My cousin just called me ... she's been packing up my recently deceased granddad's stuff in our family's old summer house because they are selling it and she just found these letters.. In Swedish .. (my granddad is Finnish-Swede but spoke Finnish to his wife&kids)
My cousin goes, "They're for a friend of his he met in the army and if I'm reading them right.."
That's fucking right. Ricky Martin all over those letters.
Three things why this is so shocking to me
1) Because it makes so much fucking sense. This man was always cold and distant and withdrew to spend time on his own. He didn't seem to love his kids. He didn't seem to love anybody. If this is the reason - and I guess it's still an if - it just makes sense. It gives him reason, somehow.
2) Grandmum probably knows. Has known the whole time. So fucked up. And she's the most anti-gay Christian I know .. she divorced church recently because some new bishop in Finland is not as anti-gay as she is. Good grief.
3) Nobody will believe this. It'll become one of those hushed things nobody ever discusses, one of those godawful family secrets and I'm so upset by this. I want this shit to be out. I want us to talk about it - for the benefit of other family members who might be in the closet, for the benefit of those who hate guys, for those of us who don't and actually know gay people.
This shit needs to be out in the open.
But it won't be. My cousin is already semi-disliked by grandma (though she won't say it), they'll just deny it if we ever bring it up. They'll deny the content of the letters based on the fact they're in Swedish, they'll say "oh something lost in translation, doesn't mean they were like that.." and my cousin read some of them out to me, and it so blatant - well, as blatant as it can be during 1940's, YES they fucking were.
Gahhh excuse any errors in this post, just had to fucking vent about this issue. Off to call my other cousin to discuss to. Un-fucking-believable.