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View Full Version : Surprisingly Psychological Strategies to Pick Up Chicks



bighead384
03-06-2012, 09:51 AM
As I'd assume is the case with most guys, I've noticed that there's a fairly well established and agreed upon set of guidelines to picking up girls in public places. A lot of these guidelines or tips are based around simple psychology and mind games.

Since human psychology is so complicated, I can never quite decide how valid I think these strategies are, and I'm quite curious to see what others think.

Whenever I hear someone explain these strategies, I always find myself thinking that they are exaggerated or unnecessary, and that one only needs to make a good first impression doing obvious, straightforward things. However, I've noticed that everyone who adheres to these advanced strategies has more success than me. I will definitely say I've noticed that the whole "just be yourself" strategy kind of puts you at a disadvantage, because it often doesn't give you the chance to stand out. And a lot of picking up girls is about standing out without appearing to be trying too hard to stand out.

Recently, some drunk italian guy went over all these mind games he plays when trying to pick up girls at bars. I was amazed because he had thought out everything from body language, to things like walking away from the girl to do something else for a bit before she walks away from you in order to keep her more curious. Another common thing I've heard is: make a good first impression, then be an asshole, because girls like that for some reason. Another, really smart and successful guy I know went out of his way to tell me that I don't walk around bars with enough swagger. I've always thought that I'm above that, and it makes you look like a tool, but again, despite what I would tend to logically think, I observe that it seems to work. Lastly, yet another guy who is successful with girls explained that the way I 'make jokes and laugh' doesn't quite work with girls, and that I need to be more subtle and more 'cool' about it. It's all really abstract stuff, and that's why I'm amazed that I've been hearing things like this ALL my life.

Perhaps you've heard some slightly different things, but I'm assuming that most of you understand what I mean when I'm describing these fairly psychological tactics that are often employed and stressed as necessary. So what do you think?

Baldwin
03-06-2012, 12:22 PM
Yeah, all that pre-planned manipulative bullshit works... on drunk, stupid bar-sluts with daddy issues. And if that's the type of woman you're trying to pick up, you'd find it easier, cheaper and safer to stick to mid-priced prostitutes.

If you want to make a connection with a woman with a shred of class, decency or personality, skip the peacocking faggotry.

Little_Miss_1565
03-06-2012, 01:01 PM
http://chzmemeanimals.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/advice-animals-memes-pickup-line-panda-fart.jpg

XYlophonetreeZ
03-06-2012, 01:39 PM
Yeah, all that pre-planned manipulative bullshit works... on drunk, stupid bar-sluts with daddy issues. And if that's the type of woman you're trying to pick up, you'd find it easier, cheaper and safer to stick to mid-priced prostitutes.

If you want to make a connection with a woman with a shred of class, decency or personality, skip the peacocking faggotry.
Generally agreed.

Seriously, man. You're talking about "picking up chicks." And then you're wondering why it doesn't work when you view it that way. Just reverse the scenario for a second- would you rather have a girl be sincere to you, or would you rather spend time with some insecure girl who's out on the prowl to "pick up guys" and doesn't really care who she comes up with as long as he's hawtt and socially acceptable?

This is kind of similar to the happiness thread. You seem to be looking at women and happiness in the same way: as if they were Pokémon. Like they're something that you have to hunt down and catch and collect via some impeccable strategy.

Finally, you should ask yourself: why are you even in a bar? If your only answer is "to pick up chicks," then that explains a lot. You should be going to bars to enjoy yourself with your friends, and secondarily to meet people. I'm not pretending that I'm above approaching and flirting with women who interest me, but you can't look desperate. Having a few drinks can help relax you a bit, but you'll never be truly relaxed if your primary concern is just picking up chicks.

bighead384
03-06-2012, 02:42 PM
I agree with some of the general points you made, but you kind of assigned your own connotation to "picking up chicks". I just mean meeting girls in general. And I don't really think it matters much what your mentality is when you go to a bar. I mean, you're inevitably going to at least consider trying to talk to someone new regardless.

Llamas
03-06-2012, 02:43 PM
I will definitely say I've noticed that the whole "just be yourself" strategy kind of puts you at a disadvantage, because it often doesn't give you the chance to stand out. And a lot of picking up girls is about standing out without appearing to be trying too hard to stand out.

...and bighead finally admits that his natural personality is about as interesting and desirable as a stick in the mud.

bighead384
03-06-2012, 02:49 PM
...and bighead finally admits that his natural personality is about as interesting and desirable as a stick in the mud.
Well there's different dynamics to talking to someone in a public place like a bar. Especially when you're trying to get to know someone for the first time. It's not really the best time to judge how interesting someone is.

Llamas
03-06-2012, 03:24 PM
I agree with some of the general points you made, but you kind of assigned your own connotation to "picking up chicks". I just mean meeting girls in general. And I don't really think it matters much what your mentality is when you go to a bar. I mean, you're inevitably going to at least consider trying to talk to someone new regardless.

I dunno, I tend to go to the bars to hang out with my friends, have some beers, maybe dance to some music. I often go to the bar without having a conversation with a new person, and I never try to pick someone up by pretending to be someone I'm not to impress them. Losers generally do that, and anyone with half a brain can pick up on people who do it. It's usually super obvious an obnoxious.


Well there's different dynamics to talking to someone in a public place like a bar. Especially when you're trying to get to know someone for the first time. It's not really the best time to judge how interesting someone is.
While I've drunkenly gotten into conversation with the odd bar stranger, I can safely say that I've never made a new friend at the bar. Really a strange place to meet people. I'd rather meet new friends in a place where we have something in common besides drinking.

Little_Miss_1565
03-06-2012, 03:26 PM
Well there's different dynamics to talking to someone in a public place like a bar. Especially when you're trying to get to know someone for the first time. It's not really the best time to judge how interesting someone is.

It's actually a great time to judge how interesting someone is. I've had some of my favorite conversations with total strangers in bars, and met some really amazing friends at parties in bars. If someone is cool, smart, interesting, etc within a few minutes of conversation, chances are excellent that they are cool, smart, and interesting. Same if the conversation isn't good.

If you're not trying to "pick up chicks," why are you at all concerned with dudes who read The Game for the first time and are trying to make it work? I've had great times in bars completely destroying dudes who think they can insult me and then have me hand them my underwear to save them the trouble of removing them from me.

Llamas
03-06-2012, 03:32 PM
If you're not trying to "pick up chicks," why are you at all concerned with dudes who read The Game for the first time and are trying to make it work? I've had great times in bars completely destroying dudes who think they can insult me and then have me hand them my underwear to save them the trouble of removing them from me.

Entry-level negging is hilarious. Guys trying to make "The Game" work are usually the best part of being hit on at a bar. I bet it worked a bit when it was new, but I think most girls are wise on it now.

KickHimWhenHe'sDown
03-06-2012, 05:38 PM
If you want a very nice (and extremely pretty in most cases) girl, go to church. :)



(I will not be involved in any arguments that stem off of this. Church girls are pretty and nice, that's all I have to say.)

Llamas
03-06-2012, 05:46 PM
If you want a very nice (and extremely pretty in most cases) girl, go to church. :)



(I will not be involved in any arguments that stem off of this. Church girls are pretty and nice, that's all I have to say.)

Man, in some ways, you're kinda like bighead.

And I doubt I'd have much luck with church girls :cool:

KickHimWhenHe'sDown
03-06-2012, 05:48 PM
And I doubt I'd have much luck with church girls :cool:

Yeah I guess not. I don't think you'd like them much anyways.

yarock
03-06-2012, 05:49 PM
http://desmond.imageshack.us/Himg89/scaled.php?server=89&filename=vlcsnap234943sg1.png&res=medium

Llamas
03-06-2012, 05:59 PM
Yeah I guess not. I don't think you'd like them much anyways.

I was entirely kidding. One of my friends is pansexual and a devout catholic. *And* I think she's hot shit. ;) Plus I have quite a few church-going friends.

In all honesty (as a former church-goer), I don't really think going to church increases nor decreases the likeliness of attractiveness.

yarock
03-06-2012, 06:10 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=udRQ3SF5taE

KickHimWhenHe'sDown
03-06-2012, 06:31 PM
I was entirely kidding. One of my friends is pansexual and a devout catholic. *And* I think she's hot shit. ;) Plus I have quite a few church-going friends.

In all honesty (as a former church-goer), I don't really think going to church increases nor decreases the likeliness of attractiveness.

Okay fair enough. For physical attractiveness, I think I'm just lucky for the church I go to. I don't think there are a lot of physically attractive females because it's a church, I think they just all happened to choose the same church.

WebDudette
03-06-2012, 11:57 PM
While I think all of that Game shit is ridiculous and pathetic, the book 'The Game*' was a pretty funny read. It's like 'Do they Serve Beer in Hell' but less shitty and more interesting from an outside point of view. In retrospect though, I feel like my time would have been much better spent reading other books, oh well.

I pretty much agree with everything Baldwin said. If you're going to use it to get girls, you're going to end up with girls who are willing to hook up with guys who use the Game to get girls.

As for going to church to find girls, that seems incredibly dishonest as well. Maybe even more so, haha. I've had friends who's significant others insisted that they go to church with them or they'd end the relationship. That's always been a deal breaker for me, like there are sacrifices I'm willing to make, but that's telling someone to change who they are on a fundamental level.

*Not the one with all the rules and telling you how to do the game, I never read that one. The one that begins with Niel Strauss doing an article on pick up artists, that turns into him becoming a pick up artists, and eventually writing an entire book on how shitty these people can be and how you should never use the Game to find a girl you want to be with, just girls you want to fuck.

Little_Miss_1565
03-07-2012, 12:25 AM
Pilz, you have no idea how many dudes think that book was the book about the rules of the Game. I saw one dude fucking *committing passages of it to memory* on the subway once. Easily one of the most frightening things I've ever seen on the subway.

Baldwin
03-07-2012, 06:15 AM
If you want a very nice (and extremely pretty in most cases) girl, go to church.

What are some good pickup lines for scoring chicks at church? And during what part of the services is it appropriate for me to make my move? Also, is any of this denomination-specific, and if so, which religious denomination should I be steady macking on?

Llamas
03-07-2012, 08:12 AM
What are some good pickup lines for scoring chicks at church? And during what part of the services is it appropriate for me to make my move? Also, is any of this denomination-specific, and if so, which religious denomination should I be steady macking on?

-Now I know why Solomon had 700 wives... because he never met you.
-Nice bible!
-I would like to "pray" with you.
-God told me to come talk to you!
-My friend told me to bang you. I think you know him. His name is Jesus.
-Is it a sin that I get a boner every time I look at you?
-What's your name and number so I can add you to my "prayer" list?
-Do you need prayer? because I am certainly willing to lay hands on you.

And if you really wanna step it up, try some Christian negging:
-You are perfect, except with all the sin.
-You are so unblemished that I would sacrifice you.
-Look, you're nearly 22. Most christians are 3 years into marriage by now... just settle for me.

Get your mack on during the part where everyone is praying and begging for forgiveness of their sins. Not only is that a great time to comfort those poor women, but you can find out some of their darkest secrets if you play your cards right, and use them to your advantage.

The more evangelical a girl is, the higher the likeliness that she plays super sweet and nice on the streets, but a total freak in bed. Catholic women are usually too confident and independent.

Little_Miss_1565
03-07-2012, 10:13 AM
What are some good pickup lines for scoring chicks at church? And during what part of the services is it appropriate for me to make my move? Also, is any of this denomination-specific, and if so, which religious denomination should I be steady macking on?

"Why do all the girls love Jesus so much? Because he was hung like this: [holds arms apart]"

KickHimWhenHe'sDown
03-07-2012, 05:25 PM
What are some good pickup lines for scoring chicks at church? And during what part of the services is it appropriate for me to make my move? Also, is any of this denomination-specific, and if so, which religious denomination should I be steady macking on?

I now regret saying that. I don't think church is a great place to go if your primary objective is to get a wife/girlfriend/bed buddy.


-Now I know why Solomon had 700 wives... because he never met you.
-Nice bible!
-I would like to "pray" with you.
-God told me to come talk to you!
-My friend told me to bang you. I think you know him. His name is Jesus.
-Is it a sin that I get a boner every time I look at you?
-What's your name and number so I can add you to my "prayer" list?
^I might consider that one^
-Do you need prayer? because I am certainly willing to lay hands on you.

And if you really wanna step it up, try some Christian negging:
-You are perfect, except with all the sin.
-You are so unblemished that I would sacrifice you.
-Look, you're nearly 22. Most christians are 3 years into marriage by now... just settle for me.



"Why do all the girls love Jesus so much? Because he was hung like this: [holds arms apart]"

I really feel like I shouldn't have burst out laughing, but those were hilarious. I don't think they'd work.

I guess church isn't necessarily a great place to "pick up chicks" especially with those pick-up lines.

Llamas
03-07-2012, 06:25 PM
On a serious (and frankly, sad) note, I've seen quite a few evangelical Christian girls get swept up by a non-religious man who lead her to believe she's brought them to Jesus. Happened to my mom and to one of my best friends in the Czech Republic, among others. Evangelicals live for bringing people to their god, and they seem to think that god brought them together so that they could "save" those men... the guys read a few Christian books recommended by the girl, even buy their own bible and start going to church... after the wedding, the truth comes out.

That shit bothers me way more than the Game and all that... it's not just hooking up, it's manipulating into marriage. Ultra shady. And my feelings toward these women is a mix of pity and frustration with how incredibly naive they are.

bighead384
03-08-2012, 09:11 AM
Well, in my experience, not everyone who has a few methods that they rely on is as over-the-top as you guys are making it sound. I guess for some reason I've had a different experience.

Baldwin
03-08-2012, 09:25 AM
That's an interesting point, llamas.

So where would be the best place to meet evangelical girls if I'm pretending to be a lost soul in need of Jesus? Do those sorts of churches fund much in the way of charities and community outreach programs? Do you think that might be the best way to proceed? Just to be up front with you, I have no ethical qualms with pretending to be a disabled to manipulate women into a legally non-binding marriage.

Little_Miss_1565
03-08-2012, 11:30 AM
Well, in my experience, not everyone who has a few methods that they rely on is as over-the-top as you guys are making it sound. I guess for some reason I've had a different experience.

Wait, how many Game-ing douchebags have you gone home with?

KickHimWhenHe'sDown
03-08-2012, 06:26 PM
On a serious (and frankly, sad) note, I've seen quite a few evangelical Christian girls get swept up by a non-religious man who lead her to believe she's brought them to Jesus. Happened to my mom and to one of my best friends in the Czech Republic, among others. Evangelicals live for bringing people to their god, and they seem to think that god brought them together so that they could "save" those men... the guys read a few Christian books recommended by the girl, even buy their own bible and start going to church... after the wedding, the truth comes out.

That shit bothers me way more than the Game and all that... it's not just hooking up, it's manipulating into marriage. Ultra shady. And my feelings toward these women is a mix of pity and frustration with how incredibly naive they are.
That is sad. Sometimes people just don't spend enough time thinking about who they're gonna marry. That'd be a tough situation to be in.


I have no ethical qualms with pretending to be a disabled to manipulate women into a legally non-binding marriage.
That would make a good signature extension. I don't want to have an over obnoxious signature though...

bighead384
03-08-2012, 06:30 PM
Wait, how many Game-ing douchebags have you gone home with?
Uh, I'm guessing this is some sort of gay joke? I'm really not sure what the hell you're talking about or where this came from.

Llamas
03-08-2012, 06:37 PM
Uh, I'm guessing this is some sort of gay joke? I'm really not sure what the hell you're talking about or where this came from.

Umm.


Well, in my experience, not everyone who has a few methods that they rely on is as over-the-top as you guys are making it sound. I guess for some reason I've had a different experience.

Did you read what you posted? In your experience, guys who use these methods to get one-night stands aren't as over-the-top? You just said you have experience with these guys. How do you not get it?

bighead384
03-08-2012, 06:46 PM
I get it...it's just so lame that I almost thought I was missing something.

KickHimWhenHe'sDown
03-08-2012, 06:53 PM
I thought it was funny....

bighead384
03-08-2012, 07:21 PM
I thought it was funny....

Maybe it's because I pretty much don't care for 1565, but I thought it was way too much of a stretch. That's why I was confused. It's not like I said I had experience with guys or something. To be honest, even if said that, it still would be pretty lame.

1565 has been aggressive with me a few times in the past few days. Lol, maybe someone IRL said or did something to reinforce the idea that she's a big city liberal stereotype recently and she's pissed and coming back here to take it out on me.

KickHimWhenHe'sDown
03-08-2012, 07:28 PM
Maybe it seemed like a stretch for you because you knew what you were trying to say.

bighead384
03-08-2012, 07:32 PM
Maybe it seemed like a stretch for you because you knew what you were trying to say.

Re-reading what I wrote actually seems to dispel this idea if anything.

Lord Phidias
03-08-2012, 11:57 PM
Why can't we all be friends?? Bighead, 1565?

XYlophonetreeZ
03-09-2012, 12:04 AM
1565 has been aggressive with me a few times in the past few days. Lol, maybe someone IRL said or did something to reinforce the idea that she's a big city liberal stereotype recently and she's pissed and coming back here to take it out on me.
Saying stuff like this has always been extremely productive for you in the past. Let's try it again and remember those good times.

WebDudette
03-09-2012, 06:12 AM
http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a145/SystemSloth/pickup_artist.png

obligatory 0r4ng3 webcomic post.

Isolated Fury
03-09-2012, 07:32 AM
Uh, I'm guessing this is some sort of gay joke? I'm really not sure what the hell you're talking about or where this came from.
It's a little bit of lulz, biggie. Calm down. You can quit chargin' yo fireball.

EDIT: Wow. How did I not see the whole next page? Eh. I won't delete it, but the post is pretty obsolete now.

Little_Miss_1565
03-09-2012, 12:01 PM
Maybe it's because I pretty much don't care for 1565, but I thought it was way too much of a stretch. That's why I was confused. It's not like I said I had experience with guys or something. To be honest, even if said that, it still would be pretty lame.

1565 has been aggressive with me a few times in the past few days. Lol, maybe someone IRL said or did something to reinforce the idea that she's a big city liberal stereotype recently and she's pissed and coming back here to take it out on me.

It was a joke. If you can't take a few jokey swipes coming back your way, I suggest you don't try stepping to me or anyone in the first place.

bighead384
03-09-2012, 12:13 PM
It was a joke. If you can't take a few jokey swipes coming back your way, I suggest you don't try stepping to me or anyone in the first place.
"stepping to you". LOL. Your joke sucked. That was the only problem I had.

mrconeman
03-11-2012, 06:44 PM
http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/pickup_artist.png

edit: Totally beaten by Pilz.

Still though, panel 3, line 1, good rule.

AllIn All It's Not So Bad
03-11-2012, 06:51 PM
1565 has been aggressive with me a few times in the past few days. Lol, maybe someone IRL said or did something to reinforce the idea that she's a big city liberal stereotype recently and she's pissed and coming back here to take it out on me.

Nigga, why can't you just lay off her dick? I'm not very fond of her either but I'm not constantly harassing her and trying to find opportunities to rip her to shreds. It gets on my never when you just can't stop trying to rip a new one into anyone who doesn't like you.


God.Damn.

mrconeman
03-11-2012, 07:01 PM
it gets on my never when you just can't stop trying to rip a new one into anyone who doesn't like you.

.

I don't even think it's that, like, if he was even in any way good at doing it, it wouldn't bother me, and I suspect, everyone else, so much. If nothing else it would be entertaining, and for the most part we'd probably leave it between him and whoever he's pretending not to be obsessed with that week. He's horrifically bad at what he tries to do.

Llamas
03-11-2012, 07:06 PM
I don't even think it's that, like, if he was even in any way good at doing it, it wouldn't bother me, and I suspect, everyone else, so much. If nothing else it would be entertaining, and for the most part we'd probably leave it between him and whoever he's pretending not to be obsessed with that week. He's horrifically bad at what he tries to do.

Plus his target never changes. If he went after everyone who doesn't like him, it might at least be a bit less boring. But it's always. the. same. person.

Isolated Fury
03-11-2012, 07:39 PM
Eh. He got pissy with me for a couple posts. And you can tell he likes to clash with llamas, too. But yeah, this is a little different. It's not so much that he has a problem with her. It's more like a sick, negative infatuation.

For Real
03-11-2012, 10:17 PM
Jeesh!!

You DO know that you have just GIVEN out the very BEST pointers to picking up poor, innocent, unsuspecting girls, to a bunch of punkish guys who hang out at a PUNK rock board, and who may otherwise never EVER have this information at their disposal to practice out in the real world with very real results???!!!???

Smooth.

Girls, STAY AWAY FROM BARS!!!

For Real
03-11-2012, 10:39 PM
...and bighead finally admits that his natural personality is about as interesting and desirable as a stick in the mud.

Now THAT is funny, LMAO! :D

bighead384
03-11-2012, 11:20 PM
I've read the recent posts that say negative things about me.