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Thread: DEXTER's JOURNAL by RonWelty

  1. #91
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    DAY 3 - DEXTER ON THE SONGs

    Canadian Airspace

    Dexter, that's me, picked up for today BEHEADED. One of fans' most wanted.

    Well, Dexter, that's me, really likes it too.

    As you can see, I was a serial-killer by these Self-Titled days. Some people say that I'm ZODIAC, but you cant buy everything people says. It's obvious that the real ZODIAC copycat my awesome criminal acts.

    Well, let's go:

    "Mommy doesn‘t have her head any more
    Keep it underneath my bed on the floor
    Well that‘s all right though
    That‘s OK
    She never really used her head anyway"


    Well I hated and still hate my parents - They got brothers to me. And Dexter hate to share things. Dexter likes to be the one. Dexter is like Mourinho, that european (spanish maybe?) soccer manager. Dexter now talks in 3rd person like star basketball players. Keep it cool, ya bro?

    So, She get pregnant? I killed her. No hard feelings.

    "Daddy called me a silly bore
    Bet he won‘t say that any more
    Because the way his body’s severed in two
    His vocal chords are gonna be hard to use"


    My daddy, father of Dexter, that's me, was everytime talking about I, Dexter, should be working on my future and be a medic. I was tired of that nonsense, i always wanted to be a slob and eat pancakes everyday. I like pancakes. With Peannut butter please.

    "Beheaded
    Watch you spurt like a garden hose
    Beheaded
    Bloody mess all over my clothes"


    I love garden hoses. They are pretty.
    I love Clothes. They're pretty.
    But i, Dexter, like them more with blood on it. It gaves a nice visual effect on your birthday's party. Try that at home. It's 100% safe.

    "Watch my girlfriend come to the door
    Chop off her head, she falls to the floor
    Watching my baby‘s jugular flow
    Really makes my motor go

    Wrap a towel around the bloody stump
    Take my baby‘s body to the city dump
    Then wipe the mess off the bloody axe
    Scoop all the heads in my burlap sack"


    Another girlfriend. As you should know, I love to murder girlfriends. I hate to have sex with them but when i kill them i get a really strong orgasm.

    Well no story here: She enter my room, i chop off her head and she falls on floor. Then blood got out of her jugular. I picked my best glass and mixed some of that blood with diet coke and drank it. I'm thinking of making a new drinking brand: Killer Bandido - Blood Coke

    So i got off to nearer city's dump and said good bye to her in silence. You have to show some respect.


    Now comes the best part of this song:

    "All my collection
    Adorns my room on bamboo poles
    Use to be a little
    But a little got more and more
    Now I‘m craving yours

    Night brings bad dreams
    Bad dreams with guillotines

    Off with her head

    Find another victim for my machine
    Put him in a homemade guillotine
    Blade falls, gonna need a casket
    Watch the head plop in a wicker basket

    Leave the house at a quarter to four
    Come back with sixteen or more
    Cause the more I want, the more I see
    I got a funny feeling coming over me"


    If someone finds the big house where Dexter, that's me, lives, I, Dexter, will show you my secret room.
    Some of you have a secret room too: for quinky sex shit or to save all your BD's zines. I will not criticize you. But I really have a secret room for a special reason: That's where I save my victims's heads in Bamboo sticks. Why should i need Playboy tv when I have such an exciting view so close.

    For last, I have a weird will in my body to kill more and more. It's bad for my social status and I take some medication to ease that. But sometimes during a long tour session far away from home i forget to take them. Here is my warning: If Dexter, I, invites someone to go to backstage. Be afraid. Your life is over.

    Ciao

    P.S. - Don't forget my birthday this month. Who wants to be my next victim? If a lot of people wants to be the one you can start an Offspring fan reality show.
    Last edited by RonWelty; 12-06-2008 at 03:43 PM.
    I am not another The Offspring fan but just THE Offspring FAN !

    Dexter Holland - "Which one of you goes by the screen name of RonWelty?"

  2. #92
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    Quote Originally Posted by RonWelty View Post
    P.S. - Don't forget my birthday this month. Who wants to be my next victim? If a lot of people wants to be the one you can start an Offspring fan reality show.
    LOLOL brilliant!
    now!! ME AND MY OLD LADY plz dex plz dex?

    YES we would like nominate some forum members (including u of course), then put them in a house, with cameras everywhere! and every week we would choose one member to die (by dex's hands)

    LOVELY
    Quote Originally Posted by Free? View Post
    Offspring playing for Free? That would be awesome!
    The Portuguese Chapter:
    Site/Forum/Wiki: www.offspringportugal.com

  3. #93
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rutegard View Post
    LOLOL brilliant!
    now!! ME AND MY OLD LADY plz dex plz dex?

    YES we would like nominate some forum members (including u of course), then put them in a house, with cameras everywhere! and every week we would choose one member to die (by dex's hands)

    LOVELY
    Let the polls begin!

    LETS GET READY TO RUUMMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
    I am not another The Offspring fan but just THE Offspring FAN !

    Dexter Holland - "Which one of you goes by the screen name of RonWelty?"

  4. #94
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    Quote Originally Posted by RonWelty View Post
    My daddy, father of Dexter, that's me, was everytime talking about I, Dexter, should be working on my future and be a medic.
    Man you created a real psycho, I love it

    Being killed by Dexters hands can be really great experience...Too bad that it would be the last experience...For me at least...too bad I wouldn't be able to talk about it on bbs...But there's nothing for free...
    Quote Originally Posted by dff_punk View Post
    Maybe they took the name The Offspring, because Green Day was already used.

  5. #95
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    Quote Originally Posted by hangovered View Post
    Man you created a real psycho, I love it

    Being killed by Dexters hands can be really great experience...Too bad that it would be the last experience...For me at least...too bad I wouldn't be able to talk about it on bbs...But there's nothing for free...
    Maybe he likes to tape it. We have to ask him.
    I am not another The Offspring fan but just THE Offspring FAN !

    Dexter Holland - "Which one of you goes by the screen name of RonWelty?"

  6. #96
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    Quote Originally Posted by RonWelty View Post
    Maybe he likes to tape it. We have to ask him.
    exactly, then we could rewatch it! and feel amazed
    Quote Originally Posted by Free? View Post
    Offspring playing for Free? That would be awesome!
    The Portuguese Chapter:
    Site/Forum/Wiki: www.offspringportugal.com

  7. #97
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rutegard View Post
    YES we would like nominate some forum members (including u of course), then put them in a house, with cameras everywhere! and every week we would choose one member to die (by dex's hands)

    LOVELY
    ROFL ... That would really be something, an adventure of a lifetime. Don't forget we need to challenges to win Dex's favour ... and stay alive in the process
    Quote Originally Posted by Dexter Holland View Post
    No, we're not calling it quits anytime soon.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dexter Holland View Post
    See you on the road!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  8. #98
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blitzkrieg Bop View Post
    ROFL ... That would really be something, an adventure of a lifetime. Don't forget we need to challenges to win Dex's favour ... and stay alive in the process
    indeed! the fan who gets to know him the best, and please him the best, would win and the others would just be killed *evil laugh*
    Quote Originally Posted by Free? View Post
    Offspring playing for Free? That would be awesome!
    The Portuguese Chapter:
    Site/Forum/Wiki: www.offspringportugal.com

  9. #99
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    This thread is insane...
    I love it.

  10. #100
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    7th December - Huntington Beach

    Hi guys. I'm back home. How are you doing? My staff told me this thread is already a huge hit. I'm so happy about it.

    Well, today i bought drums set for Rock Band game. You know what it is? check it out! It's pretty cool.

    I like to play there because it's where i learn to play guitar. I spend all my days when I'm at home trying to beat my own songs in medium difficulty. It's really hard. Specially because I do guitar playback live. You didn't know it right? But Its true.

    Anyway Pete Parada is here setting the game right and we will stay all night playing this. A party game to celebrate our last mini EUROPEAN TOUR. And we will be playing LIPS. I really suck on singing but who cares? It's a party bitch.

    I'm writting a song about being a fan of a band, for our next record. It's about how we are so dependent of band's music to move on our life. I will dedicate it to you guys. Hope you like it.

    here's a sad story: a friend of mine that is a drag queen, last week tried to have sex with me. I was tempted to say yes but I thought about how my ass's mucosa is so inflamated because my diarrhea that i had to say no. But he/she got so mad that he got off my home in a stunning hurry and went to some local bar and drank 1 litre of pure VODKA. I had to pick him up and sent him to nearest hospital. And u know what he said to police man who came to talk to him? That I tried to put him drunk so we could have some forced(by me) sexual session. In the following day he died but that cop is blackmailing me! He wants 250.000 dollars to shut the fuck up. I don't know what to do! Send me some money if you really like me.Thanks

    Gotta go.
    Thanks
    I am not another The Offspring fan but just THE Offspring FAN !

    Dexter Holland - "Which one of you goes by the screen name of RonWelty?"

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