DAY 3 - DEXTER ON THE SONGs
Dexter, that's me, picked up for today BEHEADED. One of fans' most wanted.
Well, Dexter, that's me, really likes it too.
As you can see, I was a serial-killer by these Self-Titled days. Some people say that I'm ZODIAC, but you can´t buy everything people says. It's obvious that the real ZODIAC copycat my awesome criminal acts.
Well, let's go:
"Mommy doesn‘t have her head any more
Keep it underneath my bed on the floor
Well that‘s all right though
She never really used her head anyway"
Well I hated and still hate my parents - They got brothers to me. And Dexter hate to share things. Dexter likes to be the one. Dexter is like Mourinho, that european (spanish maybe?) soccer manager. Dexter now talks in 3rd person like star basketball players. Keep it cool, ya bro?
So, She get pregnant? I killed her. No hard feelings.
"Daddy called me a silly bore
Bet he won‘t say that any more
Because the way his body’s severed in two
His vocal chords are gonna be hard to use"
My daddy, father of Dexter, that's me, was everytime talking about I, Dexter, should be working on my future and be a medic. I was tired of that nonsense, i always wanted to be a slob and eat pancakes everyday. I like pancakes. With Peannut butter please.
Watch you spurt like a garden hose
Bloody mess all over my clothes"
I love garden hoses. They are pretty.
I love Clothes. They're pretty.
But i, Dexter, like them more with blood on it. It gaves a nice visual effect on your birthday's party. Try that at home. It's 100% safe.
"Watch my girlfriend come to the door
Chop off her head, she falls to the floor
Watching my baby‘s jugular flow
Really makes my motor go
Wrap a towel around the bloody stump
Take my baby‘s body to the city dump
Then wipe the mess off the bloody axe
Scoop all the heads in my burlap sack"
Another girlfriend. As you should know, I love to murder girlfriends. I hate to have sex with them but when i kill them i get a really strong orgasm.
Well no story here: She enter my room, i chop off her head and she falls on floor. Then blood got out of her jugular. I picked my best glass and mixed some of that blood with diet coke and drank it. I'm thinking of making a new drinking brand: Killer Bandido - Blood Coke
So i got off to nearer city's dump and said good bye to her in silence. You have to show some respect.
Now comes the best part of this song:
"All my collection
Adorns my room on bamboo poles
Use to be a little
But a little got more and more
Now I‘m craving yours
Night brings bad dreams
Bad dreams with guillotines
Off with her head
Find another victim for my machine
Put him in a homemade guillotine
Blade falls, gonna need a casket
Watch the head plop in a wicker basket
Leave the house at a quarter to four
Come back with sixteen or more
Cause the more I want, the more I see
I got a funny feeling coming over me"
If someone finds the big house where Dexter, that's me, lives, I, Dexter, will show you my secret room.
Some of you have a secret room too: for quinky sex shit or to save all your BD's zines. I will not criticize you. But I really have a secret room for a special reason: That's where I save my victims's heads in Bamboo sticks. Why should i need Playboy tv when I have such an exciting view so close.
For last, I have a weird will in my body to kill more and more. It's bad for my social status and I take some medication to ease that. But sometimes during a long tour session far away from home i forget to take them. Here is my warning: If Dexter, I, invites someone to go to backstage. Be afraid. Your life is over.
P.S. - Don't forget my birthday this month. Who wants to be my next victim? If a lot of people wants to be the one you can start an Offspring fan reality show.
Last edited by RonWelty; 12-06-2008 at 03:43 PM.
I am not another The Offspring fan but just THE Offspring FAN !
Dexter Holland - "Which one of you goes by the screen name of RonWelty?"