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calichix
03-27-2012, 06:40 PM
Do you think being a wanderer is the result of some deep burried childhood fuckery or a hereditary gypsy thing, or a natural inclination we feel as roving pack animals that is socialized out of some people, or what?

bighead384
03-27-2012, 07:49 PM
This is a pretty complicated issue to just be putting it out there with no detailed ideas of your own.

People often wander from place to place because they get bored and want a change of scenery. Obviously, nomads wandered out of necessity.

XYlophonetreeZ
03-27-2012, 08:24 PM
Do you think being a wanderer is the result of some deep burried childhood fuckery or a hereditary gypsy thing, or a natural inclination we feel as roving pack animals that is socialized out of some people, or what?
I don't really know, but I'm nomadic as fuck. (http://offspring.com/forums/showthread.php?t=45563) It's interesting to think of why that is, but I'm pretty much an out-of-the-closet nomad now. It used to really bother me and I felt guiltily immature for it. People my age are buying houses. Big, beautiful houses. I can't think of anything more depressing in the world than buying a house. It means you've literally settled! Given up on exploring! Surrendered tons and tons of money to stagnancy! At least that's my gut reaction to it.

Now, I just look at wandering and living ungrounded and on my own schedule as simply something I can do that others can't. It was probably the most important personal breakthrough I've had in the last 5 years or so.

(Not to make this thread about me, but because it's vaguely relevant, yes, I'm going on that trip!)

Isolated Fury
03-27-2012, 10:32 PM
People my age are buying houses. Big, beautiful houses. I can't think of anything more depressing in the world than buying a house. It means you've literally settled! Given up on exploring! Surrendered tons and tons of money to stagnancy! At least that's my gut reaction to it.
I think it all depends on where you are with your life. I have a family and a career now. Buying a house was really just the next logical step for me. If I still hadn't done those two things, I would have never bought a house.

Llamas
03-28-2012, 04:32 AM
As a major wanderer myself (I've lived in four different countries by now), I usually tend to think this is a natural thing that is socialized out of people - we're taught from a young age that we're supposed to get a career, fall in love, get married, buy a house, and have kids. And that is pretty much life. I personally find that depressing, because I see all these people who already have all that... and most of them have this, "Now what?" feel about them.

But then people ask me all the time, "Don't you miss your family?" "Are you going home for Christmas?" (I've only gone back once in the last 2.5 years) and other such questions... they tell me I'm brave and that they can't imagine leaving everything behind. And then I start to question myself. I wonder if there's something "wrong" with me, if maybe I'm running away from something and don't even realize it?

XYlophonetreeZ
03-28-2012, 09:43 AM
I think it all depends on where you are with your life. I have a family and a career now. Buying a house was really just the next logical step for me. If I still hadn't done those two things, I would have never bought a house.
Oh yeah, of course it depends on the individual. I'm glad that some people settle and have families because of that being, you know, the cornerstone of civilization and stuff. Diff'rent strokes for diff'rent mothafuckaz!

AllIn All It's Not So Bad
03-28-2012, 01:41 PM
we're taught from a young age that we're supposed to get a career, fall in love, get married, buy a house, and have kids. And that is pretty much life. I personally find that depressing, because I see all these people who already have all that... and most of them have this, "Now what?" feel about them.

THIS!
Oh my fucking god

killer_queen
03-29-2012, 11:11 AM
I'm the last person who would have a nomadic life. I don't like taking risks, I hate feeling not settled enough. Especially creating a new social circle is the worst part of moving, I hate meeting new people, spending months to get to know them. And I have a terrible sense of direction, it takes me even years to learn just my neighborhood. I'm also very sentimental about my stuff, new furniture makes me uneasy. So I don't understand people who are not afraid of doing these things more than once in a few years. I just can't wait to get a steady job, buy a house with a garden and two dogs. And a cat.

Defender
03-30-2012, 12:30 AM
Especially creating a new social circle is the worst part of moving

Yup, that's a big truth! This is the only part that prevents me from moving.

Llamas
03-30-2012, 05:26 AM
Re: Social circle.

This has been a very interesting aspect of my nomadic life. When I was living in Austria, I had zero problem making new friends - that was aided by my being an international student and making friends in my language class and living in a sort of "student home". When I moved to Czech, I had THE hardest time making friends, and I didn't realize why that was until I left Czech. I thought something had changed in me, because as a teacher, it wasn't like I wasn't meeting people. I lived there two years, and only have a small handful of people I keep in touch with and plan on visiting (like 5 people total). But then I moved to Slovenia, and after only 3 months, I had a dozen friends or so. What's the difference? I'll tell you.

If you move abroad, research the customs and the culture. Make sure you go somewhere not only where there are a lot of foreigners, but also where the locals don't ostracize the foreigners. Learn about the people where you go; I can't stress that enough. Czechs were very closed off. They have their friends from childhood, and their family - and that's enough for them. There's very little interest in making *new* friends for most people. The city I lived in had quite few foreigners, but even in Prague, I know that foreigners kinda live in their own areas and don't really interact often with Czechs. However, in Slovenia, it's such a mixed country to begin with that you'll find foreigners (Serbs, Croats, Italians, Austrians, etc...) everywhere you go. When I moved here, I immediately found this social network, www.internations.org. It's for expatriates who've moved abroad and want to meet other foreigners living near them. I recommend moving somewhere that has this program. Not only is it a good way to meet people, but the fact that a city HAS this program says a lot about the people there.

If you're cool with networking, though, and move somewhere with a program like that, making new friends is easy peasy. I've been living here 8 months, and every Friday night I play hacky sack with a group of roughly 10 friends, and on Sundays I play pool with another group of friends. And it didn't take me much time at all to make these friends; I started going to hacky sack in November, and met most of these friends in September or October. I'd say that the hardest part is actually missing your friends back home - the friends you've known for years and years... it's hard to stay in touch that's not shallow and boring. But if you stay in the EU, it'll be easy enough to go visit. It's rare that I get to go back to visit my friends in MN and WI.

Edit: Just thought I'd throw in - if you live somewhere and only get to know foreigners, don't make many local friends, your attitude toward where you live will probably become very negative. Foreigners like to complain about where they live because it's common ground that all foreigners can talk about - it's like going out with coworkers and just talking about work all night. It's better to also make local friends, because not only will they be less interested in complaining about this (or hearing you complain about it), but you'll have friends from there and be able to say you like/are friends with people there and are then less likely to make lump statements when you encounter people you're not keen on. I say all this not only from my own experience, but from that of many friends of mine who live or have lived abroad.

Llamas
03-30-2012, 04:13 PM
I just realized I wrote my last post thinking this was Alison's thread... it was directed at her. Doesn't really belong here. Oh, well.

T-6005
04-06-2012, 10:14 PM
It's a state of mind.

Like any state of mind, it can come upon you suddenly, full of promise and the promise of a faraway land. It can also be learned - even taught. Wanderlust also reflects on your current surroundings, thought not always in a particularly negative way.

The world is so much bigger than one person can ever experience. Drinking Taiwan Beer at Alley Cats in Taipei on a hot evening and stepping around cockroaches on the street and ducking out of wicked summer rains is completely different from finding yourself wandered into a shoto [park] after karaoke, trying to sing along to a novice (yet extremely enthusiastic) Japanese guitar playing, are two unbelievably different experiences.

But more than that, they're also different from the experiences anyone will ever have there. Travelling makes things happen. It's a state of mind that is active and transgressive and actively based into getting into other people's worlds. It's unbelievable and foreign and fucked if you allow it to be, and it is also a lesson that can be repeated, but that can't be truly learned until it's experienced.

As for missing people - and, no offense to llamas - it's part of the package. I've lived away from home since I was seventeen, and I didn't see my younger sister the entire time she was sixteen. Not once. Not in person, not through Skype or MSN or anything. It makes me a terrible person, but I still miss them a lot. Nothing comes between them. But you can either be thrown into the maelstrom of life outside the gates or forever think about what you might have done.

Better to do and regret than live with what might have been.

[At least that's what I tell all the ladies]