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View Full Version : I suck at recieving gifts



Al Coholic
02-06-2010, 07:45 PM
It's never been a talent of mine. Some of my siblings can open something they absolutely hate and light up with faked enthusiasm. They'll get loud and animated and celebrate and smile ear to ear. I can't fake it like that. The forced smile, the in-seat celebration...it's not a good look. I know to some extent it's more of a chick thing but I'm a goddamn statue. I don't ask for anything and try to be humble in life, so it's an awkward thing for people to give me shit all wrapped up and eagerly look on as I open it. A lot of these poor people put a lot of thought in what they're giving me and I atleast want them to feel appreciated.

Sometimes I appreciate the thought but just can't say much more than a "thanks a lot!" that sounds forced. And when I really do like something...I still don't sound much like I do. To compensate I'll give reasons as to why I like this, and how useful and awesome it is. But ultimately I think anyone who ever gave me anything either thought I didn't appreciate it, or didn't realise the full extent to which I do.











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ospringfan112113
02-06-2010, 07:59 PM
I can't really pretend to be exited whenever I get a gift no matter what it is.But I usely do'nt really care for getting gifts at all,I am thankfull that people care about me to give gifts to but I do'nt really want people doing that to show me that they care.That's why the other day on my birthday I told my family not to get enything because I was just happy being with them.

bighead384
02-06-2010, 09:12 PM
Yeah I have the same problem. I think I figured out a solution sometime recently though. I'll just make a quick statement about how the gift will be useful or fun, even if it's obvious. And even if it's some unexciting, everyday object, I can still say "you can never have too many of these" or something like that. It's a forumla that works with everything, so that's why it's successful.

Al Coholic
02-06-2010, 10:41 PM
. To compensate I'll give reasons as to why I like this, and how useful and awesome it is. But ultimately I think anyone who ever gave me anything either thought I didn't appreciate it, or didn't realise the full extent to which I do.

Like I said, I do that. That's all I really got. It doesn't cut it though. I could literally be given something that I absolutely wanted more than anything in the world and just saying:

"Hey, thanks for the kidney. I'll use this thing everyday!"

Doesn't convey my appreciation. Clothes are easy because you can just put them on as soon as you open it. Actually the worse it doesn't match what you're wearing the better. Examples include a winter coat I got while wearing a bathing suit. It conveys a whole 'couldn't wait to put this on' thing. But again, kills the moment, often sounds forced.

You can't really do that with stuff though. Usually for me this results in some lame, hours or days later re-emphasis. As in:
"Hey, thanks again for that thing. That was pretty awesome. I (insert story of how I used thing and it was awesome(story I've probably embellished or just completely made up.) and it couldn't have worked out better." But again, kills the moment, often sounds forced.

T-6005
02-06-2010, 11:21 PM
The trick is holding the gift longer than necessary once you open it. Then it seems like you want it near you because you like it.

bighead384
02-06-2010, 11:41 PM
Like I said, I do that. That's all I really got. It doesn't cut it though. I could literally be given something that I absolutely wanted more than anything in the world and just saying:

"Hey, thanks for the kidney. I'll use this thing everyday!"


Ah my bad, didn't see that. I'm real messed up right now. My opinion is that you may be overthinking this. Showing appreciation is easier to do for people with certain personalities, but as long as you make an effort to be appreciative, you won't be singled out for it.

WebDudette
02-07-2010, 02:31 AM
I told a friend of mine that my mom gets me an ornament every Christmas, but she may not get me one this year, because she moved out of the state. My friend made me an ornament, it was one of the sweetest gestures ever, I loved it, but I'm the exact same way. So when I first opened it I was like 'wow, this is awesome, thank you so much'. But later I explained to her that I am really bad about that and don't know how to react, but I really appreciated it and think it was a really sweet gesture and everything.

She is my best friend, so I was capable of explaining it to her and everything. I don't think I'd do that with everyone, so I'm just like 'thanks, I really appreciate this' or whatever. I used to totally freak (like those videos with the kids who get video game systems) when I was a kid and my sister or someone would get me something really expensive, because I didn't know how else to show I liked it. So I did what I thought they expected from me.

Honestly, I think the best way to go about it is to just explain it if you're close enough to them. Are you worried people might think you're faking too?

Llamas
02-07-2010, 03:55 AM
The trick is holding the gift longer than necessary once you open it. Then it seems like you want it near you because you like it.

This, plus also, if it's a packaged item, open it up... look at it a lot.

I was never good at pretending to be grateful for gifts, either. I'm not a good liar, and I just fail at being anything other than myself. Being really enthusiastically thankful for something is not part of my persona. I've never done anything about it... just hoped people knew.

Where I live now, people only seem to exchange gifts on xmas... and then, no names are written on the gifts, and nobody says who anything is from. You open the present, look at it, and set it down. Nobody says thank you, nobody reacts. On one hand, it's nice not to have to force a reaction, but on the other hand, it's so weird to watch someone open something you gave them and have them not react at all. Heh.

wheelchairman
02-07-2010, 05:02 AM
I was never good at pretending to be grateful for gifts, either.

It's because someone spent time and/or money on trying to find a gift to make you happy, so really the second least a person can to is appear to be grateful. Or even if its a gift I don't like I can be genuinely grateful, some people suck at shopping for gifts, but they mean well.

And some of you guys sound as awkward as Frasier Crane.

WebDudette
02-07-2010, 05:09 AM
With friends and acquaintances I'm typically fine, not really awkward at all, a little nerdy sometimes I suppose, but nothing bad.

With close friends though, I can be so intensely awkward sometimes.

Llamas
02-07-2010, 05:12 AM
It's because someone spent time and/or money on trying to find a gift to make you happy, so really the second least a person can to is appear to be grateful. Or even if its a gift I don't like I can be genuinely grateful, some people suck at shopping for gifts, but they mean well.

And some of you guys sound as awkward as Frasier Crane.

You're missing the point here... most of us are saying we somehow have a hard time showing it even when it's an awesome gift that we're really happy about. I can always tell the difference between a thoughtful gift and a generic meaningless gift. But with these expecting looks and eyes on you, I tend to clam up and over-think the situation. I'm not really an enthusiastic person in general, and I have good manners - always using please and thank you and all that - but the whole situation of gift exchanges always makes me feel weird and I never know how to react beyond "Oh thanks, it's great!" While other people seem to know how to really play it up.

Edit: I'm so much worse with close friends, which is weird. Gifts from my best friends are the most meaningful and awesome and everything. And then what happens is I think I have to show TONS of gratitude (which is genuine, not fake), but I over-think it and end up not knowing how to show how grateful I am.

AD90
02-07-2010, 05:28 AM
I can show true emotion when I really want the gift, I show pretend emotion, which comes off half-arsed otherwise.

wheelchairman
02-07-2010, 05:45 AM
You're missing the point here... most of us are saying we somehow have a hard time showing it even when it's an awesome gift that we're really happy about. I can always tell the difference between a thoughtful gift and a generic meaningless gift. But with these expecting looks and eyes on you, I tend to clam up and over-think the situation. I'm not really an enthusiastic person in general, and I have good manners - always using please and thank you and all that - but the whole situation of gift exchanges always makes me feel weird and I never know how to react beyond "Oh thanks, it's great!" While other people seem to know how to really play it up.

Edit: I'm so much worse with close friends, which is weird. Gifts from my best friends are the most meaningful and awesome and everything. And then what happens is I think I have to show TONS of gratitude (which is genuine, not fake), but I over-think it and end up not knowing how to show how grateful I am.

Completely, I had misread the sentence actually. I guess I just expected you to write 'I never understood pretending to be grateful for gifts'. Not about feelings that normal people have. :p

On the other hand, people are gonna read your reaction in context with how you normally react to things. If you're a subdued person, then a slightly less subdued reaction would probably be enough for most people to realize you appreciate it. The awkwardness seems to come from over-analyzing the situation and not being able to gage what you think would be an appropriate reaction.

Ironic that the only ones likely perceiving the awkwardness is the gift-receiver. It's kind of like when you expect to get a gift, but you get a foot inside. Time for some sunglasses smiley. :cool::cool:
p.s. I got a gift last night, The Alphabet of Manliness, I was grateful like a champ. I am also however, very easy to please. Just ask your Mom.

Oooooh. One more sunglasses smiley. :cool:

Llamas
02-07-2010, 06:22 AM
Completely, I had misread the sentence actually. I guess I just expected you to write 'I never understood pretending to be grateful for gifts'. Not about feelings that normal people have.
hahaha, well actually people here ask that! I told them how gift exchanges are in the US, and how weird it is that nobody here thanks anyone at ALL... and they're like "well that's weird. We don't feel we need to compensate for the fact that someone got us a gift. It's really rude to pretend you like something that you don't." I tried to explain that it's not compensation... and that it's not about pretending you like something you don't, but that it's about appreciating the gesture... they really don't get it here!


On the other hand, people are gonna read your reaction in context with how you normally react to things. If you're a subdued person, then a slightly less subdued reaction would probably be enough for most people to realize you appreciate it. The awkwardness seems to come from over-analyzing the situation and not being able to gage what you think would be an appropriate reaction.
Exactly true. As I said, I act like myself and just hope people know that I'm grateful. One year, my bff gave me an awesome gift, and I barely reacted. A day later, I felt bad and sent her an email apologizing and trying to explain, and she said "Don't worry, I know your nature, and I knew 100% how much you loved it." :) And yep, it's the over-analysis that ends up making it extra awkward. High expectations and whatnot.


Ironic that the only ones likely perceiving the awkwardness is the gift-receiver. It's kind of like when you expect to get a gift, but you get a foot inside.
OMG u n richard FUX U!!!! :mad::mad:


p.s. I got a gift last night, The Alphabet of Manliness, I was grateful like a champ. I am also however, very easy to please. Just ask your Mom.

wtf is that shit? Silly, little personal gifts are sometimes the best ones. It's often not about money or necessity. Though sometimes it is. :D

WebDudette
02-07-2010, 06:28 AM
Little personal gifts are the best. When asked, I never tell people what to get me. If you don't know me well enough to pick something up you truly feel I would like, don't bother. Not in a bad way. I just feel like, if we're not close enough for you to know, you shouldn't feel obligated to get me something.

wheelchairman
02-07-2010, 06:34 AM
I guess that's straight and to the point Pilz-e, however it just doesn't seem like something that works out in real life. Unless you spend most of your time talking about stuff you want. There's no harm in helping people, and I often find it useful to get a general idea of what the person wants. It makes sure you get them a gift they'll like, and that you didn't waste any money.

Somehow descriptions of celebrations in Eastern Europe always sound really boring. What's the dealio? Everyone stares apathetically at someone getting a gift? Goddamn that sounds boring. Fuck all y'all I'm gonna go play some cheerful-ball!

p.s. The Alphabet of Manliness is the book Maddox wrote.

Llamas
02-07-2010, 06:34 AM
Little personal gifts are the best. When asked, I never tell people what to get me. If you don't know me well enough to pick something up you truly feel I would like, don't bother. Not in a bad way. I just feel like, if we're not close enough for you to know, you shouldn't feel obligated to get me something.

Totally agree. Sure, I'll use another bottle of lotion or some more perfume... maybe some chocolates would be tasty... but if the best you can do is a generic gift you'd give to anyone, don't bother. It's not fun to buy gifts like that, it's not fun to give them, and it's not fun to receive them.

Llamas
02-07-2010, 06:38 AM
Somehow descriptions of celebrations in Eastern Europe always sound really boring. What's the dealio? Everyone stares apathetically at someone getting a gift? Goddamn that sounds boring. Fuck all y'all I'm gonna go play some cheerful-ball!
Seriously. I felt like the entire gift exchange was really depressing. My friend's dad opened my gift, looked at it, and made a really bad joke (it was a bottle of Ballentine's because I knew they'd never had whiskey before, and he said "Ballantine's... when you drink it, you are without balance.") and then set it down and waited for the next gift. My friend got something he REALLY wanted... when he opened it, he kind of gasped, smiled for a brief moment... and that was it. No thanks, no gratitude. So then finally, I opened a gift. I immediately asked who it was from, and they said "Jezisek" (baby Jesus). I said, "Haha, very funny. Seriously, who is it from?" And they just looked away and didn't answer. I was just like :-/ This is so boring and depressing...


p.s. The Alphabet of Manliness is the book Maddox wrote.
Oh shit, I want it. Have you read it yet??

wheelchairman
02-07-2010, 06:39 AM
I'd have to disagree. Cologne for example is a pain in the ass to buy, you have to smell them all which is annoying, they cost more money than you'd like to pay, and you'll run out sooner than you think.

As a gift, it cuts out the entire process of choosing and buying and there is still some effort put into it. The giver is at least thinking a little bit 'this smell will suit that person I think'. Sometimes generic gifts can easily be the best.

p.s. I read the first chapter and it was pretty good.

WebDudette
02-07-2010, 06:44 AM
I think the fact that I really have no idea what I want adds to what I said earlier. I appreciate all gifts, even the generic ones, but little personal ones can literally make my week. Hell, a hand drawn card will make me smile from ear to ear.

PedroACastro
02-07-2010, 02:42 PM
i don't find it that hard to pretend i liked a gift but i'm usually happy just by receiving something from a friend or relative so what the gift is really doesn't matter. oh and if its a really shitty gift there's always the receipt to trade it for something else so no big deal

Free?
02-08-2010, 09:59 AM
http://img515.imageshack.us/img515/8968/paperbag1.jpg

Paint_It_Black
02-13-2010, 01:57 AM
Some of my siblings can open something they absolutely hate and light up with faked enthusiasm. They'll get loud and animated and celebrate and smile ear to ear. I can't fake it like that.

Watch and learn. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMWTs0YT928)