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bighead384
02-17-2012, 04:24 PM
Think of things that would make you the biggest asshole imaginable. I mean, you don't even have to personally find them funny or anything, as long as it's a dick thing to do.

-A father dragging his daughter through the halls in school and yelling "My daughter was late for school today because she had diarrhea!" just to teach her not to be late.

-Unbuckling someone's seat belt and then crashing on purpose.

-Driving into a graveyard and ruining a funeral with heavy metal music.

KickHimWhenHe'sDown
02-17-2012, 05:11 PM
I'm sorry bighead, but you're going to experience some pretty rude - and slightly witty - responses directed your way because of the last thread you made.

This wasn't really the appropriate time to start a thread talking about "assholes"

WebDudette
02-17-2012, 05:14 PM
this guy. (http://goatse.info/)

nsfw

KickHimWhenHe'sDown
02-17-2012, 05:16 PM
this guy. (http://goatse.info/)

nsfw

I should of clued in with the words "guy" and "nsfw"

I am now mentally scarred.

XYlophonetreeZ
02-17-2012, 05:28 PM
I'm sorry bighead, but you're going to experience some pretty rude - and slightly witty - responses directed your way because of the last thread you made.

This wasn't really the appropriate time to start a thread talking about "assholes"
Oh, come on. He's creating this thread for us to enjoy. The other thread didn't get locked so that we could keep talking about it elsewhere.

But I will say one thing about it. I'm rather delighted that the last post consisted of "penus penus penus." Exactly how I wanted it.

Llamas
02-17-2012, 05:46 PM
this guy. (http://goatse.info/)

nsfw

Super glad I moused over it before clicking. I've so far managed to avoid seeing that, or tub girl, or 2 girls 1 jar, or any of that mental trauma.


I'm sorry bighead, but you're going to experience some pretty rude - and slightly witty - responses directed your way because of the last thread you made.

This wasn't really the appropriate time to start a thread talking about "assholes"

I considered just responding to the thread with "be bighead", but then I figured it'd ignite another fuckbomb (yes). So I decided not to. :(

Chainsaw
02-17-2012, 08:56 PM
Post when you're drunk? Sure!

Once I rose above the noise and confusion
Just to get a glimpse beyond this illusion
I was soaring ever higher
But I flew too high!

Not to be confused with Kansas, totally original.

XYlophonetreeZ
02-17-2012, 10:37 PM
So I think this question, as it's framed, is too easy. Obviously it'd be something involving rape, torture, and mass murder. Duh. Anyone who does that shit is an asshole. I mean, more importantly, they're psychopathic freaks, but they're also assholes.

I think what you're trying to ask is "What is the upper bound of the term 'asshole,' beyond which they'd be criminally insane?" In that case, your answers are pretty good. I'll try to come up with some more when I'm less drunk and tired.

T-6005
02-17-2012, 11:18 PM
Fuck it. I'm bringing this argument back, because I feel it's important. If it gets the thread locked, well, I suppose I deserve it.

I don't hate bighead. I never really did, and I still kind of don't.

Don't get me wrong, Tom. I think that the way that you have treated 1565 is contemptible. I feel that you blame her for a symptomatic rash of users whom she isn't, who have their own distinct forms of calling out, and who just happen to be able to act within the rules of this place - they cease and desist when called upon.

These users themselves aren't necessarily a bad thing - though I'll say that it's far from surprising when ilovellamas and mrconeman find themselves agreeing on things and then remembering when they used to hate each other. I don't dislike either of them. In fact, I quite like them. But I also don't particularly dislike you.

I'm a terrible stereotype - the internet hippie. I just like people. I liked Justin and HornyPope and Izie and Bella and Betty and ThE_GoDdEsS and WCM (though let's be serious, who ever really disliked Per?) and all the rest. It's hard for me to dislike people. But it's easy for me to disagree.

I see some of the same tendencies in you. And in the midst of that odd collective gasp before people burn the olive branch, you aren't unreasonable. You aren't absolutely bigoted. And you certainly aren't particularly stupid.

What you are is struggling to integrate other people's narratives into your own. It's a problem all of us struggle with, and it's by far the hardest way to deal with other people - but it remains all the more rewarding for all that.

I had an incredible professor, Malcolm Blincow, who just retired this year. He told my class that "Anyone can attack the weak points in an argument, and it is a particularly prevalent practice in academic work. But if you believe that you can truly disprove an argument, attack the strong parts. It deserves nothing less." I'm paraphrasing from a brilliant teacher here, but he struck a very strong chord with me. The less petty the elements you are forced to focus on, the more you must respect your opponent. And this is directed at pretty much everyone here.

Well, except 1565, Treez and Justin. Treez is a non-poster, a shadowy figure who thinks before he writes and as a result ends up synthesizing a lot of the disparate viewpoints that people are throwing back and forth. It's not a project that people appreciate, and so he's usually ignored (except by me of course <3). Justin's a drunken asshole and he probably barely remembers or cares about my opinion on the matter. And he's a bigot, an asshole, a huge fan of Paul Hogan and despite being an Omega-level troll (little X-men reference there for you all just in case this was getting serious) manages to get people to slap tears onto pixels just for his amusement. More importantly, the exercise makes sense. It forces you to attack the strong points.

As for 1565, I only mention it because, like I started, you've been unfair. It's not everyday you'll find someone willing to own up to systemic problems on a board. And good luck to forcing an admission of 'I feel bad about it' from a stone when users get banned. It's a movement, bighead. Don't attack the weak parts. Attack the strong parts, if you can. And if you can't, just let it go and save your strength (and your considerable anger) for what truly deserves it.

There you go. Board Peace.

PS - Yes, I did say that llamas and coneman are particularly argumentative. And you fuckers are. By denying it, you'd be playing right into my claim.

Gotcha suckas!!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMgKj3QGv2o

T-6005
02-17-2012, 11:22 PM
I considered just responding to the thread with "be bighead", but then I figured it'd ignite another fuckbomb (yes). So I decided not to. :(

And yet, shockingly, you managed to do it.

I wonder how that happened?

"I'm not saying your mother's a whore, but if I had something to say about your mother, I'd say she's a whore. Not that you've asked me to say anything, of course."

SkunkIt
02-17-2012, 11:34 PM
The biggest assholes imaginable caused genocides and raped children. Why would anyone want to imagine that?

bighead384
02-18-2012, 09:38 AM
I remember one time Baldwin wrote something about digging up a dead guy and putting him on the dead's guys best friends porch. Hahaha. Baldwin rules, even though he's a fag sort of.

T-6005, your post is on temporary tl;dr status. I'll get to it.

Baldwin
02-18-2012, 09:48 AM
Aaron the Moor actually is the biggest asshole imaginable.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnEuv1XShWQ

Jakebert
02-18-2012, 09:56 AM
Ignoring the more obvious stuff- rape, murder, etc, and sticking to stuff that is within the confines of daily life, a few case studies I've witnessed in assholery:

-Dude has weird sexual relationship with a girl he actively hates. He asks her to come have sex. She drives 45 minutes to his house to do it. He falls asleep and doesn't get her calls/texts that she's there. She waits an hour then leaves. She's halfway home and he calls her to come back. She does. They have sex and he immediately asks her to leave.

-A guy and his girlfriend are watching some trivia show on TV. A child gets an answer wrong and the guy makes fun of him. Girlfriend admits she didn't know the answer. Boyfriend proceeds to call her stupid and mock her for 15 minutes.

-More to come.

yarock
02-18-2012, 09:58 AM
There is a special reward for the person who will post the goatse with img tags.

Llamas
02-18-2012, 10:28 AM
There is a special reward for the person who will post the goatse with img tags.

Is that "special reward" a ban, by any chance?

BagOfShenanigans
02-18-2012, 11:22 AM
So, is there a point to this thread, or should I leave before I am redirected to lemonparty, or meatspin?

bighead384
02-18-2012, 11:31 AM
Ever see those pictures of that girl who crashed her car and was ripped to shreds? Apparently, she had just gotten into a fight with her father and sped off. I read somewhere that someone emailed the father with the subject line reading something like "Hey Dad, it's me. I'm alive". And then it was just the pictures of the girl's limbs and brains splattered everywhere.

killer_queen
02-18-2012, 11:43 AM
I guess I don't have big assholes in my life. The biggest I've ever known was a guy who told the ending of the last Harry Potter book to his best friend. They still don't talk to each other.

And as the Offspring BBS we have our own biggest asshole Andy. It's been voted so no one can argue with it. He may not have done stuff like posting people their dead daughters' photos but still we are proud of him.

bighead384
02-18-2012, 11:48 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ZXREZ__l1k

I laughed for like 20 seconds. Man, I'm a dick. I don't think it's really funny, it's just so fucking wrong that it's somehow funny.

@thekillerqueen: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v649/supercrank/attachment.jpg I remember watching a video of a guy driving up to the midnight release of that Harry Potter book at Barnes & Noble and yelling that phrase out on a speaker.

Guy destroys brand new PS3 on release day in front of people waiting in a giant line: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H31Zd_pOnB8

Baldwin
02-18-2012, 12:03 PM
9/11 wasn't funny, you asshole. 19 good Muslims died that day.

KickHimWhenHe'sDown
02-18-2012, 01:59 PM
9/11 wasn't funny, you asshole. 19 good Muslims died that day.

Too funny. I suppose American's are beyond the point where it's terrible to poke fun at 9-11

Hey Man Where's Everybody
02-18-2012, 03:57 PM
I guess I don't have big assholes in my life.

There's a joke I really want to make but can't figure out the right way to make it. So I'm just going to post about really wanting to make a joke instead of actually making the joke. Mediocre Internet 101.

KickHimWhenHe'sDown
02-18-2012, 04:06 PM
There's a joke I really want to make but can't figure out the right way to make it. So I'm just going to post about really wanting to make a joke instead of actually making the joke. Mediocre Internet 101.

I do that all the time!

bighead384
02-21-2012, 11:29 AM
What you are is struggling to integrate other people's narratives into your own. It's a problem all of us struggle with, and it's by far the hardest way to deal with other people - but it remains all the more rewarding for all that.

I had an incredible professor, Malcolm Blincow, who just retired this year. He told my class that "Anyone can attack the weak points in an argument, and it is a particularly prevalent practice in academic work. But if you believe that you can truly disprove an argument, attack the strong parts. It deserves nothing less." I'm paraphrasing from a brilliant teacher here, but he struck a very strong chord with me. The less petty the elements you are forced to focus on, the more you must respect your opponent. And this is directed at pretty much everyone here.
I would agree that I "struggle to integrate other people's narratives into [my] own". A lot of my judgements place a lot of weight on personal experience. Even though I try to understand the limits of personal experience, and the important of empirical evidence, I also feel like certain people tend to gravitate towards using established theories to explain all behavior, and miss out on some of the truth because of it. It's a complicated matter that I can't fully explain. I almost feel as though academia in general is too confident in it's theories to explain many phenomena. Perhaps I could think of an example later, but I wanted to at least explain it first. But that's mostly where my "anti-intellectual" sentiment comes from.

And just for the sake of mentioning it, I really like that quote by your teacher. It popped into my mind several times since I've read it a few days ago.

JohnnyNemesis
02-23-2012, 02:09 PM
Judging from the title, this thread should've been about me.

BagOfShenanigans
02-23-2012, 03:22 PM
The biggest asshole imaginable would have to be a whale asshole. Think about it..

Llamas
02-23-2012, 04:35 PM
Whoa, whoa, guys. How is this thread still going on?

http://offspring.com/community/showthread.php?t=21651&highlight=horse+fucking

You're welcome.

RageAndLov
02-25-2012, 11:05 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ZXREZ__l1k

I laughed for like 20 seconds. Man, I'm a dick. I don't think it's really funny, it's just so fucking wrong that it's somehow funny.


http://z0r.de/207

KickHimWhenHe'sDown
02-25-2012, 11:25 AM
Wow now I feel like a terrible person. I can here it in another tab and I'm still smiling

bighead384
01-21-2013, 06:31 AM
A boss firing an employee creates a short comic titled "This is you later tonight" and leaves it on the employee's desk.

The comic simply shows a man driving home from work, sitting at the dinner table with his wife and kids, being ask "how was work today daddy?" by his youngest son, and having to respond "not good, son. I got FIRED". The last frame of the comic is just a short message from the boss saying "You're fired. Seriously".

KickHimWhenHe'sDown
01-23-2013, 03:27 PM
Wow now I feel like a terrible person. I can here it in another tab and I'm still smiling

How embarrassing! I spelled "hear" wrong.