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bighead384
05-30-2012, 09:30 AM
Just some thoughts that may or may not be relatable...

People always talk of "truly living, not just surviving" and stuff. And it really is important to do that. But it takes a lot of mental preparation and planning to branch out, experience new things, and pursue various goals. When you haven't achieved stability in important areas of life, it's hard to have the mental focus to "truly live" so to speak. This is because you're so drained from worrying and putting time into achieving stability.

To achieving financial stability, relationship stability (friends, family, significant other), and mental stability, you obviously need other people. The problem is that people are fucking crazy, or at least in my opinion they are. So because it's such a fucking task to achieve stability, it's nearly impossible to purse the stuff you really want to do. And it all comes back to people being crazy. Society is just too much for a lot of people to handle, and they can't find enough good people to feel stable. I think that's why a lot of people are just surviving but not truly living.

Jojan
05-30-2012, 09:41 AM
True happiness can only come from labour.

Llamas
05-30-2012, 11:00 AM
Just some thoughts that may or may not be relatable...

People always talk of "truly living, not just surviving" and stuff. And it really is important to do that. But it takes a lot of mental preparation and planning to branch out, experience new things, and pursue various goals. When you haven't achieved stability in important areas of life, it's hard to have the mental focus to "truly live" so to speak. This is because you're so drained from worrying and putting time into achieving stability.

To achieving financial stability, relationship stability (friends, family, significant other), and mental stability, you obviously need other people. The problem is that people are fucking crazy, or at least in my opinion they are. So because it's such a fucking task to achieve stability, it's nearly impossible to purse the stuff you really want to do. And it all comes back to people being crazy. Society is just too much for a lot of people to handle, and they can't find enough good people to feel stable. I think that's why a lot of people are just surviving but not truly living.

Once again, your desolate outlook on life and people makes me feel sorry for you. I literally don't know anyone who has such a hard time with other people and with money that they simply can't enjoy life... and just spend so much time worrying about how society is too much to handle and how they can't find enough good people. That is very depressing, and I honestly don't know if it's fair to say that it applies to "a lot of people".

TheNooseIsFalling
05-30-2012, 12:12 PM
That's a bit materialistic

Little_Miss_1565
05-30-2012, 12:59 PM
I am of the belief that life is what you make of it. If you blame others for your inability to achieve your goals, chances are that's an excuse and not a reason. The people who are content to blame others for their unhappiness are doomed to stay unhappy forever until they figure out what it is in them that they're putting out into the world that's attracting all this misery and craziness into their world.

I have felt like my friends weren't supporting me and were causing me problems. I've found out along the way that some of those problems were actually me. So, I fixed them, and dumped the friends that were complicating my existence. Fixing my problems enabled me to get even better friends, and an even better life. It wasn't easy, and it took years to do, but it starts with being brave enough to begin the process..

Lord Phidias
05-30-2012, 01:00 PM
Once again, your desolate outlook on life and people makes me feel sorry for you. I literally don't know anyone who has such a hard time with other people and with money that they simply can't enjoy life... and just spend so much time worrying about how society is too much to handle and how they can't find enough good people. That is very depressing, and I honestly don't know if it's fair to say that it applies to "a lot of people".

I actually comprehend what bighead is saying, in my experience, there are very few people that are worth making an effort to maintain a relationship with, because of many reasons, one of those reasons is people are crazy, or too egotistical, or too egomaniac, or too blind, or too stupid (not that I feel superior, but there are people who justo don't realize their actions have consequences), and what I've come to understand recently, based on my own life and experience, is that the main goal of humanity is to live in society, and when you feel alienated from it, you hang on the people you share something with... I don't know what else to say, I just felt in the same situation as bighead, or at least I translated his thoughts into my persona. I feel that in order to truly living, I need to stay near the people I love, I can't imagine myself cutting bonds with everyone and moving to another country for good, and I am talking about life, not about happiness, I am happy when I'm on my own, but I can't figure myself living on an island, speaking my mind to the sea.

bighead384
05-31-2012, 09:07 AM
I am of the belief that life is what you make of it. If you blame others for your inability to achieve your goals, chances are that's an excuse and not a reason. The people who are content to blame others for their unhappiness are doomed to stay unhappy forever until they figure out what it is in them that they're putting out into the world that's attracting all this misery and craziness into their world.

I have no problem with this mentality, but sometimes it seems that people who have this view start thinking that it's practically impossible to be deprived of things you need if you put out the effort. And I'm saying this as a white guy in America, obviously a position of privilege.

The phrase "blame others" seems to make the pressures and difficulties of living among many, many ignorant people sound so petty. Society establishes social norms and institutions which pressures individuals to conform to conditions with which they disagree with or perhaps just don't fit in with. This is what pressures people and makes it hard for some to achieve stability. Not just a few "others".

Little_Miss_1565
05-31-2012, 11:24 AM
I have no problem with this mentality, but sometimes it seems that people who have this view start thinking that it's practically impossible to be deprived of things you need if you put out the effort. And I'm saying this as a white guy in America, obviously a position of privilege.

The phrase "blame others" seems to make the pressures and difficulties of living among many, many ignorant people sound so petty. Society establishes social norms and institutions which pressures individuals to conform to conditions with which they disagree with or perhaps just don't fit in with. This is what pressures people and makes it hard for some to achieve stability. Not just a few "others".

Then you change societies. I felt totally oppressed growing up in the midwest, so I made sure I went to college on the east coast. I busted my ass to get scholarships and grants to make that happen. And then I busted my ass again to get a job in NYC after college. It's a big world out there with a lot of communities that are welcoming to particular groups of people.

Llamas
05-31-2012, 02:24 PM
You have three options: 1) Change societies, as LM suggested, and as I also did myself (not necessarily in moving to Europe, but when I left Wisconsin for Minnesota... HUGE change, very positive, and made a great impact on my life, attitude, and success. I know, you hate "big city liberals", so you'd never allow yourself to be happy in a big city. But there must be some place you'd be happy in. Find it and go there. 2) Get involved in something that will work to change the society you're in. Pin-point the things you don't like, find like-minded people who also dislike these things (there are tons of groups you can get involved with), and try to do something about it. 3) Find what you like about where you are physically and in life, and, as Atmosphere says, "Don't take it for granted, instead take a look around, quit complaining and build something on that ground. Plant something on that ground, dance and sleep on that ground. Get on your hands and knees and watch the ants walk around." 4) Bitch, complain, and whine until the day you die because you'll never be happy.

Dragnet
05-31-2012, 03:32 PM
Just some thoughts that may or may not be relatable...

People always talk of "truly living, not just surviving" and stuff. And it really is important to do that. But it takes a lot of mental preparation and planning to branch out, experience new things, and pursue various goals. When you haven't achieved stability in important areas of life, it's hard to have the mental focus to "truly live" so to speak. This is because you're so drained from worrying and putting time into achieving stability.

To achieving financial stability, relationship stability (friends, family, significant other), and mental stability, you obviously need other people. The problem is that people are fucking crazy, or at least in my opinion they are. So because it's such a fucking task to achieve stability, it's nearly impossible to purse the stuff you really want to do. And it all comes back to people being crazy. Society is just too much for a lot of people to handle, and they can't find enough good people to feel stable. I think that's why a lot of people are just surviving but not truly living.

Nice post, I can relate to that.
Most people are just interested in keeping their life away from too much friction so you can't really convince them of looking beyond this way of living.
Another point is that some people you have relationships to might see you like they want to see you and ignore that you actually evolve and move on as a person. Its hurtful but you probably have to let those kind of relationships go. Just like Little Miss pointed it out.

KickHimWhenHe'sDown
05-31-2012, 07:31 PM
You guys have some pretty boring discussions. People are lame. I think I'll move out to the mountains when I'm older and live alone forever. :)

AllIn All It's Not So Bad
05-31-2012, 08:28 PM
To be honest, I was just going to say bigheads threads suck. They are so boring and stupid that I just can't bring myself to contributing something to them because they are all so fucking emo and depressive and boring. I mean, I don't make many threads, but at least i don't sound like such a cunt bitching and whining all the time.


I should probably think up a thread that is conversation-while

T-6005
06-01-2012, 01:09 AM
Then again, there's another school of thought that perhaps bighead gets jumped on just a bit too much and sometimes some of the things people say deserve to get heard, despite how ridiculous they might originally sound?

Sometimes people say shitty things and what happens is comeuppeance. Then sometimes what happens is bandwagoning.

Now. As to stability. And without getting too insane.

It seems like you're underlining two different problems - the first is the problem of stability itself, and the second is the problem of 'experiencing new things'.

The biggest issue with what you're proposing is that these are placed next to each other at all. You can be unstable and experiencing new things or dealing with the same old paranoia, or stable and finally running out or just home watching Breaking Bad.

My point is that maybe you're judging your own desire from the point of view of personal experience, which is perhaps an unfair judgment. 'Want' is a particular category that's always going to be evolving according to your life history, as is your level of comfort with whatever those desires are.

You don't need to let go of stability to have something new. At the same time, just because you're a lost soul doesn't guarantee you'll escape your loop.

If you pretend like willful uncertainty is certain to result in new experience, you need to take a second look at where you are. But at the same time, if you believe that staying home sane as Sam will lead to the same experience you've had a hundred times, you need to listen to that person breathing loud and hungry in your ear.