So far, my more reasonable side has prevailed; after all I truelly don't have a death wish. But I see this as I would a junkie.
Before they got involed in drugs, they thought "I'm not getting hooked, I'm in control". Next thing you know their stealing and beging on the streets. My reasonable side tells me that if I dare take that step (I'll literally be hooked, and it is the horse whos going to be in control, (And that is literally "horse power").
I'm not proud to say that the contemplations still to this day linger in my thoughts, fortunately it still remains a contemplation. I'm only too aware that my first could be my last.
If I have anything good going for me, I don't delude myself trying to convince others and myself that this is allright, but then again so did Mr. Hands. Why would he go to such lenths to hide his identity?
Excess lust is definitely not good, It made Mr. Hands crave and take a phalic battering ram and forfeiting his life. Others worse still, ruin other peoples lives (rape); Still, I don't say this to excuse my thoughts. What is wrong is wrong. So Ironic... I don't harm others and don't aprove of it in anyway, but I enjoy the friendship of a very small circle of guys that know me that would just love to see me getting screwed by such a horse... So so absurd...