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Thread: borderline personality disorder

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
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    Nottingham
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    10,055


    Default borderline personality disorder

    I slowly came to realize that my particular brand of weirdness had a name. That name is borderline personality disorder. I never said it was a GOOD name. In fact nobody thinks it is a good name, but I digress.

    So I have this. I know I have this. Yep, I self-diagnosed. Yeah, I know. Shut up. I went to the doctor so now it's official. I can wear the badge now and everything. Ok there's no badge. But maybe there should be. It might be helpful. I'm tempted to digress about my constant digressions at this point but any regret I display wouldn't be genuine. Let's just move on.

    I'm going to start treatment soon. I believe it will be very beneficial for me. No drugs. Just cognitive and behavioural therapy. Essentially I'm not like most other people and that isn't going to change but I can learn how to function better within the normal world. That's my expectation anyway. I find already that simply understanding and accepting my disorder helps me considerably. Within the context provided by the framework of this disorder I can analyze and understand my own feelings and behaviours. What previously seemed erratic and stupid now seems like obvious and identifiable patterns of behaviour. And patterns of behaviour can be de-constructed.

    I'm probably the happiest person ever to be diagnosed with a mental illness. I spent so long trying and failing to be normal. Turns out I first had to accept that I'm not. Now I can maybe do something about it.

    Why am I posting this? Well, it's difficult to explain. I've spent my whole life trying to make people think I'm normal and doing fine when really that's never been the case. Now I'm actually doing something about it and I find it beneficial to put away the shame and the stigma and confidently tell people this is what I have and this is what I'm working on. Not hiding my problem is part of my personal process towards improvement. In a way I am tempted to equate it to coming out, but I wouldn't want to imply that homosexuality is in any way a disorder. I simply mean I find it highly liberating to finally be honest and tell people this is who I am.

    So yeah. For all of you who always suspected I was nuts, yep, I kinda am. And I'm ok with that.

    All thoughts and comments are very welcome.
    Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Bill Hicks

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
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    Slovakia
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    Default

    Good luck, man. We are not gonna burn you at stake.

    I wonder what would 1337 and tr0ll337 say in 2006.

    I didn't suspect it, but you were too intelligent to be sane, right?
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    Dr. Hause transcends labels. He is both human and humanity.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
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    Default

    I used to date a girl I suspected may have had this personality disorder. But she was one of those "it's not me, it's everyone else" kind of people, so it was a struggle. Good for you for finally taking this step to rehabbing yourself into a happier person. What finally persuaded you into getting officially diagnosed?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    Default

    I'm not sure wether to say "sorry man, that sucks" or "good for you" but since you seem to be happy to finally identify it, I'll say good for you and good luck !

    I'm pretty sure only good things can come out of you being diagnosed but I have to say that I actually thought you behaved pretty normally on this BBS... Maybe because you were very careful about it
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  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
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    Well, people carry themselves differently online. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. It's better for me since I have that nice little preview button to make sure what I say isn't too terribly stupid or hateful.

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