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Thread: DEXTER's JOURNAL by RonWelty

  1. #51
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    id be excited to see if Dexter read this and made some sort of response haha

  2. #52
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    I got a gift for you guys!

    DAY 2 - DEXTER ON THE SONGS

    hi again! I'm a bit bored here! Just snow outside and no Oprah or Jerry Springer in Russian television!

    So, you always wanted a Dexter on the Songs. Here you have it!

    I will do one "D on the song" for everysong! You ask why? No sex in Dexterland!

    "Jennifer Lost The War"
    Self-Titled

    Well, this is obvious! It is about Jennifer! And that bitch lost the war and got raped and killed!
    Of course Jennifer was a friend of mine and i didn't help her because i was too busy petting my "thief look a like" long hair. Yes, i have a weird fetiche about hair.

    She and Kristy are all the same. I just changed names. I couldn't find other issue to that song on our newest album, and as i was so busy working on my Hot Sauce, fuck it, i will steal this time myself. Easy and safe.

    Little girl was just six years old. That bitch stole my bike and my soccer ball. She was stronger than me. I was a tiny little white dork in that Garden Grove community. No one liked me. Even now they only talk to me because i got golden cojones (Yes, i had to take off my testicles and replace it by golden balls).

    Then you have Phoebe. I was young and a believer. I thought: " I have to do a masterpiece". And you can't do a Masterpiece with only one character! Come on, that's obvious! So i figure out an odd name. Eureka! Phoebe it is!

    I'm so proud right now, that with only 20 year I could lie that much, take a look at this line:

    "When she lies silent in a morgue
    And all our sorrows"

    I was trying not to laugh. I was so happy about her death! That bitch stole my bike! And no one steal anything from me. Only "moi" can steal things! You Don't believe it?

    In everysong i had created, except "When you're in prision" (which is the biggest pile of shit on God's Earth) there is something i had to steal to make it sound right. You all know that!

    What you don't know, and this is true folks, is that i have a legal company that kills all those motherfuckers that try to do that to me ! Cool, Right? It's Punk-rock

    Here it is a deep view on this subject: Jennifer Lost the War!

    Later,

    Dexter Holland
    I am not another The Offspring fan but just THE Offspring FAN !

    Dexter Holland - "Which one of you goes by the screen name of RonWelty?"

  3. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by hshduppsnt View Post
    id be excited to see if dexter read this and made some sort of response haha
    hey dexter! Don't kill me! I love you!

    WARNING: ALL MY POSTS ARE JUST PRODUCT OF MY INSANE IMAGINATION AND DO NOT REFLECT DEXTER'S or OTHER BAND MEMBERS OPINION NEITHER MINE. I LOVE THEM DEARLY!
    Last edited by RonWelty; 12-04-2008 at 03:54 PM.
    I am not another The Offspring fan but just THE Offspring FAN !

    Dexter Holland - "Which one of you goes by the screen name of RonWelty?"

  4. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by RonWelty View Post
    hey dexter! Don't kill me! I love you!
    Haha nah man I'm sure he'll get a kick out of it

  5. #55
    Camilamazed Guest


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    Hahahahahahaha

    Dexter on song pwns!

  6. #56
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    Day 2 - Dexter on the Songs

    Elders
    Self Titled

    Now it's time for Elders! Do you like this song? I don't remember how it is. Let me download it.

    (1 minute dowloading left)

    I'm drinking hot chocolate with a bit of gringo bandido. Sweet.

    Okay. I remember this song.
    When you're a kid you have to be something! That's what she said.
    You could be a medic, a teacher or a soldier. Doesn't matter. You have to be something to have a good life when you're elder, elder people say. You need VIAGRA, you need money to buy it. Thanks god you buy my music because Cialis cost a lot of money man.
    This is a pretty simple song. Few elaborate words. I maybe wrote this one when i had that bad dhiarrea in 1988. Ate too much Tacos that day. Momma told me to stop but i was so blind...

    I'm sorry now about this lyric. Seems like something some kid would do. But i was pissed with some old fuckers that lived in my borough. They told me i have to go to school to be rich! LIES LIES LIES LIES! See NoodleS? he uses a gold watch and did he went to school? no! Now people call me "Dexter". I would like to be called "Captain" or "Strike" or "Rambo". Now I don't care. Because of me, there are two shows in television with my nickname: Dexter Cartoon and Dexter the serial killer! People really love me!


    By the way, saw "Blindness" last week. Hated it. Was hoping for a movie about a guy who is trying to be a pilot even if he is blind. I was told it was a Spielberg movie and i found out it's a movie made by some guy from South America. I thought that only Americans citizens were allowed to make movies.

    I heard Ron Welty band is over. Now i can die happy

    Later
    Last edited by RonWelty; 12-04-2008 at 04:59 PM.
    I am not another The Offspring fan but just THE Offspring FAN !

    Dexter Holland - "Which one of you goes by the screen name of RonWelty?"

  7. #57
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    OH MY GOD dexter YOU ARE SO MEAN


    AHAHHA DAMN U

    dex, let's make babies and adopt ron welty shall we?
    Quote Originally Posted by Free? View Post
    Offspring playing for Free? That would be awesome!
    The Portuguese Chapter:
    Site/Forum/Wiki: www.offspringportugal.com

  8. #58
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    DAY 2 - Dexter on the Songs

    Out on Patrol
    Self-Titled

    Oh, i like this one. Fast shit.

    Since i was a depressed child, i always wanted to be in the army: An Air Force Pilot.
    As I failed in my exams cause they said I wasn't psychologic stable I tried to enter in the Navy Seals but it was another closed door too.
    Anyway, song enters with that acoustic intro that gives that western theme. I always liked cowboys with their big guns! I love big guns too!

    This song talks abouts our soldiers that go to foreign countries facing unknown, got beated by minor weak forces and have to wait Big Boys coming to rescue them. It's all about what US is now: We say we are the best but we never really win a war.
    They put me out of the militar system, I treat them badly in my musical system.

    Notice that "uno, dos, tres, quatro"? That guy that wrote Pretty Fly stole that from me! erm wait...that was me! What a coincidence!

    Next soon!
    Stay tunned!


    P.S. -> I'm happy to announce that Dirty Magic Recorded will be on our website this Holidays season.
    I am not another The Offspring fan but just THE Offspring FAN !

    Dexter Holland - "Which one of you goes by the screen name of RonWelty?"

  9. #59
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    Day 2 - Dexter on the Song

    Crossroads
    Self-Titled

    I have to be honest, I just wrote shit about denial, rage and fear of the future on this lyric. Things that both my pets could had writen for me.

    "I still want to know
    Who can see for me
    Crossroads tell me"

    It's time to ask:

    Why i wrote this shit?
    Crossroads tell me

    End of discussion..
    I am not another The Offspring fan but just THE Offspring FAN !

    Dexter Holland - "Which one of you goes by the screen name of RonWelty?"

  10. #60
    Camilamazed Guest


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    I don't remember how it is. Let me download it.
    haha, looks like it's not very far from the truth.

    They put me out of the militar system, I treat them badly in my musical system.
    My crystal ball tells me now who might be the shooter in Hammerhead.

    *singing*

    Rebel, rebel...

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