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sKratch
01-30-2005, 01:19 AM
I got dumped. Two weeks short of 15 months. Gone. There goes everything I had envisioned for the future.
<3 life
Currently semi-buzzed/really tired, sorry

the_GoDdEsS
01-30-2005, 01:27 AM
Fuuuuck. Vent both anger and sadness. Write, talk, scream, drink, break things, whichever you prefer.
It'll get better.

*grabs and huggles*

Izie
01-30-2005, 01:29 AM
*huggles* indeed

Hope you're not feeling TOO bad :/

Nina
01-30-2005, 01:31 AM
WHAT!!?

email.

Obie2trice
01-30-2005, 02:26 AM
Too bad skratch..

RXP
01-30-2005, 03:30 AM
Fuck dude, why? Just as I get one you get dumped, the way of the universe keeping balance?

Distance prolly right?

wliethof
01-30-2005, 03:40 AM
ahh crappy.

Tizzalicious
01-30-2005, 03:41 AM
Ah I'm sorry to gere that :( *hugs*

Idiot
01-30-2005, 04:12 AM
That's pretty bad, hope you get through it.

The Talking Pie
01-30-2005, 04:21 AM
Shit... that's fucked up... *[manly] hug*

wheelchairman
01-30-2005, 04:48 AM
fuck I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. That's also the end of the jokes, the end of an era. Feel better soon man.

JoY
01-30-2005, 04:53 AM
ffuck. that really sucks assholically terribly.
*hugs you*

sKratch
01-30-2005, 09:51 AM
Thanks everyone, really. I'm so fucking confused about everything right now and I feel so empty. In a lot of ways it hasn't hit me yet. I mean, why should it kick in quickly if we talked about getting married and spending the rest of our lives together? This was like the one thing I thought I'd always have--something I could always depend on to have in the future. So as you can imagine, everything's a little surreal right now. It kind of sucks when the girl you know you love, and want to be with forever, told you she felt the same way, and could look in your eyes and say she loves you more than anything tells you that she thinks she's been throwing the word "love" around too much and she's not sure if she means it any more. She doesn't know when things got like this. But it's worth throwing a year, 2 months and a half away apparently, because she has to figure herself out. I'm sorry I'm talking about all this, but this really, really fucking sucks. I love her with all my heart and I know that I'll never be complete without her. Now I have to live off hope, and I've been there before. It's really no good. Congratulations if you read this whole post, because it's kind of long, and it's really not of any inherent interest to any of you. I'm sorry for writing all this, but I really need to. Again, thanks to everyone who's replied.

wliethof
01-30-2005, 09:59 AM
Go on with things you do regularly, and don't give up. be patient and things will get better.

the_GoDdEsS
01-30-2005, 10:04 AM
I don't believe that it's not of any interest to us. Quite the opposite. I'm 100% sure everyone who's replied before at least will read it and give you some more supporting words. We stick together man, you know? We do. And we're not here during the happy-go-lucky times only. We're here almost every day and care about what some of our fellow BBSers and friends like you go through. *hugs*

I know it's especially bad when you plan your future with the person you love. It happened to one of my very good friends when his g/f who's actually my best friend left him. I tried to be there for him every day to talk to or just to be there so he's not alone and overanalyzing. It's good when you find someone to be there. If you feel the need to talk about it, pick at least one friend. If not, don't isolate yourself from people either. Apathy might hit you sooner or later but that doesn't mean that you don't have a life to live. It's hard to understand, it's hard to go through but you'll eventually go through all the phases that break-ups bring with themselves. And then you'll feel better again. It takes time. A lot of time but you'll be there.
Women tend to say that a lot that they need to figure themselves out. It fucks most of my male friends up. Seriously annoying. I'm not trying to take your hope away from you because I don't know all the circumstances. You might still have it since it's all so fresh and blurry. But don't live with hope for way too long because how Nietzsche says it prolongs the suffering of humanity.
I wish you a lot of strength and courage and I really hope you're better off real soon.

Sim

RXP
01-30-2005, 10:06 AM
Awwww mate.

I don't know what to say, I kinda feel upset cause even though I don't know you ,seing her pics I can imagine what a cutie she is and you were pretty funny on the BBS about her.

You might now feel like you'll never be complete without her but you know, at least your logical brain knows that's not true. It's just a matter of your body having to catch up. C'mon I don't mean to belittle your love but you KNOW you can go on.

To relate it to a situation of mine. There's this girl I have/had this increadibly close friendship with. We literally talk at least 2 hours a day for the past year but she's a total bitch to me sometimes. She just refuses to make time for me. I thought she was the kind of friend who'd be there forever. When things were good (well over the phone) it was amazing. But then I've had enough and kinda 'broken' up with her. I know it ain't a relationship but it's the same difference. I have bad dreams about her at night, think about her all the time and think why? But you know what? You'll find someone else we all do :-)

Cheer up, go out with your mates and start enjoying being single again and grinding the bitches in clubs and pulling.

sKratch
01-30-2005, 10:30 AM
Sim-
Luckily, I have a lot of friends here, and my roomate is like my best friend from back at home. Maybe I'll feel better over time, but I'll never quite feel good. You can learn to live with losing your arm, but who'll expect you to live like you still have it?
It's so close behind me that I feel like I can almost touch it. Has anything ever happened and while it's still not too far away in time, it feels like it should be so easy to just go back and fix things? That's where I am right now.
Honestly, thank you for your words.

RXP-
If you ask me she's fucking beautiful. She's not one of those popular, overly made-up slutty looking girls. She's simple, and just wonderful looking to me. I always thought about how incredibely lucky I was to have her. It was like a fairy tale, or some lame movie. No one ever finds the girl of their dreams like I did, but I had it. Honestly, I have no interest in picking up girls or anything like that. I truly love her and I don't want anyone else.

Linda
01-30-2005, 10:43 AM
sKratch, I could be really mean to you in this topic after the way you've treated me, but I won't since I'm not that kind of person. I know from reading the BBS what she meant to you and I am truly sorry things didn't work out for you. What can anyone say really? Time heals all wounds. Maybe this just wasn't the one meant for you. Life is funny, really, we have to go thru so much joy and pain to get to where we're supposed to be. Just hang in there, things will look a little better to you as each day passes.

the_GoDdEsS
01-30-2005, 10:46 AM
Sim-
Luckily, I have a lot of friends here, and my roomate is like my best friend from back at home. Maybe I'll feel better over time, but I'll never quite feel good. You can learn to live with losing your arm, but who'll expect you to live like you still have it?
It's so close behind me that I feel like I can almost touch it. Has anything ever happened and while it's still not too far away in time, it feels like it should be so easy to just go back and fix things? That's where I am right now.
Honestly, thank you for your words.



You're welcome. Wish I could do more to help.
I'm real glad to hear that you have enough good friends. At least you have a net to always catch you and that's important!
I think in almost each person's life there is a love that we have to bury alive. And that's painful. But such is life and we have to deal. And you're great enough to make it through.

Aimeht
01-30-2005, 10:51 AM
Know the feeling... To hell with it.

nieh
01-30-2005, 11:00 AM
blah...breakups suck. Sorry. Especially the "I have to figure things out" kind of breakups. It tends to be a bit harder to figure those out cause you're never really given a reason why it stopped. I know it's cliche, but you'll find someone else.

At least you still have her:
http://www.skratch-zero.com/college/ilovedisc.jpg

TheUnholyNightbringer
01-30-2005, 11:06 AM
I don't really know what to say. I suck at this kind of thing.

All I can say is, hang in there. And be with friends - they want to help you, and that's what they're there for.

*Unholy Hug*

the_GoDdEsS
01-30-2005, 11:15 AM
Maybe it sounds silly because I always say this: I lurve that picture! =)

Pinocchio
01-30-2005, 11:17 AM
if it doesn`t kill you it`ll make you stronger.
just remember there`s no use wallowing in self-pity ..and..
this world is filled with awesome ladies.
and odds for building a life-lasting relationship this young are nearly zero.
so... head up bror.

sun will arise tomorrow too.

wheelchairman
01-30-2005, 11:39 AM
I know how you're feeling sKratch, try not to dwell on it, and try not to think too much about what you lost. Because there is so much to gain. But dwelling on what you lost is what will bring you way too far down. Don't wait for her either, you know the kind of situation you're in, the kind where you only have one hope, you don't want that. You want her now, but you know as time passes and wounds close, you'll distance yourself more and more from your time with her, while spending more time with new people, and that does make all the difference. Now, take time to mourn, cause that's what you need, no? Keep your friends around you, and don't do anything I wouldn't do. ;)

JoY
01-30-2005, 11:53 AM
I did read that whole post of yours. & the next one & the next one. I could say I know the feeling & being understood could support you a little, but it doesn't actually help the situation. I could also say you're an attractive guy & that there are plenty of other fish in the sea, but at this moment that'd only offend you, because it's obvious you want *her* & no other fish.

you've got to know & realise that the time you've been together, you were still you & not just a part of her. she has never been a part of you, either. just a part of your life, a major part so it seems. but there are other things that your life consists of. not just a sparkle of hope, but nothing wrong with hope, keep holding on to that. right now it may seem like you've lost an arm, but in the end you'll see you maybe didn't lose anything. a girl can bring out the best in you, but know & realise you already had it in you all the time. she didn't put it there.
I don't know what else to say. I'm guessing everything has been said.

the first stage of being in love can chemically last about a 2.5 years.
the second stage of actually loving each other can last a life time.
you're really young. as I keep telling myself... what chances are there, that you meet someone now, that you spend the rest of your life with? my boyfriend & I are heading towards a year now - slowly but surely - but this is always on my mind. I don't expect him to put up with me forever. I don't expect, that he'll always want me. young people are all in a fase of discovering themselves & one day it might be possible, that one discovers that the other isn't right for him/her. yes, this scares me, but I wouldn't want him to stay with me, if he finds out, that I'm not the right girl for him to be with.

I don't know if this helped. probably not at all, or two millimeters of a thousand kilometers of pain. but if you ever need to ramble in my direction.. that'd be more than fine.

Betty
01-30-2005, 11:56 AM
This seriously makes me a little teary-eyed.

I really don't want to say the wrong thing because a lot of the time whatever advice people give just doesn't make it feel any better.

So what I want to say is that wherever your futures lead, you will always have some love for her in your heart, and this will not make you less complete, but more complete because of the good experiences you have had together. Your time together was NOT a waste, it was an amazing part of your life that you can always cherish.

JoY
01-30-2005, 12:01 PM
I fully agree with Betty.

Vera
01-30-2005, 12:02 PM
I'm not going to wax poetic about the workings of human relationships simply because I mostly don't understand shit and don't have it worked out to a point where it's science. But anyway, take care and try to feel better. Of course, it'll be rough, but you can and will get over it.

Inshane
01-30-2005, 12:10 PM
Im not good at giving advice. Im better in taking it.
I do hope you'll feel better and that the pain will fade,
how unreal that may sound right now.

sKratch
01-30-2005, 02:31 PM
If I was a little more emo I would hate you for posting that picture because
A) It's in her dorm on her bed
B) I'm holding a NawShus disc (the Ithaca frisbee team that she plays for)
Don't think it really upset me though.

Linda, like I said, I don't have an overbearing hatred of you or anything like that... Just like anyone else, sometimes things you say seem down right silly to me, and then I speak up. I appreciate that there's no bitterness, however, and thank you for your words.

Wow wtf, I wrote this like 4 hours ago but forgot to press submit reply; sorry.

ThatOneGuy123
01-30-2005, 02:35 PM
damn....poor you dude go get a beer smoke a joint or get a new gf -guy hug-

sKratch
01-30-2005, 03:01 PM
Sorry, I had to catch up on the last page. I've read everything you all said now, though. A lot of you are saying to look forward to new things, and that makes sense, but honestly--without sounding like a 13 year old getting shot down after he asks for a second date--I only look forward to her. I am young, yes, and the chances of finding that special person are slim to none. But I say with great sincerity, from the depths of my heart, that this is the girl. It's her. If for some reason, I take a different path then don't hesitate to call me out. But from where I stand right now, I am truly only interested in having her back.

Bella- Even if it was but 2 millimeters, isn't that pretty impressive from across an ocean? Honestly, I can't gauge how much anything anyone says helps me, but don't cut yourself short. Or anyone else for that matter.

And Betty, it would be nice to be able to have that mind set. Maybe I'll be able to eventually, but right now I'm not capable. When I think back to all the beautiful things, it only breaks my heart. I don't think it was much more than 3 weeks ago that I got to her house and she had a trail of roses leading to her bathroom where she was taking a bath. It's things like that that yes, I cherish, but their loss is far more present at the moment. Sorry if I sound like I'm naysaying your advice--I'm really not. Unfortunately, I just can't look at things like that right now.

Rag Doll
01-30-2005, 03:37 PM
i know how you feel. exactly.

feel better....and it'll get easier eventually. trust me. ::hugs::

Betty
01-30-2005, 03:38 PM
Nah, it's totally understandable that you feel the way you do. I'm just hoping that if you try and look at things in another light, eventually you'll be able to see things more positively. But that will obviously take time.

I dated my "highschool sweetheart" for nearly 2 years and we were definitely going to get married, it was all planned out. And people always told me to "play the field" etc, etc. As if they didn't think we should be together. And that made me mad, because people always say that you'll never end up with your first love, as if you're stupid and naively in love. So, although I have moved on since we broke up and found another amazing, yet different, guy, I've always told myself that I would never say that about people's first love.

You know what? She just might be the right girl for you, and if she is, then she will realize that. But if she doesn't feel the same way, then she just isn't that girl. And maybe she just does need some time to figure things out or whatever. I'm not quite sure about the details or what is running through her mind. Anyway, there is still some optimism in it all.

sKratch
01-30-2005, 03:46 PM
I'm sorry about you and your first love Betty. I'm glad you got past it though. I know we never really talked, so I really appreciate how far you're going into this.

Man you all suck. I just got advice that no one here gave me yet: Write a letter. I think it's a great idea and I'm working on it now.

But really, and I know I keep saying this, thanks for all the replies. I'm usually a cynical and sarcasting piece of shit, but I'm pretty emo right now and I appreciate it all.

DG- sorry you ever had to go through this.

the_GoDdEsS
01-30-2005, 03:49 PM
Dude, good idea. Letters rule indeed. Even if you never send them. I wrote zillions and never sent one.

Betty
01-30-2005, 03:52 PM
That IS good advice. Letters are a really good way to get out what you're feeling without the risk of interruptions, crying, yelling, or just not being able to formulate your thoughts into words quickly.

Are you doing e-mail or handwritten letter? I think the latter would be more personal.

Good luck!

Rag Doll
01-30-2005, 03:52 PM
eh. it does suck a lot...and it hurts so terribly terribly bad...but it'll be okies.

and letter writing sounds like a great idea. good luck. <3

Mota Boy
01-30-2005, 04:04 PM
But it's worth throwing a year, 2 months and a half away apparently, because she has to figure herself out.
It's been said, but you're completely wrong to think of it that way. It's one of the formative experiences of your life, and a wonderful time that's given you some amazing memories. It's too soon, and you seem too wrapped up in her to be receptive to any type of response other than vague reassurances and expressions of solidarity. Still, here's the best advice I can give - don't think that this is the end of anything more than this one relationship. She's not the only one for you, she's not your single soulmate or your destiny. She was a wonderful person and gave you a great relationship, but it doesn't mean that she's the only one that can make you feel the way you did when you were with her.

One of my friends had a romantic notion of destiny, and thought that she had found it in another friend of mine... and after they broke up, she couldn't shake that notion. For months, the only thing she could ever think about was how to get Gary back, and it fucking destroyed her. Another friend went through the same thing for a while, but is now with someone that she loves just as much if not more (given that love's difficult to quantify and all). I don't believe that there is one single person out there that can make you happy - there are a great many people who can make you various degrees of happy. You happened to find one of the good ones. If it doesn't work out, ultimately be content that you had it for that period of time, because you may not have it in your life constantly, but you are able to have it in your life again, and one of the key steps to getting it back is to not spend the rest of your days beating yourself up because you can't get back to what you had.

Best of luck.

Linda
01-30-2005, 04:06 PM
Just like anyone else, sometimes things you say seem down right silly to me, and then I speak up. I appreciate that there's no bitterness, however, and thank you for your words.



And vice versa. Sometimes I mean my posts to be silly. Sometimes I just know what I'm saying is right, even tho I can't always word things right to make myself understood. No matter, most all is in fun anyway.
and you welcome, I meant what I said. I also know how it feels.

sKratch
01-30-2005, 04:38 PM
The letter is hand written. It's definitely a plus, because like you've said, there are no interruptions.

Mota - Maybe I'll look at it that way one day, and you can fuck me in the ass if I do. Right now, I really would endure anything to have her back. I hope it doesn't destroy me. Like I told my friend/roomate, it's not about giving up. I love her, and that's that. Anyways, back to my letter... finishing page two.