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F@ BANKZ
12-25-2009, 06:37 PM
I scribbled this down just now. I'll call it "We Offended".

"Boxing day
A candavour of yesterday before the procession
We announce a requium
And secure our lament
But the wounds in our hearts are aggravated
We know we are late, we know, we offended.

Tread steadily, walk with peace
For a thousand feet of weight can the collective suface dent.
In the knowledge + admittance that i was one
One of these feet. The one put forward.
I knew until today my life was a deficit
Now I awake to a new ignorance
And a known dogma

Listen
Debris' ruffle communicates through the environment
Yet I remember when we were all warriors
Immolating what we want: what is free
In ritualistic clamour
For something we are yet to see."

DMelges
12-25-2009, 06:53 PM
It's good, but I prefer simpler simbolism than realism. But good job :D