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View Full Version : Okay, so....problem...



Static_Martyr
11-20-2009, 04:25 PM
I've worked in the same cafeteria for two and a half years, and I've never had this happen before. I figured some of you people might be sexy/attractive/etc. in real life, so maybe you've had this problem and can help me out :D

There's this old lady that's been coming in recently (like 50-60, not REAL old but at least twice my age and then some), and I noticed that she was always looking at me and grinning. But I just kinda dismissed it (I didn't want to be the guy that's like, "Oh, that chick is checking me out," especially under the circumstances....) and moved on.

Well, yesterday we were kinda slow, so it was just me and this old lady standing there. My boss had to run to the bank and my co-workers were all off doing something else. We were having this really idle, innocent discussion about some completely unrelated (non-sexual) matters....and all of a sudden she waves like she wants me to come over. Thinking nothing of it, I did. She says, "can I ask you a question?" And I'm like, "sure, why not?" And she says, totally straight-faced, in this weird voice, "are you a virgin?"

And I of course kind of double-taked. I think I said "what what?" about 4 times in just a few seconds. I eventually managed to say something like, "Um, awkward moment," just as a light comment (for context, that's a reference to this old The Tick joke that we use at work a lot), and she gets this weird look and says, "Was that awkward?" like she really just doesn't get why that might rub me the wrong way (no pun intended). And I just kinda said, "Um, a little....but um, don't worry about it, I uh," and then I just left without finishing the conversation. I was trying to be nice, but at the same time I was kind of freaked, just a little bit.

That's not a huge problem in itself, because I could easily blow her off if it kept coming up. But this lady shows up quite often now, and I'm not really sure how to handle this without being rude or weird about it....worst-case scenario I can just tell her off to her face, but I'd like to try and avoid being a blatant asshole about it if possible.

Keeping in mind, there's only maybe a 50-60% chance that she was actually coming on to me....but the way her behavior towards me has changed since then is still kind of uncomfortable....I don't want to say anything directly without knowing for sure what she meant when she asked me that, but I don't want to just kind of let it slide like this if I'm going to have to deal with her directly from now until whenever....

And yes, you can laugh at me now :(

dexter12296566
11-20-2009, 04:42 PM
Well... I can see why that would creep you out but just try to be nice. Tell her that it was inappropriate but be nice about it. Or tell her questions like that make you uncomfortable. No I won't laugh and nothing like that has ever happened to me!

Homer
11-20-2009, 05:25 PM
Just like, tell her you're gay or something.

Seems like the best course of action.

Apathy
11-20-2009, 05:39 PM
I'm confused as to why you didn't just answer the question? Surely it's not That awkward.

kaylae
11-20-2009, 05:59 PM
I'm confused as to why you didn't just answer the question? Surely it's not That awkward.

He probably didn't answer cos she's a dirty old bitch and she made him feel uncomfortable.
Tell her you have a girlfriend, and anyway you're not into granny bashing,
and if all else fails, put a couple of laxatives in the pervy old bags coffee, that should get rid of her

dexter12296566
11-20-2009, 06:21 PM
What kind of sound does a skunk make?!

DMelges
11-20-2009, 07:36 PM
Well man.... it depends on you. If you want to have some fun with this 'old' lady, go for it, lol. But if not, just tell her you have a girlfriend and you are faithful. That should do it.

jacknife737
11-20-2009, 07:43 PM
Man, just hit it and quit it.

kaylae
11-20-2009, 07:44 PM
Well man.... it depends on you. If you want to have some fun with this 'old' lady, go for it, lol. But if not, just tell her you have a girlfriend and you are faithful. That should do it.

Dude! She's like old enough to be his nan, I can't imagine that he wants to have some fun with her lol, I bet she doesn't look like Madonna or Sharon Stone or the old bird out of sex and the city either!

dexter12296566
11-20-2009, 07:45 PM
Dude! She's like old enough to be his nan, I can't imagine that he wants to have some fun with her lol, I bet she doesn't look like Madonna or Sharon Stone or the old bird out of sex and the city either!

The age don't matter. I would fuck dex(i want to fuck dex) and he is 28.75 years older than me!

kaylae
11-20-2009, 07:47 PM
The age don't matter. I would fuck dex(i want to fuck dex) and he is 28.75 years older than me!

Ha ha, but I bet you wouldn't look at one of your dads mates and fancy them would you?

dexter12296566
11-20-2009, 07:52 PM
Ha ha, but I bet you wouldn't look at one of your dads mates and fancy them would you?
no they r not cute and sexy like dexter is. besides they are like uncles to me that would be creepy!

Al Coholic
11-20-2009, 09:58 PM
I think this is kinda funny, and you should too. You will one day. You should take it lightly, and work your way out of conversations with the old lady if they creep you out. This can be done without telling anyone off. You just answer questions with curt yes and no's, nothing to build off of conversationally.

Harleyquiiinn
11-21-2009, 12:52 AM
I think this is kinda funny, and you should too. You will one day. You should take it lightly, and work your way out of conversations with the old lady if they creep you out. This can be done without telling anyone off. You just answer questions with curt yes and no's, nothing to build off of conversationally.

Yes, eventually you will think it's funny... it actually happened to me but the guy who was the age of my father and also my boss wasn't that direct. Lucky you :D Seriously, that will probably happen again... older people thinking they can still be charming for a younger one. Be polite, because these people aren't being mean to you, but don't give any hope. And don't take it so seriously if it doesn't have any consequences.

If it happens again and if you see this is going to be a routine, since you don't want to sleep with her, there is a moment where she is gonna be disappointed and humiliated. Disappointed and humiliated people get angry. Angry people want to hurt what or who made them angry, like trying to get them fired. So, this is just one time but if it happens again, I suggest you talk to your boss. Just explain the situation so that if something happens publicly, if she yells at you or anything, if you have to ask her to stop touching your ass etc..., your boss will understand the situation and not blame you for it

(I ended up being fired by his ex-wife, in case anyone is interested...)

kaylae
11-21-2009, 05:10 AM
(I ended up being fired by his ex-wife, in case anyone is interested...)[/QUOTE]

She fucking fired you!? What a bitch! I bet that didn't solve any of her problems seeing as her husband was obviously a lecherous pig!

I had a similar problem with an ex boss, I used to work in a pub and I stayed there and one morning I woke up and the freak was in bed with me!!! I nearly had a heart attack, I ended up going to human resources and he got fired

Harleyquiiinn
11-21-2009, 05:26 AM
(I ended up being fired by his ex-wife, in case anyone is interested...)

She fucking fired you!? What a bitch! I bet that didn't solve any of her problems seeing as her husband was obviously a lecherous pig!

I had a similar problem with an ex boss, I used to work in a pub and I stayed there and one morning I woke up and the freak was in bed with me!!! I nearly had a heart attack, I ended up going to human resources and he got fired

Well, he fired me at her request and also because he thought it wasn't right for him to have these feelings considering how much younger I was... So, yeah... at least he knew it wasn't right... He told me that 2 years later... :D Still, I was pissed because I never encouraged anything and I really needed the job...

lol for your boss, that's very ... uh... well at least he wasn't ambiguous about it :D

kaylae
11-21-2009, 05:39 AM
Well, he fired me at her request and also because he thought it wasn't right for him to have these feelings considering how much younger I was... So, yeah... at least he knew it wasn't right... He told me that 2 years later... :D Still, I was pissed because I never encouraged anything and I really needed the job...

lol for your boss, that's very ... uh... well at least he wasn't ambiguous about it :D

I was pissed off too, I was training to become a manager and I really wanted my own pub, but that experience really put me off, human resources offered me another place but I didn't take it. I was worried that the next manager would be constantly thinking - oh god I hope she doesn't say anything about me, I was worried about making someone else uncomfortable around me because everyone knew what had happened! After I left and before John was fired he went proper mental! Jane, the cleaner told me he smashed the upstairs of the pub up so I think I had a lucky escape!

Sorry Static Martyr we seem to have got off the subject lol. I guess from experience the best thing you can do is put a stop to it now before it turns ugly, you don't have to be harsh about it just let her know you're not interested

AD90
11-21-2009, 05:58 AM
You could question her, not in an interrogative way, but just asking what she was imply or something akin to that. Might've been a complete misunderstanding.

wheelchairman
11-21-2009, 06:13 AM
Actually taking it lightly is your only option. Any other response and you'll act like an asshole. Anyways it seems like you're spending too much time thinking about it to begin with.

Static_Martyr
11-21-2009, 08:28 AM
Oh, I know it's kind of funny, and not just in retrospect....that's actually half the reason I decided to post it here :D But it was still kind of uncomfortable. I'm not really used to being approached by people I *like*, much less by people I....um, don't....0.0

I guess the part that I should've mentioned first, though, is that this old lady lives at a rehab center downtown, and is a *recovering drug addict.* I do believe the drug in question was methamphetamine. See, my boss hired this chick awhile back (who is actually much closer to my type, and much less....ah, blatant....but whom I have opted not to pursue because, in the case of failure, it would make our work relationship VERY awkward), and this chick just happened to be coming out of rehab. She turned out to be really reliable, and so my boss let her recommend a bunch of her friends from rehab. So far, there have been about 5-6 women come in from this center (it's an all-women institution), and most of them (except the first girl and this old lady) have quit not long after starting.

But anyway, awhile back I heard the first chick mention to someone else that I worked with that anyone who stays at this institution is forbidden to have any sexual contact with men (it's also a Christian institution, BTW; dunno if that's related or not).

And so on top of the fact that I am patently not interested in this person, even if I WAS, pursuing it would be a very bad idea....but she's also a friend of someone else that works with me that I like (not just in an "I like" kind of way, she's actually a good worker and a nice person anyway), and so if I act too harshly I might end up pissing both of them off somehow :(

wheelchairman
11-21-2009, 08:35 AM
But why should you act like anything? I don't see why this has brought out so many awkward thoughts for you. You know nothing really of her intentions, so why care anyways? It seems unlikely she'd try to pursue you anyways.

Unless she blatantly offends you I can't understand why its worth more than two seconds of thought.

Rag Doll
11-21-2009, 08:55 AM
I used to work retail (and in the wine/liquor industry) and would be stuck with old creepers hitting on me all the time. In the various positions I held, I was generally pretty concerned with sales. I would usually just find some humorous way to let them know I wasn't interested. Usually they'd be amused by it and we wouldn't lose the sale. If that's not an option, which it doesn't seem to be with you, there's a few things you could do. Either try to avoid her completely...I would sometimes busy myself with another customer or excuse myself to use the bathroom when a few creepers in particular came in. Or you could do what someone else said....just give short yes or no answers to questions. If she asks you something personal, just tell her you aren't comfortable discussing that, and end it there.

Static_Martyr
11-21-2009, 09:53 AM
But why should you act like anything? I don't see why this has brought out so many awkward thoughts for you. You know nothing really of her intentions, so why care anyways? It seems unlikely she'd try to pursue you anyways.

Unless she blatantly offends you I can't understand why its worth more than two seconds of thought.

I have no idea, really. It just bothered me for some reason. It's not like a logical progression or anything; it just freaked me out a little. I'm not really good at talking to people about this sort of thing anyway, and so even the possibility of that sort of situation arising kind of rubbed me the wrong way.


Or you could do what someone else said....just give short yes or no answers to questions. If she asks you something personal, just tell her you aren't comfortable discussing that, and end it there.

That's what I've been doing, actually. I think she's mad at me now because she does the same thing. But I don't really care, as long as there isn't a repeat :cool:

_Lost_
11-21-2009, 01:47 PM
I'm pretty much gonna agree with everybody here. Honestly, at all the jobs (except when I taught Mad Science to kindergarteners) I've had, there have been people like that. The first was my GM when I got my first job at Taco Bell. He'd tell other male employees about my ass and in the 6 months I worked there, he never ordered uniform pants so I was stuck in my fitted ones.

The best way imo, is to try and distance yourself from her. Get other employees to help her if you can. If you can't, stick with the polite, but short responses. If she persists, tell your boss. You don't even necessarily have to tell him/her that you feel she's making sexual advances. Just tell him/her that she makes you uncomfortable on a regular basis and see if you can get permission to pass her off to other people. If she gets mad/upset that you are avoiding her and files complaints or whatever, then your boss will know ahead of time that you were trying to deal with the problem in a nonoffensive way.

Whatever you do, don't just try to ignore that there is a problem