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View Full Version : Hey guys, I need advice



Llamas
03-08-2012, 03:04 PM
I know how to get your typical Christian girl, but I've never been up against a girl of such a highly-devoted caliber. You see, first you've got the fact that I've never met her. Then you've got the fact that I'm a woman and she probably thinks she hates The Gays (but let's be real; she's 18. If she goes to college, it'll be all over after a couple weeks in the dorms with her roommate).

She is in this video, and I am in love. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=U7pv7sO5Gng

Help? I wanna make this happen before it's too late and she marries some Christian dude and starts popping out dozens of babies.

Jojan
03-08-2012, 05:21 PM
Show her facts and teach her about life.

bighead384
03-08-2012, 05:22 PM
Prussian Blue is back!

Baldwin
03-08-2012, 05:39 PM
First, you befriend her based on your "mutual" mission to bring teh gays back to Jesus. Then, you steer the conversation around to how all teh gays just think you're intolerant fundies and don't know where they're coming from. Then, you introduce the idea that teh gays would listen to you and find Jesus if you could relate to them better... like by being a former homosexual.

Then you give your proposition. "Do you want to have like, a fake lesbian relationship that we can totally get deprogrammed from, so that the gays will listen to us and we can save more souls for Jesus"

If she actively despises on the gays instead of wanting to save them, rape is probably your only option. Rohypnol gets all the press as the daterape drug of choice, but for my money, you can't do better than a Nitrazepam/Olanzepine cocktail.

KickHimWhenHe'sDown
03-08-2012, 06:13 PM
^ You should probably just skip all that and rape her.

*I am not endorsing rape, even though it really sounded like I just did

Defender
03-08-2012, 11:58 PM
A sudden kiss would be a good shot(on the cheek for the beginning)! This case needs a risk. All or nothing.

Isolated Fury
03-09-2012, 06:25 AM
She's wet for Santorum, huh? Hmm... You're probably fucked. Not to offend - but if she's THAT balls out crazy about Rick Santorum, she would probably try to tie your to a post and burn you alive the minute you hinted at any sort of homosexual activity.

Plus, you guys don't seem to have a common ground for important issues. You're super-duper girly rights. She supports Santorum. He feels that women have "their place." I don't think we've ever touched on this, but you seem like a pro-choicer. As a Santorum supporter, she probably touches herself at night thinking about shutting down abortion clinics. I wouldn't waste my time.

Isolated Fury
03-09-2012, 07:48 AM
for one i have never understood gays. i mean why would i be in love with a female.. its too ridiculous to my mind. karla
Duh. Robots can't comprehend emotions - let alone an emotion as powerful as love. Fuck.

Llamas
03-09-2012, 09:38 AM
First, you befriend her based on your "mutual" mission to bring teh gays back to Jesus. Then, you steer the conversation around to how all teh gays just think you're intolerant fundies and don't know where they're coming from. Then, you introduce the idea that teh gays would listen to you and find Jesus if you could relate to them better... like by being a former homosexual.

Then you give your proposition. "Do you want to have like, a fake lesbian relationship that we can totally get deprogrammed from, so that the gays will listen to us and we can save more souls for Jesus"

If she actively despises on the gays instead of wanting to save them, rape is probably your only option. Rohypnol gets all the press as the daterape drug of choice, but for my money, you can't do better than a Nitrazepam/Olanzepine cocktail.


^ You should probably just skip all that and rape her.

*I am not endorsing rape, even though it really sounded like I just did

Hmm, interesting... do either of you have any personal anecdotes you could share for my benefit? I'm trying to decide now which of these two approaches is better... I was able to get a prescription for Nitrazepam due to my sleep disorder, but I wanna make sure this is the best approach first.

For Real
03-11-2012, 10:37 PM
Oh shite! Are y'all for real? Am I really reading about the plotting of using drugs on an unsuspecting Christian girl in order to rape her because you like her soooo much?

hmmm...

You DO know that undercover cops patrol message boards just like this one, don't you? jeeezz.

mrconeman
03-12-2012, 02:26 AM
Apparently so do you, Christian Girl.

Baldwin
03-12-2012, 08:38 AM
Yeah, we're for real. We rape people all the time. We don't even care what time it is. Like, five o' clock? Time to go rape some fine bitches.

personal_loans_1
03-12-2012, 11:49 AM
Still better love story than Twilight! meh.

mrconeman
03-12-2012, 11:53 AM
Sometimes when we get bored we just rape each other. My favourite is the blasphemous kind. Blasphemy and rape, mmmm.

Baldwin
03-12-2012, 12:16 PM
You guys don't wanna know how I make prep girls cry.

Llamas
03-12-2012, 02:38 PM
Blasphemy and rape, mmmm.

Does a finer combination exist?

mrconeman
03-12-2012, 04:32 PM
abortion/salt.

Rooster
03-13-2012, 06:18 AM
Oh shite! Are y'all for real? Am I really reading about the plotting of using drugs on an unsuspecting Christian girl in order to rape her because you like her soooo much?

hmmm...

You DO know that undercover cops patrol message boards just like this one, don't you? jeeezz.

http://static.fjcdn.com/comments/Not+sure+if+trolling+or+stupid+_d6683a5bd769e61cdd eb674d404dbab8.jpg


Llamas, forget about the other advices and just make her a wonderful blowjob on the clitoris.

KickHimWhenHe'sDown
03-14-2012, 05:14 PM
Yeah, we're for real. We rape people all the time. We don't even care what time it is. Like, five o' clock? Time to go rape some fine bitches.
That is vaguely familiar. Is that from the 2009 or 2010 movie Predators?