PDA

View Full Version : Public/Private



T-6005
01-22-2010, 03:02 PM
As you have no doubt guessed, I have many failings.

Part of the reason for that is because they are numerous and obvious. However, another reason my abrasive tendencies are so visible is because I don't bother to hide them very often. While meeting the parents I'll make an effort, but short of that? Please.

Now, one of my many failings, aside from brilliance and good looks, is a semi-complete inability to tell public from private. Sometimes I just don't know (or don't get) people's embarrassment with certain topics and so continue to discuss them or bring things up.

Par example.

When I got back from France this year I was jet-lagged as hell and had had one of the worst trip experiences of my life. When I finally got home we had friends over. I hung out for a bit, went to watch Avatar in that weird twilight zone after your first day awake (and after you've flown, when you feel like things are still moving slightly even when sitting still) then I had a few beers, a glass of wine, and went to sleep.

Four hours later I am roused from sleep by a panicked "HEY!"

Step one: I wake up.
Step two: I realize I am standing up. That's unusual. Hold on a second...
Step three: I realize I'm peeing right now. Standing up in the dark.
Step four: What?! I'm peeing! I'm in my room, standing up, peeing!
Step five: I finally get it and stop peeing all over the mirror in the bedroom.
Step six: Holly (utterer of HEY!) ushers me into the bathroom so I can finish, then actually cleans the rest up for me (can you say keeper?).
Step seven: I finish, slur out an apology and go back to sleep.

That was it. The next day I told the story. However a friend had a similar experience - well, it was much worse, but still - and wouldn't let me tell anyone for over a year, after which point it suddenly became alright to talk about.

Where is this line between public and private? Why can you play never have I ever like a bunch of children and brag about your sex lives in the broadest terms but squeal and run away when your little embarrassments come out of hiding?

The point is this. Everyone's got a pee story. What's yours?

DMelges
01-22-2010, 04:34 PM
I'm a bit confused wether you are talking about sleep walking or peeing in public place or embarassing someone with innapropriate subjects...

Paint_It_Black
01-22-2010, 07:20 PM
I accidentally drank my pee once. Apparently I had made use of a convenient bottle while intoxicated and then forgot what was in it. At least it was my own though. I know people who have done worse.

My brother was once working away from home and was woken one night by his colleague who was sharing the hotel room. Apparently my brother was halfway out the window and getting ready to pee/fall to his death.

I had a cat that used to pee in my shoes. I didn't know what was going on for quite some time. I only knew my shoes smelled inexplicably bad.

That's about all I've got.

DMelges
01-22-2010, 07:41 PM
I usually pee in a toilet or a urinal, but that's just me. :)

RickyCrack
01-22-2010, 09:52 PM
I don't remember this but my room mate swears that it happened. I once woke up after a night of drinking and other debauchery, climbed over my room mate sleeping on the couch and then pissed into my kitties litter box in the next room. Walked back to my room and went back to sleep. I'm pretty fucking awesome.

Paint_It_Black
01-22-2010, 10:03 PM
pissed into my kitties litter box

Pretty sure I did that when I lived in a house with a basement just to avoid going upstairs.

Now, if you took a shit in it, that would be a great story.

Jebus
01-22-2010, 10:43 PM
I went to visit some family in El Salvador a while back in a very rural farming area with no indoor plumbing. I went to the outhouse and while doing my business, a couple of huge roaches came out of the bowl in between my legs. Got up quickly and wiped. Being completely grossed out, I grabbed a can of Raid and sprayed it into the dark abyss. A couple of minutes later dozens and dozens of roaches came pouring out. And then the chickens came and started eating them. Shit sucked.

Alison
01-23-2010, 08:36 AM
I've pissed myself many times from laughing too much.
All those times I've promised myself to pee before doing anything that might cause laughs.

Llamas
01-23-2010, 08:52 AM
I don't have a pee story, but I have a poop story... last fall, I got locked out of the house I was staying in... I didn't have a key yet, and nobody was going to be home for hours. It was like 11am... and no restaurants were open (wtf? stupid small village in the middle of nowhere.) Besides restaurants, no other public places here have bathrooms. I held it and held it, and eventually just couldn't anymore. So I pooped in their yard, and covered it with grass. I tried my best to make sure I was out of view of all the neighbors, but I couldn't be certain. I really hope I was.

One of my friends woke up after a night of drinking, and his entire closet smelled like urine. Another friend sleep-walked in a hotel room, where his sister was sleeping on the floor between the two beds... she woke up to him peeing on her face.

SweetTatyana
01-23-2010, 09:08 AM
I actually have a few stories of my friends during 1st/2nd year undergrad:

One of my friends was travelling through a building late at night, drunk of course, and the bathrooms were locked so he thought a pop machine was sufficient and got caught. They made him pay like $150 fine for it lol
The worst drunk story I've ever heard to do this urine was a guy, not much a drinker just over did it one night, through up all over his bed, piss himself in his bed and slept in all of it. Had a to get a new mattress after that one. lol

Tizzalicious
01-23-2010, 11:49 AM
Per tends to tell everyone other peoples' embarrassing stories. On New Years Eve he shouted "Hey Christian! I told Phil you *embarrassing story*-ed!", while everyone was around, so now not only Phil, but the entire party knew. Poor Christian.

My reaction when Per told me the embarrassing story a few days before this happened: "And he told YOU???". I guess my shock was justified.

Paint_It_Black
01-23-2010, 12:12 PM
So I pooped in their yard, and covered it with grass. I tried my best to make sure I was out of view of all the neighbors, but I couldn't be certain.

And you think they are weird? Imagine what they think of Americans now.

Llamas
01-23-2010, 12:15 PM
And you think they are weird? Imagine what they think of Americans now.

hahahahahahaha. I did always wonder what they would've said if they saw me... if they knew I was a foreigner, or what... Wait, when did I say they were weird??

Paint_It_Black
01-23-2010, 12:27 PM
You've often mentioned the things about living there that have struck you as strange. I basically summarized that by just saying they are weird.

WebDudette
01-23-2010, 12:30 PM
There was maybe a three day stretch where I had barely slept, and at the end of it we through a party. I'd been frustrated, tired, and sober for a long time so I drank quite a bit pretty quickly before wandering off to bed. At some point in the night I got out of bed and I guess walked out of my room and stood on my stairs. A friend of mine came out of my room and asked me what I was doing and why I was out of bed. At this point, I guess I started yelling at her about Greek wrestlers and how she made the Greeks lose. Then I dropped my pants right in front of her and peed all over the steps, all the while yelling about Greeks.

I think this had less to do with alcohol consumption (though I'm sure that helped) and more to do with the fact that I was in a delirious, been awake to long, state.

Llamas
01-23-2010, 12:45 PM
You've often mentioned the things about living there that have struck you as strange. I basically summarized that by just saying they are weird.

Haha. No, no, only French people are weird ;)

Jebus
01-23-2010, 03:52 PM
I don't have a pee story, but I have a poop story... last fall, I got locked out of the house I was staying in... I didn't have a key yet, and nobody was going to be home for hours. It was like 11am... and no restaurants were open (wtf? stupid small village in the middle of nowhere.) Besides restaurants, no other public places here have bathrooms. I held it and held it, and eventually just couldn't anymore. So I pooped in their yard, and covered it with grass. I tried my best to make sure I was out of view of all the neighbors, but I couldn't be certain. I really hope I was.
How did you wipe?

nieh
01-23-2010, 03:57 PM
Where is this line between public and private? Why can you play never have I ever like a bunch of children and brag about your sex lives in the broadest terms but squeal and run away when your little embarrassments come out of hiding?

I'm actually kind of the other way around. I have no problem sharing amusing and slightly embarrassing stories about myself, but I tend to keep my love/sex-life more to myself.

_Lost_
01-23-2010, 05:44 PM
I don't have any urine stories, but one time, I was at a birthday party for a friend of several of my friends. It was his 21 and he had waay too much extra cash, so there was enough alcohol to knock out a small army. I started out with some fruity flavored smirnoff. Its my weakness... tastes like soda... I had a handful of them. Then I got into screwdrivers and when my boyfriend started complaining that my friend put more vodka than oj in his cup, I promptly grabbed it from him and downed it. Then I drank some more. I didn't even realize I was drunk until I fell off the stool at the bar that I had been sitting on since I got there. Wil caught me, placed me back on the stool and helped me balance. I don't remember anything else except for a brief moment of me being helped to my room. When I got to work the next day at noon, I was still drunk.

Ever since that party, they always made sure to get some smirnoff to get me started. My Russian friend has called me her "little puppy" ever since then because my drunken stupor was "so cute"

Offspring-Junkie
01-26-2010, 05:05 AM
You guys are all disgusting. I'm just sayin'.

IamSam
01-26-2010, 05:38 AM
You guys are all disgusting. I'm just sayin'.

Don't pee on our parade.

The only story I have is from when I was little. Back in the day, my family was trailer trash. And as with all trailers we had one bathroom. I was asleep one night and was dreaming that I was showering. While showering I heard a knock at the door and heard my little sister ask if she could go pee. I said sure. I then promptly peed my pants in reality.

wheelchairman
01-26-2010, 01:28 PM
I've more or less done the exact same thing as Thi.

Except I was finished when I snapped out of my sleep walk, so when Tizz said I pissed in the corner I said she was making stuff up (seeing as I didn't remember anything). I also said she was fucking crazy (I just woke up and I was wasted, so it seemed a logical reason for why she was making up crazy stories.)

Hilarious.

Tizzalicious
01-26-2010, 01:29 PM
Teehee, I was so angry. Not about the pissing per se, because well, he was sleep walking, and couldn't really help it. But when he said I was making it all up because I was fucking crazy, I was fuming.

WebDudette
01-26-2010, 02:15 PM
I've more or less done the exact same thing as Thi.

Except I was finished when I snapped out of my sleep walk, so when Tizz said I pissed in the corner I said she was making stuff up (seeing as I didn't remember anything). I also said she was fucking crazy (I just woke up and I was wasted, so it seemed a logical reason for why she was making up crazy stories.)

Hilarious.

I had the same claim when I did it. I straight up called my roommate and a friend of mine liars. I wish people would believe me when I told them it was more lack of sleep and sleep walking then it was alcohol.

dff_punk
01-26-2010, 02:25 PM
When one of my younger brothers was 10, he slept over me in a bunk bed. There was this strange fluid dropping on me in the night, but I did not pay attention to that since I was really sleepy. When I woke up I realized he peed himself and it was all over me too.

Yup, that is all I got.

SweetTatyana
01-27-2010, 08:17 AM
Okay this isn't a pee story per se but it happened last week and I think it needs to be told.
So, a guy I know is in a walmart buying some protein bars, face cream and other essentials. Since nobody thinks they will need a whole basket or a cart when entering walmart, he didn't grab one but ended up grabbing a bunch of stuff along the way. So hes waiting in line and of course its huge and he ends up dropping the face cream but since hes dropped it before at home (without breaking) he just picked it back up assuming it was fine. This "cream" is more like a white gel, so a couple minutes later he felt wetness on his hand, and he noticed the jar was cracked/leaking. Naturally, when you break something at a store you don't buy it so he went to put it back down some random aisle. When he walked out of the aisle, he was looking for something to wipe his hand on because it was covered in this stuff, he noticed a lady, with three little girls, give him the dirtiest look and shoo her kids in the opposite direction of him. So, walking across the store towards the home section to find a towel, thinking what a bitch, he catches a reflection of himself in a mirror, noticing that the white gel is not only on his hand but also all over the crotch of his pants!

Paint_It_Black
01-27-2010, 09:55 AM
Since nobody thinks they will need a whole basket or a cart when entering walmart, he didn't grab one but ended up grabbing a bunch of stuff along the way.

I almost always get a cart no matter what I went in for. Repeating the same mistake over and over might be the worst kind of stupidity. This particular example bugs me because I know far too many people who never get a cart because they never think they'll need it, and of course they always end up needing it. And then the fuckers fill mine.


I then promptly peed my pants in reality.

Oh man, I hate that. That happened to me a few times in my teenage years. Except I would actually dream that I was in the bathroom using the toilet, and then be woken up by that momentarily pleasant sensation of warmth that quickly turns to absolute horror. I ended up conditioning myself to look around for reality confirming details before commencing the peeing, and somewhat surprisingly this worked. After that I would always wake up right before the urinary event horizon.