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JohnnyNemesis
05-31-2005, 09:01 AM
Okay, my pet peeve is people who take e-mail chain letters that we've all read a million times and share them on message boards, but this one is too hilarious, too cool not to post.

For those that don't know, the SATs are a standardized test typically given to high school students here in the U.S. They are absolutely crucial, vital to college acceptance for high school students.

Enjoy:

Fox Schools (In association with the Kansas and Texas public schools) Presents :

The 2015 SATs

PART A: Science

1. A strain of bacteria, after repeated exposure to an antibiotic, develops a resistance to that antibiotic. This is an example of:

A. microevolution
B. microintelligentdesign
C. how the liberal media lies
D. why faith healing is better than secular medicine

2. Global temperatures have risen 1 degree F since 2004. This is due to:

A. the greenhouse effect
B. unsound science
C. the Clinton administration
D. gays

3. Scientific theories are:

A. ones which makes predictions one can test against
experimental data
B. only theories
C. used by out-of-the-mainstream liberal eggheads to
oppress white people
D. tricks of Satan

PART B: Mathematics

1. Pi is:

A. the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its
diameter
B. three
C. I refuse to answer this question on the grounds
that my dad makes a lot of money
D. something Greek homosexuals invented to turn you
gay

2. If dinosaurs first appeared 250 million years ago,
and became extinct 185 million years later, how long
ago did they become extinct?

A. 65 million years ago
B. There is no paleontological consensus that
dinosaurs ever existed
C. 3500 years ago, during the Flood
D. However long ago it was that they turned gay and
lost their moral values

3. If you make $50,000 a year, and the flat income tax
rate is 10%, how much money do you pay the IRS each
year?

A. $5,000
B. Too much.
C. $0. The federal government has no Constitutional
right to inconvenience me.
D. The IRS is part of the gay mafia.

PART C: History

1. The US lost the Vietnam War because:

A. we miscalculated the determination of the enemy.
B. liberals and the media wouldn't let Rambo do his
job.
C. IT WAS A TIE!
D. Clinton made everyone in the Army get gay married.

2. Who led the American army during the Revolutionary
War?

A. George Washington
B. George W. Bush
C. Ronald Reagan
D. Jesus

3. Who betrayed the American army during the
Revolutionary War?

A. Benedict Arnold
B. Bill Clinton
C. Hillary Clinton
D. The Jews

PART D: Literature

1. What is the greatest book ever written by an
American?

A. The Great Gatsby
B. A Charge to Keep
C. Left Behind 2: Tribulation Force
D. The Bible

2. In Shakespeare's "Julius Caesar", Caesar is
betrayed by:

A. Brutus
B. Clinton
C. the liberal media
D. the Jews

3. In 1609, Galileo looked through a telescope and saw
four small bodies orbiting Jupiter. This showed:

A. that not all celestial bodies orbit the Earth, and
that the Earth is not necessarily at the center of the
Universe
B. there is no astronomical consensus that anything
orbits Jupiter
C. Galileo was a biased liberal
D. the telescope was gay

THE END

Scoring is at the discretion of your local school
Board.

Noodles is gay
05-31-2005, 09:58 AM
Heh.

Do SAT's actually consist of multiple choice questions?

JohnnyNemesis
05-31-2005, 10:01 AM
Yeah, but they're not anything like those, and the multiple choice questions are formatted differently. And there's much more than just multiple choice there, there's all kinds of shit.

Forgive my constant Republican bashing, but I think most of that stuff is hilarious!

Noodles is gay
05-31-2005, 10:04 AM
Yeah, but they're not anything like those, and the multiple choice questions are formatted differently. And there's much more than just multiple choice there, there's all kinds of shit.

Forgive my constant Republican bashing, but I think most of that stuff is hilarious!

good, I was gonna say - those are exceptionally easy questions considering the fact that they determine college acceptance. Nevermind me, I'm just annoyed with British exams.

yeah, tis pretty funny.

Noodles is gay
05-31-2005, 10:43 AM
I pissed myself laughing. I'm still shaken up.

really? Damn, my fears are confirmed - I lack a sense of humour.

JohnnyNemesis
05-31-2005, 10:43 AM
Actually Jenny, a lot of it involves being familiar with American politics, so no worries.

Noodles is gay
05-31-2005, 10:47 AM
that's the problem - i'm pretty sure I understand the jokes but they're only mildly funny. Nevermind.

JohnnyNemesis
05-31-2005, 11:16 AM
Jesus leading the American wars... I find that hilarious. *galvanizing soldiers*: folllow your leader!!!

Maria

As far as wars go, the Vietnam war question is easily the funniest for me. IT WAS A TIE!!! had me in stitches :D

JohnnyNemesis
06-01-2005, 04:33 PM
Bumped because my SAT topic is better.