently you guys on here haven't.

Dude, seriously... have you just ignored everything that people here have said? People have been through this. Just because they came out of it the other side, doesn't mean that it wasn't every bit as bad as your experience.

I wanted to kill myself; I wanted to kill everyone else. Ten years later and I still can't hang out in groups. And I'm willing to bet that everyone else on here who was seriously bullied has a similar story.

On a different note... thanks Bella *hugs*. Yeah, kids can be little bastards. They're so insignificant in the world -- in the grand scheme of things -- that all they can realistically control and use to feel important are the lives of their peers. All they can hope to attain as people at that age is the destruction of others' lives.

Thomas
08-05-2009, 11:48 AM
dude, seriously... Have you just ignored everything that people here have said? People have been through this. Just because they came out of it the other side, doesn't mean that it wasn't every bit as bad as your experience.


+1000000000

Rooster
08-05-2009, 11:54 AM
Dude, seriously... have you just ignored everything that people here have said? People have been through this. Just because they came out of it the other side, doesn't mean that it wasn't every bit as bad as your experience.

True.

I've also been through a lot, not just bullying. It's too much to even describe everything here, and i'm too lazy to do that.

I'll just say this: what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

JoY
08-05-2009, 01:12 PM
Dave, I just think they don't like anything that's remotely different & are even afraid of it.



I'll just say this: what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

ugh, sorry to say, but I just hate that expression. it's what people say when the situation has gotten to the point it's so fucking crummy, they can't think of any other uplifting, comforting words to say. it's nonsense, because what doesn't kill you, still can leave you being a total lifeless wreck.

I remember I was going through something that was completely fucked up & incredibly inappropriate for my age & I had to do it by myself, because it was just as much inappropriate for my peers to get involved in such a situation. all people would say is that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, while I was basically contemplating my own death. it did kill me, it just didn't kill me physically. I was a mess & I felt far, very far, of ever being strong again, let alone stronger.

maybe I did come out stronger, but even then, you don't look as far ahead in the future to think you'll ever even come out of it, as long as you're still pressed down with your head in a toilet bowl full of shit.

edit
another thing; it felt like my situation was too depressing & scary to touch, since the words "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" mostly cuts into any conversation, immediately ending it. it sort of sends a message like; "yeah okay, sucks, let's just not discuss it any further". it's a message that underlines the fact you're going to have to do it by yourself & that you're completely alone in this, because when you tell someone how it is & you're told to wait & see if you're going to survive, he/she obviously has no intention of helping you out.

editedit
I know that's not the way you meant it, but I have extremely negative associations with that phrase.

ninthz
08-05-2009, 04:38 PM
I'm a bully.

Homer
08-05-2009, 04:46 PM
I can't believe my straight-from-the-heart, and 100% proven advice went unnoticed by the majority of people here.

What a terrible place.

Rooster
08-05-2009, 05:56 PM
ugh, sorry to say, but I just hate that expression. it's what people say when the situation has gotten to the point it's so fucking crummy, they can't think of any other uplifting, comforting words to say. it's nonsense, because what doesn't kill you, still can leave you being a total lifeless wreck.


You are right - it leaves you messed up, and it messes you up pretty badly.

But, speaking for myself of course, later when you start getting up on your feet again, on your own, you think about the past and what have you learned from it. I became tougher and tougher because of bullying, and i learned to stand up for myself (it's gotten to the point when i'd rather have my legs broken than let others walk over me). Also (this isn not connected with bullying, but helps to prove my point), i'm very loyal to my true friends and the people i love and care about. Why? Because my father left my mum before i was even born, and i could never do the same to anyone, because i know what pain it brings to others. And there were shitload of other things that would help to prove my point (one of them happened just an hour ago, but i won't explain it now).

So that was my point - all the things you've been through can eventually make you stronger, and can help you to develop into a better person, if you choose this way. But if you only think about all the pain and how you only suffer, then eventually you also can break down. I almost broke down when i left my "friends" after finally realising what they were like. I was miserable for almost a year. But it got better, i have only a few friends now, but those are true friends. And i also learned to be more independent, and i'm very good at judging other people's characters now (i haven't made a single mistake since i left my former friends).

Now this is what i would advice to anyone: no matter how bad things seem to be, it's never so bad that it couldn't get better. Just try to stay positive, give your life a chance. Trust me, after all the shit i've been through the 20 years of my life, i know. Things are better now, and i'm finally able to be who i want to be. Just have faith, and don't let anything break you.

_Lost_
08-05-2009, 10:37 PM
Here is the thing pArAda and dexter12296566, you two may still be too young to realize this, but a majority of the people who hang out on message boards like this one have had some pretty fucked up experiences. You are unlikely to find socially adept people posting tl;dr and making lots of online friends because they are too busy being social to get started down this path. Don't assume we don't know what you are talking about because people make jokes. I haven't seen a single Linkin Park reference thus far.

I got bullied by two girls nonstop from 4th to 8th grade and it was awful. I also grew up in a neighborhood of mostly minority people where my siblings and I were 3 of 5 white kids at any given time. We had our friends, but they weren't enough to stop the onslaught of "cracker" bashing and fights. In this neighborhood when I was in second grade, I got jumped by 5 or 6 3rd grade boys. There weren't many kids at the playground and it was the kind of neighborhood where parents just kind of let us loose and did their own thing like parents back in the day would. Fortunately, my grandparents were paying for me and my bro to take tae kwon do and I was good at kicking.

I, however, don't like to talk about that because I got over it and had a few good friends to rely on. That and I've experienced much worse than bullying since then. CRAAAAWLING IIIIN MY SKIIIIIINNN!

nieh
08-05-2009, 10:42 PM
I haven't seen a single Linkin Park reference thus far.

I knew this thread was lacking something.

_Lost_
08-05-2009, 10:43 PM
When I saw the first post, I thought, for sure there would be one within the first five responses. I was sorely dissappointed.

JoY
08-06-2009, 04:16 AM
You are right - it leaves you messed up, and it messes you up pretty badly.

But, speaking for myself of course, later when you start getting up on your feet again, on your own, you think about the past and what have you learned from it. I became tougher and tougher because of bullying, and i learned to stand up for myself (it's gotten to the point when i'd rather have my legs broken than let others walk over me). Also (this isn not connected with bullying, but helps to prove my point), i'm very loyal to my true friends and the people i love and care about. Why? Because my father left my mum before i was even born, and i could never do the same to anyone, because i know what pain it brings to others. And there were shitload of other things that would help to prove my point (one of them happened just an hour ago, but i won't explain it now).

So that was my point - all the things you've been through can eventually make you stronger, and can help you to develop into a better person, if you choose this way. But if you only think about all the pain and how you only suffer, then eventually you also can break down. I almost broke down when i left my "friends" after finally realising what they were like. I was miserable for almost a year. But it got better, i have only a few friends now, but those are true friends. And i also learned to be more independent, and i'm very good at judging other people's characters now (i haven't made a single mistake since i left my former friends).

Now this is what i would advice to anyone: no matter how bad things seem to be, it's never so bad that it couldn't get better. Just try to stay positive, give your life a chance. Trust me, after all the shit i've been through the 20 years of my life, i know. Things are better now, and i'm finally able to be who i want to be. Just have faith, and don't let anything break you.

so you turned out a stronger person. that's awesome. but I'm sure that year when you were miserable, you couldn't quite look as far ahead as believing you would ever be fine again. that's my point. there's no use in saying "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" to someone who doesn't have any perspective on things getting better any time soon. it's a lame cliché that -eventually- you'll get over it & move on, having learned a life lesson, but I think everybody can figure out so much. except no one wants to wait for it, see if they'll survive & come out stronger, people actively want to do something about fucked up situations to make it better.

aside from that, it kills any indepth conversation about the situation that someone might be needing at that time. the part of getting stronger in the end might be achieved by just talking about it.

JoY
08-06-2009, 04:22 AM
Here is the thing pArAda and dexter12296566, you two may still be too young to realize this, but a majority of the people who hang out on message boards like this one have had some pretty fucked up experiences.

it's the majority of people. I think everybody will eventually go through something that will knock their life upside down. most people will experience that in their younger years, when there are fast changes, a shitload of choices to make, many new developments & when they're still young & stupid in ways.

I didn't come on here because I lacked anything in my social life. I'm pretty sure that goes for many of us. I saw someone enjoying this board like crazy & thought I should check it out. then I just got hooked. but as the years go by, being a bbs-member or not, you're just bound to experience a couple of things, some of them being absolutely life changing.

ps. talking about the days you got bullied might bother you, but it might help someone here, who does get bullied. like what got you out of that situation, or what you tried & didn't work, what you learned from it, what helped you through it... & you not wanting to talk about it gives me a feeling that it's still a painful spot you rather not touch.

Rooster
08-06-2009, 05:00 AM
so you turned out a stronger person. that's awesome. but I'm sure that year when you were miserable, you couldn't quite look as far ahead as believing you would ever be fine again. that's my point. there's no use in saying "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" to someone who doesn't have any perspective on things getting better any time soon. it's a lame cliché that -eventually- you'll get over it & move on, having learned a life lesson, but I think everybody can figure out so much. except no one wants to wait for it, see if they'll survive & come out stronger, people actively want to do something about fucked up situations to make it better.

aside from that, it kills any indepth conversation about the situation that someone might be needing at that time. the part of getting stronger in the end might be achieved by just talking about it.

True, you are right about that - i was very miserable for that year. And, like leaving everything i knew behind wasn't enough, that was also the year when my grandfather got cancer (luckilly it's been successfully cured, he didn't even need the chemoterapy treatment), my mum's uncle died, so it was a really rough time, and it was hard to look ahead. When i was surrounded with my schoolmates and new friends (maybe i had one friend or two - i didn't trust anybody, so it took me quite a while to make new friendships) i was ok, but when i was alone i was always quiet and miserable, always angry even if there was no particular reason. What saved me was when i finally formed a band with 3 of my new friends (they are friends in the truest meaning of the word). Since then it all got somehow better.

So probably you're right, that "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" wasn't the best way to help somebody. But things can get better eventually.

JoY
08-06-2009, 08:53 AM
What saved me was when i finally formed a band with 3 of my new friends (they are friends in the truest meaning of the word). Since then it all got somehow better.


now that is AWESOME advice anyone who gets bullied should take to heart. at least, I personally feel that that could help a shitload. get. a. hobby. you meet new people outside of school & those who are from your school learn to see you in a new daylight.

*thumbs up*

you know what it is with people who say "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger"? either they've been through some rough times themselves & know to some extend what they're talking about (those are the people for who it seems easy to talk, because *they*'re doing fine now), or it's people who don't have a clue what they're talking about, but just throw that cliché out there to have at least something to say, before they change the subject.

I'm sorry I got on your case so much, just for a phrase. I don't want to explain any further why it bugs me so much in particular, but I hope this more neutral explanation will do.

Free?
08-06-2009, 08:57 AM
now that is AWESOME advice anyone who gets bullied should take to heart. at least, I personally feel that that could help a shitload. get. a. hobby. you meet new people outside of school & those who are from your school learn to see you in a new daylight.

*thumbs up*

you know what it is with people who say "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger"? either they've been through some rough times themselves & know to some extend what they're talking about (those are the people for who it seems easy to talk, because *they*'re doing fine now), or it's people who don't have a clue what they're talking about, but just throw that cliché out there to have at least something to say, before they change the subject.

I'm sorry I got on your case so much, just for a phrase. I don't want to explain any further why it bugs me so much in particular, but I hope this more neutral explanation will do.

Don't worry about that too much. Your post didn't kill him, right?

JoY
08-06-2009, 08:58 AM
hah! I bet he came out stronger. ;p

Rooster
08-06-2009, 09:16 AM
hah! I bet he came out stronger. ;p

It's ok, i'm still alive :D

And i don't mind you got on my case so much, so it's all ok.

SK8rocka
08-06-2009, 03:52 PM
if your bullied, your either a nerd or an emo that nobody understands.

AllIn All It's Not So Bad
08-06-2009, 04:01 PM
if your bullied, your either a nerd or an emo that nobody understands.

that's funny

and everything that raptor88 posted i would post but im just too lazy to type looooooooong posts.

eventually, in the future, everything that was cool in school, wont matter. and if you make it though all the shit, you'll be a happier, stronger, more confident person


topic: bullying
last post: Allin All It's Not So Bad.
just noticed what is funny about that

Llamas
08-06-2009, 06:17 PM
I'm a little offended that dexternumbers said that obviously none of us here have been bullied. I was never really bullied physically, where I was injured, but I was bullied verbally and otherwise. The first day I moved to a new school when I was 12, some kids broke into my locker and threw all my stuff down the hall. It was my first day and people were already bullying me.

The pinnacle of it was when I was 15... this same kid who'd been bullying me for three years (same kid who threw my stuff down the hall) called my house while I was out. My 7 year old sister answered the phone and this guy started saying really dirty things to her about his penis and stuff. My sister hung up the phone crying, and told my mom what just happened. My mom called the number back, and a girl answered. She said she'd just received a call from that number, and that it had been a guy. The girl said it must have been her friend, Andy, who'd just taken the phone into another room to make a call. My mom told her what happened, and the girl (who was another classmate of mine) felt really bad about it and apologized. She didn't actually know what Andy had just done. When my mom told me what happened when I got home, I knew exactly which Andy it was, so my mom looked him up in the school phone book and told his parents what he'd done. His parents forced him to call me and my sister and apologize. He never bullied me again... strangely enough. He was incredibly embarrassed.

I used to go home crying every day in middle school, and I was severely depressed in high school. I didn't have support at home, as my mom would mock me for crying, and when I'd do something bad, she'd say "no wonder you don't have any friends". My mom made all my clothes and cut my hair, so I was fashionably outcast... she didn't allow me to shave, pick my own clothes, or get my own haircuts til I was 14 or 15. The things people said about me were terrible and scarring, until it got to a point where I stopped listening to them and started playing off it. Most those people now feel really bad about what they did to others in high school... I've been apologized to by a couple people, but I don't really care; none of it matters now.

T-6005
08-06-2009, 06:44 PM
Bad experiences are where I get my wry wit and cool detachment.

Case in point - last week I was financially cut off with very little leeway and mounting costs that I absolutely won't be able to cover myself in the next few months. And yet I'm sitting here reading a book and amusing myself browsing the internet.

A certain amount of distance from your troubles is always necessary - it helps in figuring out which events are truly worth stressing out over.

Abject poverty in a foreign country? Please. That's barely a 5.

JoY
08-07-2009, 12:08 AM
I'm a little offended that dexternumbers said that obviously none of us here have been bullied. I was never really bullied physically, where I was injured, but I was bullied verbally and otherwise.

I'm a little bit offended that you're offended by a random bitter post made by someone who knows nothing.<3

_Lost_
08-07-2009, 02:01 AM
I was a little offended by it too, Llamas.

randman21
08-07-2009, 03:54 AM
I'm a little offended that dexternumbers said that obviously none of us here have been bullied.
But to be fair, the impression you gave (or at least that I got) from your first couple of posts in this thread was that what you experienced was some light hazing here or there, when, as I just read, some major shit went down. Plus the fact that a lot of people are joking. To a fourteen year old, I'm sure this translates to "no one cares/understands," so I can see why she said that. Although I do realize that she would have had to ignore the many earlier posts where folks were empathizing and sharing their stories...

Furthermore, I feel bad for those who were bullied. I never went through that at all, but I'm glad you guys made it out alright.

Rutegard
08-07-2009, 04:34 AM
i used to bullied some specific friends i had (psychological abuse counts right?)

and it fucking tears me apart everytime i think about it :(

Little_Miss_1565
08-07-2009, 08:16 AM
Ruty, it does indeed count. I dealt with death threats, nasty rumors (former best friend told everyone I was a vampire witch lesbian...and people actually believed her). Oh, and of course this was when I was a goth and then Columbine happened. After a lot of freaking out and calling the cops, I finally learned that all you can really do in the face of that is not put up with that treatment, and carry on as though it doesn't bother you. Eventually you can only hope that people see that you're not what people say. The tables turned on my former friend so hard that she left the school a year later. She never learned, though. In fact, the last conversation I had with a friend a year after she left the school was that she was still trying to convince him that I was a witch. And then that friend passed away a few months later. I do honestly feel like it's made me a stronger person in retrospect. It's not just lip service when people say that.

ad8
08-07-2009, 08:42 AM
I can't believe my straight-from-the-heart, and 100% proven advice went unnoticed by the majority of people here.

What a terrible place.
You should carry a gun next time you come here. Maybe people will be nicer.:cool:

Rutegard
08-07-2009, 09:27 AM
Ruty, it does indeed count. I dealt with death threats, nasty rumors (former best friend told everyone I was a vampire witch lesbian...and people actually believed her).


fuck sorry to hear that :( (tho i loved the vampire part cause its fucking sexy) - if it were today, id give u a pentagram and fake blood, some nice candles and put u in my house (with some nice vampire teeth), then id invite that girl into my house so she could see by her own eyes while u cursed her, then we would so fucking laugh our ass off!! that bitch!

i was 6 when i started, u wouldnt believe how fucking mean i really were, just because a chick was ugly i would turn the whole class against her or i would terrorize the only black chick in the whole school, then the next year i moved to the another school and there were another black kid there and some guys were treating her like shit, but this time i was the one that step out toprotect her cause my sister had a serious conversation with me and everything she said made sense and then i realized how a nasty bitch i had been....i was 7 by the time i got compassion feelings..

but then, when i was 9 i suddenly started to mock a fat chick, but then i felt so horrible about that too that i managed to become her best friend the whole next school years after that

fuck, i even used to steal thae lunch of that lil black girl!!!

i wish i could see her again and tell her how fucking sorry i am. :(

Llamas
08-07-2009, 10:41 AM
I do actually agree with 1565 that being bullied and treated badly growing up can make you a stronger person.

I'm sometimes grateful for it, because I often think that had I been accepted and popular, I would've been one of the people who was mean to uncool kids. I don't know if that's true, but it bothers me.

I'm also glad for it because it equips me better for being a teacher. A teacher who was bullied herself is so much better able to prevent bullying in her classes, point out bullies and put them in their places, and work with the bullied kids to no longer be bullied... without having to wait for those that are picked on to approach the teacher and look like a tattle tale. It also works in my corner that my students usually love me and think I'm awesome (omg bragging), so when I do have a bully in my classes and they wanna tell me about this and that and go home and tell their parents about how much they love my class... that makes me so much more effective. Not that it's 100% of the time, but I've at least diminished some bullying before. It's so painful to see it happen to other kids, when you know exactly what it's like, and you know how those kids are feeling. It really hurts, and it's even hard to stay cool with the bully kids.

Rag Doll
08-07-2009, 10:57 AM
The former friend bullying is the absolute worst. When I was in middle school this girl that I had been friends with since I was born (literally) turned basically our whole group of friends against me with lies. She said all kinds of ridiculous shit about me and they were all manipulated into believing her. Then they started spreading it to other people. I was really miserable and the school administration basically blamed me for it and would do nothing to help me. That lasted for like 2-3 years when everyone was finally like, "shiiiiit, this girl is a crazy liar. she lies about EVERYTHING and is a bitch" and apologized and we were all friends again for the most part. The original instigator to the whole thing still doesn't speak with any of us, except to try to cause drama. Like other people have said, I think I'm a much better and stronger person for having gone through that. I sometimes feel it's made me *too* compassionate and sensitive, but that's better than being a total bitch.

JoY
08-07-2009, 12:45 PM
girls suck so much, I bet everyone who ever befriended a chick has a similar story. just god damn awful. I have one that really sticks out (two I can think of from the top of my head), but I'm certain that if I go a bit beyond the total obvious - my very own group of friends who collectively turned against me (except for two, who would tell me what was going on, but who weren't open about it to the group, which is pretty much just as hurtful) & helped me in deeper shit than I already was - I'm sure I'd remember more situations in which friendships just backfired into becoming a total fucking backstabbing bitchfest. it's like this girl-game I've never understood. I don't know how to participate, I don't want to participate & it's helped to make a good chunk of time in high school even more miserable for me, than it already was. maybe I wasn't the kid that got bullied, but betrayed by friends? in the worst of ways.

Paint_It_Black
08-07-2009, 01:54 PM
I do actually agree with 1565 that being bullied and treated badly growing up can make you a stronger person.

I don't know if being bullied made me a stronger person, but it made me a better person in so many ways. I think most of the issues I have now stem from being bullied, but it was possibly worth it.

I mostly dealt with bullies by beating the shit out of them. For a while I went a little far and became kind of a bully myself. Sort of a proactive approach. If I made fun of someone then all the kids would be laughing at the poor bastard and not me. If I could provoke them far enough to take a swing at me then even better, because now I had justification to knock them down. Suddenly I'm witty, badass, and still get to claim "I don't start fights, I just finish them" because I never swing first. Good times. Until I start to realize that all my "friends" are literally afraid of me and I've become something I hate. That was when I was 14 or so. At that point I made a conscious decision to try to be the kind of person I wanted to be. A nice person. The bullying I received went back up, but I found that if I just beat the crap out of one bully every couple of weeks or so it stayed mostly under control. I'm not recommending any of this, other than the part about being a nice person. I'm just telling my story.

An interesting related point to this is that I eventually apologized to my two best friends. Even after I stopped being a total asshole I still bossed them around and made sure I was clearly in charge. It wasn't until I was 18 or so that I apologized for that. One of them really appreciated the apology. The other one said it was never a big deal, because he liked being a follower. That really shocked me at the time. It hadn't occurred to me that anyone enjoyed being at the bottom of the pack. Or somewhere kinda mid-level anyway. And I realized that said more about me than it did about him. More soul searching and self-improvement ensued.

The worst bullies were girls, without any doubt. I couldn't hit them, even when they hit me. And saying mean things to them just didn't feel right either. I was always oddly chivalrous. One girl bullied me so intensively that I broke down crying in front of this PE teacher amusingly named Mr. Trollop. The dude was built like the fucking terminator and always seemed like he experienced a roughly equivalent amount of emotion. I will never forget how kindly he treated me and how fucking harshly he dealt with that bitch. I can't say he completely solved the problem, but he made it bearable. Oh, I also realized later that I think that girl initially maybe liked me, and she mistook my shyness as a slight against her. Shame I didn't have the wisdom to figure that out at the time. She was probably easy.

_Lost_
08-07-2009, 10:43 PM
I agree with girls being the worst bullies.

The thing that I hate most about them is that half the time they'll act all fake nice and polite towards you and then turn around and slap you and call you a cry baby and make everyone laugh at you.

Usually I am the type to walk away from a fight, unless I have no choice. They feed off of that.

Eccentric Sara
08-08-2009, 12:15 AM
I agree partly,in that bullying in moderation can be a learning experience,and that it can better equip you for the future,as you learn how to deal better with hostility from other people.
However,I was bullied excessively at school,and never really learned how to deal with it.It just made me weaker,more introvert,and more afraid of being myself.I was made into an outcast because I worked hard and got good grades,and because I wore glasses.I got stereotyped,basically.I also got ridiculed in the sixth form(age 16 to 18)for wearing alternative clothes,which,to be honest,were very tame,compared to what I wear now.I didn't have any friends for five years,from age 13 to 18.When I tried to make friends with people,they said they didn't like me and made fun of me,so I gave up in the end.As a result of this social isolation,I didn't have the same experiences most teenagers do-i.e.-I didn't gain social skills,as I didn't have the chance to socialise,and if people were nice to me,I assumed they were being sarcastic/taking the piss,or whatever.I also has no sex life,as I didn't have a boyfriend until I started uni.This lack of acquisition of basic social skills has had a knock-on effect on the rest of my life,as it's taken me til my 20s to build up social skills other people my age gained years ago.:( I still make social blunders,and act younger than I am,and I find it depressing that while others my age have established groups of friends,long-term partners,kids etc,I'm still getting to grips with being myself infront of people(something I can rarely do,without alienating people!),and have never had a longterm relationship,even though I'm a nice person,and treat blokes really well.
Don't get me wrong,the bullying was verbal,not physical,and it could have been a lot,lot worse.However,people who think that the effects of bullying end when you leave school are very short-sighted!
(Rant over.:p)

_Lost_
08-08-2009, 12:34 AM
That didn't really sound like a rant to me, but whatevs. ;)

I think you are missing the point. No one is saying that as soon as the bullying stops, things become perfectly okay. A lot of people have said things to the contrary about the many negative lingering effects there have been too. The Talking Pie was the most clear about it, but a lot of people have talked about the ways in which being bullied socially, for lack of a better word, handicapped them for years and often its still ongoing.

I was fortunate to have been bullied by two girls who didn't have a whole lot of influence on much of anyone else at school. One girl managed to temporarily ruin a couple friendships, but as soon as she was gone, they apologized. So I still had the support of my group at school (the core of that group still remain my best friends to this date).

offspringer24
08-08-2009, 12:35 AM
I agree partly,in that bullying in moderation can be a learning experience,and that it can better equip you for the future,as you learn how to deal better with hostility from other people.
However,I was bullied excessively at school,and never really learned how to deal with it.It just made me weaker,more introvert,and more afraid of being myself.I was made into an outcast because I worked hard and got good grades,and because I wore glasses.I got stereotyped,basically.I also got ridiculed in the sixth form(age 16 to 18)for wearing alternative clothes,which,to be honest,were very tame,compared to what I wear now.I didn't have any friends for five years,from age 13 to 18.When I tried to make friends with people,they said they didn't like me and made fun of me,so I gave up in the end.As a result of this social isolation,I didn't have the same experiences most teenagers do-i.e.-I didn't gain social skills,as I didn't have the chance to socialise,and if people were nice to me,I assumed they were being sarcastic/taking the piss,or whatever.I also has no sex life,as I didn't have a boyfriend until I started uni.This lack of acquisition of basic social skills has had a knock-on effect on the rest of my life,as it's taken me til my 20s to build up social skills other people my age gained years ago.:( I still make social blunders,and act younger than I am,and I find it depressing that while others my age have established groups of friends,long-term partners,kids etc,I'm still getting to grips with being myself infront of people(something I can rarely do,without alienating people!),and have never had a longterm relationship,even though I'm a nice person,and treat blokes really well.
Don't get me wrong,the bullying was verbal,not physical,and it could have been a lot,lot worse.However,people who think that the effects of bullying end when you leave school are very short-sighted!
(Rant over.:p)

thats just fucking blows and if you ask me you're not the problem, you just been unlucky enough to meet too many wankers :)

i was never really bullied although i got my head kicked in by about twelve 16 to 25 year olds when i was 15 all because i had long hair at the time, i stopped a kid hitting another (he was hitting him "because he's black")????

anyways i stopped this kid and he said id regret it.... come dinner time he'd got his brother ( who was 25 at the time and apparently the 'hard man' of the estate) and some friends to come over to me.

i was sitting on a wall and they come from behind me, pulled my hair back and just started kicking me in the face, ribs, back... just about anywhere. they put cigarettes out on my face, just sick bastards really, anyays a teacher found out and drove round to me.... my face was... well i was unrecognisable and i was concussed and throwing up and shit in the ambulance on way to hospital.

i have no scars or anything (physical) so im very lucky, considering i was told that really due to the amount of kicks and punches i had to the head my injuries should have been much worse :)

oh well fuck em, they're scumbags.

Eccentric Sara
08-08-2009, 12:53 AM
That sucks!:( I was lucky in that my bullying wasn't physical,but at the same time,this lack of violence stopped the teachers from taking the bullying seriously.I was being bullied by my entire year group,pretty much,and some of the teachers.Everyone knew it was going on,but nothing was done about it.If I had been beaten up,I think somebody would've stepped in,and made an effort to stop it.

Eccentric Sara
08-08-2009, 01:00 AM
That didn't really sound like a rant to me, but whatevs. ;)

I think you are missing the point. No one is saying that as soon as the bullying stops, things become perfectly okay. A lot of people have said things to the contrary about the many negative lingering effects there have been too. The Talking Pie was the most clear about it, but a lot of people have talked about the ways in which being bullied socially, for lack of a better word, handicapped them for years and often its still ongoing.

I was fortunate to have been bullied by two girls who didn't have a whole lot of influence on much of anyone else at school. One girl managed to temporarily ruin a couple friendships, but as soon as she was gone, they apologized. So I still had the support of my group at school (the core of that group still remain my best friends to this date).
Maybe I was missing the point!lol Like I said,it was justa rant really!
You were very lucky to have support from your friends!:) I didn't have friends to talk to or stick up for me,so I was seen as vulnerable,and an easy target.I'm not saying I was worse off than other people who got bullied,but having friends would've made it a lot more bearable.
And on a not-entirely-relevant note,why is it that people who bullied you at school try to add you on Facebook?!!:mad: One girl,who was a complete bitch to me for five years has friend-requested me about ten times!She hated me for years,and made me miserable,so why she thinks I would want to be friends with her is fucking beyond me!No need for it!!!!!

Homer
08-08-2009, 03:09 AM
This thread got shitty real quick.

dexter12296566
08-09-2009, 10:57 AM
What? Hit them back? Insult them back? I said NOT to respond. DON'T react. They love it when you react and they can tell it bothers you. I used to roll my eyes and smile at bullies. They stopped bothering me because my reactions bored them.

You can't hit them back. They will hit harder next time. You guys just don't get it. I get it pArAda. It happens to me, too. When I ignore them they pull my hair and one chic stabbed me with scissors.

Llamas
08-09-2009, 11:33 AM
You can't hit them back. They will hit harder next time. You guys just don't get it. I get it pArAda. It happens to me, too. When I ignore them they pull my hair and one chic stabbed me with scissors.

Learn to read. I did not say to hit them back. I said DON'T hit them back. I said that like 3 times now.

And if someone stabbed you, you show a teacher who's in the room and the kid gets kicked out of school.

Rooster
08-09-2009, 11:52 AM
You can't hit them back. They will hit harder next time. You guys just don't get it. I get it pArAda. It happens to me, too. When I ignore them they pull my hair and one chic stabbed me with scissors.


Oh, we DO get it. Don't try to tell me i don't know what is like to be bullied and made fun of...

There were times when i thought there was simply no way out. I was being beaten by schoolmates (not to mention all the psychological bulliying), they were hiding my stuff, isolating me from their group,... But guess what? I'm still alive, and if anything, those things made me tougher. It sucked, yeah, it sucked really bad, but i got over it.

By telling us that we don't know what it's like to be bullied you are making it look like you think other people just didn't have to go through all that stuff themselves, and some may take that as an insult (and some DID). Many here (me included) went through all that.

Also, ilovellamas gave you a good advice here - you should have told the teacher.

AllIn All It's Not So Bad
08-09-2009, 11:54 AM
what if this girl turns into one of those psychopath kids and runs up to school with a gun to kill everyone she hates

i think it would suck if the offspring's forum would be associated to this


i'm surprised that ninthz or rickycrack haven't mentioned anything about "omg you're so full of teen angst"

Harleyquiiinn
08-09-2009, 12:00 PM
Wah I read every messages. You people grew up in wild places :eek:

I lived or witnessed some uncool stuff during my school time but it was never related to bullying. I wasn't bullied and never witnessed anyone being bullied.

So yes, I guess I couldn't get it...

I thought what you saw in movies or Diney Channel was just a caricature...

The Talking Pie
08-09-2009, 12:04 PM
You guys just don't get it.

Will you please stop coming out with this shit? We've all been pouring our hearts out on here and sharing our experiences in the hopes of helping someone, and you come along and trivialise it all. We do get it. All of us. You're the one who's waltzing through this thread completely oblivious to what's being said.

So many of us have tried to help you and give you advice, even when you annoy the piss out of us (myself included), but you're just not even trying to take anything on board. You just want the attention.

Llamas
08-09-2009, 12:15 PM
Also, ilovellamas gave you a good advice here - you should have told the teacher.

Thank you for pointing this out.

I am a teacher and I've gotten kids thrown out of school for a week due to violence. I had some kids punching/kicking other kids, the principal was told and 3 or 4 kids were not allowed back in my class for over a week.

If one teacher doesn't react the way you want them to, you tell another teacher... or you step it up and tell the principal. There's also little to no chance that you're ever the only one in a school that's being bullied. One great tactic is to find other kids who are bullied by the same people and all of you go to the principal at once. One of the biggest problems with bullying is that kids who are bullied are afraid to tell. I was always afraid to tell for the first couple years, because I was embarrassed. Get over yourself and tell a teacher. There are solutions to these problems.

Paint_It_Black
08-10-2009, 06:57 AM
I've never entirely understood how giving bad kids a vacation is punishment. I knew some kids who were suspended for a while and they loved it, which to me seemed entirely obvious. The only kids who would be concerned about missing school for a week are the ones who don't get in trouble anyway.

nieh
08-10-2009, 07:48 AM
I agree, I always thought it would make more sense to make them stay overnight. They would HATE that.

Llamas
08-10-2009, 08:57 AM
Well, for one, their parents are gonna be PISSED at them. For another, you get sent home enough, you'll eventually get expelled. Plus, usually when kids are sent home, they're also given a detention later, which is generally worse than being in class. And furthermore, if they're people that do their schoolwork (which most of them actually are), the work piles up while they're gone and they have tons to make up.

The idea behind sending them home, though, is actually less of a punishment for them, and more of a reliever for everyone else in the room. The point is that the teacher doesn't have to put up with that kid and nor do the kids that that asshole is treating like shit. That's the real goal, more than punishment.

nieh
08-10-2009, 09:14 AM
If they replaced suspension with some other form of punishment, most of those would be moot points. Ideally the parents will be pissed regardless of what the punishment is. Also, the "if you get sent home enough, you can get expelled" thing would be replaced by "if you do such and such, you can get expelled". The intent of suspension might be to just get the kid away from everyone else for a little bit of time, but that doesn't change the fact that it probably acts as a form of positive reinforcement for some kids that really do see it as a vacation.

Rag Doll
08-10-2009, 10:11 AM
In high school, a close friend of mine and his friends would regularly stage all out brawls in the hallways to get suspended for a week. Everyone (even in the administration) knew they were friends and knew they wanted to get suspended and yet...they did it anyway. And then they'd usually go down the shore for a week or get drunk every night.

Also, I've never heard of it leading to expulsion. Here they also send your work for the week home with you, so you hopefully don't have anything to catch up on.

Llamas
08-10-2009, 10:52 AM
Also, I've never heard of it leading to expulsion. Here they also send your work for the week home with you, so you hopefully don't have anything to catch up on.

Wow, both parts of that are really lame. Several people were expelled from my high school for being suspended too many times. And sending your work home with you... that's just stupid.

I'd be all for a better option than suspension, but nobody has come up with one thus far. It serves its purpose for the most part, but everything has its flaws. The topic of the threat is bullying, and getting the a-holes suspended does decrease bullying often.

ninthz
08-10-2009, 12:21 PM
i'm surprised that ninthz or rickycrack haven't mentioned anything about "omg you're so full of teen angst"
It kind of goes without saying.

Paint_It_Black
08-10-2009, 06:39 PM
I always thought that in-school suspension was a good choice. I don't know if they do that everywhere, but at the school I went to people who were put on in-school detention had to sit at a desk in the hallway during classes and do work from a book, then when classes got out for breaks they were taken in somewhere so they still couldn't spend any time with their friends. It seemed borderline cruel, and I suspected it was pretty effective. I certainly would have hated it.

Llamas
08-10-2009, 06:46 PM
I always thought that in-school suspension was a good choice. I don't know if they do that everywhere, but at the school I went to people who were put on in-school detention had to sit at a desk in the hallway during classes and do work from a book, then when classes got out for breaks they were taken in somewhere so they still couldn't spend any time with their friends. It seemed borderline cruel, and I suspected it was pretty effective. I certainly would have hated it.

My middle school did that, and the kids would just duck into the bathroom or wander off and disrupt other classes because there was nobody there watching them. This idea only works if there is someone paid to specifically sit in a room to monitor in school suspended kids.

Paint_It_Black
08-10-2009, 06:53 PM
Agreed, that would be the best way. However, at my school they made the "suspended" kid sit opposite a classroom window so a teacher could see them basically all the time. And they made the kid face the wall so he/she couldn't make stupid faces and disrupt the class. Effective, and cost-effective.

Llamas
08-10-2009, 07:15 PM
Agreed, that would be the best way. However, at my school they made the "suspended" kid sit opposite a classroom window so a teacher could see them basically all the time. And they made the kid face the wall so he/she couldn't make stupid faces and disrupt the class. Effective, and cost-effective.

That might work, but the teacher can't be watching all the time, and the moment the teacher turns his/her back or just sounds busy, that student might duck out... the teacher can't watch out the window for the entire class. And in a big enough school, it'd be pretty obnoxious to go find the kid. The teacher's not gonna be able to leave the classroom to chase after the kid. But if the teacher could just call someone who could track them down, then it might be okay... there's of course no perfect solution, but it's interesting to hear what various schools do.

nieh
08-10-2009, 07:27 PM
Have in school suspension in its own room as opposed to in the hallway, and have a rotating shift of whoever's not teaching a class at the moment watch him.

Rag Doll
08-10-2009, 07:28 PM
This idea only works if there is someone paid to specifically sit in a room to monitor in school suspended kids.

We had that in middle school and high school. In middle school, there was a very tiny room for just the teacher and 1 or 2 students and they stayed there alllllll day. In high school, they'd move them from empty classroom to empty classroom, without allowing them contact with other students.


Wow, both parts of that are really lame. Several people were expelled from my high school for being suspended too many times. And sending your work home with you... that's just stupid.

We only had a few people ever expelled. One for stabbing someone and one for hitting the VP over the head with a rolodex. They didn't even expel the kids that sold drugs across the street from the school....just an extended suspension.

I don't think bullying even got someone suspended here. Generally, both the person doing the bullying and the person being bullied would be called down to the office and receive a lecture to leave each other alone. That's about it. It could work to give the kid being bullied a bit of a breather if it's done right, but my school district clearly didn't use it effectively.

Llamas
08-10-2009, 08:16 PM
Have in school suspension in its own room as opposed to in the hallway, and have a rotating shift of whoever's not teaching a class at the moment watch him.

This most certainly sounds like the best solution. The ONLY downside to this is that those periods when teachers aren't teaching are their prep periods. If a kid is a real asshole (which many kids who deserve suspension are), he/she will keep the teacher distracted and they won't get their prep done. Getting classes/notes/lectures prepared is hard enough, without having a trouble maker in the room.


We had that in middle school and high school. In middle school, there was a very tiny room for just the teacher and 1 or 2 students and they stayed there alllllll day. In high school, they'd move them from empty classroom to empty classroom, without allowing them contact with other students.
Yeah, seems like a great idea... just a really shitty job for that teacher, haha. But I think that'd be the best solution if possible.


We only had a few people ever expelled. One for stabbing someone and one for hitting the VP over the head with a rolodex. They didn't even expel the kids that sold drugs across the street from the school....just an extended suspension.

I don't think bullying even got someone suspended here. Generally, both the person doing the bullying and the person being bullied would be called down to the office and receive a lecture to leave each other alone. That's about it. It could work to give the kid being bullied a bit of a breather if it's done right, but my school district clearly didn't use it effectively.

:-/ My school had a lot of expulsions, and the funny thing was that the rest of the district thought that we just had a lot of delinquent/terrible kids... the thing was our school was just a lot harder on kids than most schools. People didn't get away with stuff. All the kids who got caught with pot during a drug raid got at least suspended, with several getting expelled if it was a second offense. My school wasn't great in any way, but we didn't really have much in the way of physical bullying. I remember a couple kids getting expelled for getting in a fist fight in the hallway. They were pretty intolerant, and I think it worked for the most part.

_Lost_
08-11-2009, 12:21 AM
They practically never expell people in my county. I've never known anyone to get expelled actually. We just have "long term suspension" which usually lasts a year and they have to do something reaaaaally awful to get that. My county is so focused on having good numbers that its ridiculous. They've redistricted only god knows how many times to even out test scores between rich and poor schools, so you've got a lot of kids whose parents moved to a specific area for the school dealing with the fact that their child is now at the worst school in guilford county. They list drop out students as having transferred to other schools so as to not lower the graduation rate. And they don't expell students to make their numbers better. Its painful and I'm very happy to be out of the public school system here.


Have in school suspension in its own room as opposed to in the hallway, and have a rotating shift of whoever's not teaching a class at the moment watch him.

Thats how they did it when I was in middle/elementary school. I don't know how they did it for highschool, but I know people given such a punishment often escaped.

ninthz
08-11-2009, 12:48 AM
I grew up in Iowa. Our school system is phenomenal.

_Lost_
08-11-2009, 12:52 AM
After talking to you and eric enough, I can atest to this.

ninthz
08-11-2009, 12:59 AM
attest dawg, attest

_Lost_
08-11-2009, 02:39 AM
North Carolina public schools.

JoY
08-20-2009, 11:13 AM
Well, for one, their parents are gonna be PISSED at them.

I don't know if anyone has pointed this out yet, but there are some very crummy parents out there that may attribute to their kid becoming such a piece of work & pain in the ass.

I remember when I was little, my mom once called the parents of one of the two girls who just wouldn't get off my back. when she told me about the phonecall, she had her eyebrows still raised like "what the fuck" & told me her parents basically sighed on the other end of the line, like my mom was wasting their time, & asked her why this was a problem. she was shocked.