Quentin Tarantino's next movie
Will be set during the Trail of Tears. It will start with seven minutes of evil US Cavalrymen holding down Indians and injecting smallpox into their eyes. The main US Cavalryman will be ridiculously evil, but still be charming and affable enough to be the most likable character in the movie. After the seven minutes of villain establishment, the rest of the four-hour movie will just be scene after scene of a ragtag bunch of misfit Indian guerrillas and their inexplicably caucasian war-chief slaughtering US Cavalrymen like crazy. There'll be two hundred references from unknown horror films and kung flu flicks from the 1970's, and at least twelve homages to arthouse Japanese directors. There'll be lots of torture and crucifixions and every time somebody bumps their knee their entire body will explode into 40,000 gushing gallons of blood and pieces of bone. Quentin Tarantino will play a cameo as a white guy who has lots of black friends and says 'nigger' a lot around his black friends and none of his black friends mind. This cameo will have no relevance to the plot, but Samuel L Jackson will defend it in at least four press interviews. The movie climaxes with the ragtag bunch of Indians conquering the United States and becoming the presidents of the United States and writing laws to make it so they get to keep their tribal land, just like what happened in history.
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