PDA

View Full Version : Stoned college paper



Mota Boy
01-30-2005, 12:12 AM
I am amused. (http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/image/essay/1)

ThatOneGuy123
01-30-2005, 12:16 AM
hahahahahahahahaha "fuck that shit thats gay"

summer guy
01-30-2005, 12:16 AM
I like testicles.

Sunny
01-30-2005, 12:32 AM
i am too. hah.

summer guy
01-30-2005, 12:48 AM
I want thiis shiirt.

http://store2.yimg.com/I/pornstarclothing_1794_1669863

Endymion
01-30-2005, 12:54 AM
i once turned in a resume that included a picture of peewee herman.

summer guy
01-30-2005, 12:56 AM
peee weeee hurmen iss myy dreemboats.

Betty
01-30-2005, 12:23 PM
I love how the final mark was 61%... very accurate.

Noodles is gay
01-30-2005, 12:27 PM
Holy shit that's fucking funny! :cool:

I had to do a fucking paper on Oedipus once - i should have done that! 61% :eek:

JoY
01-30-2005, 12:27 PM
"This is a real University Essay titled, "Planes, Trains, and Plantains: The story of Oedipus" submitted November 30, 2004. View all 7 pages."

maybe I'm just an oddball, but that already made me laugh out loud.

this is bad. this is bad bad bad. *giggles*

wheelchairman
01-30-2005, 01:20 PM
Hmm, I do most of my papers sober, but I am a twisted human being so they end up a little weird.

In Danish essays I have gone on the entire description of the production of Tequila, to conclude that Tequila is a very sour drink, simply because two Native Americans drink cactus juice in the story.

One time we had to write about a normal day in our school, so I wrote about how people who don't follow the phone list when class is cancelled, deserve to die for stealing my sleep. It came out more like "those assholes, they should die" (de rÝvhuller, de skal dÝ)

In English I get bored of writing about the same bland subjects, so once we had to write about the advantages for management about letting your employees work at home, so I made the point of my essay that the manager's wife would now no longer fear that he was boinking his secretary. And that it would also let the employees continue meaningful lives outside of work, with activities like quilting, cat-collecting, and building the largest lego city ever.

Spanish essays are generally messed up, we're supposed to write picture-descriptions. This is boring, so I once wrote about how I was the dictator of this town and how I must fight crime, (I dubbed myself 'El lŪder querido'). In another one, I wrote about how the pizzaria was the meeting place of the local fascist cell, and how the fascists scared the other customers. And I described them as fascistisimos, which apparently isn't a word.

TheUnholyNightbringer
01-30-2005, 01:49 PM
In English I get bored of writing about the same bland subjects, so once we had to write about the advantages for management about letting your employees work at home, so I made the point of my essay that the manager's wife would now no longer fear that he was boinking his secretary. And that it would also let the employees continue meaningful lives outside of work, with activities like quilting, cat-collecting, and building the largest lego city ever.

Seriously, that is the funniest thing I've heard in a long time.

SkunkIt
01-30-2005, 01:54 PM
That was funny! :D Look at this AIM conversation I found!

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/aol.php

Noodles is gay
01-30-2005, 02:00 PM
That was funny! :D Look at this AIM conversation I found!

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/aol.php

damn i haven't laughed that hard for a time! :D

Mota Boy
01-30-2005, 04:25 PM
One of my friends writes all his papers stoned, but they're just good papers, not the kind that you'd comb through to laugh at 'em. I write my papers sober (or sometimes with a little drink in me), but if I'm writing late into the night I can get creative. When my cousin was in high school, she and her friends had a game where they'd write titles on a piece of paper and then draw them out of a hat, and whichever title you used you had to turn in on your next paper. So all semester she'd turn in a paper on Shakespeare or Fitzgerald with a title like "The Secret History of the Peanut Butter Sandwich: from Babylon to Brooklyn" or "The Spiders are Laughing at Me"

Linda
01-30-2005, 04:30 PM
That was funny! :D Look at this AIM conversation I found!

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/aol.php

I thought that was one ugly girl! :D

Kathy
01-30-2005, 04:48 PM
I thought that was one ugly girl! :D

Yeah, me too, (She, he or it looks so ugly)

dirtybird
01-30-2005, 11:08 PM
the guy in that convo must have had 10 beers in his stomach plus a boner to think that that thing was hot and sexy...

and i think that essay is the kind im gonna be writing when im in college if i ever make it.

Little_Miss_1565
01-31-2005, 04:23 AM
L'sigh. You got my hopes up when it said it was an actual college essay...but I doubt it was. "page to big"? Writing a blatant grammatical error like that on a student paper would be grounds for losing one's tenure, wouldn't it?

Endymion
01-31-2005, 11:27 AM
Writing a blatant grammatical error like that on a student paper would be grounds for losing one's tenure, wouldn't it?
not in america, honey.

Betty
01-31-2005, 07:40 PM
I totally have a quote for that...

From CONSCIOUSNESS EXPLAINED, by Daniel Dennett, p. 177

"The juvenile sea squirt wanders through the sea searching
for a suitable rock or hunk of coral to cling to and make
its home for life. For this task, it has a rudimentary
nervous system. When it finds its spot and takes root, it
doesn't need its brain anymore so it eats it! (It's rather
like getting tenure.)"

I also have a big nerd story about where I got it from, maybe Endy will like it. We were using a computer program called Gaussview to calculate molecular orbital parameters and whatnot and after it spit out all of its gibberish, the program always gave a quote at the end of the text file. That was my favourite.

Endymion
01-31-2005, 09:03 PM
at this community college near me there was a prof who just told the students to read silently from their text while she sat at her desk and talked to people on the phone or played games on her computer. she came up for review, was found to be doing this stuff, and was fired. she sued. she got her job back and half a million from the school.

ThatOneGuy123
01-31-2005, 11:10 PM
That was funny! :D Look at this AIM conversation I found!

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/aol.php



hahahahaha i knew she was a dude when it came up its easy to see