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HornyPope
03-09-2005, 11:20 AM
This comes from an archive that once existed on the bbs.offspring.com ftp. Sadly summer of 2001 is the oldest back I could find. The rest was evidently deleted by WebDude. Ah, the good ol' days. How innocent and stupid we were. I tried to avoid particulary embarrassing topics (especially featuring myself) but some I couldn't help but share with you.

Here they are, kindly hosted by mr. The Molotov:

http://www.skratch-zero.com/oldoffspringposts/

sKratch
03-09-2005, 11:24 AM
Using my old name to add to the nostalgia, eh? I'm upset by the lack of posts by me :[

HornyPope
03-09-2005, 11:32 AM
Can't find you. I'll just share your public profile then.

The Molotov
skratch0@hotmail.com
http://www.eternalaftermath.com
Vocalist in Eternal Aftermath/Student
Psst... behind you! www.eternalaftermath.com
2113
Member
My band, Eternal Aftermath
07-28-2000

sig :

Damn skippy!<BR>Time is money, I've got niether.<BR><A HREF="http://www.eternalaftermath.com" TARGET=_blank>www.eternalaftermath.com</A> , now with pictures of my dick!<BR> <A HREF="http://www.cloud9.net/~skratch" TARGET=_blank> http://www.users.cloud9.net/~skratch/images/EternalAftermathSkull1_small.jpg </A>

Just a Girl
03-09-2005, 11:54 AM
wow, those are really odd to read. everyone was young! madness

Linda
03-09-2005, 12:04 PM
Ahh, indeed, the good ole days!

Nina
03-09-2005, 12:07 PM
there is seriously ONE complete topic of me and a person
named Johnny talking about sending emails to each other?
hehehehehehehe. awesome.
and its weird to see all this...i cant remember any of that
crap.

Izie
03-09-2005, 12:09 PM
Eeeeeeeee, kiddies! I wasn't a post-whore back then obviously :/ I should get back to my old ways *sigh*

Anya82
03-09-2005, 12:21 PM
i wish i was part of those times......
*sigh*

Mota Boy
03-09-2005, 01:00 PM
This is like... it's like looking back at my high school year book, only it's a much more accurate representation of the experience.

And I guess, like high school, many of the members are graduating and wandering off to new bbs's. It's just too bad that we don't have the equivalent of a state college.

HornyPope
03-09-2005, 01:24 PM
I even found one topic where I argue about communism vis a vis capitalism on the practical sense... wow do I look like a fucking idiot in retrospect. No way am I posting that one.

Vera
03-09-2005, 01:39 PM
DG really isn't as hot as she claimed to be, though.

sKratch
03-09-2005, 01:46 PM
The best is the one Vlad showed me with Betty assuring us that she's God's gift to man.

HornyPope
03-09-2005, 01:46 PM
Haha no shit, remember everyone actually believed it? Wish I had more topics to dig from.

the_GoDdEsS
03-09-2005, 02:11 PM
Haha, weren't we all a little different? I don't know. And I'm sorta glad I haven't seen myself there. It does bring back some funny memories though.

I have like seven topics from around 2002 saved on my very old compy. Random nostalgia. I never felt like deleting them.

Oh yeah and I had mine and Iza's topics saved too just because we rule.

HornyPope
03-09-2005, 02:25 PM
I've seen one topic with you in, Sim. I'll have Skratch upload more stuff later this week, including:

-hot debates of backstreet boys vs the offspring,
-debates about homosexuality before Two-Faced Bastard came out of the closet,
-everyone ganging up on Mark because he's a fat sack of shit (and i'm saying this very objectively),
-couple of popularity contests,
-reminiscence of the days when I was funny (or at least tried),
-maybe i'll throw in a Steven Shaw topic
-when we tried to organize a union and present a petition to WebDude on how to ran this board before we collectively realized that he doesn't even check his email, let alone give a shit.
-and much more.

Stay tuned.

Naz
03-09-2005, 02:55 PM
Wow, I remember so many people.

And that backstree boy topic haha

the_GoDdEsS
03-09-2005, 03:00 PM
Haha, please do! I'll fucking love that.

Betty
03-09-2005, 03:03 PM
I saw one where I went on some rant and I closed it right away. Oh man. I don't even want to read it. I feel so embarassed already and I didn't even read what the topic was about. I'm assuming it can be nothing but bad.

HornyPope
03-09-2005, 03:16 PM
Because i'm a caring friend, i'll post the speach for you right here.


"And yes, I DO think highly of myself, as I do many other people. I'm not bragging that I'm smart, I'm stating it as a fact, since I was called stupid and took offense to it. And I AM very smart. School smart and life smart. Highest grades in the history of my school, like 95% overall average in grade 12 and OAC classes. 99 in grade 11 chemistry... 98 in grade 11 english... 98 in grade 11 biolgy... 96 I think in grade 12 physics... I have a fucking 98 right now in OAC algebra!!! Then there's life smart... and I'm incredibly life smart so shut the fuck up already. I'm gonna succeed so much in life, I could probably get into any university I wanted... and probably get a huge scholarship too. Plus, I know how life works, I'm not just some ignorant person. I know what's going on."

And there's much more...

Betty
03-09-2005, 03:22 PM
Awww... how sweet! I love you too Vlad.

Oh well, it's all true. I'm a genius.

And apparently that guy must have made me angry enough to (1) swear and (2) rant about my greatness.

*shame*

HornyPope
03-09-2005, 03:27 PM
How's Harvard treating you? Thinking of doing your PhD yet or you gonna wait to be granted an honourary professoriat like Nietzsche?

Betty
03-09-2005, 03:36 PM
I'm not old enough to be doing that yet, duh. But you won't be laughing when I win my nobel prize. *glares* Wow, if I think I'm full of myself now, I was way worse back then. Maybe uni actually has humbled me and I just didn't notice.

Those old threads are hilarious.

DG ranting about boobs.

Lots of spork.

"You", rocking as usual.

Me rating OffspringRulz21 as most idiotic poster. But that title definitely goes to Linda now.

Betty
03-09-2005, 03:38 PM
And apparently people that go to Harvard have very high suicide rates. I don't know if I'd be down with that. Maybe for my PDF.

HornyPope
03-09-2005, 04:09 PM
The closest you'll ever get to a nobel price is by waving your heads blindnessely towards the awards chiffonier as you're kneeling in my office with a penis deep in your throat. Honey, if there was ever a person on this BBS so full of himself he'd explode--that's me. Fear not, I claim not this title for a long while. I shall orgasm this load at the opportune moment. Only then you would you be full of it yourself. (ooo, another "serious insult" I made on the new board - Skratch, you keeping count?) How am I to claim the nobel prize? Simple. 1- Form a band of thugs. 2- set out to take as many lives as possible, 3- have a change of heart ten years into the business, 4- agree to lay down the arms, 5- add some more humanitarian work like weeping at the funeral of those you murdered, 6- win the nobel price. Ta da.

I'll make an appearance at the awards ceremony packing a sawed off shotgun, shoot down the meatball-loving Swedish academy, instore myself as the president for life, and award the following Nobel prizes exclusively to myself. Literature, science, peace, whatever. You won't have any. Na na na na na.


On the topic of You, I wonder how he's dealing with puberty. Has he grown as much as we have? I remember he attempted a comeback few years back but, having used up his 47693685323-ways-of-wording-Fuck-in-a-sentence card to the maximum, his attempt fell short on yawning folks. Eh, what can I say. Some people are best remembered for what they were.

TheUnholyNightbringer
03-09-2005, 04:13 PM
Please post a Steven Shaw topic.

Endymion
03-09-2005, 04:37 PM
yeah, more shaw please.

what's sad is that everyone's even more jaded then they were then.

Naz
03-09-2005, 05:11 PM
Does anyone have the thread where people were requesting Steven Shaw karaoke?

sKratch
03-09-2005, 05:16 PM
Hmmm if I didn't have this massive geography assignment that I'm not doing anyways I'd read all the topics.
My webspace is such a whore.

TheUnholyNightbringer
03-09-2005, 05:42 PM
I'm so desperate to find the topic in which I first posted as Minion of Redwall and said that I knew Punk Junkee. Some time in February 2002. I would love you for ever if you found that for me.

dirtybird
03-09-2005, 09:40 PM
Redwall.. ha.. I'd almost forgotten about those books.

Endymion
03-09-2005, 09:42 PM
I'm so desperate to find the topic in which I first posted as Minion of Redwall and said that I knew Punk Junkee. Some time in February 2002. I would love you for ever if you found that for me.

man, just leave that shit dead. any topic you posted in at that time would have some sort of thing about how nickelback were gods.

arak0r
03-09-2005, 10:34 PM
christ i was a nasty ill mannered bastard wasnt i :o

arak0r
03-09-2005, 10:35 PM
and awwww i remember heyjewdvd :(

HornyPope
03-10-2005, 12:01 AM
I don't have anything past autumn 2001. Get lost, newbies. *fixes the elitist hat*

More Shaw topics will be posted soon enough. Oh I wish, I wish I had his 'sex' topic saved; he wanted to let the BBS know he lost his virginity so he made a topic surveying whether we used protection, followed by his own example of how he didn't (or did he? i don't even remember - his own example is irrelvant). He couldn't have been more straight to the point if he had written in large font "please everyone acknowledge that I had sex with a girl" right in the middle of the thread. That topic ranks in my top ten ever. It's so brilliant I can shit twice. Oooo, oooo, and remember when he had his hotmail "hacked" because the answer to his secret question--where do I live--was, obviooooously, Walsall. I can't stress the 'obviously' long enough because if there's one thing Shaw cared to empathise was that he came from Walsall and carried an 'embarrassing accent' (by his own admission). Oh man, what a character.

He and Matt Vore made the board go round. Seriously. I mean, sure, there were a great deal of more "known" members on this board--like myself for example. Who doesn't know HornyPope, right? But it's not like im a subject of a conversation. I do nothing to warrant more attention than I probably deserve. But Shaw. Shaw! What a character. You can just chat with an old-timer and then one of you says "Hey, remember Shaw?" and you two burst into laughter. Ah, the priceless moments.

arak0r
03-10-2005, 12:42 AM
hahaha i remember when david (minion or whatever the heck he uses now) started posting. go figure he ends up being a better poster anyway, even after all that shaw related crap :D

i cant even remember all the matt vore shit cept him trying to e-pimp all the hoes here :\

Naz
03-10-2005, 02:50 AM
Shaw needs to come back to entertain us.

Tizzalicious
03-10-2005, 03:26 AM
I'm so desperate to find the topic in which I first posted as Minion of Redwall and said that I knew Punk Junkee. Some time in February 2002. I would love you for ever if you found that for me.

You didn't say you knew me, you said I was hot :p

Mota Boy
03-10-2005, 07:24 AM
I don't have anything past autumn 2001. Get lost, newbies. *fixes the elitist hat*

Do you have anything from August '00? Some of my first few haltering attempts at online communication should be around there, though I doubt too many of them are very memberable.

Vera
03-10-2005, 08:12 AM
I think I had a life back in 2001, though I had joined. I only became a regular around 2002, basically because everyone pissed me off before that or because I just didn't give a hell.

Trip Boy
03-10-2005, 08:12 AM
You don't have a life now?

Vera
03-10-2005, 08:20 AM
There was absolutely nothing witty, insulting or REALLY offensive about your post above.

I am highly disappointed. Fuck off, faker.

Trip Boy
03-10-2005, 08:27 AM
What? Fucking bitchface. I wasn't even trying to insult you. You said that you "I think I had a life in 2001"....and I was asking if you that meant you dont have one now. I was being 100% serious fucking whore bag.

Vera
03-10-2005, 08:33 AM
Which makes you a bloody crap actor, which was exactly my point.

Assface.

Trip Boy
03-10-2005, 08:34 AM
Not trying to act anymore. Where the fuck have you been? Jump on the bandwagon groupie.

Little_Miss_1565
03-10-2005, 09:04 AM
I think I had a life back in 2001, though I had joined. I only became a regular around 2002, basically because everyone pissed me off before that or because I just didn't give a hell.

hehe, I definately did NOT have a life in 2001, and I'm barely to be found in the posts that the Pope posted.

Trip Boy
03-10-2005, 09:39 AM
I never had a life if that makes you feel better.

HornyPope
03-10-2005, 01:21 PM
The earliest archive I have is april 2001. The posts were pruned within certain intervals so when the hax0ring episode occured, I only had acess to what hasn't been deleted it. Alas 2000 was long gone by then. I had another attempt to save the archives from 2002-2003 this time when I gained control of the board yet again, but stupid, stupid, stupid me didn't bother to download the UBB folder (where all the html form of the posts was stored).


Justin, do you use pill or condom when you have sex with TWO girls?

Linda
03-11-2005, 06:46 AM
Besides, getting a fair share of threesomes is something worth gloating over.

Only if you have an interest in that type of thing. I personally find it disgusting.

HornyPope
03-14-2005, 01:37 PM
Updated.

http://www.skratch-zero.com/oldoffspringposts/

Vera
03-14-2005, 01:56 PM
Everyone truly had worse capitalization and punctuation and stuff back then...

The gay topic is a riot. Heyyoudvd is well, he's an idiot, obviously.

Little_Miss_1565
03-14-2005, 02:06 PM
Updated.

http://www.skratch-zero.com/oldoffspringposts/

Goddamn, more drama than Degrassi!

the_GoDdEsS
03-14-2005, 02:18 PM
Holy shit, is that Matt Vore the cyberwhore in the Friends/Enemies topics? *laughing fit*

sKratch
03-14-2005, 02:18 PM
Let's pretend there's posts by me in there.

the_GoDdEsS
03-14-2005, 02:21 PM
A Shaw rant about women! Hahaha.

Sorry, I just got so excited about all the stuff.

arak0r
03-14-2005, 02:23 PM
ahh some of that shit is so amusing

Mota Boy
03-14-2005, 02:58 PM
The plethora of enemies that every single person listed alone is testament to the greatness of that board.

nieh
03-14-2005, 04:13 PM
there's not enough me there to keep me interested...and I have a feeling that if there was anymore of me, I would become even less interested. I hate who I used to be.

sKratch
03-14-2005, 04:41 PM
There appears to be zero of me :[

nieh
03-14-2005, 04:48 PM
There appears to be zero of me :[

the only things I found by me were something like

"GRILLED CHEESE!
best sandwich ever"

and

"heh...Break wants to be covered in nut sauce"

Faded Soul
03-14-2005, 04:58 PM
DG really isn't as hot as she claimed to be, though.


DG is so hot, I want to rape her.

hehe :o

sKratch
03-14-2005, 05:13 PM
The best were the blatantly obscene comments made by DG about break.

nieh
03-14-2005, 05:27 PM
I liked the parts where Nina was cursing someone off.

Not Ozymandias
06-15-2005, 01:53 AM
How did you find all of those? Are there more?

Vera
06-15-2005, 03:06 AM
I like the part where Linda was actually pretty decent back then.

Looking at the "friends, enemies, admirers"-post, some of the people she hates nowadays actually mention her as a friend.

Sin Studly
06-15-2005, 03:45 AM
I don't think I've changed that much since the old days. I'm still racist, misogynist, hatefilled, bitter, jaded and angry. My life experiences haven't changed me at all. Hooray!

RXP
06-15-2005, 03:51 AM
oyu guys tried to dig something up from www.archive.org?

Not Ozymandias
06-15-2005, 03:51 AM
Holy shit, is that Matt Vore the cyberwhore in the Friends/Enemies topics? *laughing fit*
What was his screenname? He was before my time, so I'd always assumed it was "Matt Vore"...

Vera
06-15-2005, 04:11 AM
killboy_powerhead or some variation thereof.

Oh, and he was Trendy Girl, too.

wheelchairman
06-15-2005, 04:34 AM
The only post by me was terribly unfunny.

"What kind of sandwich would you be?"

WCM: "Peanut butter and shit"

Fuck I was like Ruroken's long lost cousin back then.

hehe and I was on Break's hate list. I was going through one of more obscure periods back then (i.e. not able to get online at the time.)

2001. Jesus christ.

Vera
06-15-2005, 04:38 AM
What a crazy, wild year on the internets.

Sin Studly
06-15-2005, 04:51 AM
Am I the only person who wasn't embarrassed by my old self?

TheUnholyNightbringer
06-15-2005, 05:43 AM
I wish I could see more of my M of R posts.

Not Ozymandias
06-15-2005, 08:42 PM
More? Where can you see any?

HornyPope
06-15-2005, 10:51 PM
I have the old board on a rar (actually tar.gz- since its linux) file, remember Oz-meister? I posted the best topics for everyone to see. I have more of those spread around, somewhere. Bug me sometimes and i'll upload another batch onto Skratch's server.

sKratch
06-15-2005, 11:15 PM
Pff, no you won't. I'll get an IM saying "here upload these and add the url's to the folder index so it's easy to browse." And then I'll do it because I ph33r your pensi :[

Vera
06-16-2005, 02:33 AM
Let's all say, "Awwwww!", everyone!

Endymion
06-16-2005, 02:38 AM
send the tar to me and i can dump it all onto a csulb prof's webspace.