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MsSelfDestruct
04-12-2005, 01:27 PM
English is difficult. Can you read these sentences correctly... the
first time?
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The landfill was so full, they had to refuse more refuse.

4) Please polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could be in the lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier chose to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, it is time to present
the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does strange antics when does are around.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong for us to wind the sail.

18) I shed a tear upon seeing the tear in the painting.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) I need to intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in
eggplant, no ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England nor French fries in
France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't
sweet, are meat.


We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we

find that
quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea
pig is
neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers
write but fingers
don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth,
beeth? One
goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Is it
not
crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend? If you have a
bunch of odds
and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers
taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I
think the first 'teachers of the language' should have been
committed to an
asylum for the verbally insane. How is it that people recite a play
and
play at a recital; ship by truck and send cargo by ship; have noses
that run and feet
that smell??
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise
man and a
wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a
language in which your house can burn up as it burns down; you fill
in a form by
filling it out and an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and reflects the
creativity
of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. This is
why when
the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out,
they are
invisible.

P.S. Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"????
yesiree bob. english sucks ass.

JohnnyNemesis
04-12-2005, 01:29 PM
I got all of them right on the first try.

JohnnyNemesis: 1, the English Language: 0

BuddyHolly
04-12-2005, 01:29 PM
I can read it correctly (at least most of it... but hey, I'm just a simple Dutch guy :rolleyes: )

wheelchairman
04-12-2005, 01:30 PM
I got all of them right on the first try.

JohnnyNemesis: 1, the English Language: 0
Did you open a can of grammar-whoop-ass on it, Johnny?

JohnnyNemesis
04-12-2005, 01:31 PM
Damn straight I did!

Sinister
04-12-2005, 01:33 PM
that's English, but you should see stuff in French. I've been learning it for all my life, 16 years now, and I still don't get some of the crazy shit !

dirtybird
04-12-2005, 01:33 PM
I called a truce after... 8, maybe? (short attention span)

Dirtybird-1/2, English Language-1/2

BuddyHolly
04-12-2005, 01:38 PM
but you should see stuff in French.

Now THAT'S difficult

dirtybird
04-12-2005, 01:42 PM
that's English, but you should see stuff in French. I've been learning it for all my life, 16 years now, and I still don't get some of the crazy shit !

I hate French. I had it for 7 years and learned how to count to thirty and to say sofa. Our teacher sucked.

Sinister
04-12-2005, 01:43 PM
I hate French. I had it for 7 years and learned how to count to thirty and to say sofa. Our teacher sucked.

Has there ever been a teacher who did NOT suck ?

Noodles is gay
04-12-2005, 01:44 PM
is that all you got?!

HAHAHA!

I read it all fine first time, naturally :p

dirtybird
04-12-2005, 01:46 PM
Has there ever been a teacher who did NOT suck ?

I've had plenty of good teachers... by saying she sucked meant she was a bad teacher; not whether I liked her or not (I didn't, though). I've had some good teachers I didn't necessarily like, though.

dirtybird
04-12-2005, 01:47 PM
is that all you got?!

HAHAHA!

I read it all fine first time, naturally :p

Please, let your rays of litterary goodness shine down on us, oh Grammar God!

The Talking Pie
04-12-2005, 01:52 PM
P.S. Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"????
Because the U is an extension of the Q, not a seperate letter, so to speak.
Anyway, you're talking about the use of the language, not the language itself. I see nothing about irregular verbs and so forth.

Noodles is gay
04-12-2005, 01:52 PM
Please, let your rays of litterary goodness shine down on us, oh Grammar God!

*literary :cool:

dirtybird
04-12-2005, 01:53 PM
*literary :cool:

That was a typo. Damn.

Tired_Of_You
04-12-2005, 02:07 PM
that's English, but you should see stuff in French. I've been learning it for all my life, 16 years now, and I still don't get some of the crazy shit !
Haha, my first language is French and there is also some stuff like MsSelfDestruct posted (but in French) and it's WAY harder to say.

RXP
04-12-2005, 02:20 PM
Ha those are easy. I got them all till I got bored.

Homer
04-12-2005, 02:28 PM
that's English, but you should see stuff in French. I've been learning it for all my life, 16 years now, and I still don't get some of the crazy shit !

French is a bitch! Oops, gotta study for a french test.... damnit.

ninth
04-12-2005, 02:32 PM
If you have a problem with the English language you can take it up with William the Conqueror.

Noodles is gay
04-12-2005, 02:33 PM
Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant,

well in England we call an 'eggplant' an 'aubergine', so ha! looks like you damn yanks are the weird ones there! :D

Tired_Of_You
04-12-2005, 02:35 PM
In French we also say 'aubergine'. I hate aubergines...

the_GoDdEsS
04-12-2005, 02:44 PM
I'd say those sentences were pretty easy, too.

Isolated Fury
04-12-2005, 02:53 PM
You would have to have a mental disability in order to not understand any of those...

Homer
04-12-2005, 03:09 PM
You would have to have a mental disability in order to not understand any of those...

is that why foxy hasn't posted yet?

MsSelfDestruct
04-12-2005, 08:59 PM
damn you people are tough...this is just something a little interesting that i recieved in an email and thought that id post for the rest of you...guess its not interesting enough...whoops.my bad.

JohnnyNemesis
04-12-2005, 09:00 PM
I thought it was pretty interesting, so thanks for sharing it.

dirtybird
04-12-2005, 10:20 PM
is that why foxy hasn't posted yet?

Probably .