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KappaWing
03-13-2005, 12:01 PM
I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......

- she called me to get my phone number.

- she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said
"concentrate."

- she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

- she got stabbed in a shoot-out.

- she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK."

- she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

- she sat on the TV and watched the couch.

- she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

- she tried to drown a fish.

- she thought a quarterback was a refund.

- she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

- if you gave her a penny for her thoughts, you'd get change back.

- they had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade.

- under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics."

- she tripped over a cordless phone.

- she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

- at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here"...she put Sagittarius."

- she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.

- it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.

- if she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless.

- she studied for a blood test.

- she thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center.

- she thought Meow Mix was a record for cats.

- she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.

- she sold the car for gas money.

- when she saw the "NC-17" (under 17 not admitted), she went home and got 16
friends.

- when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

- she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill.

- when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.

- when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left"
she turned around and went home.

Wheee! Begin posting your blonde jokes!

Noodles is gay
03-13-2005, 12:03 PM
I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......

- she tried to drown a fish.

You know it's possible to drown a fish right? :cool:

JohnnyNemesis
03-13-2005, 12:06 PM
I said this joke in another thread, bu I forgot which:

Q: How can you tell when a blonde is having a bad day?
A: She has a tampon behind her ear and she can't find her pencil.

BuddyHolly
03-13-2005, 12:07 PM
You know it's possible to drown a fish right? :cool:
i thought you could drown em by pulling them backwards or something like that...

KappaWing
03-13-2005, 12:29 PM
i thought you could drown em by pulling them backwards or something like that...


Ah! Correct! Their gill systems only work when they're traveling forwards or are not moving, as the water intakes face forward.

offspring kid
03-13-2005, 12:46 PM
a father went to check her daughter in her room

she was'nt in her room

he was looking here and there

he found a CONDOM in her room

and said ( OH MY GOD mY DAUGHTER HAS A PENIS )

coke_a_holic
03-13-2005, 12:54 PM
A Blonde is at a soda machine. She puts a dollar in and presses the button and a soda comes out. She continues doing it for about 20 minutes when a man comes up and waits behind her. After about 5 minutes of the routine the man asks her if he could just buy a coke and then she can continue with whatever shes doing. She replies, "No way, im on a winning streak!"

coke_a_holic
03-13-2005, 01:05 PM
Haha no one ever reads my jokes... theyre way too long.

JoY
03-13-2005, 02:14 PM
I said this joke in another thread, bu I forgot which:

Q: How can you tell when a blonde is having a bad day?
A: She has a tampon behind her ear and she can't find her pencil.
THAT one I liked. man, sounds like me. I'm one chaotic blonde, I tell you.

BuddyHolly
03-13-2005, 03:45 PM
You got to be a really chaotic blonde to do that! :rolleyes:

dirtybird
03-13-2005, 03:47 PM
.... that's funny in a sick way... ew... a pencil... in there... hm...

Getting ideas?

dirtybird
03-13-2005, 03:48 PM
What the hell is a chaotic blonde?

nitropenguin!
03-13-2005, 03:53 PM
She's blonde.. and chaotic. What else is there to say about it?

dirtybird
03-13-2005, 04:08 PM
She's blonde.. and chaotic. What else is there to say about it?

I just don't think those words work well togehter..

nitropenguin!
03-13-2005, 04:15 PM
Uhm.. absent-minded blonde? Blonde that suits the labels? I don't know, hehe.

dirtybird
03-13-2005, 04:16 PM
Oh well. I no longer care.

Linda
03-13-2005, 04:43 PM
cha·os ( P ) Pronunciation Key (ks)
n.
A condition or place of great disorder or confusion.
A disorderly mass; a jumble: The desk was a chaos of papers and unopened letters.
often Chaos The disordered state of unformed matter and infinite space supposed in some cosmogonic views to have existed before the ordered universe.
Mathematics. A dynamical system that has a sensitive dependence on its initial conditions.
Obsolete. An abyss; a chasm.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Middle English, formless primordial space, from Latin, from Greek khaos.]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
cha·otic (-tk) adj.
cha·oti·cal·ly adv.

MightyDux
03-13-2005, 05:00 PM
a blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here
>and
> > help
> >> >>>me.
> >> >>>
> >> >>>I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get
>it
> >> >>>started."
> >> >>>
> >> >>>Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's
>finished?"
> >> >>>
> >> >>>The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a
>tiger."
> >> >>>
> >> >>>Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She
>lets
> >> >>>him
> >> >>>in
> >> >>>
> >> >>>and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
>He
> >> >>>
> >> >>>studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns
>to
> >> >>>
> >> >>>her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going
>to
> > be
> >> >>>able
> >> >>>
> >> >>>to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."
> >> >>>
> >> >>>He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's
>have a
> >> >>>
> >> >>>nice cup of tea, and then....." he sighed, "...let's put all these
> >> >>>
> >> >>>Frosted Flakes back in the box

StayInTheHouseCarl
03-13-2005, 10:08 PM
a brunette and a blond are taking a roadtrip and get stranded in the middle of the desert. they decide that it would be easier to take only one essential item each. the brunette picks up a bag containing some food, and bottles of water. she turns around to see the blond ripping off the car door. "what the hell are you bringing that for?" the blond replies "If it gets too hot, we could roll down the window".

dirtybird
03-13-2005, 10:09 PM
a blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here
>and
> > help
> >> >>>me.
> >> >>>
> >> >>>I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get
>it
> >> >>>started."
> >> >>>
> >> >>>Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's
>finished?"
> >> >>>
> >> >>>The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a
>tiger."
> >> >>>
> >> >>>Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She
>lets
> >> >>>him
> >> >>>in
> >> >>>
> >> >>>and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
>He
> >> >>>
> >> >>>studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns
>to
> >> >>>
> >> >>>her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going
>to
> > be
> >> >>>able
> >> >>>
> >> >>>to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."
> >> >>>
> >> >>>He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's
>have a
> >> >>>
> >> >>>nice cup of tea, and then....." he sighed, "...let's put all these
> >> >>>
> >> >>>Frosted Flakes back in the box

Don't use arrows like that ever again. EVER.

ThatOneGuy123
03-13-2005, 10:14 PM
If you ask a blonde what sound potatoes make it will say "potato"......

dirtybird
03-13-2005, 10:15 PM
That's pretty lame, but you're cool and you have a nice avatar so I won't say anything else.

ThatOneGuy123
03-13-2005, 10:23 PM
I know that was lame...I INVENTED IT,jk......I have no blonde jokes,how is this possible?am I i'll I wonder? eh oh well..let us ramble...A blonde walks into a bar,a man says "Would you please give me a blow job?" she says "Well..I am bored so..ok" they go in the backroom and he drops his trunks and shivvies the blonde looks at him and says "Why did you pull your pants and underwear down?" he says "You told me you would give me a blow job." she gets up and blows on his face,neck,and hands and says "there is your blow job now what are you gonna do for me?" he then says "You dumbass" and stabs her with a knife

dirtybird
03-13-2005, 10:26 PM
Hahahahahahaha. I like the plain patheticness of that joke and the sudden ending. That's great.

JoY
03-14-2005, 02:44 AM
a blonde chick goes to a hairdresser. she has her headphones on & she seems to be rather attached to them, so the hairdresser decides not to say anything about it. while cutting her hair, he notices he accidently cut the wire of her headphones. he waits a few seconds, but the blonde doesn't react & he just hopes she never noticed it. he cuts her hair, then blowdries it, carefully styles it, but when he proudly holds a mirror behind her head to show her the result, she appears to be dead. he listens to the tape in her recorder to see if there's any connection. when he turns it on, it says; "breathe in....breathe out....breathe in....breathe out.."