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View Full Version : Official Eulogy Thread for JohnnyNemesis



XYlophonetreeZ
03-22-2012, 12:30 PM
My dear friends of the BBS, it is with a heavy heart I inform you that our friend JohnnyNemesis is no longer with us. I'm sure that like me, you will all always remember him as a uniting force on the BBS. A beacon of reason, charm, congeniality, and total sexual dominance. One who could simultaneously be 1337 yet a n00b, nice yet an asshole, attractive yet not good-looking, Latino yet not fluent in Latin, and, most perplexing of all, a Jets fan and yet, alive.

Unfortunately that last one is no longer possible. Though I have yet to hear any official reports, there is mathematically no fucking way that JohnnyNemesis did not kill himself given the events of the past day.


Every Tim Tebow pass play looks like a punter trying to execute a sneaky fake punt by lobbing the ball and it's painful to watch.


I tears my heart up. I really wanted Sanchez to be great. He's such a good guy and wants it so bad, but... he just can't cut it. He's sadly probably the second worst starting QB in the NFL, only beating Tebow.


I wouldn't go that far, but he's pretty fucking terrible.

We'll miss you, Riquito. No moar hope 4 better dayz :(:(:(
http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y33/HeadAroundU/P8260004.jpg



Penis.

Isolated Fury
03-22-2012, 01:32 PM
I hereby nominate myself to be a pall-bearer.

Omni
03-22-2012, 02:22 PM
Oh, I had no idea he was a Jets fan.

If you ARE still alive, I'm really fucking sorry, man. It's just important that you don't blame yourself for this, and for you to know that there is nothing you can do or could have done about it. Except kill yourself.

Llamas
03-22-2012, 02:55 PM
Nah, he's already ordered his Tebow Jets jersey. He's pretty good at flip-flopping like that. Dude should be a politician.

Omni
03-22-2012, 03:49 PM
JohnnyKerry?

XYlophonetreeZ
03-22-2012, 04:08 PM
Nah, he's already ordered his Tebow Jets jersey. He's pretty good at flip-flopping like that. Dude should be a politician.
Naw, he's fuckin' dead. He may flip-flop most of the time, except this time I'm quite certain that the initial depression upon hearing this news reached suicide phase before he could reach the stages of "bargaining" and "acceptance."

On the bright side, I'm sure the number of white men getting laid tonight will increase by at least a dozen.

Llamas
03-22-2012, 04:20 PM
Naw, he's fuckin' dead. He may flip-flop most of the time, except this time I'm quite certain that the initial depression upon hearing this news reached suicide phase before he could reach the stages of "bargaining" and "acceptance."

On the bright side, I'm sure the number of white men getting laid tonight will increase by at least a dozen.

I dunno, his reaction on Facebook was:

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

Uh, remember those horrible things I always said about Tebow? Just ignore that now :P"

i has the inside skoop on JN flip-floppin'.

XYlophonetreeZ
03-22-2012, 04:27 PM
Yeah, well, I'm just gonna pretend he's dead to keep this thread alive. Funerals can be pretty fun. Open fucking bar. And if the horse fucking thread has taught me anything it's that e-funerals are fun too.

That, plus, if someone didn't die as a direct result of Tebow joining their team, I'd be strangely taken aback.

Isolated Fury
03-22-2012, 04:29 PM
I dunno, his reaction on Facebook was...
This is... groundbreaking.

I don't know why, but I never put two and two together and realized BBSers could also be on Facebook.

Omni
03-22-2012, 04:33 PM
Yeah, well, I'm just gonna pretend he's dead to keep this thread alive. Funerals can be pretty fun. Open fucking bar. And if the horse fucking thread has taught me anything it's that e-funerals are fun too.

Johnny would have wanted it that way. Do it for Johnny.

Llamas
03-22-2012, 04:39 PM
This is... groundbreaking.

I don't know why, but I never put two and two together and realized BBSers could also be on Facebook.

Most of the bbs has drifted there by now. I think that's part of why the bbs itself has died as much as it has. Sometimes I get into long-winded discussions with coneman and paint_it_black there, and it's just like the bbs but better because there's no idiots.

Isolated Fury
03-22-2012, 04:42 PM
Most of the bbs has drifted there by now. I think that's part of why the bbs itself has died as much as it has. Sometimes I get into long-winded discussions with coneman and paint_it_black there, and it's just like the bbs but better because there's no idiots.
That's awesome. Well, not the slow BBS death. But the fact that old BBS members exist elsewhere is amazing.

What's not amazing is that I never learned anyone's last names, so looking anyone up would be a bust. Hahaha

Llamas
03-22-2012, 04:53 PM
I think I just PMed ya... not sure if it was successful...

Bormaley
03-22-2012, 05:07 PM
Why I must buy expensive pills while I can get generics differin gel (http://lebrisa.com) on line with delivery to my place and for considerably lower price. I am ready to accept the situation that customer support sometimes can be dull when I want to trace my order plus buy lamisil (http://kinkyboi.com/)

Omni
03-22-2012, 05:15 PM
Look, everyone. His death has proven that even machines are capable of being taught to feel emotions. To cry, to become human, to hate Tim Tebow.


Johnny's passing (a skill Tebow could desperately learn) has served a grand purpose here.

mrconeman
03-22-2012, 06:37 PM
I dunno guys, Thibault is pretty cool.

amirite

XYlophonetreeZ
03-22-2012, 10:01 PM
Johnny's passing (a skill Tebow could desperately learn) has served a grand purpose here.I lol'd.


I dunno guys, Thibault is pretty cool.

amirite
I see what you did there. But I'll be damned if it didn't take me way too damn long to get that.


As an aside, I just got an iPhone. I actually checked the BBS from my phone for the first time ever when I was waiting for my friend in a parking lot, just to see how my old threadski was doing.

At that exact moment, "Living in Chaos" came on shuffle.

Isolated Fury
03-23-2012, 06:03 AM
As an aside, I just got an iPhone. I actually checked the BBS from my phone for the first time ever when I was waiting for my friend in a parking lot, just to see how my old threadski was doing.
I do this when I'm feeling too lazy to walk the nine steps to my computer. Haha

XYlophonetreeZ
03-23-2012, 09:47 PM
So the Tebow deal is "delayed." That would suck if he offed himself for nothing.

For selfish reasons, I hope he's really dead. I really don't want to become known as "That guy who keeps making premature death threads for ethnic-looking dudes."

JohnnyNemesis
03-24-2012, 11:29 AM
Holy SHIT I used to be skinny. TOO fucking skinny. WHOALY FUCK. Jesus.

Oh, and:

less talk, more death

JohnnyNemesis
03-24-2012, 11:30 AM
ps. If anything woulda killed me, it was Favre joining the Jets.

JohnnyNemesis
03-24-2012, 11:37 AM
Oh, I had no idea he was a Jets fan.

If you ARE still alive, I'm really fucking sorry, man. It's just important that you don't blame yourself for this, and for you to know that there is nothing you can do or could have done about it. Except kill yourself.

This sounds like what my Aunt said to me at Christmas...and I'm not even joking.

Lizardus
03-24-2012, 12:05 PM
I'm glad I made that plaster mold of his torso and later a bronze cast of it.

Isolated Fury
03-24-2012, 02:20 PM
I'm glad I made that plaster mold of his torso and later a bronze cast of it.
Could I possibly borrow that? My bed feels too empty at night.