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View Full Version : Ask TeddyBear_Army a question!



TeddyBear_Army
06-14-2012, 08:02 PM
Do it, I'm cool.

GamerKT
06-14-2012, 08:07 PM
Will you show us your wiener?

Omni
06-14-2012, 08:07 PM
Okay. Why did you post this in GOD?

KickHimWhenHe'sDown
06-14-2012, 08:50 PM
Will you not show us your wiener?

Dexter_italy
06-14-2012, 11:58 PM
/thread

did it work? at least I tried!

dff_punk
06-15-2012, 01:35 AM
Do you have a wiener?

TheJakes84
06-15-2012, 04:30 AM
Are you a member of The Offspring?

findout5
06-15-2012, 05:55 AM
Teddy, have you ever seen the wiener of an offspring member?

TeddyBear_Army
06-15-2012, 06:25 AM
i do have a wiener, but i'm fat and i havent seen it for years.
i am not an official offspring member.
i made this thread because there are 100 threads like "ask (insert offspring member here) a question", but they never answer. i just thought it'd be kinda cool to let you guys know more about enigmatic me.

http://www.bobpazsignshop.com/images/HaveYouSeenMyWiener598.jpg

cmon, ask me more! i can predict the future too!

TeddyBear_Army
06-15-2012, 06:28 AM
also, dex has a huge cock. just look at the way ladies lust him and long haired guys envy him.
i31.photobucket.com/albums/c374/somekevin/dexterholland.jpg

Krojd
06-15-2012, 06:34 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLl0DVzRksk ???

TheJakes84
06-15-2012, 06:38 AM
http://patmagazine.com/pblog/index.php?itemid=637

10. Dexter Holland, the Offspring The Matthew Lillard of novelty-punk. 1994 saw the rise of not-great but authentic California pop-punkers Green Day and Rancid bubble up to the top of modern rock radio and frat parties nationwide, but the Offspring were imposters, sounding more like songwriters for children’s breakfast cereal. Being lumped in with those bands, and riding the wave of the single “Come Out and Play,” their album “Smash” somehow became the biggest-selling independent record of al time, embarrassing every single band on Earth that had never been on a major label. In the subsequent years, they released even worse songs, like “Pretty Fly (For a White Guy)," and the “Ob-La-Di” rip-off, “Why Don’t You Get a Job?” If you want to find a singer more annoying than him, you’d better pack a lunch, because it’s going to take all day.

Dexter Holland wrote:
"If you want to find a singer more annoying than him, you'd better pack a lunch, because it's going to take all day." Um, hilarious.
02/05 08:21:43

#25. Dexter Holland / The Offspring
Dexter is hung like a horse and is kinda kinky in bed. Loves to eat pussy and can fuck like a madman. Missionary position bores him and will have you flipping like a pancake. Somebody you'll have fun with.

metalsludge

TeddyBear_Army
06-15-2012, 06:38 AM
he is a gynocologist and urologist and takes care of penises and vaginas.

TeddyBear_Army
06-15-2012, 06:40 AM
http://patmagazine.com/pblog/index.php?itemid=637

Dexter Holland wrote:
"If you want to find a singer more annoying than him, you'd better pack a lunch, because it's going to take all day." Um, hilarious.
02/05 08:21:43

#25. Dexter Holland / The Offspring
Dexter is hung like a horse and is kinda kinky in bed. Loves to eat pussy and can fuck like a madman. Missionary position bores him and will have you flipping like a pancake. Somebody you'll have fun with.

metalsludge

see, i knew that. i know everything there is to know!

TheJakes84
06-15-2012, 06:45 AM
see, i knew that. i know everything there is to know!

I still think it's a hilarious joke to make fun of musicians. :rolleyes:

findout5
06-15-2012, 06:46 AM
I t also said there that Lars from Metallica is uncircumcised...I did not need this information on my head...somebody please that these terrible images from my mind!! :p

TheJakes84
06-15-2012, 06:49 AM
At MetalSludge theres a section for the Groupies list, and it's just a joke and uh, hilarious. :rolleyes:

TeddyBear_Army
06-15-2012, 07:07 AM
we all know lars must have a pretty small dick too, right?
I know, for a fact, that Mike Patton is a great kisser. I kissed him. For realz.

TheJakes84
06-15-2012, 07:17 AM
^ So lucky!

TeddyBear_Army
06-15-2012, 07:24 AM
at the 1:50 or so mark, I'm the dood he kisses (the girl on my right is my beyoncè and the girl on my left is my sister)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAqV12SMIXU

here's my facebook profile, so you can see it's really me
http://www.facebook.com/#!/ygor.fiorettoaguero

TheJakes84
06-15-2012, 07:31 AM
^ Yo, thanks for sharing, that was pretty damn cool.

TeddyBear_Army
06-15-2012, 07:33 AM
see, now you know more about me.
cmon, ask away!

TheJakes84
06-15-2012, 07:37 AM
How long have you've been a fan and what made you join this place?

findout5
06-15-2012, 07:39 AM
Also Teddy, are you part of the Bear Community?

TeddyBear_Army
06-15-2012, 07:46 AM
I've been a fan since 1999 (I'm a Pretty Fly kid) and I joined the board on 2000. I've been here since then, that's why lots of old school guys know me.

I'd describe myself as 60% straight and 40% homossexual, so yeah, I kinda am part of the bear scene.

TheJakes84
06-15-2012, 07:48 AM
Nice! You really seem down to earth and humble. That's a very attractive/appealing quality of your personality. :)

findout5
06-15-2012, 08:02 AM
You're a funny bastard Ted!

TeddyBear_Army
06-15-2012, 08:06 AM
Thank you guys, thank you! I'm flattered, really.

anything else you guys wanna know?

findout5
06-15-2012, 08:10 AM
Just a couple more questions, if you'll indulge us...

What is the meaning of life?

How can I get rich by the end of the month?

Can you cure baldness?

TheJakes84
06-15-2012, 08:10 AM
Do ya speak any other foreign languages or have an accent?

TeddyBear_Army
06-15-2012, 08:16 AM
Just a couple more questions, if you'll indulge us...

What is the meaning of life?

How can I get rich by the end of the month?

Can you cure baldness?

1- 42.

2- Buy my book "How to Write Win at Lottery Books"

3- I have the magic touch, dude. I can cure ANYTHING. I was the one responsible on keeping Michael Jackson's nose sticking to his face!
I am the one who brought back John Travolta and cast him on Pulp Fiction.
I fucking WROTE The Avengers screenplay. Don't you think I can cure baldness?


Do ya speak any other foreign languages or have an accent?

I speak Portuguese, English and a little bit of Italian. I guess I do have a little bit of accent, but I don't think it's thick or that it would mess with your comprehension of my speech.

Ask away!

TheJakes84
06-15-2012, 08:28 AM
This is getting better and funner! Have you had the honor on meeting the band or experienced a live concert?

TeddyBear_Army
06-15-2012, 08:33 AM
This is getting better and funner! Have you had the honor on meeting the band or experienced a live concert?

I've not yet had the chance to meet them, but I've been to 3 awesome gigs. I heard them play Mota and Blitzkrieg Bop live, so I do feel great about that!

TeddyBear_Army
06-15-2012, 08:38 AM
damn, im feeling like a celebrity!

DMelges
06-15-2012, 08:46 AM
Teddy, please answer this simple equation.

([{15x^(7/2)y - e^(x)} * 7.6e] + [38/5]e)*e(x^2+[3/2y^3])

TeddyBear_Army
06-15-2012, 09:17 AM
Teddy, please answer this simple equation.

([{15x^(7/2)y - e^(x)} * 7.6e] + [38/5]e)*e(x^2+[3/2y^3])

huh, tricky question, eh? you see Dan, sometimes the answer does not matter, the question is the most important part. you have to ask yourself "why? why am i asking that? will it change someone's point of view? will it change my life?". when you question the question you get to know yourself better, you get in touch with your inner you. see, question you actions, question your questions and you'll see the ultimate answer lies inside of you.


btw, the answer is 2.

DMelges
06-15-2012, 10:17 AM
huh, tricky question, eh? you see Dan, sometimes the answer does not matter, the question is the most important part. you have to ask yourself "why? why am i asking that? will it change someone's point of view? will it change my life?". when you question the question you get to know yourself better, you get in touch with your inner you. see, question you actions, question your questions and you'll see the ultimate answer lies inside of you.


btw, the answer is 2.

Interesting enough, you might be correct. If we consider the value of x to be 2, then the answer will in fact be that of 2. If x were 100, the equation would equal 100.

The real question is, which answer do you want ?

TeddyBear_Army
06-15-2012, 12:35 PM
i knew it. i know everything.

TheJakes84
06-15-2012, 12:39 PM
Color? Hobby? Book? Car? Tv show? Food? Drink? Place? Music? Band? Sport? Instrument? Ice cream? Cookies? Chips? Chocolate? Other?

XYlophonetreeZ
06-15-2012, 12:42 PM
Teddybear_Army: Why has this thread not been locked or moved yet?

Regards,
XYlophonetreeZ

TeddyBear_Army
06-15-2012, 01:03 PM
Color? Hobby? Book? Car? Tv show? Food? Drink? Place? Music? Band? Sport? Instrument? Ice cream? Cookies? Chips? Chocolate? Other?

green, videogames, 1984, i do not drive, mad men, pizza, beer, brazil, alt. rock, Offspring, hockey, bass, mint, out of the three: chocolate.

also, haterz gon' be hatin'

TeddyBear_Army
06-15-2012, 04:21 PM
moved?! awwww!

TeddyBear_Army
06-15-2012, 06:14 PM
nobody comes to this part of the boards, my sweet topic is doomed to failure!
FAILURE!

findout5
06-17-2012, 04:39 AM
Nah, you're a hit anywhere! Sharing wisdom left and right!

TeddyBear_Army
06-17-2012, 05:45 AM
That's one of the things I am: WISE.
And handsome.
And hung like freaking Greg!


Does anybody need a life lesson?

TheJakes84
06-17-2012, 08:39 AM
Way too much information. There are children on board.

TeddyBear_Army
06-17-2012, 09:43 AM
ok then, im not that handsome... just hung like a motherfucking horse.

TheJakes84
06-17-2012, 10:38 AM
You're as confident about how hung your member is, eh.

TeddyBear_Army
06-17-2012, 07:12 PM
Well, my girlfriend sure as hell ain't. Someone's got to be, right?

TheJakes84
06-17-2012, 11:14 PM
Fair enough.

findout5
06-18-2012, 01:38 AM
Perhaps his girl is a Raimunda (feia e cara e boa de bunda)? lol
Just fuckin' with ya Teddy!

TeddyBear_Army
06-18-2012, 07:32 AM
No, my girlfriend is one of those hot nerdy/librarian super intelligent kinky chicks. for real.
No raimundas for me, thank you. i'm way too smart for that.

findout5
06-18-2012, 08:01 AM
No, my girlfriend is one of those hot nerdy/librarian super intelligent kinky chicks. for real.
No raimundas for me, thank you. i'm way too smart for that.

Lucky you! :P
I just wanted to show off my brazilian lingo :P

TeddyBear_Army
06-18-2012, 08:18 AM
hahahaha, aren't you from Portugal? This kinda stuff travels all the way over the ocean to you guys? You poor bastards. So you must know a lot about funk carioca, then?

findout5
06-18-2012, 08:38 AM
hahahaha, aren't you from Portugal? This kinda stuff travels all the way over the ocean to you guys? You poor bastards. So you must know a lot about funk carioca, then?

I have a couple of brazilian buddies who live over here...so I learn all the bizarre shit you guys say lol

TheJakes84
06-18-2012, 10:55 AM
No, my girlfriend is one of those hot nerdy/librarian super intelligent kinky chicks. for real.
No raimundas for me, thank you. i'm way too smart for that.

You are on lucky ass motherfucker! She seems nice, sweet and sexy!

TeddyBear_Army
06-18-2012, 04:49 PM
You are on lucky ass motherfucker! She seems nice, sweet and sexy!

yeah, and she just got her master's degree on epidemiology. can you believe how fucking lucky I am?

TheJakes84
06-20-2012, 01:01 PM
yeah, and she just got her master's degree on epidemiology. can you believe how fucking lucky I am?

She's quite a keeper! Take good care of her and you too will make absolute great parents someday! CHEERS.