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It's way too cold to go out for free-drinks. Zero-tips. Bars are much better than clubs because of the shooting -pool game. Yep, epicfuckenawesomely fun times! It's excitin' for me to chillax on my b—day in five months. Am I down for a Straight-Shot of this new brand called DULCE VIDA ORGANIC TEQUILA?
I know it's verrry early, but I woke up still drunk ahahahahaha, and was convinced last night I was Frodo so was trying to bring the ring to Mordor cause there's a woods here that all the locals call Mordor. And I did a huge puke on the stairs aparently and walked in it and brough ti everywhere, but i can't remember but i guess it must have been me cause my clothres and hair are covered on vomit and my dad spent 2 hours cleaning it all up.
Oh god, I should be ashameeeed but I'm not sober enough to feel those feelings.
Drunk, horny, and listening to old black music.
Life is confusing.
Sober, horny, jamming to little devils music.
Life is hella fucking sexy! #hotstuff Mmmm
Aren't you meant to be a virgin?
Tonight I discovered something. Listening to my housemate fuck his girlfriend at 3AM makes me acutely aware that I haven't been laid in over a year. Acutely.
Not minding that I could hear it also made me acutely aware that the situation is getting out of hand.
Or, if you'll excuse my literal lingual lamentation and lewd lascivity, perhaps the problem is that this situation is far too firmly in hand.
Alliterated masturbatory allusions for the illiterate masses. High art, to be sure. If thou art high.
I gots more wordplay than you can shake a speare at. I needs some grinding on my falstaff from this global theatre. My kingdom for a horse gets more ass than I do. Got less game than a panda in zoo tycoon. Try going wilde, acting gay for an oscar, I assure you my, uh, weiner isn't going to cost ya.
I am way more drunk than required. It's fantastic. And Stevie Nicks in her prime is undoubtedly the sexiest thing to have ever lived.
Yes, I'm still remaining a virgin.
Do you wanna get laid? Go for it!
Oh ddrrnk thread,I miss you. Feeling pretty happy right now. Coors light is tasting pretty good right now. Thinking its time for a shot.
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downin' a modelo right now thinkin' of you dexter but if you knew that i used to have a crush on you and now i am crushin' on sameer & jesse me miss you dudes
Question of the night. Am I the only thinks of raspberry parade instead of rraspberry paray.. you know that prince song. Beer here!!!