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View Full Version : i need advice ladies!!!!!



bouncingcoles
01-31-2005, 07:11 PM
hey, i think my girlfriend is afraid to have sex!!!! she is still a virgin!!! im still a virgin too! but anyway, ya i think she is just really nervous about it. i havent actually talked to her about it, but she kinda gave me a hint. we have been going out for about 3 months. should i wait a bit longer? what should i do???!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP ME OUT LADIES!!!!!

Linda
01-31-2005, 07:15 PM
You should wait until you're at least 25.

TheUnholyNightbringer
01-31-2005, 07:19 PM
Oh my God, talk to her about it. You'd rather talk to a bunch of strangers than talk to your girlfriend? Come on man, this is important, don't discuss it with us, go discuss it with her!

nieh
01-31-2005, 07:22 PM
You should wait until you're at least 25.

that's scary....that's exactly what my mom said...except she added "even if you get married before then" afterwards. I was only 9 years off...

Answer: If you or her are as worried about it as you are, then you shouldn't do it. If you haven't talked about it, you shouldn't do it. You can't say "3 months is/isn't long enough" because it depends on the people in the relationship. Plus I'm betting you're young, so you should put it off for a while (I could go into my whole idealogical thing, but it's too unrealistic to spout it off to random people)

Rag Doll
01-31-2005, 07:22 PM
If you can only give "hints" and not actually discuss it, you shouldn't be doing it.

JohnnyNemesis
01-31-2005, 07:25 PM
If you're both virgins, then three months is way way too soon in my opinion. When I lost my virginity, I was with my girlfriend for a year at the time. Now I don't wait at all, but the first time is special...

Anyway, the truth is, what I or anyone else says doesn't matter. TUNB is right...talk to your girlfriend! And be sensitive about it.

ReDeAdOf89
01-31-2005, 07:25 PM
Oh my God, talk to her about it. You'd rather talk to a bunch of strangers than talk to your girlfriend? Come on man, this is important, don't discuss it with us, go discuss it with her!

He is right dude, you need to talk to her about it.

TheUnholyNightbringer
01-31-2005, 07:27 PM
And be sensitive about it.

Oh yes, that's another thing. Don't say "Oi love, I fancy a shag. And you're fairly convenient, and you're not getting any younger, you know."

Camilamazed
01-31-2005, 07:35 PM
I just think you have to wait when it is the right moment.Force her to do something won't work.

Linda
01-31-2005, 07:46 PM
He's only 16 y/o, for god's sake. Too young to be having sex anyway.

To bouncingcoles - Do you have a good paying job to take care of a baby if you get her pregnant? You do know condoms don't always work, same for birth control that a female uses. Before you have sex with anyone, you should ask yourself if you're ready to be a daddy.

Ken Jennings
01-31-2005, 07:46 PM
hey, i think my girlfriend is afraid to have sex!!!! she is still a virgin!!! im still a virgin too! but anyway, ya i think she is just really nervous about it. i havent actually talked to her about it, but she kinda gave me a hint. we have been going out for about 3 months. should i wait a bit longer? what should i do???!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP ME OUT LADIES!!!!!

You go up to her, and you say, "Hey bitch, give me a blow job, it's not like anyone else wants you."

ReDeAdOf89
01-31-2005, 07:58 PM
C'mon if he says that then he might as well say good bye to her because she would probably leave. No chick wants to be forced to do anything.

JohnnyNemesis
01-31-2005, 07:59 PM
I'm pretty sure Mister Jennings was joking.

Ken Jennings
01-31-2005, 08:09 PM
C'mon if he says that then he might as well say good bye to her because she would probably leave. No chick wants to be forced to do anything.

Then he should say, "Hey bitch, come here and blow me."

latinospunkunidos
01-31-2005, 09:35 PM
Errrr... How about no?
That was one lame joke

Ok, I think you should talk to her, be gentle, if you see she is not confortable with the situation, then leave it for some other time, and youŽll know she is not ready.

Sunny
01-31-2005, 10:04 PM
if you two aren't close enough to actually discuss sex, you shouldn't even consider actually doing it.

-shrug-

talk to her, fer chrissakes.

meaning_of_life
01-31-2005, 11:21 PM
what sunny said. 3 months? both virgins? dont get your hopes up, she might not even be thinking of sex, it might just be you.

RXP
02-01-2005, 12:36 AM
hey, i think my girlfriend is afraid to have sex!!!! she is still a virgin!!! im still a virgin too! but anyway, ya i think she is just really nervous about it. i havent actually talked to her about it, but she kinda gave me a hint. we have been going out for about 3 months. should i wait a bit longer? what should i do???!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP ME OUT LADIES!!!!!

Women are stupid cunts about their virgnity. They should just lay back and take it. They blow it up into this huge thing like idoits. WTF is wrong with 'em. To quote WCM "it's the jeudo-christian belief that virginity is pure". It's fucking stupid.

Nicole
02-01-2005, 01:14 AM
You need to make her feel comfortable with the situation and show that you have her best intentions in mind. She's probably nervous because she knows its on the cards and doesn't quite know how to deal with it but don't push the issue and let her know that she's cared for.

livingdeadgirl
02-01-2005, 07:55 AM
wait a bit. im almost 15. i lost my virginity wen i about 13 poss younger, and i regret it to this day.

Talman
02-01-2005, 08:16 AM
Just speak to her about it. i think i waited 6 months with my current gf before we had sex. It was a hell of a lot easier knowing that both of us wanted it, rather than trying to guess.
________
Alaska Medical Marijuana (http://alaska.dispensaries.org/)

Sunny
02-02-2005, 08:57 AM
Women are stupid cunts about their virgnity. They should just lay back and take it. They blow it up into this huge thing like idoits. WTF is wrong with 'em. To quote WCM "it's the jeudo-christian belief that virginity is pure". It's fucking stupid.

they might be, but right now you're being a stupid cunt yourself. i'm rather far from being a virgin, yet i waited quite a while to actually bang my boyfriend. in some cases, sex has quite a bit of meaning to it, and people want to wait till they're sure they can handle taking the relationship to a higher level of intimacy.

puh.

Gordie
02-02-2005, 09:22 AM
Just speak to her about it. i think i waited 6 months with my current gf before we had sex. It was a hell of a lot easier knowing that both of us wanted it, rather than trying to guess.

thats exactly how i was.. we waited 6 months before we had sex, and ya, we both really wanted to so it was good.. because the feeling was mutual


He's only 16 y/o, for god's sake. Too young to be having sex anyway.

To bouncingcoles - Do you have a good paying job to take care of a baby if you get her pregnant? You do know condoms don't always work, same for birth control that a female uses. Before you have sex with anyone, you should ask yourself if you're ready to be a daddy.

thats not entirely true.. i mean, if you do practice safe sex, you wont have that problem, i guess its just a personal preference to when u should have sex, i dont think that age really matters(altho there are exceptions), what matters is if the two of you are ready to have sex, and be responsable and mature about it..

JoY
02-02-2005, 11:21 AM
hey, i think my girlfriend is afraid to have sex!!!! she is still a virgin!!! im still a virgin too! but anyway, ya i think she is just really nervous about it. i havent actually talked to her about it, but she kinda gave me a hint. we have been going out for about 3 months. should i wait a bit longer? what should i do???!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP ME OUT LADIES!!!!!
she probably just isn't ready. when she feels entirely comfortable with the idea of having sex & having it with you, then she'll let you know. don't force things, don't give her the idea she should go faster, than she really wants to... just respect her & leave room for her own initiative. then she'll know she can take all the time she wants. all the time in the world. then she'll know you'd wait for her, because you care & you're not just in for a quick shag. & then the whole idea of sex & sex with you might not seem so bad anymore & you might not have to wait so long.

hah. I feel a bit bitter now.

oh, & I agree with Mags (Sunny); if you aren't able to discuss it & communicate together like two equal human beings, then nevermind sex & let go of the idea.
I also agree with her point, that sex sometimes *does* mean more than just going in & out, blowing load & leaving again. a year ago I would've screamed off rooftops, that it doesn't mean much at all, because I deeply wanted to believe that. but if you do care about the other person, it does mean something.

I also agree with Nicole. quite well put.

UgLy_eLf
02-02-2005, 11:24 AM
Sorry but most kids are too stupid these days to know how to use a condom, my friend got pregnant her first time having sex at 15, and her boyfriend did use a condom. Now he's in a runaway, spent sometime in mental institutions, and she birthed that fuckin kid and her parents take care of it, not to mention the extensive damage to her body...yuck.

3 months of dating is nothing if you're a virgin, give it time and don't pressure her, the worst sex you can have is when a female, or male is pressured when they are not ready. It'll hurt physically and mentally, and the person who's not ready is most likely to regret it.

Idiot
02-02-2005, 11:31 AM
3 months of dating is nothing if you're a virgin, give it time and don't pressure her, the worst sex you can have is when a female, or male is pressured when they are not ready. It'll hurt physically and mentally, and the person who's not ready is most likely to regret it.

Too true, very well said.

Linda
02-02-2005, 11:57 AM
thats exactly how i was.. we waited 6 months before we had sex, and ya, we both really wanted to so it was good.. because the feeling was mutual



thats not entirely true.. i mean, if you do practice safe sex, you wont have that problem, i guess its just a personal preference to when u should have sex, i dont think that age really matters(altho there are exceptions), what matters is if the two of you are ready to have sex, and be responsable and mature about it..

There is no such thing as 100% safe sex, unless you just don't have any.
Go ask your doctor if you don't believe me.

JoY
02-02-2005, 11:59 AM
Linda, no offence, but I don't agree with you saying a sixteen year old isn't old/mature enough for sex. first off, I don't think you know much about his maturity, or that of his girlfriend. (though I agree he doesn't seem very mature..) secondly; do you have to be fully mature to have sex? why? young ones can be very much in love too & they can enjoy it just as much as older people.. third off; the pregnancy-argument is quite silly. the chance a woman gets pregnant after unprotected sex is about 1/100. if they have sex safely there's hardly any risk. & IF she'd get pregnant, it wouldn't be the end of the world. there are always such things as abortions, adoptions & the help of family & friends to figure these things out.

don't be pissed at me for not agreeing with you. I'm not attacking you in any way.

JoY
02-02-2005, 12:01 PM
There is no such thing as 100% safe sex, unless you just don't have any.
Go ask your doctor if you don't believe me.
you're completely right there.
but there is something as 99.98% safe sex.
on this planet NOTHING is a 100% sure. you're not a 100% sure you'll still be alive tomorrow, you're not a 100% sure all your belongings will still be there, when you get home... if you never take chances, never take risks, never figure things out for yourself & experience them, then you'll never grow up.

Linda
02-02-2005, 12:15 PM
Anytime people have sex, whether they use birth control or not, there is always that chance of pregnancy or transmitting std's. You can believe what you want, I'm not mad, but what I say is a fact. A guy can wear a condom, but one little hole in it and chances are there for the girl tol get pregnant. It is easier for young women to get pregnant then it is for older women. I'm not saying this would happen on the first time, but the possibility is there. It is very traumatic for the girl to get pregnant, especially if she is a teenager. Personally, I don't care if these 2 have sex.
I'm not their mother, and I'm not the one that would have to support their baby IF she gets pregnant, so if they want to take that chance, more power to them. With the cost of living going up more and more each year, it is harder and harder for young people like that to make it. So many end up living at home with their parents, being supported by their parents. Maybe young people today don't mind that living arrangement, but I would not like to live that way.

UgLy_eLf
02-02-2005, 01:13 PM
I know a few 100% solutions........



Hysterectomy!!

Tie your tubes, or slice them off for good!

Menopause!!!

Vasectomy!! (not so sure about this one but 100% anyway!)

An ugly face! (like mine kept me from getting sacked for years)

A cork! (to place in the male or female hole)

Necrophilia!! (the dead can't be pregnant, unless you're watching Dawn of the Dead...)

Panzerfaust92
02-02-2005, 01:16 PM
My advice: you've gotta get laid, by any means necessary. If your girl turns you down, take a voyage to Mustang Ranch.

Skate Rat 19
02-02-2005, 01:54 PM
It is every mans god given crusade to get laid.(whores count as cheating) Now all u need to do is bring over something make out and work your way slowly. put on pay the man too, the songs is kinda trance like so it should help. Good Luck and god speed!



However if she refuses dont force it, wait till ur birthday or valintines day.

RXP
02-02-2005, 02:26 PM
they might be, but right now you're being a stupid cunt yourself. i'm rather far from being a virgin, yet i waited quite a while to actually bang my boyfriend. in some cases, sex has quite a bit of meaning to it, and people want to wait till they're sure they can handle taking the relationship to a higher level of intimacy.

puh.

Why is it such a big deal? Because women make it a big deal. Sex is lame.

Betty
02-02-2005, 03:27 PM
You're such an ass. It's not just women that want to wait.

I think it's a lot more desirable to wait your first time for many reasons. Like, getting comfortable enough sexually that the sex might actually be GOOD, getting comfortable enough to get naked with somebody (some people are quite embarassed about this, especially if nobody has ever seen them before), getting comfortable enough to TALK about sex, etc, etc.

I don't personally place emphasis on "saving myself" or "fear of pregnancy" so much as feeling comfortable with someone and being physically and mentally ready.

Once you've had lots of sex though, it's way easier to just jump into bed with someone after a very short period of time, cause you're used to it, and so are they.

Linda
02-02-2005, 06:25 PM
Ignore is truly the most wonderful feature on this bbs. :)

JohnnyNemesis
02-02-2005, 06:30 PM
Once again, Betty speaks the truth.

Another thing to remember is that sex is what YOU make it. Just be open and honest with your partner and no matter what TALK about everything, goddammit.

Sunny
02-02-2005, 08:21 PM
Why is it such a big deal? Because women make it a big deal. Sex is lame.


no they don't, actually. that degree of physical closeness is a big deal to a lot of guys too, and understandably so. not only can it lead to a strong emotional attachment, but it's also exposing your body and making yourself vulnerable. so trust is an essential element of good sex.

besides, sex sucks if you're not very comfortable with someone, cause it can get awkward as hell.

and you probably think sex is lame cause you're not having it.

RXP
02-02-2005, 09:07 PM
and you probably think sex is lame cause you're not having it.

Incorrect.

Women ON THE WHOLE make sex into a bigger deal than it is. They are stupid idoits for doing so. I don't care what anyone say. Society makes sex into some huge thing so women think they need it to be speical. I don't know one girl who was happy with her first time, purely because they build it up in their minds into something huge.

Love is so much more than sex, it's society that's made it into that. And women ON THE WHOLE take it way too seriously. They have romantic ideas of having a "one and only".

My main problem with most women is that when they're like at that stage they can give head but not have sex. Why is this? Because sex is blown up into this huge thing, while a BJ is fine. A cock in the mouth is fine, but a cock up the muff is love. WTF.

You know I tell it like it is people. You love me for it.

Sunny
02-02-2005, 09:36 PM
sex is not love, and whoever thinks that it is.. has a problem. it can be an expression of love, that's all.

but, er, what's wrong with wanting sex to be special? if i'm gonna have a part of someone up my body, it better fucking be special. otherwise, what's the point of such level of intimacy?

people say that having sex is like eating or taking a shit, ie. purely fulfilling a physical need. it's the dumbest thing ever. eating or taking a shit do NOT involve 1) becoming vulnerable 2) extreme physical closeness.

and why is sex lame, exactly?

UgLy_eLf
02-02-2005, 10:02 PM
I'd hate to cancel out your rant RXP but I will, I didn't build sex up to be anything spectacular, when I got close enough with my BF it happened, and it was good as fuck.

There goes your "WOMEN ON THE WHOLE WORLD" BS. Even though most of you don't even consider me female, fuck you guys.

But I can see where you are coming from RXP, sex becomes a fantasy for young girls, they want it perfect, which is ridiculous, and sad. As far as oral sex goes, I think of that as an even more intimate thing, all trust there.... you know?

RXP
02-03-2005, 12:48 AM
Exactly Sunny the BJ thing. I'll stop being a jackass here and be honest.

I wanted my first time to be really special too and it was cause she was the sweetest thing. But why can't women see it that way? If the guy is decent bang him. Don't blow it up into this huge romantic thing cause it will dissapoint.

I seriously don't understand how a girl can be comfortable enough to get naked, suck a guy off and have him cum in her mouth but not have sex. Why is this? Because society has made it into a huge thing. A dick in the mouth is fine but a dick up her pussy is special. wtf?! What it basically comes down to it is if she sucks loads of guys off she doesn't feel like the whore she is.

And sex is lame because of the protection it ruins the feeling, maybe on the pill it would be better, but I prefer head. IN MY SUBJECTIVE VIEW.

And WOMEN ON THE WHOLE do think like I've said. I've said it before of course their are those cool women who aren't like that, my girlfriend is one of 'em that's why I like her cause she's isn't the typical woman who I dispise. She's honest, doesn't play games, wears her heart on her sleeve, she's awesome.

MOST WOMEN in MY EXPERIENCE (and from what I hear other guys moan about) play constant games, stress about stupid things and are idoits.

BUt my view of women has been tainted by this one bitch who's the personification of the typical woman. But from what I hear other guys say women ON THE WHOLE are like I describe them to be.

meaning_of_life
02-03-2005, 01:01 AM
your right about its ok for women to give head and not be called a hussy, but to have intercourse is a slutty thing. too many girls expect to much from there first time, and its flops. i couldnt care less about my first time, i was drunk and in a sand dune on a golf course. i can understand women wanting it to be with the right person, thats all good, but society has blown it up into a huge issue, where "everything has to be perfect".

RXP
02-03-2005, 01:10 AM
Women are stupid, no?

RXP
02-03-2005, 01:14 AM
people say that having sex is like eating or taking a shit, ie. purely fulfilling a physical need. it's the dumbest thing ever. eating or taking a shit do NOT involve 1) becoming vulnerable 2) extreme physical closeness.

So does kissing, well it does for me. So does giving head. Yet they do it all the time without second thought. Society!

meaning_of_life
02-03-2005, 01:17 AM
society is stupider than women.

Subject2Availability_rule
02-03-2005, 01:19 AM
meaning of life i can'y display your post on my school computer too many "questionable words" lol, now i want to know what you said it's so unfair

RXP
02-03-2005, 01:21 AM
society is stupider than women.

Who makes these stupid standards for women? Women. Women are stupid cunts IMHO. Like the makeup thing or hte hair. I'm the only guy I know that notices hair and makeup and that's cause I'm quasi gay. No one else notices this shit but they spend so much money on it.

PresidentKiller
02-03-2005, 01:26 AM
...and that's cause I'm quasi gay...

And why is that?? :confused:

meaning_of_life
02-03-2005, 01:26 AM
women also have their "standards" because of men. ive been with a few girls whom i was trying to get them to have sex with me, and when i did, i thought less of them afterwards. the main reason being i didnt know them very well, and they were as keen as me if not keener. men treat women as bad as women treat themselves, if not worse.

RXP
02-03-2005, 01:27 AM
Men should treat all women like whores unless they are really nice.

meaning_of_life
02-03-2005, 01:28 AM
Like the makeup thing or hte hair.
women do these things to feel good about themselves as much as they do it for attention. and other women expect them to look good, too. IMO anywayz.

Subject2Availability_rule
02-03-2005, 01:31 AM
Men should treat all women like unless they are really nice.
i disagree but my friend patch enjoys being treated like one

RXP
02-03-2005, 01:54 AM
Does she like guys cumming on her face and giving her STDs?

DirtyMagical
02-03-2005, 02:03 AM
My advice:

Put some GHB in her drink and rape her.

JoY
02-03-2005, 05:34 AM
RXP; your view is, besides subjective, judgemental, close minded & pretty ignorant.

RXP
02-03-2005, 06:15 AM
Ignorant because you say it's so? Ignorant because the rest of society says it's so? Ignorance is defined by the mass viewpoint. My viewpoint isn't PC, it's the honest truth so people call me ignorant. My point is against the feminist propaganda that has been brainwashing the media. My viewpoint is against the trendy thing that you can't class people under labels. But you can.

I generalise because you can. Certian social groupings have certain chracteristics. All generlisations are rooted in truth. Of course not all women are how I describe. But it's clearly not ignorant to say the things I've said that are true. The BJ versus sex thing for example. The way society deems women are whores so they suck dick instead.

I can make generlisations abotu men. Men are stupid dicks because they do anything to score, they'll lie heck pay. They'll break a girls heart. On the whole men do this more than women. Because it's inherient in biology or society's cleansing of man. Argue otherwise, but please argue with evidence.

This is not ignorant. This is fact. Find a more substantive way to disprove my points like Sunny did (which I commend btw) without a broad over general sweeping statement saying I'm ignorant for beliving in what I do and backing it up with facts AND furthermore admitting that NOT ALL WOMEN are like that, just the majority I KNOW.

That's all we can do judge by whom we know. To do otherwise is to infer into others when you don't know them.

How can you say I don't have a good point about the sex thing? Society has brainwashed women into thinking sex is a huge thing. I've given the example a hundred times already, the BJ is fine but the sex isn't. Why? Society says so.

Think outside the box. That's where you'll seek clarity.

Betty
02-03-2005, 07:39 AM
I HATE the saying "think outside the box". Ick.

Anyway, I think you shouldn't even be saying "WOMEN ON THE WHOLE" RXP... I think your view is somewhat old fashioned. In this day and age, a lot of women like sex, want sex, and are not afraid to get it. Some are how you described, but many aren't. None of my female friends were that way at all. I'm not saying they'll all jump into bed with a random guy, but that they have realistic views towards sex (e.g. it won't be amazing your first time, it's not THAT special, you don't have to wait FOREVER, etc.)

I would like to comment on the blowjob vs. sex thing. I agree that it's stupid to think sex is much more of a big deal on your "virginity" or "purity" or whatever than giving head/fooling around. However, there are other reasons girls would be more willing to do one than the other. Like I explained, sex involves getting NAKED and PUTTING A PENIS INSIDE OF YOUR VAGINA. This is very intimate. Blow jobs involve unzipping a fly and sucking a penis. It's very different in terms of the level of uncomfortableness. However, I do think a lot of women are nervous about having a man give THEM head, as it is more intimate I believe, just cause the way it works.

JoY
02-03-2005, 07:43 AM
I actually was planning on saying nothing more on the matter, because I think the whole discussion has already been had a thousand times, or so. & you will -never- change your point of view, so it doesn't seem like there's any use. your views are fact anyway. I don't even get why you're challenging me to share my opinions, because no matter what I say, what you say always seems to mean more.

Mags already said enough. I actually have little to nothing to add to that. but since you've basically asked for it.. prepare yourself.

first off; when it comes to blowjobs; I think having cock in mouth is even more intimate than having it up the vagina. to say it purely technically. before I go down on a guy & suck his lovely member, I'm more likely to have sex with him first. think that's weird? blowjobs take confidence & trust for me. I wouldn't put my head anywhere between a guy's legs, if I did't fully trust him. why? because from down there I can't look at him, from down there I don't know where his hands are going & for all I know, he could grab my hair & slam my throat around his cock. these are things I don't particularly enjoy, so yes, a blowjob does take trust & is a rather big deal, if you ask me.
also; bringing your FACE as close to a penis, as you possibly can.. seeing his pubic hair while you move towards it & away from it again.. that's kind of interesting, but it's also a weird position to be in. the idea of a blowjob is pretty weird, if you think about it; you're sexually satisfying the male reproductive organ with your *mouth*. not somewhere, where you don't even have to see it, if you don't want to - no, your mouth, that's pretty fucking close to your eyes. you have to be extremely comfortable with either the penis in general, or the carrier of the particular penis, would you confront yourself with the thing *that* much.

secondly; sex isn't *that* huge for chickas in general. many, MANY girls have one night stands. how else would it be possible for so many, many guys to have them? but fact is, that it feels a lot better to be intimite with someone you trust, care about, enjoy cuddling with & enjoy being around... doing very fun stuff with a very fun person increases the fun logically.

sex without all these things can be quite enjoyable, but it's like talking about private things with someone, who doesn't really care what the fuck you're saying. when you have sex, you show a part of yourself you don't normally show. you don't walk around naked, you don't have sex in public, where everyone can see the moves you make, where everyone can hear the sounds you make & most of all; you don't normally get as close to people as that. like Mags said; you show yourself in the most vulnerable state. to fully enjoy sex, you've got to trust the other with yourself. otherwise it *is* enjoyable, but not as awesome as it could be.

right. I think this is crystal clear & also pretty fucking obvious.

look here, girls aren't entirely unrealistic. I don't know what IDIOTIC idea you've managed to create of them, when you clearly haven't ever really been close enough to them, to state anything on this subject. when a girl has sex, she doesn't expect the guy to be with her forever & ever. sex isn't a promiss, sex is sex. & you can use it as a tool to show your affection & love for someone with it, but it still would be sex. & like a girl would be likely to stay with a guy forever & ever after they had sex. not really. believe me.

there's no way girls in general just want to have sex with 'The One', or fucking 'Mr. Right'. maybe the one they love at that time, but not the one they think they'll stay with forever. because there's no possible way you could ever know how you'll feel about someone in a week or two, or how he'll feel about you. like I said; when you feel comfortable with someone & trust him/her, it makes sex a LOT more fun. I guess that's what many girls are - consciously, or not - aiming for. to see the beauty of it & knowing how good it can really be. I don't see anything wrong with that. when your first time sex isn't with someone you love, the world certainly doesn't end, but you don't have a complete & good impression of how lovely it can be.

a negative experience with sex, in the way that the other goes further than you'd like to, *is* quite goddam painful & huge, for already stated reasons. someone takes advantage of you in the most vulnerable state & that's simply hurtful. you don't just undress yourself for anyone, you don't just caress & stroke anyone.. you simply don't get that close to just anyone. that takes either quite a bit of trust, or a lot of naiveness. when someone abuses that for his own pleasure, than your trust has been put to shame. you're being punished for getting as close to someone as you did. really, it *is* huge. it is definitely very hurtful & wrong.

JoY
02-03-2005, 07:46 AM
However, there are other reasons girls would be more willing to do one than the other. Like I explained, sex involves getting NAKED and PUTTING A PENIS INSIDE OF YOUR VAGINA. This is very intimate.
haha. sorry, but this particular part made me giggle for a good few minutes.
I'm probably just immature, but I just -adore- your directness.

Pinocchio
02-03-2005, 07:54 AM
When I lost my virginity, I was with my girlfriend for a year at the time. Now I don't wait at all, but the first time is special...

(hehe, when I lost it, it was the second time I saw the girl. not proud at all.)

anyway, to the actual topic, you don`t really have to discuss the thing before you do it.
just do it when the time and atmosphere are good for it (you can self make those happen) ,if she hesitates, then talk about the issue.

JoY
02-03-2005, 09:11 AM
Who makes these stupid standards for women? Women. Women are stupid cunts IMHO. Like the makeup thing or hte hair. I'm the only guy I know that notices hair and makeup and that's cause I'm quasi gay. No one else notices this shit but they spend so much money on it.
I spend about 20 euros per YEAR on it. not too dramatic, now is it?

I think YOU are blowing this whole thing out of proportions. your opinion on females is definitely not based on anything real. I can tell you this, BEING a female, but you probably still won't give a fuck.

I'm member of a sorority; I could tell you exactly how much about 1600 girls (yes, sixteenhundred) spend on make up per year. it is NOT -that- much. looking good doesn't necessarily mean putting an expensive pancake on your face. looking good reflects in health, clean skin, a slightly exercised body, nice clean hair... girls might spend quite a few pennies on this, yes, but jaysus, even a DUCK takes a little effort to look good. & goddam, if you can't even take care of yourself, then who the hell *can* you take care of??

also; being reckless & irresponsible with money by spending it on something that's relatively so unimportant in life is not a part of the female personality. we're not stupid, cookie. we can count & know & understand the value of money. of course intelligence plays a part here. right now I'm guessing the girls you know are about as dumb as a fucking truckdriver. (if we're stereotyping anyway..) that would also explain why they think marrying a rich husband would provide them of more & better chances in life. that shows extremely twisted priorities & about the intelligence of a grape.

I could also tell you how many one night stands these girls of my sorority have & how devoted to their virginity they really are. with your intentions & way of thinking my sorority might sound like a fucking heaven to you, where you could finally find some sexual satisfaction & a bit of self-esteem on your pillow, but I hope you understand your chances aren't too good with the distance you create between yourself & women.

your view on the whole subject of females is entirely twisted & based on nothing but negative prejudgements. out of which bodyhole you've pulled those, I don't even want to know. but it's obvious, that you haven't got a clue what you're talking about, when it comes to women. that's not your fault, you were simply born a boy. don't let it make you bitter. if your opinions make you sleep easy at night & make you a happy puppy in love & life, go ahead & keep them. just know you don't know.

JoY
02-03-2005, 12:09 PM
oh don't be such a wuss & just react, will you.

RXP
02-03-2005, 12:16 PM
You woudln't believe me if I replied to you and said your entirely right. My view of women was blinded by my loneliness and that one chick I was close to (I think I've talked to you about her).

Well she is all the things I describe. She's a nice person at heart but she's been spoilt by everyone. It ain't her fault.

Now my view is slowly changing. Chicks seem to be cooler. I still don't like alot of things that women have control over and how feminists have made it way to bias in a lot of respects. But still my view is changing. My girlfriend (omg WCM will start calling me sKratch2) is awesome. She's none of what I described. Well actually she did waste Ł100 shopping but SHE EARNT that money in her job. Not used her student loan or parents.

Anyway you are right. But I will always believe you can generalise because women, men any social grouping share chracteristics. And women on the whole do require their egos to be stroaked. I've seen the world from a point of view that none of you have ever seen it and that will forever make me see clearly. You simply can't understand what it's like unless you've been there. And I know thousands are still going thru what I was going thru because of the way society is structured that men do the chasing and women wait.

We really gotta catch up on MSN sometime, alot's changed in my life I wanna tell you!

JoY
02-03-2005, 02:25 PM
this was an unexpected reaction. I thought you'd be slightly pissed at me for getting into this conversation so passionately. maybe a bit too passionately. I thought you'd mess with every point I had & give a more negative twist to it. right well, I'm slightly disappointed, because I was seriously enjoying defending women (yes, I SO do enjoy a good argument), but on the other hand I'm very glad you understand all the things I said & even agree with it. see? women aren't just a great, large group of trouble. I'm glad you know that even *I* can be... alright. & stuff.

generalising is the most easy & most common way to approach someone. even in my studies I *learn* to generalise patients; is someone outgoing, not at all, is someone negative, or positive... such things. first impressions are very important. but being opened up to adjust that impression if necessary & learn to approach someone as an individual is even more important. I guess that's why I'm glad.

I'll never be on the other side, as you said. you're completely right about that. I can observe other women & make up my mind about them, but as for me being a part of that group.. I look in a different way & from a different angle, you're right. I consider some things normal for a girl, that you might consider absolutely ridiculous.

I think I can agree on your point, that women need their ego's stroked. yes. I know I do. I can be a very insecure little piece of shit. but I know many guys, who are too, & love the hell out of compliments. & having mentioned this & seeing your reply, you've probably figured women out to a point, that you know they just love it, when a guy in a discussion says "you're absolutely right". hahahaha, no, I'm teasing. but I've heard it's true. it's a satisfying feeling for them to know, that they aren't just the irrational accessories, that men take to parties to show off. we can think for ourselves & even if it isn't always in the right direction, we obviously like to prove it. so far for my generalising.

society does have an influence. on all of us. & that doesn't only make all of us suffer, it also gives us important morals & values. it binds us in a way.

*smiles* we -should- catch up on MSN some time. I haven't been online in ages actually & all my social internet connections are definitely suffering from it. *giggle* & all the girl-talk made me VERY interested & curious what your life looks like now.

Kathy
02-03-2005, 04:13 PM
Just say like "So you wanna fuck?". It always works.

Yeah right, thats so romantic.

leo3375
02-03-2005, 07:08 PM
This is a very personal matter for both of you. Her anxiety is perfectly normal. My advice to you is to wait until you're both ready. Talk about it, get tested for STDs if you haven't been tested already, and learn how to properly use contraceptives. Granted, the first time will be really awkward, but if you're both ready for it, you shouldn't have any regrets when the time comes.

Linda
02-03-2005, 07:16 PM
Get out of the fucking dark ages. You're like, 80. Far too old to be giving advice about sex.

And dude with the frigid chick, just say like "So you wanna fuck?". It always works.

He IS too young if he needs to ask if he should have sex with his g/f.

It's far MORE dangerous to have sex now than when I was young, and I'm not 80. When I was young, the big deal was getting pregnant, now there's so many STD's spread around, not to mention HIV. So don't think I don't know what I"m talking about. I would bet I know more about sex than most of the people here...probably getting more too. haha

Did I mention you're an idiot? *reads reply again*
Nope..I didn't. TripBoy, you're an idiot.

Linda
02-04-2005, 06:42 AM
Once again you fail to be funny.

Not Ozymandias
02-10-2005, 10:49 PM
Ease her into it. Start with the finger. Then lick her out. Make her think you care.