As you have no doubt guessed, I have many failings.
Part of the reason for that is because they are numerous and obvious. However, another reason my abrasive tendencies are so visible is because I don't bother to hide them very often. While meeting the parents I'll make an effort, but short of that? Please.
Now, one of my many failings, aside from brilliance and good looks, is a semi-complete inability to tell public from private. Sometimes I just don't know (or don't get) people's embarrassment with certain topics and so continue to discuss them or bring things up.
When I got back from France this year I was jet-lagged as hell and had had one of the worst trip experiences of my life. When I finally got home we had friends over. I hung out for a bit, went to watch Avatar in that weird twilight zone after your first day awake (and after you've flown, when you feel like things are still moving slightly even when sitting still) then I had a few beers, a glass of wine, and went to sleep.
Four hours later I am roused from sleep by a panicked "HEY!"
Step one: I wake up.
Step two: I realize I am standing up. That's unusual. Hold on a second...
Step three: I realize I'm peeing right now. Standing up in the dark.
Step four: What?! I'm peeing! I'm in my room, standing up, peeing!
Step five: I finally get it and stop peeing all over the mirror in the bedroom.
Step six: Holly (utterer of HEY!) ushers me into the bathroom so I can finish, then actually cleans the rest up for me (can you say keeper?).
Step seven: I finish, slur out an apology and go back to sleep.
That was it. The next day I told the story. However a friend had a similar experience - well, it was much worse, but still - and wouldn't let me tell anyone for over a year, after which point it suddenly became alright to talk about.
Where is this line between public and private? Why can you play never have I ever like a bunch of children and brag about your sex lives in the broadest terms but squeal and run away when your little embarrassments come out of hiding?
The point is this. Everyone's got a pee story. What's yours?
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