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View Full Version : Is hatred ever justified?



bighead384
04-26-2012, 12:49 PM
I understand it depends on how you define "hate", but I guess what I'm really asking is: is there an extreme level of contempt that you can hold towards a person (to the point that you see them as below consideration) that is justifiable depending on that person's crimes/wrongdoings? Do you personally hate anyone?

This debate often pops into my mind when I hear someone say something like "I don't hate her. I don't I hate anyone. I just strongly dislike her".

Lord Phidias
04-26-2012, 12:59 PM
Yes, because it is cool to hate.

killer_queen
04-26-2012, 01:43 PM
With my definition of hatred it is always justified. Disliking means not having any warm feeling towards someone and it's not the same as having neutral feelings because when you dislike someone you know that there is nothing to like about him. And when you hate someone, it means you want to see them suffering (within degrees).

I don't think I hate anyone right now but there had been times I felt it so strongly. When someone hurts you you want to hurt them back, it's only natural. Dislike on the other hand, a very useful emotion, it helps you to stay away from people who are wrong for you.

KickHimWhenHe'sDown
04-26-2012, 06:04 PM
This debate often pops into my mind when I hear someone say something like "I don't hate her. I don't I hate anyone. I just strongly dislike her".
That annoys me so much. It's as if they think "hate" is a very bad word so they just phrase it differently.

I personally do not hate anyone, nor do I "strongly dislike" anyone. I'm not the easiest person to make angry.

My Name Was Taken
04-26-2012, 07:07 PM
I honestly hate my mother enough to throw confetti at her funeral. It's justified.

Llamas
04-26-2012, 07:56 PM
I honestly hate my mother enough to throw confetti at her funeral. It's justified.

Well, you just crossed the line from "annoying, but maybe still a sympathetic character" to "total asshole". I could almost guarantee that my mom has done worse things to me than yours has done to you, but I still love her and wish that we were in contact. Celebrating your mom's death is disgusting. That's the woman who carried you in her womb and raised you. I don't care if you argue with her all the time and she makes you mad all the time. No, this just legit pissed me off.

My Name Was Taken
04-26-2012, 08:24 PM
Well, you just crossed the line from "annoying, but maybe still a sympathetic character" to "total asshole". I could almost guarantee that my mom has done worse things to me than yours has done to you, but I still love her and wish that we were in contact. Celebrating your mom's death is disgusting. That's the woman who carried you in her womb and raised you. I don't care if you argue with her all the time and she makes you mad all the time. No, this just legit pissed me off.

Seriously? you have no fucking Idea what goes on in my life. I don't hate my father even after he spent three years selling me to friends and coworkers for money to support his drug habits.

KickHimWhenHe'sDown
04-26-2012, 08:48 PM
Seriously? you have no fucking Idea what goes on in my life. I don't hate my father even after he spent three years selling me to friends and coworkers for money to support his drug habits.
Selling you? How so?

XYlophonetreeZ
04-26-2012, 09:55 PM
Seriously? you have no fucking Idea what goes on in my life. I don't hate my father even after he spent three years selling me to friends and coworkers for money to support his drug habits.

That sounds like a pretty big problem to have for you to still be so upset about something so petty as "my stepdad judges me because I'm an atheist." Perhaps your hatred is misdirected.

Lord Phidias
04-26-2012, 10:22 PM
Seriously? you have no fucking Idea what goes on in my life. I don't hate my father even after he spent three years selling me to friends and coworkers for money to support his drug habits.

MyNameWasTaken, are you doing ok?

Seriously, you seem like a very distressed kid, I don't really know what to think about you and your situation, considering also your other thread. I mean, we don't know you, and also because of this you shouldn't be throwing comments we can't relate to the right context, maybe your mom is a witch and you are on your right to hate her, but people won't understand and won't like you if you just say stuff like this without any background.

I learned my lesson, roam carefully on this forums...

WebDudette
04-27-2012, 01:23 AM
Well, you just crossed the line from "annoying, but maybe still a sympathetic character" to "total asshole". I could almost guarantee that my mom has done worse things to me than yours has done to you, but I still love her and wish that we were in contact. Celebrating your mom's death is disgusting. That's the woman who carried you in her womb and raised you. I don't care if you argue with her all the time and she makes you mad all the time. No, this just legit pissed me off.

Eh, in this instance I think she's in the right*. Just because someone birthed you doesn't mean she deserves your respect or love, and it doesn't mean she hasn't done terrible things. Plus, you can't guarantee a fucking thing, and even if you could it doesn't mean that she should feel the same way you do. I have a sister who has ruined her sons life. She knew he had a disease since he was an infant and never got it checked out, now he will likely die by the time he is 16, and it could have been prevented, if not drastically slowed. She has one son she let her boyfriend put cigarettes out on and leave him in a toilet when he was a toddler. She has two other kids who haven't had it quite as bad, but they grew up in a pretty fucked up way and both of them hold a lot of contempt for her. Hell, one of them is so pissed with her, that's hes pretty much disowned the entire family. I can't exactly blame him, but I'd like to get in contact with him and tell him I was only two years older than him when we were growing up and had not idea what was going on. Thankfully, she doesn't have custody of any of them anymore, and I probably will not grieve when she is dead. She has a daughter right now that she has yet to lose custody off. I hope they are both doing well for the babies sake, but still...

I have an uncle who spent a long time in prison for child molestation, I will not grieve when he dies either.

*I don't necessarily agree with celebrating someones death, but you don't have to love and respect someone just because they are family or they gave birth to you.

WebDudette
04-27-2012, 01:37 AM
I believe hate can be justified. There are people I hate and will likely hate until I die. The ones I can think of off the top of my head did not directly effect me in anyway though. I think that is strange, I can not think of a person I hate that has done anything to me directly. There are people I dislike or hold contempt for because of the things they did to me, but the people I truly hate are people who have done terrible things to my friends.

I mean, I obviously have a lot of ill feelings towards my sister, but I still see her from time to time and can't say I hate her. I'm never going to like the kid who brought a group of his friends and guns to rob my father and I, I certainly do not like him, but I don't think I hate him.

I saw a kid I do hate at a party a few months ago. Once I noticed him, all I could think about was beating the shit out of him. He stood across from me in a group of people and I didn't look at him, I didn't say a single word to him, I did everything in my power to ignore his very existence, but I was still thinking about beating the shit out of him. I actually wish I would have, but at that time I thought about the repercussions of doing it at a friends house and how it wouldn't change the past or help the situation at all. I still wish I had done it, I still want to do it, every now and then I still think about it, and once in a great while I dream about it. I hate him to this day because of something that happened three years ago. I think this may be read as a little more extreme then I meant it to, but I do fucking hate this person.

There are a couple of other guys I hate and have never even met, I don't even know their names, but I fucking loathe them.

Isolated Fury
04-27-2012, 06:10 AM
Holy shit. Someone remind me to never make PilZ-E mad. Ever.

Secondly, Lordie (no offense in the nickname; I just love making new nicknames for it) has a point, MNWT. If you really want to press this issue or even sister issue, for that matter, I'm sure the BBS would have no problem "solving" the problem for you. Honestly, I don't know what you've been through in your life. I don't care to know, really. What I do know is that your posts are coming off as a spoiled little brat that is throwing a temper tantrum in a supermarket, pounding your fists on the ground as electric lardmobiles whiz past you. It's making you appear incredibly immature.

Talking about wanting your mom to die is something I did when I was 14. I felt soooooo cool. Fuck you, mom. You don't know how rough it is being me. Well then guess what. My mother went in for a simple surgery (gallbladder removal) and stopped breathing halfway through the procedure. It's really fun to talk about until it actually happens. I felt like I hated my mother more than anyone in the world. I didn't know, however, how it felt to walk into the hospital to see your mother laid up in the intensive care unit. Sure, my mother isn't dead now, but she WAS legally dead for four minutes. The point I'm trying to make is that you either probably don't know what you're saying or are definitely saying this for attention. A lot of people clash with a parent. But you don't have to be immature and talk about how you'd totally throw a bomb-ass party on top of his/her casket.

One last thing, I see MNTW as a girl that does a lot of reading, withholds herself from many social interaction although she could easily have a lot of friends, shops at Hot Topic/Zumiez/wherever these kids shop nowadays, and has tried to mark herself with itty-bitty scars in highly visible areas on occasion.

Llamas
04-27-2012, 06:53 AM
Eh, in this instance I think she's in the right*. Just because someone birthed you doesn't mean she deserves your respect or love, and it doesn't mean she hasn't done terrible things. Plus, you can't guarantee a fucking thing, and even if you could it doesn't mean that she should feel the same way you do. I have a sister who has ruined her sons life. She knew he had a disease since he was an infant and never got it checked out, now he will likely die by the time he is 16, and it could have been prevented, if not drastically slowed. She has one son she let her boyfriend put cigarettes out on and leave him in a toilet when he was a toddler. She has two other kids who haven't had it quite as bad, but they grew up in a pretty fucked up way and both of them hold a lot of contempt for her. Hell, one of them is so pissed with her, that's hes pretty much disowned the entire family. I can't exactly blame him, but I'd like to get in contact with him and tell him I was only two years older than him when we were growing up and had not idea what was going on. Thankfully, she doesn't have custody of any of them anymore, and I probably will not grieve when she is dead. She has a daughter right now that she has yet to lose custody off. I hope they are both doing well for the babies sake, but still...

I have an uncle who spent a long time in prison for child molestation, I will not grieve when he dies either.

*I don't necessarily agree with celebrating someones death, but you don't have to love and respect someone just because they are family or they gave birth to you.

I highly doubt that her mom molested her. You are right, but her posts reek of teen angst. I'm pretty sure that people who legit hate a family member and would celebrate their death, don't want ANYTHING to do with them and don't give a shit about their opinions on their religion. The chick just made a thread about her parents judging her for being atheist... I doubt that'd be a concern at all if her mom had done something so bad to her that she'd celebrate her death.


What I do know is that your posts are coming off as a spoiled little brat that is throwing a temper tantrum in a supermarket, pounding your fists on the ground as electric lardmobiles whiz past you. It's making you appear incredibly immature.
This, exactly.


Talking about wanting your mom to die is something I did when I was 14. I felt soooooo cool. Fuck you, mom. You don't know how rough it is being me. Well then guess what. My mother went in for a simple surgery (gallbladder removal) and stopped breathing halfway through the procedure. It's really fun to talk about until it actually happens. I felt like I hated my mother more than anyone in the world. I didn't know, however, how it felt to walk into the hospital to see your mother laid up in the intensive care unit. Sure, my mother isn't dead now, but she WAS legally dead for four minutes. The point I'm trying to make is that you either probably don't know what you're saying or are definitely saying this for attention. A lot of people clash with a parent. But you don't have to be immature and talk about how you'd totally throw a bomb-ass party on top of his/her casket.
Exactly. I used to talk about and to my mom the same way. I used to make fun of her to her face and with my friends constantly. I hated her when I was a teenager. Then a few years ago, she completely disappeared. Nobody knew where she was or if she was alive. Suddenly, I was torn apart with sadness. She was gone for around 6 months, and I was legit depressed about it. When she returned, I was angry with her for having left without telling anyone and for abandoning her family, but I was still so glad to have her back. Most teenagers hate their parents, but 18 is a bit old for that. And you keep saying these bold things that are over-the-top and just not believable, which make you lose credibility. Your dad "sold" you to support his drug habit... did you get him thrown in prison for life? Because I'm having a hard time believing you're not seriously exaggerating things here.

Isolated Fury
04-27-2012, 07:12 AM
This, exactly.
Including the lardmobiles kind of exactly?


Exactly. I used to talk about and to my mom the same way. I used to make fun of her to her face and with my friends constantly. I hated her when I was a teenager. Then a few years ago, she completely disappeared. Nobody knew where she was or if she was alive. Suddenly, I was torn apart with sadness. She was gone for around 6 months, and I was legit depressed about it. When she returned, I was angry with her for having left without telling anyone and for abandoning her family, but I was still so glad to have her back. Most teenagers hate their parents, but 18 is a bit old for that. And you keep saying these bold things that are over-the-top and just not believable, which make you lose credibility. Your dad "sold" you to support his drug habit... did you get him thrown in prison for life? Because I'm having a hard time believing you're not seriously exaggerating things here.
Firstly (I would like to point out that I initially typed "fistly"), holy fuckballs about your mom disappearing. I wasn't even mad about the whole family abandonment thing when I read that. I was too busy trying to figure out how you didn't completely lose your mind during those six months.

Second, I forgot about the "my dad totes sold me n shit" thing. llamas is completely right. I would like to know under what context you're saying that he "sold" you. Was he selling your labor skills? Your body/mouth/other orifice? Black market child trafficking? And if it's not one of those things, I don't see how it's "selling" you. On the other hand if it IS one of those things, I don't see how you DON'T hate him. Unless, of course, this is an over-exaggerated statement planned to generate more attention. lololol

Llamas
04-27-2012, 07:26 AM
Including the lardmobiles kind of exactly?
The lardmobiles were pretty much the focal point of my exactly.



Firstly (I would like to point out that I initially typed "fistly"), holy fuckballs about your mom disappearing. I wasn't even mad about the whole family abandonment thing when I read that. I was too busy trying to figure out how you didn't completely lose your mind during those six months.
It helped that I didn't live at home anymore, and that I found out after a couple months that she'd "headed south" toward Georgia, and I figured she was going to join a cult (I wasn't that far off - but the cult turned out to be even too shammy for her, and she ended up being homeless for a few months). What didn't help was that we hadn't been talking for a year by that point because I'd come out to her.


Second, I forgot about the "my dad totes sold me n shit" thing. llamas is completely right. I would like to know under what context you're saying that he "sold" you. Was he selling your labor skills? Your body/mouth/other orifice? Black market child trafficking? And if it's not one of those things, I don't see how it's "selling" you. On the other hand if it IS one of those things, I don't see how you DON'T hate him. Unless, of course, this is an over-exaggerated statement planned to generate more attention. lololol
Precisely. If he did one of those three things, I'd have gotten him sent to prison asap and would hate him forever. There's not much worse a parent can do to their kid than those things. If he didn't do one of those three things, he didn't "sell" her.

RageAndLov
04-27-2012, 08:38 AM
Am I the only one actually liking my parents? Sure, we have had our feuds or arguments, but I have never felt that I hated them or anything close to that.

Isolated Fury
04-27-2012, 08:47 AM
Am I the only one actually liking my parents? Sure, we have had our feuds or arguments, but I have never felt that I hated them or anything close to that.
Well, I grew the fuck up. I didn't cling to childish ideas like wanting them to die.

I cherish my parents now. I feel like my mother is the epitome of dependability. I feel like my father is the greatest man to have ever walked this planet. I don't know what I would do without them.

My Name Was Taken
04-27-2012, 09:05 AM
Yes, my father did sell me as a prostitute. I can’t hate my father for what he did because it wasn’t personal. He didn’t do it specifically to hurt me, that was not his purpose.. :/ He did it to support his drug habits… which is bad…. Idk. Could this be something like Stockholm syndrome? I feel sympathy for the man who created most of the problems in my life…. My mother on the other hand is a sadistic bitch. She allowed everything to happen just because she didn’t want to have to live with me. She didn’t believe in abortion, she let me ruin her kidneys and she’s spent my entire life punishing me for what I did to her by simply being born. I was exaggerating about celebrating at her funeral, though sometimes I feel like I would.

Isolated Fury
04-27-2012, 09:17 AM
This is madness (Sparta). I can't help but feel like this is a complete fabrication. There's is no rational reason to explain anything that's been said thus far. I'm calling two things: bullshit and quits. I honestly can't take this seriously. If you want to keep telling everyone how you perfected the art of the handie by the age of seven, go for it. I feel like I'm on a BDSM fan-fiction forum.

Maybe... This could actually get better. Then I'd have to interject.

But for now, I'm calling bullshit. Tell your dad I said hi.

killer_queen
04-27-2012, 09:43 AM
I think you guys are being a bit hard on Mynamewastaken. You can't just make a list about the things that makes your hatred against parents justified. Not everyone is the same. Your mother was a bitch but you still love her? That's fine. But don't claim that it shows how mature you are. People are different. You can't expect everyone to take same amount of shit and be fine with it. Some people can't forgive easily, some find it very easy to hate others.

My parents are really cool compared to all those selling, molesting stuff. They are both college educated, intellectual people. They had been quite violent to me a couple of times but I was also blessed with stuff most of the children only dream of. Still I strongly dislike both of them, depending on the day I might even hate my mother. I wouldn't do confetti but it would sure be a comfort if she died. It's not about maturity, it's about point of view. I think if you have kids you are responsible of them until 18 and if you are not taking care of them as well as you can it means you are a terrible person. I just can't think of something more horrible than creating something that is completely depending on you and then not taking care of it. If mynamewastaken's mother doesn't want her in her home I think that calls for hatred.

Little_Miss_1565
04-27-2012, 10:03 AM
I have a little training in crisis response, and some of you guys are failing pretty hard. Sure, some people lie about sexual abuse, but it's beyond shitty to assume that anyone who reports being abused is lying, and even beyond beyond shitty to berate that person for "lying." Believe or don't, and if you don't, leave her alone.

Lord Phidias
04-27-2012, 10:03 AM
I still don't know what to think about all of this. I mean, this looks like a scam, because of the topic and the way MNWT is expressing herself. What I think of these kind of situations is that people have no real necessity to tell things that are not true, because I don't do it, the truth is one of the most if not THE most important value in this life, so i actually believe you, because as I said, there is no reason at all to lie to a bunch of strangers. Of course there is the possibility of you making up all this stuff to get street cred or whatever, but as you realize now, it's not working.

Maybe you are really going through a lot and have had a horrible upbringing, but you need, for your own sake, to grow up a little bit, nobody here is trying to hurt or discredit you, but you need to read your posts with our perspective and maybe you will realize we are not so wrong.

I will comment about your issue on your post, because it's off topic.


Secondly, Lordie (no offense in the nickname; I just love making new nicknames for it) has a point, MNWT.

Not taken, and you can call me whatever you want, I like nicknames! :D <3

Isolated Fury
04-27-2012, 10:49 AM
Ok, back on topic. Hate can be very justified. I hate spiders, pollen, and attention whores.

KickHimWhenHe'sDown
04-27-2012, 02:20 PM
I hate the movie Thor

Baldwin
04-27-2012, 08:27 PM
I have a little training in crisis response, and some of you guys are failing pretty hard. Sure, some people lie about sexual abuse, but it's beyond shitty to assume that anyone who reports being abused is lying, and even beyond beyond shitty to berate that person for "lying." Believe or don't, and if you don't, leave her alone.

Doesn't cut it when she's accusing a real live person, whose identity could be found if anyone cared to find it, of a lynchworthy crime. If everyone who didn't believe her obviously fabricated Munchausen's story chose to politely ignore it instead of challenging it, all the reactions would be left to the gullible idiots who'll believe whatever they're told, and there'd be a decent chance an innocent person's life could be destroyed, or even ended.

Don't forget that she's not just making up a story for some e-hugs, she's pointing her finger at somebody who could be identified, and accusing him of one of the most vile crimes imaginable. What she's doing is a horrendous, disgusting fucking thing, it's outright sociopathy, and she should be treated with nothing but our utter contempt and loathing.

So, on topic ; yeah, hatred can be justified.

WebDudette
04-28-2012, 02:18 AM
My router fried and I haven't had the internet for a day, but I was still thinking about this thread and what I said. Before I get all caught up on this thread I want to clarify something. I definitely took what llamas said a bit out of context. I have no opinion on the validity of MNWT thoughts and accusations against her mother. I just wanted to make the point that there are people who truly loathe their parents or relatives with good reason, and while one person may go through something worse and still love thier parents, that doesn't mean someone else should be held to that standard.

I'm going to read all the replies after what I said now and maybe make some more specific responses.

samseby
04-28-2012, 04:32 AM
Justified? Well, in some cases and for a certain period of time maybe. Nonetheless, mostly it's just a waste of time 'cause it does no good to you and probably doesn't change a thing or a person's way of behaving.
There are things you can change and others that can't be changed no matter what. I tend to avoid people / things that annoy me most of the time ... nevertheless it happens. In that cases I try to let off steam directly or to do nothing at all and just move on because not everything is actually worth a reaction.

My Name Was Taken
04-30-2012, 08:38 AM
You want a fucking name? There's your fucking name. But nothing can happen to him anymore other than another black mark on his already aweful reputation. The abuse stopped more than 3 years ago and I'm 18 now: nothing can be done. And why the hell would I lie to a buch of fucking strangers? I have no clue why I've even said anything about it.... I'm not trying for attention.

Sidewinder
05-01-2012, 02:57 AM
I have a little training in crisis response, and some of you guys are failing pretty hard. Sure, some people lie about sexual abuse, but it's beyond shitty to assume that anyone who reports being abused is lying, and even beyond beyond shitty to berate that person for "lying." Believe or don't, and if you don't, leave her alone.

THIS. I had a friend who went to the police because she thought she might have been raped while drunk. She couldn't remember due to the alcohol / trauma. Turns out she was. But after the entire ordeal was over, she said the police interrogating her was infinitely worse than the actual event.

And let's be real. Anyone who reports sexual abuse has SOME sort of problem going on, even if they're lying to your face. No one is going to make that up for shits and giggles.

Btw, hate is never justified. It's excess energy spent on harmful emotions that could be spent in a number of more productive ways. Dislike someone all you want, but hate/hating is stupid.