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Thread: A Very Jakebert Rant (TM) (Possibly NWS)

  1. #1
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    Default A Very Jakebert Rant (TM) (Possibly NWS)

    So the last few nights, I've been in insomnia mode. And it seems that every time I'm awake at 2 AM, I end up drifting to one of those channels that's nothing but infomercials, and I have discovered an informercial that sells sex toys called "Shop Erotic". And for whatever reason, I have found myself becoming very attracted to the host. She's not necessarily good looking, but I am very turned on by a girl discussing various orafices to stick a jack rabbit vibrator in. I also giggle any time she says the phrase "anal play".

    Also, this brings up the discussion of sex toys. And no, this is not just a cheap attempt to watch girls post about their toys. But does anyone here actually use them, dudes included?

    Personally, I do not. I can't even buy porn due to being to embarassed, which is why all of mine comes from the internets. Plus I think I'd feel insanely ashamed of myself any time I were to use something like a fleshlight or waterproof penis pump. I have become an expert in sex toys since my insomnia began.

    End rant.
    "I'll die before I surrender, Tim".

  2. #2
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    Default

    Does that really qualify as a rant?

    There used to be this old lady that would do a show about that stuff. It was awkward to see a lady in her early 60s talking about "play".

    I personally do not use such things. Partly embarrassment, partly the price. Mostly I just like to use sexual frustration to push my body to its limit. That and there is just no substitute for the real thing, just to be honest.
    we can't help it that members of the female species brains suddenly dissappear when talking on the phone
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  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jakebert View Post
    And no, this is not just a cheap attempt to watch girls post about their toys.
    Damn. .
    Quote Originally Posted by alexandematthew View Post
    Sometime I think about the Drama and Jokes I visit on this Board. This is not only for Drama and Jokes but some important information like Handmade Mattresses.

  4. #4
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    my ex kept trying to get me to buy a flesh light. it was weird.

    also: http://www.shoperotictv.com/indexMISTER.htm

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Endymion View Post
    my ex kept trying to get me to buy a flesh light. it was weird.
    My ex had one (I'm sure still does), and though I totally support that purchase of his I totally would not have encouraged it repeatedly. Generally such exhortations should be saved for things you can share....
    I am part of a degenerate elite
    Dragging our society into the street



  6. #6
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    Red face

    aha. this is hilarious.

    i'm a bit of a sex toy aficionado, i must say. my mens and i have acquired quite the unholy collection over the years, and every now and then we stop by babeland and pick up something new. now none of these things are necessary, obviously... but they're hilarious and quite fun. and some of them are just gorgeous. i was recently given a Motif from Kiki de Montparnasse and i'm not sure whether i should use it or just admire its beauty. lol.

    anyways. i won't elaborate any further, because, like. tmi.

    When I'm good, I'm very, very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better.

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