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Trip Boy
02-27-2005, 05:02 PM
Write your own or your favs!

I'll kick it off.




Nick the prick had a forty ft. dick,
He showed it to the lady next door.
She thought it was a snake,
And hit it with a rake,
And now it's only four ft. four.

Tijs
02-27-2005, 05:07 PM
What were the limerick rules again?

Trip Boy
02-27-2005, 06:05 PM
A limerick is a five-line poem written with one couplet and one triplet. If a couplet is a two-line rhymed poem, then a triplet would be a three-line rhymed poem. The rhyme pattern is a a b b a with lines 1, 2 and 5 containing 3 beats and rhyming, and lines 3 and 4 having two beats and rhyming. Some people say that the limerick was invented by soldiers returning from France to the Irish town of Limerick in the 1700's.

Trip Boy
02-27-2005, 06:08 PM
There was a young plumber named Lee
WHo plumbed his girl down by the sea;
Said the lady, "Stop plumbing! I hear a someone coming."
Said the plumber, still plumbing,
"That's me."

SkunkIt
02-27-2005, 06:35 PM
Little turtle was so lucky.
He was small, his name was Bucky.
He heard a truck
He said "Oh fuck!"
He flew all the way to Kentucky.

???????????

ThatOneGuy123
02-27-2005, 08:28 PM
there once was a guy named Ray
he started to wanna be gay
he saw a boy
thought he was a toy
now he walks with a limp.........that was so retarded

Little_Miss_1565
02-27-2005, 08:41 PM
There once was a woman from Ealing
Who had a peculiar feeling
She lay on her back
And opened her crack
And pissed all over the ceiling

dirtybird
02-27-2005, 08:59 PM
There once was a man from Peru
Who dreamed that he lived in a shoe
And to his surprise
When he opened his eyes
He found that his dream was true.

SkunkIt
02-27-2005, 09:12 PM
LMAO SkunkIt! You have some serious talent!

Thanks! :D

Trip Boy
02-28-2005, 02:19 AM
There was a young man named Watt
Who took a young girl on his Yacht
Too lazy to rape her
He made darts of brown paper
Which he languidly threw at her twat.

FoodForThought
02-28-2005, 10:18 AM
Trip this thread might be too smart for people.

PrettyInPink_DeadInRed
02-28-2005, 10:21 AM
the horrors in upper form D
all went at the same time to pee
the teacher just stood
as they caused a hugh flood
and the school sailed off to the sea

Trip Boy
02-28-2005, 10:23 AM
There was a man from Thames
who was delighted in foolhardy games
He lit a match to his girlfriends snatch
and laughed as he pissed out the flames.

Punky Dudess
02-28-2005, 10:26 AM
There once was a guy called Ken,
Who was the epitome of all sexist men,
He liked girls I'm sure,
And women even more,
But it was his Coke who was his ultimate friend

TheUnholyNightbringer
02-28-2005, 07:16 PM
That's not a limerick, fuckstick.

TheUnholyNightbringer
02-28-2005, 07:20 PM
Every day I thank the gods for that fact.

Offspring Pyro
02-28-2005, 07:21 PM
Write your own or your favs!

I'll kick it off.




Nick the prick had a forty ft. dick,
He showed it to the lady next door.
She thought it was a snake,
And hit it with a rake,
And now it's only four ft. four.

ahahah trip, your good at these.

samr
02-28-2005, 07:45 PM
There once was a guy with no arms
not even a fly would he harm
until he got duct taped
beat up and butt raped
and it turns out he had SARS

sKratch
02-28-2005, 10:38 PM
The haiku threads were better. I'm too tired to write anything now.

Trip Boy
02-28-2005, 11:32 PM
Anybody remember this one???


There once was a man from madras
Whose balls were made of fine brass
In stormy weather
they clanged together
and sparks flew out of his ass!

OffspringInOz
03-01-2005, 02:28 AM
The haiku threads were better. I'm too tired to write anything now.
i did haiku poems las year in grade 6, and they were so boring!!
limericks a better, haiku's are for the more simple minded who can't think of five lines that ryme. but limericks can be quite witty.

JoY
03-01-2005, 02:40 AM
I can rhyme, but I have absolutely no sense of humour, so I'll just read your attempts.

loved the one of 1565. *thumbs up & giggle*

Trip Boy
03-01-2005, 08:50 AM
does dick rhyme with door and four?

No, it doesn't. Anything else you need help with?

Trip Boy
03-01-2005, 08:56 AM
You started a limerick thread with sth that closely resembles a limerick but which clearly is not a limerick. How do you expect ppl to feel? I feel cheated.

Twould be nice if you could drown in clam broth.

Maria

You feel cheated? I'm a fucking imposter for gods sake.

Trip Boy
03-01-2005, 09:01 AM
I would love to find you...and take a nice sloppy shit on your face. (but in a good way)

Trip Boy
03-01-2005, 09:04 AM
The feeling is entirely mutual. Besides, ev'rytime you open your trap I go take a shit.

Oh sick! You're a girl...girls don't poop. You fucking sick twat. Eww!

Trip Boy
03-01-2005, 09:11 AM
I knew you'd say that.

Did you know I'd say this...

While every girl has the right to be ugly, you seem to have abused that privelige!

wliethof
03-01-2005, 09:13 AM
Nick the prick had a forty ft. dick,
He showed it to the lady next door.
She thought it was a snake,
And hit it with a rake,
And now it's only four ft. four



A limerick is a five-line poem written with one couplet and one triplet. If a couplet is a two-line rhymed poem, then a triplet would be a three-line rhymed poem. The rhyme pattern is a a b b a with lines 1, 2 and 5 containing 3 beats and rhyming, and lines 3 and 4 having two beats and rhyming. Some people say that the limerick was invented by soldiers returning from France to the Irish town of Limerick in the 1700's.

hmm .

no, I didnt read the thread.

Trip Boy
03-01-2005, 09:14 AM
hmm .

Make one then faggot.

Trip Boy
03-01-2005, 09:16 AM
Lol that's coming from a guy who cannot go out without a hood lol!!!!!!!

I haven't a clue what you mean. I've come across rotting bodies that are less offensive than you are.

wliethof
03-01-2005, 09:16 AM
Make one then faggot.

er was eens een vrouwtje uit epen,
die had het voltooid deelwoord niet goed begrepen.
ze vroeg na haar daad,
met een mond vol met zaad,
heb ik nu gepijpt of gepepen?

Trip Boy
03-01-2005, 09:20 AM
Apparently, you live at a delightful place. Or perhaps it was only a holiday trip.

What?? I'm as confused as a hungry baby in a topless bar.

Trip Boy
03-01-2005, 09:25 AM
I knew you were hopeless, but I thought English wasn't utterly unknown to you.

I was just thinking what a charming neighborhood was yours, where you come across rotting bodies just about every day.

Did I tell you you make me laugh? Better than maths for my spirits.

Thanks! How about a blow job?

Trip Boy
03-01-2005, 09:28 AM
Got dough? Anyway I don't have a paypal account so get lost. My smile has faded away and you've riled me up. Jerk off.

So...is that a yes?

wliethof
03-01-2005, 09:37 AM
you two should meet up and have sex :)

Trip Boy
03-01-2005, 09:38 AM
you two should meet up and have sex :)

I'm saying!

Trip Boy
03-01-2005, 10:39 AM
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

Trip Boy
03-01-2005, 10:41 AM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v396/NYStunner/sucks2beu.jpg

Izie
03-01-2005, 10:42 AM
er was eens een vrouwtje uit epen,
die had het voltooid deelwoord niet goed begrepen.
ze vroeg na haar daad,
met een mond vol met zaad,
heb ik nu gepijpt of gepepen?

My sensitivity for the Dutch language made that very funny :D

Trip Boy
03-01-2005, 10:44 AM
Is that you? You can lie, you know.

I can lie? Wow! Your joke was so good....i bet nobody would have ever thought of that one!

Trip Boy
03-01-2005, 10:46 AM
You're about as useful as a Condom vending machine in the Vatican.

Ken Jennings
03-01-2005, 10:21 PM
There once was a guy called Ken,
Who was the epitome of all sexist men,
He liked girls I'm sure,
And women even more,
But it was his Coke who was his ultimate friend

Best limerick ever.

dirtybird
03-01-2005, 10:40 PM
Haha this thread cracks me up



Don't try to pass that one off as your own, even if you did change the words around just a tad.

He didn't say they had to be original. And it technically is my own; I combined two that I had forgotten the other halfs of.

Trip Boy
03-02-2005, 05:36 PM
There was a man from Khartoum
who took a lesbian up to his room.
They argued all night
over who had the right
to do what, for how much and to whom.

Trip Boy
03-07-2005, 08:27 AM
There once was a man from Nantucket
With a dick so long he could ssuck it.
While doing his wife,
he folded twice,
so that when he was coming he went.

dirtybird
03-07-2005, 09:46 PM
If you could suck your own dick, would you?

Trip Boy
03-09-2005, 03:39 PM
If you could suck your own dick, would you?

Yes, then I wouldn't need girlfriends.

dirtybird
03-09-2005, 09:45 PM
That's fucking nasty.

Trip Boy
03-09-2005, 10:32 PM
Cry me a river bitch.

Trip Boy
03-15-2005, 06:33 PM
I'm wearing my heart like a crown!

Trip Boy
03-29-2005, 12:41 PM
There was a young lady of Natchez
Who was chanced to be born with two snatches,
And she often said, "Shit! Why, I'd give either tit
For a man with equipment that matches."

HeadAroundU
03-29-2005, 12:55 PM
There was a little Trip boy
he was such a stupid boy
All kids saying:
Take a life you fuckin' loser
Yeah I know I'm such a poseur

Trip Boy
03-29-2005, 01:09 PM
There was a man from Boston
who bought himself an Austin.
There was room for his ass
and a gallon of gas
but his balls hung out and he lost them.

TrippingOut
03-29-2005, 02:04 PM
There once was a man named Fred,
A metal plate in his head,
He frolicked and skipped,
and hopped, then tripped,
As a lightning bolt struck him dead.


:o I suck

Trip Boy
03-29-2005, 02:06 PM
There was as old couple named kelly
who went through life belly to belly
for it seems in their taste,
they used library paste
instead of petroleum jelly.

Trip Boy
03-31-2005, 09:06 AM
There once was a lass from Madrass
Who had a magnificent ass
Not rounded and pink as you probably think
It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass.

Trip Boy
04-12-2005, 06:28 PM
There once was a man from Racine,
Who invented a screwing machine.
Concave or convex,
It would do either sex,
But oh what a bastard to clean.

Trip Boy
04-13-2005, 01:27 PM
Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard,
to get her poor dog a bone.
But when she bent over,
old Rover drove her,
Cause Rover had a bone of his own.