PDA

View Full Version : Internet dating



Izie
04-10-2005, 06:27 AM
Yay or nay?

I'd definitely go for the nay - how well can you really know people online? They can be someone completely different from what they say they are. And if you're apart, can you really expect to have a relationship where the other (or even you) won't cheat due to the physical separation? Seriously, it's just a bag of illusions for a bunch of insecure kids who can't find people to be with in their own environment.

Edit: This turned out to be a serious topic, so I've decided to get serious too. In this case, I need to say that my "nay" is a big fat lie, and also completely insane, coming for me. I'll leave it there though, just because I feel like it.

I'll go for the yay now and elaborate later.

Jackish
04-10-2005, 06:34 AM
Inbetween yay and nay.

To be honest, you'd have to speak to someone online for over a year every day, and properly, to say you knew them/have them as friends. Believe me, you can tell if someone is legit it or not. It doesn't take rocket science. You just naturally get to see them/talk to them on the phone and stuff like that. Personally it can be ok for some people, but people do act differently online. Having casual friends online is good, but dating? I don't know about that - Dating sites/sites like myspace.com are a big no-no...

Long distance relationships don't work. I've had one, and I put alot of effort into it. I mean, shit loads. It has/did leave me emotionally drained for a long, long time when it finally folded in on itself. I wouldn't recommend a long distance relationship to anyone (100 miles apart) enless your over 18 and fully responsible. People in different countries trying to hold a relationship should 'get a grip on reality', as it were. As much as I like alot of american 'gurlz', it aint gonna happen!

Also... I don't even think maintaining a close distance relationship over MSN works. I have seen almost every couple i know have arguments over MSN. Mainly because they misunderstand each other on it, or there different, or its plain about nothing.

Thats my 2 pence anyway. I know what I'm on about! (I think.)

So on conclusion, do long distance work?

Only if your an adult who can visit them alot, and can afford to have one hefty phonebill. MSN doesn't work.

the_GoDdEsS
04-10-2005, 06:42 AM
It's retarded to actually 'look for' someone on dating sites or in chatrooms. And it's sad when people are frustrated like that that they can't get any relationship going in real life. It's no good substitute.

A different story is when it just happens unexpectedly and you find out you eventually like someone after having talked to them for a long time already. And when it's not just flirting but when you actually share similar views or interests. Meeting up is definitely interesting. And if the people know enough about each other and seem to get along, it'll eventually work out.

Jackish
04-10-2005, 06:46 AM
It's retarded to actually 'look for' someone on dating sites or in chatrooms. And it's sad when people are frustrated like that that they can't get any relationship going in real life. It's no good substitute.

A different story is when it just happens unexpectedly and you find out you eventually like someone after having talked to them for a long time already. And when it's not just flirting but when you actually share similar views or interests. Meeting up is definitely interesting. And if the people know enough about each other and seem to get along, it'll eventually work out.

Couldn't agree more. My year long girlfriend was long distance, and not once did i ever do any of that "hi i amz lookin 4 a g/f omg lol" or flirting bullshit... It just sort of worked out, as you said - Which is the way it should be for everyone, but most people at 14/15/16 and even older think you have to go out "looking" and do all that flirting nonsense...

the_GoDdEsS
04-10-2005, 06:56 AM
That's one of the reasons why I can't stand chatrooms and talk to the people I actually 'want' to talk to on MSN.

fo_shizzle
04-10-2005, 07:18 AM
id say ney because i think its retarded for some one to have a gf online . i mean it cant really work it just shows how desperate people are if u ask me. ive meet sum good friends online mainly girls that live nere me but id never date them. i mean think about it this way that girl could be a 50 yr old pedofile with his hand down his pants :eek:

the_GoDdEsS
04-10-2005, 07:29 AM
id say ney because i think its retarded for some one to have a gf online . i mean it cant really work it just shows how desperate people are if u ask me. ive meet sum good friends online mainly girls that live nere me but id never date them. i mean think about it this way that girl could be a 50 yr old pedofile with his hand down his pants :eek:

I think the term girlfriend/boyfriend in that case is absolutely not applicable until you have met.

wliethof
04-10-2005, 07:30 AM
mum met her boyfriend on a dating site, which is pretty scary.

TheUnholyNightbringer
04-10-2005, 07:35 AM
I think the idea of people specifically going out and looking for boyfriends/girlfriends on chatrooms or sites is a little scary, simply because no one really knows who the person is on the other side of the screen. However, I've seen it happen accidentally, and work out - friends who meet each other on the Internet, and over a period of time develop feelings for each other, and date. One of my uncle's friends met his wife on a chatroom and they've been married nearly 3 years, after 2 years of friendship.

Izie
04-10-2005, 07:39 AM
And I bet that if I had intended this to be a serious topic, everyone would have ruined it.

That's Murphy's law for you.

the_GoDdEsS
04-10-2005, 07:44 AM
We know your dirty little secrets.

Izie
04-10-2005, 07:45 AM
We know your dirty little secrets.

Pft, you think you do, but do you really? I mean, I still haven't overshared like some of us have...

RXP
04-10-2005, 08:13 AM
Edit: just read the post again answered my question..

Inshane
04-10-2005, 08:22 AM
'nay'.

meeting someone on the internet and agree to see eachother in real life and have a great time hanging out together. thats different.

you should be real carefull with telling personal stuff to anybody you've never really met in real life. I know everybody keeps saying that but Ive had quite some difficult problems with it.
A girlfriend of mine that died talked to a guy on the internet. She never met him nor did she tell anyone about him. When she died the guy added me to his msn-list (have no clue how he got my adress). And he started bitching at me; saying my best friend hated me, that he met her irl and that they had a sexual relationship etcetc. this was at the time she just died so that hit me even harder; it was awful. He even wrote a letter to her mother (by mail not e-mail). saying the most cruel things about me. I know that mother really well so she didnt believe anything he wrote to her. but still that guy had a sick mind. I still hate him how he managed to hurt me emotionally. (he quit trying to approach us, so everything is fine now. he turned out to be some kind of weird old dude.)

Revolver-2005?
04-10-2005, 09:11 AM
lol funny i found this, i was listening a The Vandals "Internet Dating Superstuds"...I honestly think...its retarded...online relationships just make u look like Napoleon Dynamite lol...

Nina
04-10-2005, 10:30 AM
i have had enough long distance relationships behind me to say nay to "internet dating". the distance can kill it, even if you are of the most patient kind (which i am not, yet i've had one for nearly two years). as somebody above already wrote, hanging out in real life is something completely different to chatting on AIM. and just like Simona, i cannot stand actually CHATTING to people. but unlike her, i also have reasons which i cannot put into words...so i will just simply say i dislike it.
there is always a high risk for the person you "date" to be different in real life. it does not have to be a major difference, but maybe she/he has certain behaviours which you just cannot stand, but also wont find out until you actually deal with it in real life.
and then there is lies. -sigh- god knows how painful it is to find out afterwards.

Betty
04-10-2005, 10:43 AM
That's a pretty creepy story Nina (Inshane)...

I've met a few, not many, pretty great people online I must admit.

When I was about 15(?) years old I met this boy online and we talked mostly every night for an hour or two and on the weekends sometimes for 5-6 hours. Just solid, back-and-forth conversation. Also e-mailed each other pretty much everyday, sometimes twice. This went on for over two years. I wouldn't hesitate to say he is one of the boys that I have fallen in love with in my life (out of 3). But it never even crossed our minds to attempt anything like a "real" relationship since that's pretty ridiculous online if you can't meetup, and that's hard to do at 16 years old. We lived in the same country, but Canada is pretty huge so... we were Internet friends, basically. Helped each other through those awkward teenage years of self-discovery. It was kinda weird, I felt pretty guilty for what happened between us because I felt it was wrong to feel that stronly for somebody you had never met. But it happened, and I couldn't change that fact.

I don't feel nearly as weird about it anymore. Then we kinda fell apart due to having busier lives and not keeping in touch, and then I think he got pretty bitter at me at one point, and that bitterness eventually grew to a very strong dislike. I don't know why exactly he did what he did. I still attribute it to him "burning his bridges", and forcing me entirely out of his life. Or at least I hope it's not totally because I'm a terrible person.

We actually met once. His band was touring and they crashed at my place for the night. At this point he pretty much disliked me so it was a little weird, but still nice to see what he was like. We are very different people now, and would probably not be compatible at all (in terms of politics, life goals, etc.)

And that concludes my super long "how to fall in love on the Internet 101" segment. I didn't even get INTO the bizarre love triangle that formed between him, myself, and my best friend at the time who also began speaking with him... ha...

Dr.Faustus
04-10-2005, 11:27 AM
Nay, there's too many weirdos out there.

Jackish
04-10-2005, 02:24 PM
At the end of the day, the internet is as good as you make it/knowledge of it. A little common sense doesn't go a-miss.

arak0r
04-10-2005, 02:32 PM
Personally I would say nay. Only because the term "internet dating" sounds like you date someone over the net, but never actually meet them. I would also say the whole meeting services, dating services or whatever, are sad, and kind of a last resort. I'll admit, that chance meetings could happen, you could meet someone in a board like this, become friends, who knows. Still wouldnt call it dating till you actually meet them, and then it would be real, just long distance. (assuming they are in fact, not in your town :P)

In the end real life > interweb in any case. I'm realizing that more and more every damn day :P

wheelchairman
04-10-2005, 02:36 PM
I would also say Nay. far too much work for far too little result. Perhaps if one is like 40 and the single market is much smaller in one's area, and travelling isn't too much of a problem, like it is for a student, then yes. But while one is young, they should live their life outside, most definitely. Besides internet dating seems to bring a far higher-emotional toll simply because things can become elongated.

Also, I would like to point out that Sim is absolutely correct in discerning between dating-services and randomly meeting a person you like online.

The Talking Pie
04-11-2005, 03:16 AM
I think the term girlfriend/boyfriend in that case is absolutely not applicable until you have met.
Ditto. And as vain as it sounds, all that physical stuff is painfully important. I'd be more concerned about being able to hug the person than wanting to meet them only to confirm my fear that they're in fact a fifty year old man. I mean come on, paedophiles can give awesome hugs too.

But anyway, I refuse to give a 'nay', on the basis of the actual 'relationships' involving seeing/knowing each other, hence simply being 'long-distance' instead. But a fourteen year old in a chatroom is lame.

RXP
04-11-2005, 03:19 AM
I would also say the whole meeting services, dating services or whatever, are sad, and kind of a last resort.


the thing about those sites is you have the potential to meet people who aren't the norm. I much rather that than meeting some uni bitch who I'd no doubt be going out with now.

And to quote a friend of mine "who cares how you find happiness, all that matters is you found it".

haha ironically that is an online friend. But I'd call her a friend.

RXP
04-11-2005, 04:08 AM
Also everyone check out my dating profile: www.faceparty.com/rxp91

how many ladies do you think will be my cyber gf?

sneedo
04-11-2005, 05:15 AM
I like checking the dating profiles of people from my hometown just to see who is on there, and who is listed in the gay and lesbian categories mainly.

Just a Girl
04-11-2005, 09:56 AM
i would say nay. i met my boyfriend online 5 years ago though, ha. but we didn't get together til actually meeting in real life, 2 years ago. so that doesn't count as internet dating :p bah. actually we met because of this board. though he never posted here. madness.

HornyPope
04-11-2005, 10:52 AM
i would say nay. i met my boyfriend online 5 years ago though, ha. but we didn't get together til actually meeting in real life, 2 years ago. so that doesn't count as internet dating :p bah. actually we met because of this board. though he never posted here. madness.

Did you fuck on first date? I wonder how does one let his physical urges go when he already got to know and love, I presume, the other party without being able to engage the body.

Vera
04-11-2005, 11:16 AM
Definite yay.

Sex is definitely safe, with webcams you get the whole face to face thing and it allows you to be more open to things. Like, I would've never engaged in a lesbian love affair offline, but internet makes it safe for me and Izie to test our limits and---




Whoops.



disclaimer: Actually totally kidding here, folks.

Evil-Dead
04-11-2005, 11:54 AM
nah, I think it's pretty silly because it doesn't feel "real"

wheelchairman
04-11-2005, 12:03 PM
disclaimer: Actually totally kidding here, folks.
*tired sigh*

the_GoDdEsS
04-11-2005, 01:38 PM
Holy shit, Evil-Dead is back? The Evil-Dead from 2000/2001 who goes by the name of Bart (I believe), published his phone number and used to post topics with AFI lyrics in them?

Hahaha.

Eccentric Sara
04-11-2005, 03:12 PM
Nowt wrong with AFI lyrics. :) *Glances down at signature*

nameless
04-11-2005, 03:25 PM
ive been speaking to someone online who has just decided to fly from europe to the uk to meet up with her boyfriend for the first time who she met through a message board just like this one! they chat everyday on the phone apparently and she is planning to stay at his house for the duration of her visit!

i guess for every person who has a good encounter of something like this, there will be one with a bad one, its difficult to judge - its may work out for the best or it may be a misstake they both live to regret - i hope it works out for her but you never can tell! they are both adults and can make their own decisions!

as for internet datign in general, ive nothing against it!

Evil-Dead
04-11-2005, 04:00 PM
Holy shit, Evil-Dead is back? The Evil-Dead from 2000/2001 who goes by the name of Bart (I believe), published his phone number and used to post topics with AFI lyrics in them?

Hahaha.

probaly not me. I'm not Bart

Mota Boy
04-11-2005, 04:02 PM
When moving to a new city, the internet is a very easy way to quickly meet a large number of locals. Also, it's safer than the bar scene, for you not only get to get a rough approximation of what the people look like, but can discern whether or not they're worth talking to before you do any talking.

Amanda
04-11-2005, 04:16 PM
I don't believe in long distance relationships, they never work. And dating through the internet, without physical contact or any kind of real intimacy, to me, isn't really dating. It sounds more like a game, can't be taken seriously. How are you supposed to have feelings for someone you don't even really know? It seems like the only reason people would date through the internet would be if they're too scared and insecure to find someone in the real world. Otherwise, who wouldn't prefer dating for real? I don't think it works, sounds to me like a waste of time...

Just a Girl
04-12-2005, 10:15 AM
Did you fuck on first date?

how dare you! i am a lady

Jackish
04-12-2005, 10:23 AM
how dare you! i am a lady

Really? You post like a whore. :D

Hee hee. I am a cheeky fucker.

the_GoDdEsS
04-12-2005, 03:49 PM
probaly not me. I'm not Bart

No need to lie. I've seen your un-edited post and profile. And welcome back!