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Thread: You know what sucks?

  1. #1
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    Default You know what sucks?

    Granted, I can think of a lot off the top of my head that's worse....but this just happened recently (and it seems to happen frequently), so I'm going with it for now~

    When there's someone you want to go out with, but you work with them (or see them regularly, or whatever), and you have kind of a good friendship dynamic going, and you're afraid to ask them out because if they don't see you that way, they might be kind of freaked out or start getting uncomfortable around you, so on and so forth. So of course you end up asking them out, and they say "yeah, sure," and seem relatively enthusiastic, you swap phone numbers and such, and then you get together and hang out a couple of times.

    And then the other person's boyfriend (or girlfriend, if you're a chick) comes up in conversation, just casually and nonchalantly.

    And you're thinking, "um, what?"

    And then a few moments of awkward conversation later, you realize that they misunderstood and thought you were just hanging out as friends, and they were already dating someone else.

    ....

    I really fucking hate that.

    I don't get mad at them (because really it's my fault for saying, "let's hang out," which I suppose could refer to casually hanging out as friends, when perhaps I should've phrased it more obviously....I mostly said it that way because I was nervous and trying to be subtle...), but it's still frustrating when that happens. And it seems to happen to me a lot (twice since this time last year)....GHAA!

    I wangsted about it for awhile and eventually I realized, think I could avoid this in the future by simply being more direct (i.e. "Hey, wanna go out some time, like a date?" etc.), but that can be a problem down here sometimes because, me being a guy and this being the deep(ly fundamentalist) south, everyone tends to overly sexualize even the slightest communication between men and women, and so if I'm *too* forward, they tend to think I'm just horn-dogging them and that I'm expecting to "get some" on the first date or something. And I'm not I'm just trying to show some fucking *confidence*....

    [/rant]

    Anyway, thanks for listening (or not listening), BBS Now I'm done BAWWWWing and you can throw out your comments, suggestions, insults, whatevers, etc. etc.
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  2. #2
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    Thumbs up Really

    I think that we should to think clear our objetives,if you really wants something seriously,don´t play with somebody!!
    Be clear
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  3. #3
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    Default

    I totally get what you mean man. Just today I spent alot of time with a new female friend of mine (still don't know her all that well), and at the end of the day she said she has a boyfriend. Funny how that seems to be the LAST thing people mention, lol.
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  4. #4


    Default

    That's why the first thing you should ask is if she has a boyfriend. I know it's risky because she could either be flattered that you've shown interest or she could be thinking "don't even try asking me out, creep". However, it's better than finding out long after you've asked her out that she has a boyfriend. That's a real mood-killer (or deal-breaker as some might call it)right there. I'm sorry about your letdown dude. I know if I'm hanging out with a girl I'm interested in and she mentions having a boyfriend, it just ruins the whole moment. Last thing you want to hear about is some other guy's good fortune.

  5. #5
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    Default

    I feel your pain man, this has happened to me a couple of times :S. I think the best thing to do is just to pick yourself up and move on (assuming you had a light crush on this girl and wernt head over heels in love) and find someone else.

    As sad, stalky and 21st century as this sounds one way to find out is to add them on facebook if they have it. Youll probably be good enough friends to get an acceptance and then just take a gander at the relationship status and youll see what chance you have straight away .

    Still gutted for ya though, its a bitch when that happens.
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  6. #6
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    Default

    get a fuck buddy
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  7. #7
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    Default

    That's tough, man. But you're sort of discovering the right way to go about it. Definitely ask if she's single first. Then when you ask her out, avoid "hang out," "chill," etc. If you drive, you could suggest picking her up instead of meeting her somewhere, which'll make it more clear. That's pretty much all you can do that you haven't. I think confidence will come easier as you go on. Good luck next time, broski.
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  8. #8
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by AllIn All It's Not So Bad View Post
    get a fuck buddy
    Been reading lots of really good advice for the lad. THIS is not one of them.

    Dude (original poster), whatever you do, do NOT do this!
    The g Factor is to be God-smacked...

  9. #9
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by For Real View Post
    Been reading lots of really good advice for the lad. THIS is not one of them.

    Dude (original poster), whatever you do, do NOT do this!
    For Real .
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  10. #10
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Static_Martyr View Post
    [/rant]
    ^LOL!!!

    This happened to me once. Except she didn't tell me, it was her who started flirting and then after two weeks or so I saw her kissing her boyfriend.

    Unfortunately, I don't have any advice for you because I am myself always very, very straightforward... that's the way I am. I think I am too straightforward and even though I don't think that makes me sound like a pervert, it might be simply not subtle and romantic enough for girls

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