Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 11 to 18 of 18

Thread: Rate (original) lyrics thread

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    8,680


    Default

    I'm a huge fan of good lyricists. My favorite is probably John K. Samson (of The Weakerthans), who tends to use more of a poetic story-telling mode to explain a feeling or describe some set of emotions that follow along with the story than actual songwriting technique. This kind of creates a border surrounding the story, letting the listener infer what has happened to cause this outcome. He's just great at defining what makes us human, I guess, and pointing it out in song.

    The trick, I think, to writing a good song, lyric-wise, is about the same to writing a good song, music-wise, it just uses a different side of your brain, so to speak. When writing music, you want to pick notes and chords that will evoke emotions, just like how when you write lyrics, you want to use strong word choice that will accurately define what you want to say.

    Similarly, a good song will repeat sections to add power; like when you hear the intro of a song and then it comes back in halfway through to act as a bridge: a good amount of repetition in the style and syntax can add power to the original line and compound it on later lines that feel similar to the first.

    Most importantly is to just write it out the way that people THINK; there's no need to go out of your way to make it ABOUT something, if you're writing and it means something to you, then it should mean something to other people. You've just got to let your guard down and bare your soul for a minute, and other people will be able to identify with it, as well.

    At least, that's how I see things, and that's what I go for when I write lyrics.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    london
    Posts
    9,440


    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ilovellamas View Post
    I can't say I've ever paid attention to your lyrics (most of your best songs, in my opinion, don't even have vocal parts), so I can't comment on whether or not your lyrics are any good... but this description seems too formulaic to me for lyrics :P My favorite lyrics tend to be free-verse (if that term can be used for music)... story-telling kinda stuff... a good example for me is Alanis. Her first major album used a lot more meter and such, but as she got/gets better, she used/uses much more natural and flowing lyrics... which I guess generally just strikes me as more interesting and emotional. Also, I feel like you can tell when someone tries to force a song to have meter and rhyme, and when it just comes naturally.
    I wasn't really looking for any sort of validation, because the truth is that I am a pretty crappy lyricist - the AABBAACC was just an example and is about as tedious as it gets. Rhymes in general should be approached less as a songwriting technique and more as a possible strategy to smooth over other ideas.

    It was really just an extension of my criticism of lyrical ideas that get forced into something, partly because it isn't possible for lyrics to become disconnected from the music - reading them makes the experience completely different specifically because you're lacking that cadence and context that makes them important in the song. Lyrics have to work in counterpoint to music, otherwise they aren't lyrics. That's not to say that speaking can't be musical - rap remains a form of music based more on that cadence and placement. Disconnect some of that from its music and you might just have an angry essay (lolz rappers r h8rs).

    Some lyricists - metal and heavy rock especially - also feel the need to throw big words around as if it makes what they're saying somehow more profound than if they said it without the dictionary weighing down their lyrical content. I don't feel it's necessary to throw in the word "caldera" to showcase a vaguely latin word and make yourself sound more profound, unless you're actually talking about the collapsing of a volcano.

    That said, I'd like to mention as an aside that this isn't a criticism of mspunk13's lyrics - just an observation that I wouldn't truly be able to judge their worth without hearing them to music.
    Last edited by T-6005; 02-23-2010 at 04:12 PM.
    Thibault's New Music Site!
    Quote Originally Posted by wheelchairman
    Those wool-headed buffoons have more pride than a Shaido with one goat.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Czech Republic
    Posts
    18,095


    Default

    Oh I know you were seeking validation - don't worry. I only mentioned it to make sure you didn't think I was slagging your lyrics.
    Quote Originally Posted by jsmak84 View Post
    I do not drink alcohol and coffee

    I do not smoke and do not do drugs

    I just do bumpin in my trunk

  4. #14
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    17


    Default

    Thanks a lot! But now I'm thinking, my lyrics sound sorta emo. I don't like this fact :/ I will try to write more positive songs in the future.

    Yeah, just keep trying to expand your horizons as a writer/lyricist: emo, positive, negative, angry, questioning, etc. My favorite writers and lyricists can explore all different types of ideas and emotions.

    Nine lives:
    I have to say you did an impressive job. Seriously, you made me actually like lyrics about love and I'm a die-hard lovesong hater I really like the metaphores.

    Thanks, I have always been a big fan of metaphors myself. I think a lot of love songs get boring because they are one dimensional, it's either: I love you but I can't have you, heartbreak, I love you and I am so happy, or I lost you/the one that got away. I think most relationships are more complex, and that people are both victims and villains, in terms of love and relationships. For example, I have had my heartbroken, yet I have broken other people's hearts. I have been treated badly, yet I can be a bit of a bastard myself. I think it's interesting to lyrically explore where these things intersect. Anyways, thanks for the kind feedback.

    - Jason

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Czech Republic
    Posts
    18,095


    Default

    Thought I'd contribute to this thread for the hell of it... I "wrote" a song almost two months ago, using guitar pro (cause of my lack of instruments), and hope to record it at some point in the future. Like Thi, I don't spend much time on lyrics because they're not very important to me, but I thought it'd be interesting to have you guys give some feedback about them. I don't mind them, except I don't like the last verse. So here you go... please tell me what you think:

    The Last of the Girl

    Where'd you go?
    The time I left home again and no one knows what I'm doing
    The time I lost my mind

    Time moved so slow
    Until I went back and finished up what I began with
    So many years ago

    I could give so many reasons why
    It's so hard to move forward and walk away
    Feels like the termination of existence
    But I only exist in the terminal

    It's impossible
    To lay down your cards and not care about all the others'
    No matter how sure you are

    But you have to show
    Cause if you don't, all the anticipation you've built up is worthless
    Eventually you'll explode

    We hear all their happy cries tonight
    Drunk and dancing in their celebrations
    While we wonder why they'd celebrate a funeral
    Cause we only exist in the terminal

    Don't want to go back (but there's nothing pressing ahead)
    Can't we pull away? (Both sides so strong)
    We've realized a dream and now,
    Though I'm starting to believe I can't,
    Decide where to aim my gun
    Quote Originally Posted by jsmak84 View Post
    I do not drink alcohol and coffee

    I do not smoke and do not do drugs

    I just do bumpin in my trunk

  6. #16
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    17


    Default Phantoms

    Phantoms

    Saw myself reflected in you
    Thought I could stop my pain
    By being your tourniquet

    Tried so hard, to keep our cravings
    From carving their way into consciousness
    But they severed our serenity
    And divorced our love from trust

    Denial taught me how to lie
    Found clever places
    To hide from my shadow
    And slip into illusion

    Enchanted by envy
    And enamored with vanity
    Hubris led us down the spiral

  7. #17
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    17


    Default

    Shedding Schisms

    Shedding skin at sunset
    I succumb to my subconscious
    And sell my soul to stimulate
    Sullen and subdued senses

    Savoring sensations, as I spiral
    Into a sea of self-loathing
    Where the severed serpent speaks of
    The gold within my shadow

    Starving for control, I slither into
    The sanctuary of self-reproach
    Safe from the sacrifice required
    To heal the schisms

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Nederland
    Posts
    3,463


    Default

    All the ancient awarded alliterations!
    Quote Originally Posted by SåS View Post
    Then we got 1000+ views on our myspace, that was our biggest achievement
    Quote Originally Posted by RexDarr View Post
    Our goal is to find a drummer & rythm guitarist, record a 5 song demo, get on the radio,


    The Ricetigers

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •