PDA

View Full Version : ruroken television



ruroken
03-29-2005, 05:04 PM
Here to show you I can be funny, here it is:

Notes: Baldy's Adventure is an RPG I made a long time ago. It no longer exists
because I needed room on my memeory card.
I there's no name or anything around the words, then it's the "Creator" who's
speaking.

Pirate Ship segment:
Captain:"My crew's so damn stupid, they installed a toilet on
the poop deck and they STILL shit on the floor!"
Baldy:"Uh... okay..."

Fiery Garbage Segment:
*opens chest*
You got nothing!
Baldy:"Yay! Nothing!"

Baldy:"You're completely aware of how poorly planned this script
is and that the script isn't in any particular order to make it
easier for the readre to understand, and how not much of it
makes sense because the story's so fucked up, right?"

I planned it that way on purpose.

Baldy:"You suck at lying."

Indeed.

Mental Institution Segment:
Assface:"I eat my own shit!"
Baldy:"Damn. I was hoping that was chocolate on your face."
Assface:"Would you like some more?"
Baldy:"Sure."


Timely Times Newspaper Segment:
"Newspaper runs out of REAL news."
Baldy:"Finally admitting it."

Keep reading.

"But agrees on how much Baldy sucks and the world is
planning to assassinate him."
Baldy:"That's not funny."

You know it is.

Casino Segment:
Baldy:"I got a full house."

That's nasty...

Bunny Girl:"Especially since you got it all over me!"
Baldy:"Cool. It went through my pants!"

You're not wearing any...

Baldy:"I know!"

Keth's House segment:
Baldy:"Cool."
Keth:"What?"
Baldy:"I don't know. I can't think of anything to say, so I
say 'cool'."

That's empty...

Baldy:"Whatever. I can't think of anything to say."
Keth:"Cool."

No comment.

Misc. Events:

Baldy:"I'm so sick of being single and having to work with my hands
to have fun!"

Then buy "Dating for the dumbass/dickhead who's so stupid, he
doesn't even know what day his own birthday is on!"

Baldy:"That's not true! My birthday's on... um... uh...
a day like today! Only, it's not today!


Misc. Event 2 will be posted later due to length.
I suggest you go to www.angelfire.com/art2/dgnanashi/kj
and read my comics there as well. Here are my favorite one's:
Index 1:
issue 7
issue 8
issue 12

index 2:
I can't remember these...

Thank you for reading, I truly hope you enjoyed it. Read ALL of it if you did
not because you should find at least one thing funny. Not all of it is exactly the same kind of humor. Still, thank you for at least coming to my thread.

Proph
03-29-2005, 05:06 PM
I didn't read the whole thing but i'm sure its very funny. Send it to me in a PM and ill read it.

ruroken
03-29-2005, 05:12 PM
Um... okay. Sure. I'll do that now. Thanks.

Trip Boy
03-29-2005, 05:17 PM
I didn't read the whole thing but i'm sure its very funny. Send it to me in a PM and ill read it.

How will it be more readable in a PM? Can't you just fucking read it now? It's the same damn thing.

ruroken
03-29-2005, 05:18 PM
How will it be more readable in a PM? Can't you just fucking read it now? It's the same damn thing.
what should I do to make it more readable? :confused:

turb0negr0
03-29-2005, 05:19 PM
I got to the casino part, and didn't laugh once, it wasn't very funny...

ruroken
03-29-2005, 05:23 PM
goddamn it I hate this!!!! I suck at making funnys!! Fine then, it'll be misc. comments on stuff. Damn it!! Thank you for reading.

JohnnyNemesis
03-29-2005, 05:27 PM
what should I do to make it more readable? :confused:

Delete it.

Seriously dude, not only was that not funny, it was incredibly unfunny. Humor in reverse, I'd call it.

Proph
03-29-2005, 05:29 PM
How will it be more readable in a PM? Can't you just fucking read it now? It's the same damn thing.

No, its not. I dont know why but its not.

ruroken
03-29-2005, 05:34 PM
Ah, but some people will find this funny. It just hasn't gotten full attention. But that's if those who viewed my other jokes don't completely hate me now...

ruroken
03-29-2005, 05:49 PM
I might post my conversation with myself later today.

turb0negr0
03-29-2005, 05:52 PM
wow, I bet that was fun...

ruroken
03-29-2005, 05:54 PM
It actually was. Here it is:Okay. I'll try to quote it.




You're stuff's bullshit. My mom says funnier stuff than you. I hope you fucking die cause your sense of humor is for the retarded birds. Make that crows. Dead crows. Stupid unfunny bastard!!!

Sincerely,

ruroken the great. He's better and funnier than you, normal ruroken.




That's the first part...


part two (part one is based upon the opinions of people like jonnynemisis)
(i know I probably spelled that wrong)




my dog has a funnier face than you!! Bastard!! This is my territory!! I am the one everyone likes! I'm just a pitiful comedian sometimes... but I'm better than you, ruroken the great!!!!!!

sincerely,

ruroken the normal




There it is. My oddly idiotic conversation with myself...

poorly copied...

JohnnyNemesis
03-29-2005, 06:00 PM
Stop trying so hard. For your own sake. And I'm not trying to be mean or anything either.

Homer
03-29-2005, 06:04 PM
im a fucking moron.... sorry.... wasn't trying to be funny

ruroken
03-29-2005, 06:04 PM
It'd be easier if you TOLD ME what you find funny.

explaination

example

JohnnyNemesis
03-29-2005, 06:06 PM
That would just make it worse-the key is for humor to come naturally to you. If I told you what I found funny, you would just do the same exact thing you're doing now: trying too hard. That's the problem: effort.

ruroken
03-29-2005, 06:07 PM
look at the stick figure in the sky.

DAMN YOU FUCKING STICK FIGURE!!! GET THE FUCK DOWN AND HAVE SOME TEA!!!!!

How's that?

JohnnyNemesis
03-29-2005, 06:09 PM
I've been repeating myself since last night. The part about too much effort. I officially give up...now.

TheUnholyNightbringer
03-29-2005, 06:11 PM
Ah, but some people will find this funny

Who, exactly? The same people who liked Garfield: The Movie, I suppose?

JohnnyNemesis
03-29-2005, 06:14 PM
Ayyyy Dave, good to see ya on the BBS again.

TheUnholyNightbringer
03-29-2005, 06:16 PM
Missing my own unique brand of judgement and cynicalism?

(Is that a word? Cynicalness didn't sound right.)

ruroken
03-29-2005, 06:18 PM
Damn it. I didn't really try. Okay... no effort...

I'll work on it.

In other news, ruroken the great was run over by a car repeatedly before being eating by crows who then murmured "ruroken the normal is better..."

^just the stupidly "unfunny" stuff I like to say :D

JohnnyNemesis
03-29-2005, 06:18 PM
Missing my own unique brand of judgement and cynicalism?

(Is that a word? Cynicalness didn't sound right.)

The answer to the original question is yes, and in response to your second query, I do believe "cynicism" is the word you were looking for!

TheUnholyNightbringer
03-29-2005, 06:19 PM
Johnny, I love you. Let's make a comedy double-act.

JohnnyNemesis
03-29-2005, 06:22 PM
I've already got my cane, along with my pinstriped hat and suit; yours is in the mail!

ruroken
03-29-2005, 06:23 PM
I am the great comedic act here!!! Actually, this thread also contains public access, so I would greatly appreciate you doing so.

TheUnholyNightbringer
03-29-2005, 06:23 PM
Nono, we need to be much more upmarket.

...

Let's have pinstriped bowler hats too!

TheUnholyNightbringer
03-29-2005, 06:24 PM
I am the great comedic act here!!! Actually, this thread also contains public access, so I would greatly appreciate you doing so.

You still here? Because Johnny and I are trying to TALK, if you don't mind.

JohnnyNemesis
03-29-2005, 06:25 PM
^Bias removed, that post was pure gold!

ruroken
03-29-2005, 06:25 PM
okay, tell me when you're finished.

TheUnholyNightbringer
03-29-2005, 06:41 PM
See, now we're being silent just to screw with you.

ruroken
03-29-2005, 06:46 PM
*sniff* you're so mean...

ruroken
03-29-2005, 06:58 PM
I... can't think of anything to say.

Am I less funny than wisconsinhomer? <I ask because a lot of people hate him

TheUnholyNightbringer
03-29-2005, 06:59 PM
Wisconsinhomer is the epitome of unfunny. His jokes are idiotic and unoriginal, his so called "humour" is immature and ridiculous, and I suspect in real life that his delivery has the timing and wit of a train wreck.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is.. yes, you're less funny than wisconsinhomer.

nitropenguin!
03-29-2005, 07:06 PM
He may not be funny, but he's nice. He made a thread for me.

Regarding wisconsin, as I've said before, "I everlastingly read wisconsinhomer's with a straight face. He never humored me whatsoever."

It's just impossible. Bird is funnier.

TheUnholyNightbringer
03-29-2005, 07:08 PM
Hey, don't ruin it. You know I love to kick people when they're down. And if they're not down, kick them until they are.

But I do kid. No one is less funny than wisconsinhomer. Ruroken is kind of funny sort of. I see potential.

ruroken
03-29-2005, 07:10 PM
I am the happiest I have ever been. :)

TheUnholyNightbringer
03-29-2005, 07:12 PM
Should be. That's a high blessing. Now, be funnier and you will forever be the guy who I didn't know but then was funnier. And you know you want that honour.

nitropenguin!
03-29-2005, 07:12 PM
I am the happiest I have ever been. :)
Wow your life must be very uneventful, then.

ruroken
03-29-2005, 07:13 PM
I truly do. I hope I earn it.

ruroken
03-29-2005, 07:13 PM
Wow your life must be very uneventful, then.
it's either that or highly painful

JohnnyNemesis
03-29-2005, 07:14 PM
Wow your life must be very uneventful, then.

Word up, friend.

TheUnholyNightbringer
03-29-2005, 07:14 PM
Wow your life must be very uneventful, then.

'scuse me. He should be happy. He recieved a very high blessing from The Church of Nights Unholy.

JohnnyNemesis
03-29-2005, 07:16 PM
I better be featured on the stained glass windows of that church, dagnabbit!

TheUnholyNightbringer
03-29-2005, 07:17 PM
Of course. And a big statue of you saluting some pensioners.

I run a very weird church.

ruroken
03-29-2005, 07:43 PM
This is a slow one, but it gets funny after the inicial idiotic conversation. Er... HIGHLY idiotic.

"You can have cheese, FREE!"
Baldy:"Not unless it comes with porn"
"Not in a million years would anyone give away free porn!"
Baldy:"Not unless they want big sales"

I've lost track of the conversation.
Baldy:"Where am I?"
Uh... here?
Baldy:"Oh! That's right!"
And so, Baldy died. The end.
Baldy:"But I'm still here, dumbass!"
I know.
Baldy:"You're such an asshole."
That's your problem.
B:"Leave me alone!"
I can't...
B:"This is going nowhere..."
no... shit...
b:"Whoever wrote this stupid, shitty script is so fucking retarded, he probably thought he could lay eggs!"
this conversation is painful...
B:"Let's go kill the creator!"

due to the lack of compliance in the main character, we're gonna have to "persuade" him to act like I don't exist...

please stand by...

The problem is being fixed...

B:"NO!!! NOT MY HAPPY TOY!!!! I NEED THAT TO PLAY WITH!!!"

technical difficulties...
technical difficulties....
technical difficulties...
technical difficulties...

There we go!
B:"I will never act-"

technical difficulties....

B:"................................"
B:"You suck. There's nothing else to say since that incident. So go to hell, asswipe. If you want your crappy ass script that's oozing shit everywhere to be funny, then don't cut off my wang. Now I can't talk about anything except how much you, the creator, suck cheese!!!"

Sigh... let's end this painfully shitty script...

ruroken
03-29-2005, 07:45 PM
I forgot to say that it's misc. event #2^

TheUnholyNightbringer
03-29-2005, 07:46 PM
Oh yes, that's just what I was wondering. That bit of info made it all fantastic. Well done!

Isolated Fury
03-29-2005, 07:46 PM
I'm sorry, man. It's just not funny. You're trying to be something you're not. If you just stop trying, I'm sure you'll be MUCH funnier.

TheUnholyNightbringer
03-29-2005, 07:47 PM
Listen to Isolated Fury. She speaks much wisdom.

ruroken
03-29-2005, 07:48 PM
What would that be, exactly? A comedian?

TheUnholyNightbringer
03-29-2005, 07:49 PM
Just reply to stuff how you want to reply to it. Not how you think you should.

Isolated Fury
03-29-2005, 07:50 PM
Listen to Isolated Fury. She speaks much wisdom.

Wow, thanks for the compliment, man. But I've got bad news. I'm a guy. Haha.... :rolleyes:

TheUnholyNightbringer
03-29-2005, 07:50 PM
You are?

Shit. Many apologies.

ruroken
03-29-2005, 07:50 PM
Okay. But this is my thread... so... what am I not here?

TheUnholyNightbringer
03-29-2005, 07:51 PM
Good suggestion. Off you go then.

Isolated Fury
03-29-2005, 07:52 PM
You are?

Shit. Many apologies.

Haha....Yeah, I am. It's okay, though. It's not really defined very well in my messages or avatar/signature.

nitropenguin!
03-29-2005, 08:01 PM
I have always known Fury was a male. That's how connected I am with the board vibe, maaan. Get with it.

ruroken
03-29-2005, 08:35 PM
Ruroken makes me sad.
i'm sorry...

coke_a_holic
03-29-2005, 09:03 PM
Ruroken you have ruined my life. Not only was your thread pointless, but also, it was a horrible attempt at trying to prove yourself. If you want to make "a funny" stab yourself in the eye on camera and post the video on the site. Make sure there is blood and horrible shreaking.

ruroken
03-29-2005, 09:04 PM
Ruroken you have ruined my life. Not only was your thread pointless, but also, it was a horrible attempt at trying to prove yourself. If you want to make "a funny" stab yourself in the eye on camera and post the video on the site. Make sure there is blood and horrible shreaking.
you're an imbecile if i ruined your life.

coke_a_holic
03-29-2005, 09:08 PM
I was kidding. But really, reading those was like smacking my eyes with a bleeding fish.

ruroken
03-29-2005, 09:09 PM
i'm working on my humor. Just be patient and eventually you'll laugh.

coke_a_holic
03-29-2005, 09:16 PM
No. Stop. You shouldnt have to "work on it." The whole problem is you're trying to be something you're not. You need to just speak the way you want to and it'll probably be 1,000 times funnier than the drek you make up trying hard.

turb0negr0
03-29-2005, 09:17 PM
Maybe you should just give up.
By the time you get funny, everyone will already know you for being
"That guy that tries to be funny, but isn't"

ruroken
03-29-2005, 09:17 PM
define drek please

ruroken
03-29-2005, 09:18 PM
Maybe you should just give up.
By the time you get funny, everyone will already know you for being
"That guy that tries to be funny, but isn't"
hell, at least I don't post too much about "how great my avatar is" anymore, so stop complaining.

JohnnyNemesis
03-29-2005, 09:24 PM
i'm working on my humor.

I know I said it a million times already, and I know I said I quit already but goddammit ruroken hIHGDUILJ HDOI:J IFH FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

THIS IS NOT AN ISSUE OF PATIENCE OR WORK ETHIC! YOU WILL ONLY BE FUNNY IF YOU STOP TRYING!!!

For the love of all that is good in this world, how do we all have to tell it to you, and how many times do we have to tell it to you? You want morse code? Smoke signals? Hieroglyphics?! AS LONG AS YOU TRY, YOU WILL NEVER BE FUNNY!!!

dirtybird
03-29-2005, 09:25 PM
I've been repeating myself since last night. The part about too much effort. I officially give up...now.

If I were gay I'd give you a hug... how bout a sympathetic pat, instead?

fuckme
03-29-2005, 09:26 PM
You must have really pissed him off ruroken.

ruroken
03-29-2005, 09:28 PM
I seem to do that to people. I don't know why...

sorry. I'll stop. Seriously, I'll stop.

ruroken
03-30-2005, 01:07 PM
As you all know, it's my birthday!!

It's so much fun!! :D :D

ruroken
04-01-2005, 10:14 AM
Ruroken makes me sad.
Waahhhhhhhhhh... :( :( :( :(

Editor Of God
04-06-2005, 05:28 PM
THat wasnt that funny u need to get a better one or just stop.

ruroken
04-07-2005, 08:26 PM
Wha...? Better what?

cowbell
07-05-2005, 08:34 PM
I will post fun shit here. Mwha... er... yay...