PDA

View Full Version : Amazing Piece of Gothic Poetry



bighead384
02-28-2012, 08:56 AM
In a time long since, a time of repent, The Renaissance. In a quaint lonely town, sits a man with a frown. No job. No family. No crown. His luck had run out. Lost and alone. The streets were his home. His thoughts would solely consist of "why do we exist?" His only company to confide in was the vermin in the street. He longed for only one thing, the world to bow at his feet. They too should feel his secret fear. The dismal drear. His pain had made him sincere. He was better than the rest, allthose ones he detests, within their castles, so vain. Selfish and conceited. They couldn't care less about the peasents they mistreated. They were in their own world, it was a joyous one too. That castle, she stood just to do all she could to keep the peasents at bay, not the enemy away. They had no enemies in their filthy orgy. And in her, the castles every story, was just another chamber of Lucifer's Laboratory. The world is a sandbox for all the wretched sinners. They simply create what they want and make themselves the winners. But the true winner, he has nothing at all. Enduring the pain of waiting for that castle to fall. Through his good deeds, the rats and the fleas. He will have for what he pleads, through the eradication of disease. So, to the castle he proceeds, like an ominous breeze through the trees. "Stay back!" The Guards screamed as they were thrown to their knees. "Oh God, have mercy, please!" The castle, she gasped and then so imprisoned her breath, to the shallow confines of her fragile chest. I'm on the lamb but I ain't no sheep. I am Death. And you have always been the sod. So repulsive and so odd. You never even deserved the presence of God, and yet, I am here. Around your cradle I plod. Came on foot, without shod. How improper, how rude. However, they shall not mind the mud on my feet if there is blood on your sheet. Now! Feel death, not just mocking you. Not just stalking you but inside of you. Wriggle and writhe. Feel smaller beneath my might. Seizure in the Pestilence that is my scythe. Die, all of you.
tententent

Isolated Fury
02-28-2012, 12:29 PM
It's not horrible for an amateur. I could do without all of the blatant angst, though. A little structure would be nice, too. Breaks could add such an emphasis where the authors means it most.

It also makes me really want to shoot someone.

bighead384
02-28-2012, 05:16 PM
It also makes me really want to shoot someone.
Funny you should say that...

Jojan
02-28-2012, 05:48 PM
What is "peasents"?

BagOfShenanigans
02-28-2012, 06:27 PM
What is "peasents"?

The little monsters that horde pocket change behind you couch cushions.

bighead384
03-01-2012, 09:38 PM
This was actually written by a kid who shot up his school this week.

XYlophonetreeZ
03-01-2012, 09:59 PM
So what was the point of telling us that now? Were we all supposed to ooh and aah over how brilliant it was, and then you were gonna make us all feel disturbed for liking it?

If not, then that's cool. I thought it looked like something that was written by a kind of deranged person anyway. That's about the least shocking thing ever. Looks like something a school shooter would write.

bighead384
03-01-2012, 10:07 PM
So what was the point of telling us that now? Were we all supposed to ooh and aah over how brilliant it was, and then you were gonna make us all feel disturbed for liking it?
I wanted to laugh at it and see if anyone catches on that it's by a school shooter.

I imagine Henry Rollins reading this. But like, some of the lines are very unlike him, so it almost doesn't work.

Little_Miss_1565
03-01-2012, 11:01 PM
I imagine Henry Rollins reading this. But like, some of the lines are very unlike him, so it almost doesn't work.

Some of the lines meaning all of the lines?

Isolated Fury
03-02-2012, 10:21 AM
I wanted to laugh at it and see if anyone catches on that it's by a school shooter.
Nope. I totally didn't catch on. Not at all.

Little_Miss_1565
03-02-2012, 12:48 PM
Nope. I totally didn't catch on. Not at all.

Considering most teenagers having a difficult time have been given to write poetry with a lot of feelings such as this, I'm not sure what was supposed to tip anyone off that this particular person was a school shooter.

bighead384
03-02-2012, 12:51 PM
Just cause it was posted on various places on the internet.

Isolated Fury
03-02-2012, 01:28 PM
Considering most teenagers having a difficult time have been given to write poetry with a lot of feelings such as this, I'm not sure what was supposed to tip anyone off that this particular person was a school shooter.
Considering I said "it also makes me really want to shoot someone," I knew what he was referencing from the start. He's just too dense to catch onto sarcasm.


Just cause it was posted on various places on the internet.
I live in PA. The shooting was in Ohio. I've known about it for a while now. You're not witty.

bighead384
03-02-2012, 02:09 PM
Considering I said "it also makes me really want to shoot someone," I knew what he was referencing from the start. He's just too dense to catch onto sarcasm.


I live in PA. The shooting was in Ohio. I've known about it for a while now. You're not witty.
Too be honest, I considered that because of the level of potential coincidence involved, but your analysis almost seemed sincere for some reason.

I was sooooo proud of myself when I made this thread, and I had a lot of hope invested into it.

bighead384
03-02-2012, 02:38 PM
I have a personality disorder.

Baldwin
03-02-2012, 02:48 PM
People are still paying attention to school shooters? What is this, 1999?

bighead384
03-02-2012, 02:50 PM
Alright. I've been shot down and I admit defeat. Bad thread.

It is amazing though, that even a kid this young could see a fellow student as a main source of their anguish and hatred of the world.

Little_Miss_1565
03-02-2012, 03:32 PM
I have a personality disorder.

This is not news.


It is amazing though, that even a kid this young could see a fellow student as a main source of their anguish and hatred of the world.

Not really, considering it's been status quo for a lot of kids in high school for decades.

bighead384
03-02-2012, 03:39 PM
Care to disagree with me again in this thread?

Little_Miss_1565
03-02-2012, 03:48 PM
Oh, sorry, I thought that was what you were into.

bighead384
03-02-2012, 03:52 PM
Oh, sorry, I thought that was what you were into.
You're trying to please me like that? Wow, time to punch around the clown bbl.

Baldwin
03-05-2012, 05:50 AM
On the topic of faggy angst-ridden faggotry, I've always been partial to Totentanz. Have a quickly-translated favourite of mine, and feel free to call me a gothic fag for liking it.

You folk that look / Upon this portrait
Behold you now / All Mankind will Dance
See what you are / And your true nature
Meat unto worms / And nothing else
And how this mirrors / Ever in memory
How I lie here / Once crowned a King
To all mankind / I bear resemblance
As food for worms / Is your end too
Fall of Princes, 1554 (http://www.dodedans.com/Epaul20.htm)

Also, it came out before gothic faggotry was cool, so I'm indie as fuck.

Isolated Fury
03-05-2012, 06:20 AM
http://i1269.photobucket.com/albums/jj593/bahraindweller/TJ-Lane-has-been-identified-as-the-teenage-killer-who-shot-two-students-dead-at-Chardon-High-School-in-Ohio-and-left-another-three-injured.jpg
So goth.